Song by 98 Degrees: The Hardest Thing
We both know that I shouldn't be here
This is wrong
I sip my coffee as I sneak a glance to look at her. Her childish like style caught everyone's attention. Including mine. She announced that she should go to bed, as she was tired. She says goodnight and went upstairs.
And baby, it's killin me it's killin you
Both of us tryin' to be strong
Actually I know the real reason why she would want to go to bed this early. I stood up and walked away from the chaotic table occupied by my 'friends'.
"Are you going to sleep already?" My 'friends' asked.
"Yes," I answered. They looked at each other. I know I'm not the go-to-sleep-early type. I ignored their expression and lifted my legs upstairs.
I've got somewhere else to be
Promises to keep
I walk along the corridor until I saw her. Right in front of the bay window admiring the view of the city in the night-light. The moon shone on her silky, shiny hair and on her smooth, peach skin. I was breathless for a moment. She smiled when she saw me coming towards her.
Someone else who loves me
And trusts me fast asleep
"I thought you weren't coming," she said. I didn't say anything. "Beautiful isn't it?" She said gazing outside. I nodded, agreeing although I wasn't thinking about the city.
"So, what do you want to talk about?" She asked, smiling. At first I wanted to cancel the thought of saying this to her. But....
I've made up my mind
There is no turning back
She's been good to me
And she deserves better than that
"I... don't think we should.." I began. I put the words together and I just blurt it all out.
It's the hardest thing
I'll ever have to do
To look you in the eye
And tell you I don't love you
"I don't love you," I said while looking straight into her glossy eyes. The words crashed to her like bricks on an insect. Her smiley face turns into a frown. My heart shattered when I finally said that. I wanted to take it back but it was too late. She didn't say anything but just stared at the view outside. But I could see the tears forming in her eyes. I'm sorry, I really am. Hurting you is the worst thing that I would do. I didn't say that.
It's the hardest thing
I'll ever have to lie
I stood there waiting for a reply. She said nothing. Suddenly she broke down in quiet sobs. I didn't even comfort her. I felt... frozen.
To show no emotion
When you start to cry
She quietly sobbed and sobbed. I didn't even went to comfort her. 'Why?' Her face said. Her tears streaming down her cheeks, her eyes blurry with sad tears. I kept quiet as I looked anywhere but her innocent, sorrowful, forlorn face.
I can't let you see
What you mean to me
When's my hands are tied
And my heart's not free
"Do you hate me?" She asked her eyes filled with tears.
"No," I said with no expression on me. She wiped away her tears and looked straight into my eyes.
"Well, at least you don't hate me, " She said after a while. Her lips curved into a slight smile.
You could see she was trying to cover up her sadness. I don't know why, but I didn't do anything to comfort her. I didn't even apologize.
We're not meant to be
"I guess this is it," I said not truly meaning it.
"Mmm...." She sighed as she continued gazing out the window. I could see her reflection, her unhappy reflection. "But you know, I still have feelings for you,"
It's the hardest thing
I'll ever have to do
I said nothing.
To turn around and walk away
Pretending I don't love you
My hands automatically reached out to touch her. But my mind manage to pull my hands back.
As I turn around and walk away I sneak a glance at her. She was still gazing outside. I just walked and walked away....
I know that we'll meet again
Fate has a place and time
Someday.... We'll come upon each other... and maybe by then....
So you can get on with your life
I've got to be cruel to be kind
I'm sorry....
Like Dr. Zhivago
All my love I'll be sending
And you will never know
'Cause there can be no happy ending
I went into my room and plopped into bed. As I stared at the ceiling and thought about what I just did, yet, I do not know whether it's right.. or wrong. But somehow, I know that I won't be happy knowing she still have feelings for me as I do for her and we are not together. I know I'll be happy just looking at her childlike appearance, her sweet, innocent face.
It's the hardest thing
I'll ever have to do
To look you in the eye
And tell you I don't love you
But I'm not going to be happy knowing that she's sad...
It's the hardest thing
I'll ever have to lie
To show no emotion
When you start to cry
I'm not going to be happy if she hates me.
I can't let you see
What you mean to me
When's my hands are tied
And my heart's not free
We're not meant to be
She means so much to me....
It's the hardest thing
I'll ever have to do
To turn around and walk away
Pretending I don't love you
So much...
Maybe another time, another day
As much as I want to, I can't stay
Maybe....... Someday......
I've made up my mind
There is no turning back
She's been good to me
And she deserves better than that
I know she would someday meet someone who would treat her better, someone who isn't like me. A walking nightmare. I don't deserve her.My heart still and will forever aches until I believe that I am worthy of her. But I know always, in my heart that I love her for all eternity.
Amelia......
I don't like boy bands. Really! I just like some of the songs. So anyway, if you haven't guessed it by now... it's about Zelgadis and Amelia. I think, I know they make a darn good couple! Goddarnnit!!