Part 3


Zelos: 'Lina Red Ridding Hood stood with Zelgadis the wolf-chimera while Gourry the Hunter knocked on the lovely door of Martina the Witche's house. They waited a moment when the door finally opened.'

Gourry: 'Ahhh!' He lept behind Lina and hid. She looked disguested and then smiled at Martina.

Martina: 'What's with blondy there? What do you all want?'

Lina: 'We're here to see if you can help this friend of ours. As for this jellyfish for brains ...' She boots Gourry back out to face Martina.

Gourry: 'AHH! She's so ugly! Take it away! I thought Lina was bad... but THIS ... !!'

Zelgadis leanded against the door, waiting till the two women were done beating the living crap out of the Hunter. After the tiny ball of blue cloth and flesh had been kicked into a ditch, the two joined Zelgadis.

Martina: 'So, what's up?'

Lina: 'Well, my friend here, Zelgadis the wolf-chimera, wants to get out of this wolf suite, but I can't undo the spell on the zipper.'

Martina: 'Ohh ... doozy of a spell. Who did that, huh?'

Zelgadis: 'I used to work for this blind sorcerer, and when I wouldn't do his dirty work anymore ...' He shrugged. 'I tried to sneak away, but he found out and made it so that I couldn't get out of my disquise ...'

Martina: 'You weren't BORN with that hunky blue skin were you?'

Zelgadis: Edging behind Lina. 'Uhh ... No. He changed me into a chimera when I was younger ... Why?'

Martina: 'Gee ... You must have been one HUNKY guy before you got turned into a smurf ...'

Zelgadis: 'SMURF!?!?!'

Zelos: 'Now THAT was interesting... Not in the script, but cute ...' He ducked the flare arrows without even glancing at the enraged wolf-chimera. 'I'll have to remember that.' He penned in something on the script again.

Lina: 'ANYWAY ... can you help him, Martin the Witch?'

Martina: Eyeing him and smiling. 'Well, I MIGHT want to help ... but only if you three will do me a favor first.'

Zelgadis: 'What KIND of ... favor?'

Martina: Turning her keen eye on Gourry as he walks back up, rubbing his head. 'That nasty blind sorcerer, Rezo, stole some herbs that I needed for a spell to give me my beauty back. Now that they're gone, I'll need a substitute. You will go get it for me.'

Lina: 'Sure. What do you need?'

Gourry: 'Anything, if it'll fix your face!'

Zelgadis waited again, starting to count the leaves on the nearby tree as, yet again, the Hunter had the crap beaten out of him.

Martina: 'A pink bow off the tail of a living Ryuzoku.'

Lina&Zelgadis: 'A WHAT?!'

Martina: 'Have fun. But I have to have it today. See you around.'


Lina Red Ridding Hood glared at the hansom Hunter. Out of all of them, he was the only one whistleing and actually enjoying the afternoon.

Zelgadis: 'Forget it, Lina. He dosen't get it. I'll bet he dosen't even know what a Ryuzoku IS.'

Gourry: 'Sure I do.'

Zelos: 'Both Lina Red Ridding Hood and Zelgadis the wolf-chimera turned in shock to stare at the Hunter. They both were struck dumb as the idiot continued.'

Gourry: Glancing up at Zelos with a hurt look. 'What did he call me?'

Zelos: 'WOULD YOU GET ON WITH IT?!'

Gourry: 'AHH! OKAY OKAY!' He hid behind Lina who tried to count to ten, but didn't quite make it to two and then kicked him into orbit. Zelos glared at her, cast a spell, and had Gourry hurtling back to land head first on the rocky ground. Zelgadis sighed and waited.

Gourry: 'Ouch ... Anyway ... what did you ask?'

Zelos&Lina: 'WHAT IS A RYUZOKU?!'

Gourry: Scratching the back of his head. 'Geeze, I thought everyone knew ... It's a dragon.'

Lina: 'Okay, so if jellyfish for brains knew that ... There MUST still be at least ONE around ...'

Zelgadis: 'What kind of self-respecting Ryuzoku would wear a BOW on it's tail? That's just plain stup-'

Zelos: 'At just that moment, the pair of princes and Cinder-Felia rode up. Both parties looked equally surprised to see each other.'

Cinder-Felia: 'Oh dear! LOOK at that horrible BEAST!'

Zelgadis: 'Watch who you're calling horrible, kid.'

Valgarv: Dismounting and drawing his sword. 'I can't have you speaking to my bride to be in such a manner. Prepar to die, curr.'

Zelos: 'But Zelgadis the wolf-chimera, after sparing his sword a quick glance, completely ignored the angry Prince and watched as the other two dismounted as well. Prince Valgarv, now even more annoyed because the odd creature was ignoring him, lept forward, intent on driving his sword throught it.'

Lina: 'Baka ...'

Zelos: 'Shhh! I'm not done yet!'

Lina: Rolling her eyes. 'Whatever.'

Zelos: Cough. 'Right, where was I? Oh, here. The loud snap of steal breaking turned everyone's head. Prince Valgarv stood staring down at the hilt of his now broken sword, a look of wonder on his face. Zelgadis the wolf-chimera blinked, smiled, and then shrugged.'

Zelgadis: 'Part golem ... Nice try. Anyone else while we're standing here?'

Valgarv: 'What in the world ARE you?! Who are you people?!'


Zelos: 'High above them, Amelia-punzle was standing at her window, looking very unhappy. She could see lots of people down below, but none of them seemed to be trying to find a way to get her down.'

Amelia: 'Mister, would YOU get me down?'

Zelos: 'Not on your life! Uhh ... I mean, that's not part of the script. Bye-bye.'

Amelia: 'HEY! WAIT! THAT'S NOT FAIR!'


Zelos: 'Far below, Lina was just finishing explaining to the two Princes that they weren't really monsters, but normal travlers when something made her stop mid word. Her mouth dropped open and her eyes bugged out. Following her look, Zelgadis and Prince Sangalus also started to stare. Prince Valgarv turned in time to see Cinder-Felia start to scream. Gourry the Hunter crouched behind her, lifting the hem of her dress up, a look of innocent surprise on his face.'

Cinder-Felia: 'AHHH!!! HENTAI!'

Valgarv: 'GRRR....! ECCHI!'

Zelos: Wincing and glancing away from the ensuing scene. 'And so, the ever loving crap was yet again beaten out of the Hunter. Lina Red Ridding Hood obviously didn't think that a simple beating was enough for the perverted Hunter.'

Lina: 'You ... you ... HOW COULD YOU?!'

Zelgadis: 'Hum ... You sound like you care...'

Lina: 'SHUT UP! I'll teach you! Darkness beyond twilight, crimson beyond blood that flows ...'

Zelgadis: 'Oh, SH**! DUCK AND RUN!'

Zelos: Sitting confortably in a tree behind Lina. 'And so the group split and lept for cover, scrambling to get away from the spell of the little red hooded girl, all save the twitching assortment of body parts that was the Hunter.'

Lina: 'Buried in the flow of time. I summon thee. I pledge myself to thee. Let all the fools who stand in our way be destroyed by the power you and I possess! DRAGON SLAVE!'

Zelos: Inpervous to the explosion of power. 'And so Lina Red Ridding Hood cast the awesome Dragon Slave, destroying most of the area around her. When the smoke cleared, the twitching burnt-to-a-crisp body of the Hunter was all that remaind before the young red hooded girl.'

Lina: 'THAT should teach you ...'

Zelgadis: Coming up behind her. 'Uhh ... wasn't that a BIT strong?'

Lina: 'Who cares? There's nothing else around here, anyway.'

Zelos: Little did they know, but Lina Red Ridding Hood's spell had destoyed the bottom of the tower in which Amelia-punzle had been trapped in. She looked below her, saw empty sky, and started screaming even before she started falling.'

Amelia: 'AHH! HELP ME! HELP ME! I'M GOING TO DIE! AHHH!!!!'

Zelos: Tapping his ear pluggs and looking very pleased. 'Far below, Cinder-Felia was hanging onto Prince Valgarv's arm, glaring at the twitching form of the Hunter, while Prince Sangalus and Lina Red Ridding Hood discussed reasons for the idiot's indescretion. Zelgadis the wolf-chimera glanced around, then looked up intime to see the face of a screaming girl before he was flattened beneath her.'

Zelgadis: 'What the- AUK!'

Amelia: 'OWIE! That HURT!'

Zelos: 'The group stood there, staring at the girl as she brushed herself off. She stood up and raised her fists triumphantly, starting off on a new speach.'

Amelia: 'Ah! Justice has finally been seen to, as the beautiful Princess Amelia-punzle is freed from her horried capture. Justice demanded that she be free as a bird in the sky, and now a brave and hansom prince has finally rescued her!'

Zelos: 'When did I ever call you a princess?'

Amelia: 'Uhh ... haha ... Who cares?'

Lina: 'Uhh ... Just who are you?'

Amelia: 'Why me? I am the delicute beauty who's been trapped all my life in that horrible tower, Amelia-punzle!'


Part 4   |   Fanfiction