"Whose stupid idea was this, anyway?" Lina grumbled, trudging on half-frozen limbs through the snow.
"You did, Lina." Zel said with a sigh, rubbing his frozen arms in a vain attempt to bring warmth to them. He shuddered and tried to see through the frozen blizzard they were currently trekking through.
Lina harumphed and pretended she didn't hear him. She hated cold with a fiery passion, she truly did. Whoever thought of cold should be taken out and shot. It was stupid, it was pointless, all it did was kill things and it was COLD!
Zelgadis squinted and looked through the flakes of ice resting on his lashes to see the blurry brown thing about two hundred yards ahead.
"Lina?"
"Cold cold cold cold cold..."
"Lina?"
"Cold cold cold cold cold cold..."
"Lina!"
"Cold cold cold cold cold cold cold..."
"LINA!!"
"Cold - what?"
"There's a cabin up ahead!" He pointed to the large brown building about a street block's length ahead of them.
"Are you sure?"
Zelgadis facefaulted and got a drift of snow in his face. "Yes, Lina, I'm sure."
"Then MOVE, dammit!!" Lina grabbed hold of his neck and dragged him in the direction of the cabin. She yanked open the door, tossed him inside on his face, pulled the door shut, and promptly fell over.
Zel cautiously approached the fallen Lina, rubbing his sore nose where she had so rudely tossed him on. "Lina? Are you okay?"
"Does it look like I'm okay?" Came the slightly muffled reply. "Goddess, I'm so blue I look like a water sprite..."
Zel sighed and stared looking around the cabin. Okay... a fireplace, but no wood, and nothing to start one with. It was that time of the month, apparently, which meant Lina was extra...er, perky. Hyper by those who loved her, emotional vindictive little firespit by those who didn't. Zel groaned. If he hadn't used up all HIS magic ability flying this far, he'd have been able to do something...
"...Dammit, even WITH this body I'm too weak - " WHAM!!
Lina calmly removed her elbow from the swirly-eyed chimera and glared at him. "let's not get into weak right now, okay?" She said annoyedly.
"PMSing little..."
"WHAT was that?"
"Ummm, nothing."
Lina shivered. "Gods, it's freezing. Zel, do something!"
Zelgadis Greywyrds, powerful Chimera with power beyond that of mere humans, heartless magic using swordsmen of nightmares and feared demon golem human cross, threw a flare carrot at Lina.
"That's the best I can do."
"Dammit!"
"It's...f-f-f-friggin...c-c-c-cold..." Lina sat with her arms around her knees and glared at the chimera.
He raised an eyebrow. "Then take the blanket."
They had found one, singular, blanket, in a corner covered with dust. It wasn't there anymore. It was presently occupying the space in the middle of the room since Lina had tried to strangle Zelgadis with it after he refused to use it. She snorted.
"As you freeze? I think not. I like to sleep at night, thank you."
"You'll sleep better with the blanket."
"I mean, if I let you freeze to death I'd never get any sleep."
"Neither would I."
"You'd be dead."
Zelgadis rolled his eyes. "That's not what I meant and you know it."
"So?"
They sat in silence for a bit.
Zelgadis picked up the blanket and held it towards her. "Look, either you take the blanket or I MAKE you take the blanket." He said annoyedly. Lina snorted.
"You can try."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah." Lina stood slowly and backed away.
"TAKE THE DAMN BLANKET!!" He jumped her, and it turned into a free for all wrestling match. Somewhere in the middle Lina discovered Zelgadis was ticklish, and had mercilessly been tickling his sides, stomach and neck.
"Take the blanket take the blanket take the blanket!!" Lina said annoyedly, tickling him without remorse. He finally managed to stop giggling enough to pull away.
"Lina! You're gonna freeze!" He scolded. He covered his mouth. He scolded? What was wrong with him?
"Zel? Something wrong?"
Zel nodded seriously. "I have a bad feeling about this, Lina."
Lina cocked her head to the side. "Yeah, me too."
"I think...we're in a fanfic."
Lina shrugged. "We've been in a lot of those. So what?"
"We're in a blanket scenario fic."
"Oh nooooo....."
"Oh no indeed."
She thought for a moment. "Well, we don't have to listen. If it's a fanfic, we're not going to get killed off or anything."
"What if it's a darkfic?"
"Ohh, good point. Is it freezing or just frigid weather?"
"Freezing."
"How do you know?"
"I'm getting icicles."
"Oh."
"Yeah, oh."
Lina stared at the blanket. "I guess we'd better use the damn blanket, then. I don't think either one of us wants to freeze."
"Lina, maybe I should just die. After all, I'm only a monster, and - "
Lina thwacked him upside the head. "Don't go all out of character on me, Zel."
"Thanks, I needed that."
"No problem. Get in the blanket, and NO don't take your clothes off, they're added warmth."
"I wasn't going to." He huffed, wrapping up with her against the wall.
"Well, you never know with these fics. Sorry."
"Apology accepted."
"Oh, Zel, with you so near to me, I can - "
THWAK!!
"Thanks, Zel."
"No problem."
They sat in silence.
"Tell me, Lina, do you ever wonder - "
THWAK!!
"I wasn't out of character!! Stop it!!"
"Sorry."
"No you aren't."
"So?"
"Anyway, I was wondering who's writing this fic. Then we may be able to know if it's gonna be a lemon, a darkfic, or what."
"Ummm....hold on."
"What are you doing?"
Lina looked around at him from her position near his back with her hands sliding down the top of his shirt. "What does it look like I'm doing? I'm checking you tag."
"What's that gonna do?"
"HOLD ON!! Ah, here we are. Property of Libby-chan."
"Do we know a Libby-chan?"
"I don't know. It seems vaguely familiar..."
"Isn't she the one writing Nobility?" Zel asked.
"OH! Yeah, she's that one!" Lina laughed. "No problem there! She wouldn't kill us off! Ahahahaha!!"
"Hahahahahaha..."
Wouldn't I?
"...what?"
OOPS! I wasn't supposed to say that! Never mind me, I'm just a tourist....
"Ummm...I think we ought to stay cuddled up and warm...just in case...."
"Yeah, just in case..."
Silence.
"Lina, you're so - "
THWAK!!!
"Get weird on me now, zelly boy, and you'll wish you'd frozen to death."
"Sorry, sorry, I didn't mean to."