Money is everything.
Everything that isn't money is food.
Everything that isn't money or food are travelling companions who you can't seem to shake.
Beware spells that involve pledging yourself to darkness.
Eat chicken when you see it, preferably before it turns into a giant demon.
Never judge people by appearances.
Demon Lords have a habit of singing in badly-accented English.
The friendlier a person acts, the more likely they want something from you.
Never trust someone who always smiles.
Never trust someone who always scowls.
Never trust, period.
Beware villians who wear white; they're more dangerous than the average villain.
Break masks on sight.
Never, ever make a pledge with something with glowing red eyes.
Purple eyes are dangerous too.
When someone refers to themselves as 'mysterious', prepare for battle.
Techno music is good.
Just because it looks like a giant dumb lizard doesn't mean it doesn't understand what you're saying.
People who keep their eyes closed are hiding something.
Secrets are meant to be shaken out of a person.
A garter can be strong enough to hold an incredably heavy mace, whatever physics say.
Demons are really just a fun-loving race at heart.
Make sure you understand what 'fun' means to different people before making decisions on what to do.
Nothing is as small as it looks, especially if it exists on more than one plane.
Plane does not equal airplane.
Sealed Demon Lords make great paper weights.
The bad guys are nasty.
The good guys are just as nasty as the bad guys.
Little kids are some of the most dangerous creatures in the world.
Blonde women are even more dangerous than little kids.
Attack the enemy while they are making their cheesy speech.
Insulting a girl's chest size is punishable by death.
Insulting a girl's height is punishable by death.
Aw, hell, if a girl doesn't like it, it's probably punishable by death.
There's no such thing as overkill.
Property damage is okay, as long as it isn't your property.
Being the enemy of all who live isn't necessarily a bad thing.
Light is a cutting technology.
Distructive potential is inversly proportional to height.
Simple doesn't mean stupid.
Blind men can still draw perfectly symmetrical magic circles.
However, they have no sense of decor.
Be careful of what you say to short redheads.
World domination is overrated.
Tying someone to the bed isn't always kinky; sometimes, it's self-defence.
People who don't keep their hands to themselves deserve to have their head smashed in.
Obession is a perfectly reasonable reason to exist.
For some reason, guys have a tendancy to look better in dresses than girls do.
Never skinny-dip in the Demon Ocean.
Just because a name like 'Grausherra' looks like you need a mouthful of phlegm to pronouce it doesn't mean that it doesn't sound nice.
Never, EVER ask, "Did we get him?" because if you do, you haven't.
Jellyfish are cute.
Pacifists aren't.
It's perfectly acceptable to leave places you pass as smoking craters.
It is NOT acceptable to be confronted about leaving places you pass as smoking craters.
The ultimate enemy of the universe looks like a giant lobster.
Dubbing is sin.
Abnormal isn't.
It's never your fault, even if it is.
Blue spandex and armour don't go together.
Philbrezo is a jerk.
Never tell him this.
Sometimes the ugliest Demon Lords are the nicest ones.
'Nice' is relative.
For some reason, people can breathe in crystals, under water, and even in outer space.
Stainless steel hair is a benefit. Really.
Waitresses are damn frightening.
If it's a powerful item, it's yours, even if it isn't.
It's not stealing if you take it from someone who stole it.
People who contain a part of a Demon Lord can be recognized by their habit of wearing giant shoulder pads.
Stone burns, especially if it's a stone person.
Clothes can stay completely undamaged through months of travel, hard work, and fireballs.
Punish a person before threatening them. That way they'll know you're serious.
The annoyingness of a person's laugh is directly proportional to the amount of clothes they wear.
When in doubt, it's a secret, even if everyone knows it already.
Never, EVER disobey your big sister.
People who want to 'be the talk of the world' usually don't like what is said about them.
Aerobics are only useful while making speeches.
The quieter a person is, the more likely they are to get you killed.
Never assume, especially when dealing with a person's gender.
Just because someone's dead doesn't mean you won't have to fight them again.
Make your friends pay for your meals.
If it's edible, eat it. If it isn't, check twice to make sure anyway.
Morality is almost as relative as 'niceness'.
Bodybuilders are creepy.
Possession is fun! Really! You can get away with all kinds of things, like jumping your best friend and blasting the hell out of a Demon Lord.
Sometimes you just have to face it; skin conditions are incurable.
By the time a war has lasted hundreds of thousands of years, neither side can remember why they started fighting in the first place. That doesn't mean they'll stop.
Tapes that break before you watch them suck.
Wolves come in packs. Remember this. It will eventually be important.
Always have a fine line you will never cross. Move it around now and then just to confuse people.
People understand demonstrations better than descriptions. If they protest the demonstration, point this out to them.
Just because two people are deadly enemies doesn't mean they won't both have similar interests... like drinking tea or using the good guys as pawns.
Theme songs are fun to sing along to at the top of your lungs, especially if there's someone asleep in the house.
Genki people are suspicious.