What It's Like


Zelgadis smashed the vial in his and watched the glass shards fall and pierce the soft dirt below his feet. Yet another failed cured. Another wasted month of his life, and he was no closer to his goal. Angrily, he punched the wall of the old temple, and swore at the wall as the ancient bricks crumbled and turned to dust. Everything in this temple would shatter like it had shattered his hope. Gathering energy in his hands, he blasted the place again and again, leaving another smoldering building in his path.

He had but turned his back when a mildly annoying blow fell on the back of his head. Turning, he readied a spell to incenerate the fool who had been so stupid. The spell dissipated as Zelgadis stared slack jawed at Lina Inverse.

"You! How dare you smash ancient treasures, especially before I get a chance to loot them!"

Zelgadis laughed gently and pulled off his hood. "You haven't changed at all in the last two decades, have you."

Lina blinked off her surprise that she had accidently found her old companion, and then huffed with annoyance. "Please, don't tell me you can't tell how much bigger my breats are?"

"No."

"Fireball!"

Zelgadis wiped the ashes off his black cape, and smiled again. "No change at all..."

"It's been a long time Zelgadis. Why don't we stop at an inn and have dinner together?"

"I really should be on my way..." Zelgadis caught the glare she was giving him. "..But if it's a quick dinner..."

"Isn't it always?"

"No."


Lina guzzled down another glass before tunring her attention back to Zelgadis. "So why were you at that temple? Don't tell me you're still looking for your cure!" she laughed.

"Of course."

Lina's laughter stopped abruptly. "Zel.. you haven't seriously been looking for a stupid cure for twenty years have you? You're such an idiot!!"

Anger boiled in Zelgadis' chest as he remembered why they had gone seperate ways in the first place. "Lina, I really don't want to have this fight with you again. It's my life and my choice!!"

"I can't believe you're still so childish!"

"I'm childish?! You still look seven, and act four!"

"At least I'm not terminally obsessed with my appearance as I am self-confident and secure in what I am!!"

"You look normal! Of course are! You don't know what it's like Lina..."

Lina rolled her eyes, preparing for the ancient meoldramatic speech.

"You don't know what it's like to have woman and children run when they see you coming... to have men want to kill you wherever you go. To have restuarants and inns reject you when they see your face, to call you a murder or a monster or a heartless devil! To be walking freak, the terror of anyone who sees you, to live on in nightmares of children. Do you have any idea of the pain?"

Lina closed her eyes. "You know Zel, this is something I wished I had the guts to say twenty years ago. Yes. Yes, Zelgadis, in fact I do. I'm Lina Inverse, the one even a dragon wouldn't mess with, the enemy of all who lives. You've seen how people react to me, you've heard their cries of terror when they hear my name, even why I'm helping them. I am everybody's worst nightmare, far more then you. You think their words or stares don't hurt me? You think just becuase I don't pout or sulk that I'm immune? At least you have the chance at a cure!!" By now tears were running down her face. "You always have the hope of a way out. At least the way people treat you isn't your fault, you have Rezo to blame! I earned my titles! And no matter how much I ever hated them, I never burdened my friends with the fact that everyday I look at myself in the mirror and see a monster. Not in body, but in heart, soul and mind. Evil is so much more then skin deep, Zelgadis."

Zelgadis stared as Lina walked away. "L-lina..."

"You walked away from us a thousand times, Zelgadis. You were a freak and didn't want us to see you. I'm walking away now Zel, because I'm the true freak, and for once in my life I deserve a moment of self-indulging grief." She paused, but did not turn to face him. "Give it up Zel. You're doing no one any good... and everybody thinks all the temples you blow up are my fault."

Zelgadis watched Lina walk away, and sat held in place by the shock.


Fanfiction