Chapter 6

Zelgadis shoved his way through the crowded streets of town towards the unemployment agencies. He'd found he'd been visiting it more and more often. Most of the people there knew him by name.

Suddenly ten kitsunes in a bus that was labeled in something Japanese came up, jumped out, took a million pictures of him, and ran off. Zelgadis stood there for a moment, trying to process that, and eventually gave up.

Nine rather fat men in big red suits yelling ho ho ho at the top of their lungs rushed by, and a few tittering little teenaged girls with gossamer wings scampered by, followed by a roguish young man with goat legs. Zelgadis was knocked to the side, and only his extreme patience kept him from -

"'Scuse me, cat boy, important guy coming through." Zelgadis was shoved to the ground by a man who was obviously rich and obviously also very tasteless. He was dressed all in purple and swayed his hips a bit as he walked. He also had a rather extravagant Mohawk running from his brow to his hindquarters. Zelgadis lost it.


"So you lost your temper again, hey, Zelgadis?" Carl said, searching through his job application forms. Zel nodded, brushing the stiff, wiry fur on his skull back from his face. Tim, the agent, sighed.

"You never can keep a job."

"Hey, it wasn't my fault! People in this damn town seem to think that all cat demons are good for is prostitution! I'm not gonna do that!"

"It's your family tradition! Either that or be in a rather scantily dressed anime!"

"I'm not doin' that, either!"

Tim sighed. "Fine, fine. could be a strip dancer."


"Bath house host?"




"Executive name for whore."


"Well, that's mainly the jobs open for cat demons! Even of your caliber!" Tim shrugged. "If you were anything else, there would be jobs lined up for you, but..."

"That's specist."

"That's life."

"There has to be something else." Zelgadis shoved Tim out of the way and started hacking into the server.

"Hey! That's my - "

"That's life. AH! Here's one. I can apply for...a..."

"Police officer?"

"That's stupid."

"That's what's available. You want to be a stripper?"

"When do I start law enforcement?"

Zelgadis looked around the bunk he had to share with the rest of the police officers. He sighed. "Why do these things always happen to me?" He muttered, dumping his bags on the bunk. He sighed and started putting his things away.

"Hey, it's the new guy!" Came a voice from behind him. It had a slightly rough edge to it, as if to say, 'I'm the boss here, bow down to me.'

Great. Just what he needed.

"Hello, New Guy! I hear your name's Zelgadis!" A thug behind the bully snickered.

"Zeldagis? What a dumb name."

The bully hit the thug on the head. Zelgadis still hadn't acknowledged their presence. "Hey, now, don't be makin' fun of his name! He's new!" He leered. "Mmmm...looks like a cat demon to me. Now what's a stripper doing in the police force?"

Must...control...fist of death...

"Hey, he sure is pretty for a guy."

"All catties are." Zelgadis really hated that slang for his race, he really, really did... "Saaaay...I don't usually swing that way, but a pair of high heels and a bunny suit could make this one seem mighty - "

"Try it and die, asshole."

"What?" The bully put a hand to his ear mockingly. Zelgadis had said it softly, but it was loud enough to hear. "What was that you said?"

"Piss me off and they'll still be finding your pieces in china." He whispered, not taking his eyes off what he was doing, namely sharpening his dagger. "I'm not the kind of guy who takes this sort of nonsense seriously, you understand, but I just thought I'd warn you."

The bully drew himself up to his full height and flexed his muscles. "Oh? Oh really? Was that a threat?"

"If you don't take that as a threat you're stupider than I first determined. Which is a challenge."

"Why you - " The man didn't even have time to touch him. One moment Zel's fist was around his dagger, the next it had sent the man straight through the ceiling. Zelgadis sat back down and continued sharpening his dagger.

The rest of the group backed away slowly. Zelgadis put on his most charming smile.

"So! Was there anything you boys wanted?"

They grinned and shook their heads, staring at the ceiling, and, consequentially, the man smashed through it.

Zelgadis slammed his head down on the table. And pasted on a sickly sweet smile.

"Let me get this straight, sir. You're saying that you want to sue this giant because...?"

"He broke my house when he fell."

"And he fell because...?"

"I chopped down the beanstalk he was climbing down."

"Seems to me you're the one who should be sued..." Zelgadis tried to keep the polite smile on his face. "In fact, I really should arrest you right now."

"No! You see, he was chasing me!"

"Why was he chasing you?"

"No reason."

"No reason?"

"I only took a little something that was lying around."

"Which was?"

"A golden singing harp and a goose."

"Ah. I see. It makes perfect sense now."

"Oh, I'm glad."

"Herb! Another one to be thrown in stocks!" Zelgadis pulled a rope behind the desk and let the annoying little adolescent fall through a conveniently located hole. He leaned forward and massaged his temples.

"Oy! Zelly!"


The sergeant Tossed him a file. Zelgadis caught it and flipped it open.

Name: Lina Inverse
Nicknames: Cinderlina
Hair: Red
Eyes: Red
Build: Slender

Zelgadis stopped reading. "So...what?" He asked.

The sergeant shrugged. "Apparently her last happy ending got screwed up by some dipstick and they're trying to get her another one."


"So one of us has been told to watch her in case it happens again."


"So it's gonna have to be you."

"Riiiiight." Zelgadis slammed his head against the desk. "Always me. Why do I have to meet up with her again??"

Chapter 7   |   Fanfiction