Once, he'd thought of himself as determined, resolute, relentless. No longer, because he'd proved otherwise.
He had given up.
For a long, long time, a cure was all Zelgadiss Greywords had lived for - or so he'd told himself. But after a century and some odd decades of fruitless searching, not to mention the unpleasant consequences of said search, he'd simply...given up.
Circumstances being what they were, he couldn't very well search out Lina and travel with her, much as he might wish otherwise. He could hardly live as a normal man in a normal city. Thus the only option he saw left to him was to become a recluse.
He lived just north of the middle of nowhere, he often thought. His sparse cabin-like dwelling was miles away from civilization.
The closest city was Zefilia. Zel always told himself it was a coincidence that the perfect spot for a recluse was relatively near Lina's hometown.
Zel never really believed himself when he said that, either.
It was an incredibly disturbing sight that greeted a tired Zel as he entered his bedroom: Xelloss lay sprawled across Zel's bed.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Zel managed to keep most of the fury out of his voice.
"Why, I'm here to help you!" With a lithe movement, Xelloss was on his feet, standing right in front of Zel.
"Help me?" Xelloss' "help" he could do without, thank you very much.
"You want your old form back, ne?"
Zel's breath caught in his throat. After a moment, he managed, "You know I do. You've known almost as soon as we met...if not before." Xelloss always had been well-informed, and Zel would've been surprised if Xelloss had known of Zel's quest before he'd even known the Trickster Priest's existed.
"I can do this for you," he whispered, his tone so sensual that if Zel hadn't known better, he would've thought Xelloss was offering a sexual favour of some sort. The mazoku priest wrapped an arm around Zel's shoulders. "What do you say, Zel-kun?"
Zel attempted to shrug himself free of the priest's embrace, to no avail. "I say you would never offer anything without expecting something in return."
"Tsk, tsk, ever and always suspicious. Ah well, it is a rather endearing trait, actually. But no, I ask nothing from you in return save that, before I grant your boon, you accompany me."
"Accompany you? Accompany you where?"
"To visit Lina-chan."
"....." He...he could see Lina again. Perhaps, after all this time, she'd forgiven him for leaving and the subsequent tragedy. "Why?"
"Think of it as a reunion of sorts."
"Will Filia and Valtierra be there, as well?" Zel asked sardonically, recovering a bit.
The Trickster Priest snorted, amused. "Hardly."
Zel was tempted, oh so tempted. If all he had to do was visit Lina again...as difficult as that reunion may be, part of Zel welcomed it. He did miss her, missed her terribly; he hadn't seen her in nearly eighty years.
He had learned of the tragedy while passing through a village. He'd overheard two old gossips clucking over how the Princess of Sailoon had commited suicide.
He'd blamed himself. If he hadn't left, perhaps he could've done something. For all he knew, and given Amelia's crush on him, it could've been his fault for leaving. He'd only bothered to mention it to Lina the night before he'd left. The hurt and betrayal he'd seen for a moment before her normal carefree expression was back in place haunted him still.
How could he have gone back to Lina after that? She surely must blame him, just as he blamed himself.
Yet...he missed her so much.
"Just what will I have to do during this trip?"
"Why, simply say hello to Lina-chan, let the dear girl know you're alive, that sort of thing."
"And what will you do?"
"Nothing dire, I assure you."
"Define 'dire.'"
Xelloss laughed, apparently amused by Zel's understandable paranoia. "Dire: horrible, dreadful, terrible."
Zel frowned. It sounded okay...perhaps, if he kept his guard up...
"Well?" Xelloss inquired mildly.
"...it's a deal."
"Wonderful! Let's not dally, then."
Zel blinked and they were somewhere else, standing before a moderately expensive-looking house.
"Go on, knock on the door," Xelloss prodded.
Steeling himself, Zel walked up and rapped on the door.
"Coming!" he heard a wonderful, familiar voice call. The door opened, and there Lina stood.
She was mostly the same, physically. Oh, she looked somewhat older, perhaps eighteen or nineteen where she'd appeared around fifteen when he'd left. The only real difference was in her eyes; they seemed ancient.
"Zel?" Lina sounded - and looked - shocked. "I'd thought... I was afraid..." she trailed off. "I missed you," she said softly, her tone self-depreciating, looking down at the floor in what was a rather uncharacteristic action, it seemed to Zel.
"I missed you, as well," he informed her.
Her eyes shot up and she looked him straight in the eye. "You did?" she asked, surprised.
"Of course!"
"Then why haven't you visited before now?" she demanded, showing some anger. That was the Lina he remembered.
"I didn't think you'd want to see me," he admitted. "After what happened with Amelia..."
"Gods, Zel, Gourry was the dense one, not you! You had nothing to do with that - it was Amelia." Lina seemed to have trouble even saying the princess' name. "Even if you had still been with us, you couldn't have done anything."
That, too, was the Lina Zel remembered: a girl with an uncanny knack for figuring things - and people - out. Yet there was an undercurrent to Lina's words that Zel couldn't quite grasp.
"You know how Zel-kun loves his angst," Xelloss smirked, joining the two at the doorjamb. Zel had almost forgotten the preist was there.
"Xelloss," Lina greeted without any emotion.
Xelloss pouted. "That's not a very warm welcome, Lina-chan!"
"Observant as ever, I see," she replied coolly. What was going on here? Lina was acting the way Zel used to around the Trickster Priest.
"Why are you here with him?" Lina's voice was again devoid of emotion.
Zel wasn't sure which of them Lina had addressed, but the question was moot as Xelloss answered, "Zel-kun and I have a little agreement. I will give him what he wants."
"I'm certain you will," Lina said caustically. "Just like before, ne?"
Like before? What - ?
The priest gave Lina a little half-bow. "Not exactly, but close enough."
Lina looked at Zel, disappointment and sadness exuding from her in palpable waves. "If it's what 'Zel-kun' wants..." She looked away.
Why was she so upset? She'd always seemed to understand his desire to become human again in the past. Then again, that was almost eighty years ago...
"This visit was for my my benefit, then?" Now she sounded resigned. Zel was getting more and more confused, too say nothing of his ever-growing suspicion.
"Indeed," Xelloss confirmed.
"Well, I hope you don't expect any thanks." She glanced at Zel again breifly. "Or approval."
"No," the priest sounded serious, joining in the disturbing trend of uncharacteristic behavior. "But you do deserve this much, at least."
Lina looked at Xelloss a long moment, both of their expressions grave but otherwise unreadable. She nodded once, then turned her attention to Zel.
"I hope this will give you happiness; L-sama knows one of us deserves some." She kissed him on the cheek, then embraced him tightly.
She behaved as if Zel was about to die. Zel's suspicion now left no room for confusion.
"Goodbye, Zelgadiss," Lina whispered.
Xelloss placed a hand on Zel's shoulder, and suddenly they were no longer with Lina. They were back in Zel's home - in his bedroom, actually.
"Why did we leave?" Zel demanded.
"It was time. To have stayed longer would've been a cruelty even I would not inflict upon Lina-chan," Xelloss returned. "Are you ready?"
"No. I want to know why Lina acted as if I were about to be executed, and what she meant when she said 'like before.' "
"Ah, she referred to a little boon I granted her, oh, eighty or so years ago."
Boon...?
"She was devestated when the little princess killed herself. Devestated," the priest continued, suddenly dead serious. "I offered to...repair things, and she accepted."
"'Repair things' how?" Now suspicion was being replaced by dread.
"I brought Amelia back for Lina-chan. Obviously, the only way I could do that was to resurrect the princess as a mazoku."
"You didn't...what am I saying? Of course you did. Is she - "
"Actually, the stress was a little much, and she snapped. Dealt the swordsman quite a blow - he nearly died, though it probably would've better if he had. Lina-chan had no choice but to kill Amelia again."
Oh dear gods, what Lina must've gone through...if only he'd been there!
"Gourry never quite recovered. Drifted in and out of reality. After a while he was rarely lucid at all, and the Sairaag shrine maiden was forced to watch after him until he finally died."
"So that was why Lina was so upset...she thought you were going to make me a mazoku, as well, didn't she? Why didn't you correct her?" Zel demanded, trying to keep the fear from his voice.
"Because she wasn't that far off. I will be replacing your golum part with mazoku. I did say I'd restore your form...not your humanity."
"No!" Blind fool, he should've known: the trick was in the favour itself, not the cost of said favour. Zel reached for his sword as was shocked when he realised it was missing.
"You no longer have any say in the matter. You've already agreed; you cannot back out now." Xelloss laughed, a dark, ominous sound. "You are mine."