Magical Slayers Theatre 3000: The Beast


Notes

navy = the document to be MiSTed.


(The funky-anime-background pocket dimension. Elizabeth is seated before The Obscenely Large Monitor, busily typing away. Suddenly she stops and looks at her watch.)

ELIZABETH: Five...four...three...two...o--

(Xelloss pops in.)

XELLOSS: Greetings.

ELIZABETH: (grins) Punctual as always, I see.

XELLOSS: Of course.

ELIZABETH: Well, let's get this little party started.

(Lina and Zel appear. The former holds a drumstick in one hand and a dinner roll in the other. The latter is clutching his omnipresent cup of coffee. Or, rather, they did; they are so startled to find themselves here that they drop what they are holding.)

LINA: Huh?

ZEL: What are we doing back here?

ELIZABETH: How quickly some forget. You were here not that long ago, Zel-kun, after revenge for the way I mistreat you.

ZEL: (annoyed) I remember that; do I look like Gourry to you?

ELIZABETH: (sighs) Ohhhh, no. You look much better than the dumb blond.

ZEL: (nonchalantly moving away from Elizabeth) .....

LINA: Xelloss?

XELLOSS: Hello, Lina-chan.

LINA: Why are you here?

ELIZABETH: I invited him. I though he might enjoy this.

LINA: Enjoy what?

ELIZABETH: Doing what you did with Freed to the beast.

LINA: ...why?

ELIZABETH: You could think of it as payback, I suppose. After all, this is a very lovely you/Xelloss piece, and Zel-kun certainly won't like that.

ZEL: (still staying away from Elizabeth) What about Lina?

(Lina shoots Zel a dirty look.)

ELIZABETH: Oh, I'm not really angry at her. /You/ were the one seeking revenge, ne?

XELLOSS: Of course, the fact that Lina is your favourite had nothing to do with your decision not to seek retribution from her, right?

ELIZABETH: .....

LINA: Wait. How is trouncing one of your stories supposed to repay Zel?

ELIZABETH: You'll just have to wait and see.

LINA: (grumbling) Let's get on with it, then.

Subj: [songfic] the beast (1/2)
Date: 2/2/99 9:29:32 AM Central Standard Time
From: NuitCoeur@aol.com

LINA: What does "new-it-co-er" mean?

ELIZABETH: It's pronounced "new-ee-cur," actually, and it means "night heart" in french.

ZEL: How apt.

ELIZABETH: Well, I thought so.

ZEL:.....

To: zellinaxeros@listbot.com

XELLOSS: Why does Zel's name come before mine?

ELIZABETH: I guess Sarah likes Zel-kun more than she likes you.

XELLOSS: Humph.

Slayers Fanatics! - http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Gulf/4007/index.html

Um, y'all ought to note,

ZEL: "Y'all"?

ELIZABETH: So I have an ecletic vocabulary of slang. Is that so zarbi?

LINA: "Zarbi"?

ELIZABETH: That is - or was, at least - french slang for bizarre.

LINA: In that case, yes, it is so zarbi.

ELIZABETH: Humph.

before reading further... I'm not sure exactly what the bloody hell I was thinking when I wrote this,

ZEL: That works out; I don't know what the bloody hell you were thinking, either, when I read your work.

except that I ought to write a Lina/Xelloss piece,

XELLOSS: You've been doing quite well in that area lately. Kokoro, The Hunger ... I've been quite pleased.

(Elizabeth beams.)

ZEL: You would, you hentai. The Hunger being Metallium's first lemon. (shudders)

and that I wanted to write a songfic a la fkfic-l.

ELIZABETH: Before you ask, fkfic-l is THE Forever Knight fanfiction mailing list, and there've been songfics like this posted on it for years.

ZEL: All I never wanted to know about fkfic-l. Thanks ever so much.

It turned out...strangely.

LINA: All your stuff turns out strangely.

ELIZABETH: Yeah, well....

"the beast," written by Johnette Napolitano, is performed by Concrete Blonde on their album "Bloodletting." If you've never heard that album, you are SO missing out.

(Elizabeth raises a sign that says "Buy BLOODLETTING today!".)

Lyrics are after "##"s.
________
the beast

##the prey of the beast
##screamed bloody murder
##the line is so fine between hoping and hurting
##former believers, they beg for release
##as love, looking down on them, smiles and picks his teeth

ZEL: o.O

LINA: ...what cheerful lyrics.

XELLOSS: I like them.

ZEL: You would.

"It's MY LIFE!" Lina screeched angrily.

"And you're risking it!" Gourry returned heatedly.

"I risk it every gods-cursed day!"

"Being who you are, yes, simply living day to day can be dangerous. I understand that," Zelgadiss, ever the quiet voice of reason, interjected. "But this is beyond everyday risk. It's reckless, even for you."

LINA: Not to sound like Gourry, but...what the HELL are we talking about?

ELIZABETH: Wait and see.

"Don't you think I know it's not safe? Don't you think I've thought about this myself?...wait, you don't think I've thought about this, do you?"

"But, Lina-san, you don't seem to be - "

"I don't seem to be many things.

XELLOSS: And you do seem to be many other things, like -

ZEL: Don't say it.

XELLOSS: (all innocence) Say what?

Things aren't always what they seem." She glared at Amelia, then gave Zel a piercing look. "You, at least, ought to understand that, Zel."

(Zel winces.)

Zel bristled. "Stop dodging the issue."

"The subject is not open for debate," Lina finally said, her voice cold.

"But Lina - " Gourry began.

"It's not debatable," Lina reiterated, her tone getting chiller still. "If you'll excuse me, I'd like to be alone." The unspoken corollary

XELLOSS: A corollary...isn't that a mathematical clause?

ELIZABETH: Um...

was that she was to be disturbed only in case of extreme emergency, and even then at the risk of the one's life.

LINA: Yeah!

(Zel looks questioningly at Lina. She shrugs.)

After she was out of earshot, Gourry made an exasperated noise. "I don't understand her sometimes."

"Most of the time," Zel corrected with bitter humour.

"Can't she see the danger?" Amelia asked no-one in particular.

"That's the problem. She sees the danger and doesn't care," Zel responded flatly.

Nearby, sprawled on the branch of a tall tree, the reason for this conversation watched, his violet eyes open and sparkling with amusement. Then, smirking widely, he disappeared.

ZEL: (grumbling) I have to admit, you got that damn mazoku's personality right-on there.

##trapped in-between heaven and hell
##he knows all the secrets and don't want to tell
##there's nowhere to run and there's nowhere to hide
##love knows you all too well - he will find you

Lina hit the water for the umpteenth time that evening. How dare they try to tell me what to do. As if I can't take care of myself!

She sighed, climbing out of the river. It's hard to keep my mind off the others when I'm engaging in Zel's favourite passtime.

XELLOSS: What pastime is that, exactly?

LINA: (with a "duh-that's-obvious" expression) Bathing, of course!

XELLOSS: Gomen, but after reading Would Not Come I always wonder if -

ELIZABETH: Don't go there. Just...don't go there.

Absently Lina began drying herself off. Maybe I shouldn't have gotten so angry. But, dammit, it is my life.

Xelloss hid in plain sight, the shadows masking his presence. He'd gone after Lina and had been able to watch her bathe. What a lovely bonus, he mused as he watched her dress.

(Lina is now blushing bright red. Zel is fuming. Xelloss is smirking widely.)

XELLOSS: If you think this is something, Zel-kun, wait untill she posts The Hunger.

Lina opted not to put her cape back on; it was a little warm, and she was more comfortable without it.

LINA: Do you have something against my cape?

ELIZABETH: Not...really.

LINA: I like my cape.

ZEL: I like Lina's cape, too.

(Elizabeth grins at Xelloss and mouths the word "fetish.")

Slinging it over one shoulder, Lina wandered in the opposite direction from the campsite, humming tunelessly as she did so.

LINA: (angry) Are you implying that I can't carry a tune?!

ELIZABETH: (puts up hands in a warding-off gesture) Of course not! I have some Slayers CDs; I know you can do more than just carry a tune!

(Lina nods, satisfied with this explaination. Elizabeth breathes a sigh of relief.)

Lina gasped as she turned a corner to find Xelloss perched atop a large rock.

"Hello, Lina-san," the priest greeted with a smile.

"Xelloss? What are you doing here? Wait, I know: 'that is a secret'," she recited.

ZEL: Now we're back to the cliches, hm?

(Elizabeth pouts. Zel looks pensive.)

ZEL: Would you mind terribly if I played the drinking game as we continue?

ELIZABETH: (pleased) Sure!

(Amelia of all people shows up, bearing a copy of the drinking game and a case of The Good Stuff.)

AMELIA: I protest! This servititude is unfitting for a princess and a champion of Justice.

ELIZABETH: Amelia?

AMELIA: Hai?

ELIZABETH: Kindly silence yourself, or I'll do it for you.

AMELIA: (meekly) Hai.

(Amelia sets her burden down next to Zel and beats a hasty retreat.)

ELIZABETH: (smiles) I love my job.

Xelloss winked at her in reply.

Lina looked at the priest with not a little suspicion. Does he know that the others and I argued about him just a little while ago? How could he? But, then, this is Xelloss...

ZEL: (reads) "A character becomes introspective and recaps previous events mentally." (takes one drink)

XELLOSS: (aside, to Elizabeth) You do realise he's doing this to make the reading less painful?

ELIZABETH: Of course.

XELLOSS: And you're letting him get away with this why?

ELIZABETH: I have two words for you: tipsy Zel-kun.

XELLOSS: (nods, smirks) Ahh.

ELIZABETH: (to Zel) Hey, don't forget to take a drink for this being a songfic!

(Zel gives her a strange look, then takes another drink.)

"What do you want?" Lina asked.

XELLOSS: Actually, I -

ZEL: DON'T SAY IT!!

ELIZABETH: Yeesh, calm down, Zel-kun. You'll get an ulcer.

"Why do you think I 'want' anything?"

Lina frowned. "I learn from experience."

"Touch=E9."

LINA: "=E9"?

ELIZABETH: (sweatdrops) I kinda forgot to remove the special charater.

##love is the ghost, haunting your head ##love is the killer you thought was your friend ##love is the creature who lives in the dark ##sneaks up and sticks you and painfully picks you apart

"It's my life!"

Even without Lina there, her words seemed to remain, living things buzzing around her friends' heads.

XELLOSS: You really ought to leave the poetic prose to Tavichan.

ELIZABETH: I know, I know.

LINA: You're no poet, after all.

ZEL: "Nothing Is" proved that.

ELIZABETH: I KNOW!

"He could just kill her, and we couldn't do anything about it," Gourry said, glaring off into the distance.

Zel sighed softly. "I don't really think it matters whether or not he travels with us, on that count. If he's going to kill her, he'll find a way."

LINA: That sounds awfully familiar...

XELLOSS: Yes, quite like Zel's little monologue in Slayers Elsewhere.

ELIZABETH: It does?...I guess it does, at that. Damn.

"Then why were you arguing with Lina-san, too?" Amelia asked, confused.

"My dislike of that mazoku aside, I worry about what trouble his presence will result in." More quietly, he added, "I worry about the effect his influence will have on Lina."

XELLOSS: ("helpfully") That would be "Zel whines about something other than his form or how he wants to find a cure" - two drinks.

(Zel glares at Xelloss, but takes the two drinks anyway.)

##love is a poet, love sings the songs ##pointing his finger, you follow along ##voices are calling, the monster wants out of you ##paws you and claws you, you try not to fall

"You seem upset, Lina-chan," Xelloss noted, his eyes opening to regard her.

ZEL: (grumbles) I'll take "obvious things to say" for 500, Alex.

MINNA (sans Zel): ......

ELIZABETH: I am not letting you watching Jeopardy any more.

"I...I'm fine." Now. Mostly. If you use a very loose definition of 'fine.'~

XELLOSS: Oh, you're most definitely fine, Lina-chan.

(Lina blushes.)

Xelloss raised an eyebrow and Lina reddened slightly. "I had an argument with the others," she admitted.

ELIZABETH: That reminds me, I ought to add "someone blushes" to the one-drink section. Two drinks if it isn't Zel. Oh, feel free to count that now, Zel-kun.

(Zel does so, and takes two more drinks. Elizabeth and Xelloss share wicked, conspiratorial looks.)

"Over what?" the priest inquired curiously. As if he didn't know...

LINA: Is that Xelloss or me thinking that? It's not clear.

ZEL: Which is poor writing style.

ELIZABETH: It was Xelloss, and I know that, Zel-kun.

"What I should - or rather, shouldn't - do," she said with a > dismissive gesture, trying to be as vague as possible.

ELIZABETH: Vague can be fun!

LINA: ....right. Whatever you say.

"You are one of the most powerful sorceresses this world has ever known, you have defeated Dark Lords and part of Shabranigdu Himself, you can cast Nightmare magicks...and they are trying to tell you what to do?" he asked with a chuckle.

She blinked. When you put it that way, it sounds even more absurd that I'd thought. "Well...yes."

ZEL: Something's absurd here, all right. (glares at Elizabeth)

"Such interesting travelling companions you choose, Lina-chan."

You got that right, she thought, eyeing the mazoku priest. She simply shrugged in reply.

"You were right; I do want something," Xelloss said.

LINA: That's kinda out-of-character, isn't it?

ELIZABETH: No, he was just being manipulative.

XELLOSS: And looking damn good doing it, ne?

Lina was startled by Xelloss' straightforward statement, but quickly recovered. "And what's that?"

"I'd like to show you something."

ZEL: (sourly) I bet I know what that something is...

XELLOSS: What an uncharacteristically ecchi remark, Zel-kun.

LINA: (not getting it, the innocent thing) Ecchi? Howso?

ELIZABETH: Don't worry about it.

He hopped up, walked over to her, and offered his hand.

She regarded it, and him, a long moment. Straightening her shoulders, she placed her hand in his. "Let's go, then."

_____

Subj: [songfic] the beast (2/2)
Date: 2/2/99 9:28:28 AM Central Standard Time
From: NuitCoeur@aol.com
To: zellinaxeros@listbot.com

Slayers Fanatics! - http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Gulf/4007/index.html

ZEL: Dear gods, there's more?

ELIZABETH: Yup. (smirks)

XELLOSS: Don't worry, I'm certain there will be some reason for you to take another drink soon.

(Xelloss and Elizabeth again share smirks.)

##love is the leech, sucking you up

ELIZABETH: Don't say it.

XELLOSS: Whyever not?

LINA: Say what?

ELIZABETH: That's why.

##love is a vampire, drunk on your blood
##love is the beast that will tear out your heart
##hungrily lick it and painfully pick it apart

"His influence?" Amelia repeated, obviously still confused.

LINA: That's supposed to be Gourry's job.

ELIZABETH: Yes, well, it's Amelia's turn at the moment.

"He's a mazoku. Whatever influence he has on Lina will not be good. The longer she allows him to travel with us, the stronger his influence may become."

XELLOSS: And you were commenting on my obvious remark?

ZEL: (mutters) Silence. (to himself) Another expository speech. (takes another drink)

XELLOSS: (aside to Elizabeth) Just what is he drinking?

ELIZABETH: The Good Stuff. You know, the kind you can go from zero to plastered on in five minutes?

XELLOSS: Brava.

Gourry looked seriously worried; he obviously had not considered that before, thinking only of Lina's physical saftey.

I'm tired, he thought wearily, feeling suddenly as if the life had been drained from him. Zelgadiss gave him a sympathetic look, apparantly in the same boat as the swordsman.

(Zel mutters something that sounds like "banana boat.")

LINA: What was that?

ZEL: Nothing.

"We went about it the wrong way. If we'd gotten her to reach the same conclusion we did on her own, this might have worked out. As it is, she'll keep him around just to prove she's right," Zel stated wearily.

There was a not-entirely-comfortable silence before Amelia ventured, "Zelgadiss-san? Are you afraid that Xelloss-san may coerce Lina-san to work for the side of Evil?"

ZEL: (to himself) That's close enough to a justice speech... and could even be considered relevant to the plot. (takes two more drinks)

LINA: (looking at Zel with concern) Relevant?

ZEL: Huh?

LINA: Oh, nevermind.

(Elizabeth snickers. Lina looks at the Trickster Priestess piercingly. Elizabeth bats her eyes and does her best innocent act. Lina, being intelligent, doesn't buy it.)

"Not...coerce, so much as convince."

"Like we convinced her to get rid of Xelloss?" Gourry asked with uncharacteristic bitterness.

LINA: Gourry bitter?...I just can't see it.

XELLOSS: Just how many bottles have you gone through, Zel-kun?

ZEL: (looks at one hand, moving his fingers as if counting on them, then shrugs) A few.

XELLOSS: Well isn't that nice ... (grins wickedly)

"No, not like we did. Not at all."

"Then how?" Amelia inquired.

Zel stared off into the distance, unseeing, his expression and tone dull, resigned. "Using the influence I fear he's aquiring the longer he's in contact with Lina."

"What influence?" Amelia was getting tired of not understanding what was being said.

Zel made no reply, simply continuing to gaze at something only he could see.

ZEL: And that's -

(Elizabeth nonchalantly throws a convienantly nearby pillow at Zel.)

ZEL: Hey!...what was I saying?

ELIZABETH: You weren't saying anything.

ZEL: Oh. All right.

ELIZABETH: (aside, to Xelloss) Oooh, he is a lewd drunk. This will be more fun than I'd first thought.

##love is the leech, sucking you up
##love is a vampire, drunk on your blood
##love is the beast that will tear out your heart
##hungrily lick it and painfully pick it apart

"What is this place?"

Lina looked around her with awe. They stood in some sort of cave, whose walls were covered in shimmering silver and crimson crystals.

LINA: Swiped that from The Crystal Caves, huh?

ELIZABETH: No! Actually, it's a plot device.

LINA: Like that's much better?

Xelloss took a sort of satisfaction from Lina's wonder. "Very few have ever been here," he told her.

ZEL: (growls at Xelloss) And it'll stay that way, you perverted mazoku.

LINA: Zel, what ARE you talking about?

ZEL: ...nevermind, Lina.

XELLOSS: And you say I'm the pervert?

ELIZABETH: Well, you are. Just not the only one.

"It's beautiful," Lina couldn't help but state the obvious.

"It works quite well as a place to think without fear of interruption."

ELIZABETH: Don't say it, Zel-kun. Just take a few extra drinks instead.

ZEL: Have been.

(Elizabeth smirks evilly.)

"You come here often?"

ZEL: (accusatory, to Elizabeth) That's a pick-up line! Lina wouldn't -

ELIZABETH: Oh, it is not. Shut up and have another drink.

(Zel looks about read to argue heatedly, but then frowns and opens a new bottle of The Good Stuff.)

It was only partly a question.

"Oh yes, indeed. You might even say it's my 'home away from home.'"

Lina felt vaguely flattered that Xelloss had chosen to share this place with her. "And you brought me here because...?" Lina finally asked.

ZEL: (a little too loud) Lina wouldn't be flattered by that! Ne, Lina?

(Lina says nothing, her cheeks colouring slightly. Zel looks deflated and super-depressed - as in, more depressed than usual - and takes a drink.)

Xelloss shrugged lightly. "I thought you might like to get away from your friends, as you aren't getting along famously at the moment." Of course, that was only one of the reasons, but there was no need for him to tell Lina that. "Do you mind?" he asked, though he knew the answer.

Lina shook her head energetically. "No, not at all." She tossed her cape on the ground and situated herself atop it. I did want to get away from the others for a while.

Lina began studying the cave in earnest, so she did not notice the strange, half-fond, half-predatory smile on Xelloss' face as he looked at her.

(Xelloss looks quite self-satisfied. Zel growls and throws an empty bottle at the priest, which misses.)

LINA: ZEL! (thwacks him, then shakes her now-bruised hand) What'd you do that for?

ZEL: (rubbing his now-bruised head) He...I...that damned mazoku...(trails off, realising he can't very well tell Lina why he'd done that) Gomen nasai, Lina.

LINA: Why are you apologising to me? You threw the bottle at him (nods at Xelloss).

XELLOSS: Yes, don't I deserve an apology?

ZEL: No.

LINA: (warningly) Zel...

ZEL: (insincerely) Gomen.

LINA: Close enough.

##love is the ghost, haunting your head
##love is the killer you thought was your friend
##love is the creature who lives in the dark
##sneak up and stick you and painfully pick you apart

(Elizabeth starts humming the melody line. Everyone looks at her.)

ELIZABETH: What?

ZEL: Please -

LINA: If you have any compassion or decency -

XELLOSS: Even if you don't -

MINNA (sans Elizabeth): DON'T START SINGING!!

ELIZABETH: (scratches the back of her head sheepishly) Uh, sure.

It was late, but only Amelia had gone to sleep. Lina had not yet returned, and both Gourry and Zelgadiss were awake, the former pacing nervously, the latter staring off in the direction in which Lina had gone, as if expecting her to suddenly reappear right there.

Lina did indeed suddenly appear, but in the middle of the campsite, and with Xelloss.

Zelgadiss bit his lip to keep from yelling at the priest.

(Zel does the same thing his counterpart was doing, but only for a moment as he can't bite his lip and drink at the same time.)

Xelloss looked more smug than usual, possibly because his hand was still on Lina's shoulder and the sorceress showed no sign of discomfort or anger about it.

"Are you okay, Lina?" Gourry asked worriedly.

Was she with Xelloss all that time? both Gourry and Zelgadiss wondered, each worried if for slightly different reasons.

"I'm fine," she said airly, then added, "I can take care of myself."

ZEL: Just what happened in that cave??

ELIZABETH & XELLOSS: That is a secret!

(Zel moves as if to jump up, but instead sort of stumbles, and decides he'll stay where he is, after all.)

-end-
______
There is a hypertext version of this document available at http://members.tripod.com/~Metallium/beast.html

--Elizabeth, Trickster Priestess ~_~

ZEL: (starting to slur ever so slightly) No "sore wa himitsu desu": chug. (does so) Hated the story: two bottles. (starts on another bottle)

LINA: (worried) He's had an awful lot to drink...

XELLOSS: Indeed.

ELIZABETH: Ain't it great?

LINA: Did you drug the stuff he's been drinking?

ELIZABETH: Would I do a thing like that?

LINA: Are Amelia's justice speeches annoying?

ELIZABETH: You know me so well. However, I didn't drug his drink.

(Lina looks at Elizabeth suspiciously before going to Zel.)

ELIZABETH: (aside, to Xelloss) Wasn't necessary to drug The Good Stuff.

XELLOSS: I do believe the fireworks are about to begin. (motions toward Lina and Zel)

LINA: (concerned) Are you...feeling okay, Zel?

ZEL: (slurring a little) You're sooooo sweet to be concea - conca - worried about me.

(Lina blinks. Elizabeth and Xelloss walk over to the others.)

ZEL: (glares at Xelloss) I don't like you.

ELIZABETH: We'd never have guessed.

ZEL: (glaring at Elizabeth now) I don't like you, either.

ELIZABETH: Aw, you're just upset because I wrote a Lina/Xelloss lemon and not a Lina/you one.

ZEL: (wails - a really disturbing thing coming from him) There aren't ANY lemons with me and Lina! There's one with me and Amamelia (shudders) and some yaoi, but I NEVER get to be with Lina!!

(Lina is frozen in shock, totally freaked out by Zel's drunken behavior.)

ELIZABETH: Pooooooor mistreated Zel-kun. Would it make you feel better if I said I'd try to write a you/Lina lemon some time in the future?

XELLOSS: Hey!

ELIZABETH: (shrugs, to Xelloss) Well, you know my biases, so you -

(She is cut off by Zel.)

ZEL: (starry-eyed [!!!]) I'll get to be with Lina? REALLY??

ELIZABETH: (sweatdrops) Uh...yes, really.

(Zel glomps her, surprising everyone else. Then he goes over to Lina and glomps HER.)

LINA: What the hell you you think you're doing, Zel??

(Zel doesn't reply, just hugs her.)

LINA: ZEL, LET GO!

(With a sigh of disappointment, Zel does so, then goes over to the dwindling supply of The Good Stuff and starts on yet another bottle.)

XELLOSS: (to Lina, insensed) Why didn't you beat him senseless? You always beat me senseless when I try things like that!!

ELIZABETH: (aside, to Xelloss) Like you don't enjoy it when she does that.

XELLOSS: (aside, to Elizabeth) That's beside the point. (to Lina) Well? Why??

LINA: Because I bet she - (point a finger at Elizabeth accusingly) - planned this. You're paying Zel back by getting him drunk so he'll make a fool of himself.

ELIZABETH: (mildly) He suggested playing. Anyway, who said I brought you two here for payback?

LINA: You said!

ELIZABETH: No, I said you think of it as payback. When I truly do pay Zel back, it won't be something so...so...

(She trails off and stares at Zel. Lina and Xelloss follow her gaze. Zel is still drinking, but he's shed his cloak and shirt and is now clad only in pants and boots.)

ELIZABETH: (ogling Zel) Great view, ne, Lina?

LINA: .....(blushes)

XELLOSS: Humph. (to Elizabeth) If you'll excuse me, I'd really rather not watch you pant over Stone Boy. Good-bye. I'll see you soon, Lina-chan. (pops out as suddenly as he'd popped in)

ELIZABETH: (still ogling Zel) I suppose I really ought to send you two back before he starts dancing. (sigh disappointedly)

LINA: (staring at Zel) ....huh?

ELIZABETH: Oh, nothing. (produces a camera and snaps some pictures of Zel, who is too busy drinking to notice)

LINA: (still staring) Uh-huh.

ELIZABETH: ...Lina, are you going on a diet?

LINA: (as before) Uh-huh.

ELIZABETH: Hm, she seems quite distracted. (pulls out a tape recorder) Lina, do you promise not to kill me if I continue to write dark or lemony or yuri or other such things about you?

LINA: (as before) Uh-huh.

ELIZABETH: Yatta! I got it on tape!

LINA: (finally recovering somewhat) Huh?

ELIZABETH: Don't worry about it.

(Lina immediately becomes worried. Before she can act in her apprehension, however, she and Zel are returned to the place from whence they came. Elizabeth stands alone, looking thoughtful.)

ELIZABETH: (looks at her camera and tape recorder and grins widckedly) I've said it before and I'll say it again: I love my job.

-end...for the moment-


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