I jotted this down about a month ago, during that whole Slayers/WOT debate, but never actaully got around to posting it. I MIGHT continue this sometime in the future, but since I have currently five fics I'm supposed to be writing and three more bouncing around in my head, don't wait up.
Why am I posting this if I'm not going to continue? Welll.... er,um.... OKAY!!! I ADMIT IT!!!!! I'M A SAD, LONELY LITTLE MAN DESPERATE FOR ATTENTION!!!!!!! THERE!!!!!! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW, YOU BASTARDS?????
This intoduction inspired by massive amounts of Easter candy.
The dust had settled, the smoke had cleared, and the last indecently sized tac-nuke comparable spells had been cast. Where once there had been a lush, verdant plain nestled snugly into a vale below some pristine snowy mountains, there was now a charred crater littered with monster corpses and smelling vaguely like a barbecue rib joint that had just met an untimely end.
So of course, this was the perfect dramatic moment for four people wearing hero-esque costumes to come strolling up over the craters edge.
"Mmmm.... barbecue ribs...." drooled Lina, sniffing the air. "I could sure go for some of those right now..."
"You and me both," said Gourry, patting out the small Dragon Slave-related fires that had sprung up around his clothing. "Boy," he commented mildly as he surveyed the carnage, "I've never seen Orcs do that before. How bout you, Zel?"
"No. Never." Commented the stoic shaman. "It was completely inexplicable. Orcs NEVER come this far from their mountain strongholds, and never during the daylight."
"Feh! What does that matter?" said a certain justice-inspired princess. "We have once more vanquished the forces of darness and helped bring peace and justice to the world! As it was, as it is, as it ever shall be, we will right wrongs and- UMMMPPFFF!!!!!"
"Come to think of it, Zel," said Lina, rather nonchalantly containing Amelia within a headlock, "You're right. Orcs DON'T behave that way. And this band wasn't after plunder like they usually are; it was more like they were searching for something."
"AAHHHH!!!! OOMPHHHH!!!" Further disussions about orcish motivations would have to wait, as Gourry had chosen that moment to fall to the ground and start thrashing about like a madman.
"Ummm.... Gourry?" said Zelgadis. "Are you having some kind of fit? Is this a medical problem we should know about?"
"GET IT OFF!!!!! GET IT OFF!!! IT'S BITING ME!!!" yelled Gourry as his hands grappled with something unseen. A set of small teethmarks appeared on his armor. There was an inhuman hiss, low and gutteral, and suddenly Amelia was torn from Lina's headlock and collapsed in a thrashing pile of her own.
"EEEK! Zelgadis-sama!!! Lina-san!!!! HELP!!!!"
Lina and Zelgadis took a moment to confer.
"Invisiblity spell?" said Lina.
"Most likely." replied Zelgadis. Bending down to retrieve handful of dust, he threw it at the struggling Amelia. Beyond dirtying up her pretty white costume, the dust draped itself across a small, bedraggled form grappling with Amelia. Letting out a growl it tore itself free and lept at Lina.
Lina did the only thing prudent.
"FIREBALL!!!"
With a forelorn wail, the whatever-it-was simply evaporated as soon as the flame engulfed it.
ting ting
What appered to be a tiny gold ring fell out of the fireball and bounced twice on the ground. It rolled a bit on it's side before tipping over and coming to a rest beside a still-groundbound Gourry, who, being naturally attracted to bright shiny objects, picked it up.
He immediatly wished he hadn't. When metal meets flame, it tends to absorb the heat rather quickly.
"YOW!!!" Gourry tossed the ring and began sucking on his fingers. Lina, who's costume conveniently included gloves, snagged it in midair.
"Neh... check this thing out!" Lina peered closely at the ring, holding it up to catch the sunlight. "I wonder how come it didn't melt when I blasted it?"
Being the impulsive type, she immediatly slipped the thing on.
And promptly vanished.
"Eh? Lina? Where'd you go?" said a most disoriented Gourry.
"Wow!!! An invisibility ring! No wonder we couldn't see that weird creature thingy!!" Lina popped back into view, and once more began examining her new toy. "It looks like it's got some kind of writing on it...." frowning, she peered closer. "I can't read the lingo."
"Here, allow me." Zelgadis proffered a hand. Shrugging, Lina pressed the ring into it, noting that his rock skin didn't seem to notice the heat.
Zelgadis held it up to his eye. "It appears to be an ancient orcish dialect. Fairly rare, and not much used now. A leftover from their glory days. Maybe this is what they were looking for," he said in an ofhand way.
"Enough with the history lesson, can you read it?" Lina said pointedly.
Zel nodded. "Loosely translated, it goes something like this:
"One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,"
"One Ring to bring them all and in the Darkness bind them."
There was silence among the group for a moment.
"Boy," said Amelia, "That sure sounded ominous."
I'm an evil, evil man. Hopefully, Tolkien's ghost won't come to me tonight and strangle me with my own bedsheets.