Chapter 2

Zelgadis, succubus to Ju-ou Sama, destroyer of kingdoms and downfall of countless women, master of the seducing arts, hadn't had a lay in weeks.


The longest he'd gone in his entire existence had been three days, and by the end he was desperate for absolutely anybody. Absolutely anyone with a pulse. Or not. Pulse optional.

So you can imagine what he was like now. Actually, you're probably drooling and trying to force your way into the computer right now, if you're female. I bet you are, aren't you? You horny little...

Yeah, you can imagine what he was like, can't you? Dang, you have dirty fantasies...anyway, you're probably wrong. Zelgadis hadn't toppled anyone into bed in the past 20 days, 10 hours, three minutes and counting...

And to tell the truth, he'd never enjoyed himself quite as much. Well, other than a few times with VERY skilled young...

Anyway, he was having a great time. And that surprised him. He expected he would be going into withdrawal right now, but he wasn't.

Since he didn't have to play pack horse to Lina (the kind that carries packs, you pervert) he was getting along with the little fire imp, most of the time. This excludes the episode where he surprised her in the bath. He didn't come on to her too much, and she didn't grind his face into the dirt. It was a love-war relationship. She was quite intelligent, and the conversations with her were never really boring. Well, I suppose if you were stupid or didn't understand magic they might be, but he found them fascinating.

And, to tell the truth, he found her fascinating, too. She was really the first and only woman who'd ever done anything other than swoon into his arms the second he laid on the charm. True, some of the truly powerful ones, the ones who were expecting a seduction, were a bit less liberal, but he always got them in the end. Lina simply pounded him into the ground whenever he put the moves on her.

And yet, it wasn't as if she liked girls. She certainly didn't act like she wanted them when they were in towns. She didn't even glance at any of the females there, instead giving them rather contemptuous snorts whenever they looked sideways at her.

Why did they look sideways??? Do you want a list??

Okay. Here:

Reason #1. Most girls don't walk around with drop dead gorgeous guys wearing a king's ransom in jewelry but doesn't seem to have the cash left to buy a shirt.

Reason#2. Most times you don't see someone as gorgeous as Zelgadis walking around with a girl as young looking as Lina.

Reason #3. You don't see guys looking like Zelgadis, period, all that often, either.

Reason #4. Lina liked wearing leggings, boots, cape and sword. Yes, yes, and the tunic and stuff too, obviously, but I'm talking about the out of the ordinary stuff. No skirt, no bonnet, hair loose and untamed down her back instead of pinned up in tight curls or brushed to a shine.

Reason #5. Ever hear the "women should be seen and not heard" saying?

Hehehehehehe....what do you know of Lina so far?

"Look, you stupid old man, I don't care if you're not supposed to sell books to commoners, and I don't care if your wife is starving in Bulgaria. I want to buy this blank book, and I know to high heavens it's not )*&^ing worth a gold piece. Hell, I could make this for a penny, were I so inclined and had I the time. There is no way you're convincing me it's worth that price."

The man (hardly old, he was only 39) looked nervous. He really wasn't supposed to let commoners have books, reading was against the law. And when he finally gave in, he'd thought he'd make a really good deal off the girl. But she knew her stuff, and she was attracting stares. He really didn't need stares.

"Look, girl, it's illegal, you can't have it, go away." He turned to go inside.

"And if I don't?"

The man turned around. She wasn't serious. "What's a girl like you going to do? Sit and cry?"

Lina got a really evil look. The young man who had been standing there looking bored caught the gleam in her eyes and veeeeeery sloooowly backed away, making no sudden movements.

"I was hoping you'd say that. DIL BRANDO!!"

Lina grinned as she and Zelgadis ran from the city guards. "Whaddaya say, Zel? Should I fireball ‘em or toss a few freeze arrows?"

He swallowed hard and looked at the men aiming their crossbows. "I think you should run."

"Nah. Oh! I think the flare arrows will be fun." She spun and pointed. "FLARE ARROW!!"

Shafts of flame arced from her fingertips, striking the man chasing them types of their anatomy. Lina grinned as Zelgadis winced. Sometimes he really wished she had worse aim.

"So, Zel! Let's get a room in the next town, okay?" She said cheerfully, and started walking. After looking pitifully at the men, Zelgadis hurried afterwards.

Zelgadis lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. Truth, he had been having a good time. running around being a general nuisance to people was a lot more fun than trying to keep power by going to bed with people that made his stomach squirm just to look at.

But he did miss it... a little bit...

Okay, a lot. To know how he feels, imagine you just got to a summer cottage on a small lake. Yes, it's beautiful, yes it's fun, yes, it's wonderful to be there....but it has no TV. And you can't watch anime.

Also, that was his main source of sustenance. Mazoku feed off of feelings. What the heck would a succubus feed off of? Hmmm?

So yeah, he was hungry. And...well...other things.

Hmmmmm ...

"What's wrong with you, Zel?" Lina rolled over on her bed to look at Zel laying facing the ceiling on his. Ah...she'd notice he was lying awake.

He didn't think to wonder why she was lying awake, also.

"Oh, nothing."

"Really?" She sounded genuinely worried.

He rolled over and grinned at her provocatively. "Nothing a lovely lady like yourself couldn't fi - OW!!"

Lina glared at him as he removed the lamp from his forehead. "Hey!! You've gone almost two weeks without acting like a rabbit in heat, why do you have to start now???"

Zelgadis lost it.

"But I'm huuuungryyyyy!!!" He yelled at the ceiling. "I haven't gotten laid in three weeks and I'm starving! Do you know how taxing this is on me? What's wrong with you, anyway? You're so sexually repressed I'm surprised you can look at a guy without edging away for fear of cooties!!"

Lina looked indignant. "Look, I'm sorry of you haven't been able to feed, but that's not my problem. Go boff one of the prostitutes downstairs, why don't you? AND, I'm not going have my powers stunted just cuz some stupid incubus wanted a meal, okay?" She rolled over.

Zelgadis shuddered visibly. "One of those girls? The food here is doubtful enough, I don't even want to guess where the girls have been."

"Oh well."


"You are such a horny animal. Go to sleep."

"If you'd - "


Zelgadis rolled over and sulked.

Lina rolled over and seethed.

Neither of them really got any sleep that night because of it.

NO!! Not because of THAT!! Because they were sulking and/or seething!!! You friggin' pervert!!!! Some people,'re all fangirls!! All of you!!! for you fanboys, of course... Umm... oops... I'll... just go now, shall I?

Hmmm. Did you know that the hummingbird has to constantly eat so it's wings can beat fast enough to hold it in the air? Or that a cat can -

XELLOS!! Get away from my computer!!!!

Honestly, I don't know why I even try....

Chapter 3   |   Fanfiction