Zelos: 'And so, the group of mismatched travelers came face to face with Shabranigodo, the Ruby eyed Giant who lived at the top of the beanstalk.'
Shabby: 'Zelos, scram.'
Zelos: 'Sir, might I point out that you're supposed to be following the script.'
Shabby: 'I don't like the script. In fact, I already destroyed it.'
Zelos: Teardrop. 'Sir, here's another. Would you mind terribly just playing along here ... Please?'
Lina: 'Wow ... He asked ... It's a first!'
Zelos: 'Watch it midget, or I'll add a love scene for you and blondie over there.'
Lina: Turning as red as her hood and glaring. 'Low blow, fruitcake.'
Shabby: 'Fine, give that thing to me. I have a feeling that you planned this with someone else, fruit.'
Zelos: 'Now sir, why would I do that to my favorite piece of Shabranigodo?'
Shabby: 'Flattery will get you nowhere, twisted mazoku. Oh, and I'll tell the other six you said that.'
Zelos: Turning away, grinning. 'Suuuure you will. Let's just get on with this.(cough) Shabranigodo the Giant laughed at the puny mortals below him, his vast strength apparent to even the most ignorant of them, and narrowed his glittering ruby eyes that struck terror into their insignificant hearts.'
Zelgadis: Aside to Valgarv. 'He's laying it on thick, isn't he?'
Valgarv: Teardrops on his head. 'I've never seen any man, mazoku or human, kiss butt like he just finished doing ...
Gourry: 'Uhh ... Lina, this is really bad, isn't it?'
Lina: 'YES Gourry ... This is REALLY bad!'
Felia: 'Valgarv, are we going to help them?'
Valgarv: Glancing at his script. 'Nope. We get to stand to one side and make nasty comments about whoever's losing, since we're too powerful to make this scene the kind of thrilling ending the writer wants.'
Felia: 'Oh.'
Martina: 'Uhh ... I'm staying out of this one too. While big an' gruesome up there reads up on the script, I'm going to go and take the Harp back and hide it. See you.'
Zelos: 'Well ... I suppose you wouldn't do anything worthwhile anyway. Get back here in time for the final scene, would you?'
Martina: 'My, cutie here is actually ASKING!'
Zelos: Punting Martina away. 'Hehe. Enough of that. Lina Red Ridding Hood stood by Gourry the Hunter and Zelgadis the wolf-chimera, her look one of thoughtfulness.'
Lina: 'Am I finally going to get to pound something?'
Gourry: 'What have you been doing to me?!'
Zelgadis: 'Gourry, don't push it. If you WANT to die, go kick the big guy over there and get stepped on.'
Amelia: 'Oh, you're SOOO smart, Zel-chan!'
Zelgadis: 'And take THAT with you!'
Shabby: 'What's this? "Fei fie fo fam, I smell the blood of a little blind man?!" Who thought of this?! It's a load of crap! How's this: Get ready mortals, for I, Shabranigodo, am here to destroy you!'
Zelos: Sighs. 'Whatever you say, sir.' Turns away grinning. 'You'll wish you hadn't said that ...'
Shabby: 'What was that, Zelos?'
Zelos: 'They'll wish they'd never started this, sir.'
Shabby: 'Humm ...'
Lina: 'Look, I'm not going to just sit here and watch as that fruitcake kisses that thing's butt all day! Gourry, give me that blasted sword!'
Gourry: 'But LINA! I can't do that! It's a family treasure!'
Zelgadis: 'Fine, LEND it to her. She'll give it back.'
Zelos: 'Would you four just calm down. Okay, Shabranigodo advanced upon the puny mortals and laughed as they sought to kill him with their pathetic spells.'
Lina: 'We're actually trying to stop him with little magic??'
Gourry: 'Ahh! Nothing's going to stop him! HE'S GOING TO STEP ON ME!!!'
Zelgadis: Standing calmly, his arm around Amelia's shoulders, who looks like she's about to faint. 'Nope. I know the ONE thing that's going to be the hole in his defensive magic.'
Amelia: 'Oh ZEL-CHAN! You know everything!' She grins up at him as he glances down.
Lina: Looking a bit ill to her stomach. 'Oh, and what would that be, Zelgadis?'
Zelgadis: 'This.' He leans down and picks Amelia up, holds her easily over his head as she starts to protest, then hurls her with all his might at the giant red form.
Amelia: 'YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!'
Shabby: 'What the-?!?!'
Zelos: 'Ohh ... He really IS cruel! I LIKE HIM!'
Lina: Teardrop. 'Oh ... Figures. Okay, now what?'
Zelgadis: Edging as far away from Zelos as he can. 'Just sit and watch for our chance.'
Valgarv: Aside to Felia. 'That was a cruel move. Even for Shabranigodo.'
Felia: 'Not even HE deserves THAT ...'
Zelos: 'Amelia-punzle landed on the giant's arm and clung on for dear life, screaming and lecturing until even the great Giant Shabranigodo was frantic to get away.'
Lina: 'Great! THIS is were I come in! Gourry, gimme that sword!'
Gourry: 'But LINA!'
Lina: Don't worry about it, you 'll get it back. Now, this is something I never saw my sis do, which means if I can pull if off, I'll finally have SOMETHING over her!'
Shabby: 'ZELOS! GET THIS THING OFF OF ME! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!?!'
Zelos: 'Me? I'm not here. I'm the narrator. Sorry sir, can't help. Gotta follow the script. Hehehe.'
Lina: 'Take this, you big bully! Darkness beyond night, blackness beyond deepest pitch. Lord of Nightmares, who shines like gold on the seas of Chaos. I call upon thee, swear myself to thee. In thy great name I pledge myself to darkness. Let all those who stand before me be destroyed by the power you and I possess!'
Zelgadis: 'Gourry, GET DOWN!'
Gourry: 'What's she doing to my SWORD!?!' His wail is cut short as Zelgadis grabs him and shoves him behind the ruins of the tower.
Shabby: 'Oh sh-'
Lina: 'GIGA SLAVE!'
Shabby: 'I'M NOT DYING LIKE THIS!'
Rezo: 'MARTINA!'
Martina: Appearing by his side, adoring eyes on him. He draws back, a look of disgust on his face and then holds out his hand. 'What?'
Rezo: 'Give me that harp.'
Martina: 'Why?'
Zelos: 'Rezo the Red Mage (yes, cutie there get's a new title now, he's not blind anymore ...) remembered that he could freeze the giant by plucking the golden string.'
Rezo: 'The fruitcake there just told us. Gimme that harp. Now.' He plucks the string and winces. 'It's out of tune.'
Zelos: 'That's why it freezes him.'
Rezo: '..............'
Zelos: 'And so, Shabranigodo froze, turning towards the sound of the plucked string. The blast of the Giga Slave struck with full force, but still the giant resisted.'
Shabby: 'ZELOS! I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS! I STILL HAVE SIX MORE PIECES!'
Zelos: 'Whatever you say, sir. Have a nice day, sir. HEheheheh!'
Shabby: 'YOU FRUITCA--'
Zelos: 'And so the desperate spell of Lina Red Ridding Hood won out over the horrible giant, saving the kingdom. UNFORTUNATELY, it only saved it from the GIANT ... the spell itself ended up destroying not only Prince Valgarv's castle, but most of the land around it.'
Valgarv: A look of disbelief on his face. 'You've GOT to be kidding me! MY CASTLE!'
Felia: Wailing. 'MY NEW HOME!'
Sangulas: GOURRY! GET BACK HERE AND FIGHT LIKE A MAN!'
Gourry: 'LINA!! GIVE ME BACK MY SWORD!'
Lina: Hiding behind Zelgadis. 'Say, Zelgadis, what's this?' She reaches up and pulls a zipper down.
Zelgadis: 'You did it!' He looked up smiling, then froze as he noticed everyone frozen, staring at him. Sangulas, Gourry, and Valgarv all looked horrified. Lina was bright red, Martina was giggling like mad and the tiny burnt remains of Amelia fell back over. Zelos sat grinning like an idiot. Only Rezo seemed totally unconcerned.
Zelos: Still trying to stop giggling. 'Zelgadis the chimera was finally free of the horrid wolf suite, but he had forgotten that that was all he had been wearing.'
Zelgadis: 'ACK!' Grabs back up the suite and hiding behind Rezo who looks back at him in disgust.
Rezo: 'That's pathetic. Here, use one of my numerous layers of cloaks.' He hands him one of his robes and grumbles about having changed him (or at least being around when he was being changed) when he was a baby and that he didn't care one way or the other.
Zelos: 'Hehehe. I added that part. It just made this ending much more fun!'
Lina: 'H ... h ... hentai.' Looks around as Martina reappears, minus the witches nose. 'Oh, what happened to you?'
Martina: 'Oh, I just broke the enchantment keeping me ugly.'
Gourry: 'Really? When's it going to wear off?'
Valgarv: Motioning to the dust cloud of arms and legs as Martina was whooping Gourry yet AGAIN and shrugged to his brother. 'If you REALLY want to fight him, you'll have to get in line. As for me, I'm bored with this whole deal. Felia and I are going to do the 'ride off into the sunset' type deal now. Anyone else coming?'
Amelia: Leaping up, totally rejuvenated. 'Zel-chan and I will!'
Lina&Zelgadis: 'DREAM ON!' They, together, punt her into orbit.
Zelos: 'Ohh ... that was cute. In unison. Anyway, to warp this all up, I'll tell you what happens to each.'
Sangulas: 'About time. So, do I beat Gourry?'
Zelos: 'Oh, not exactly. Okay, here I go.'
Valgarv: 'We're jumping for joy. Move it, fruit.'
Zelos: 'And so the group ended their tale where it began, in the woods. Lina Red Ridding Hood went off with Zelgadis the Chimera to find her sister. As it turned out, Luna told her that she had to find the money to pay the bills herself and so she and Zelgadis went even further way, beating up bad people and taking their money. Prince Valgarv and Cinder-Felia did ride away into the sunset, and then got married. (Stop making faces at me, Cinder-Felia or I'll add kids.) They decided to go and try to find more of their kind, and so left the kingdom to Prince Sangulas. Prince Sangulas was still obsessed with beating Gourry the Hunter, and so dragged him back to live in the palace. Rumors circulated and people soon had other ideas of their relationship. (No Gourry, I'm NOT going to explain. Ask Sangulas.) This was, of course, and annoyance to the King and Queen, but they didn't say much. Rezo the Red Mage went off on his own, determined to find a way to get to the narrator and- (Very funny Rezo, but it's not what you think.) THANK him for helping him regain his sight. In fact, he also wished to find out if he could stay around, seeing as he had gotten very fond of the mysterious man. (What's wrong Rezo-chan, you look ill ...) As for Martina the Witch ... Now that she had broken the spell, she sold her house, used the money and moved into a large city were she set up a cosmetics shop and tried to catch some idiot to marry her. (What Martina? You haven't even done THAT yet, have you?)
Amelia: Still sailing through the air. 'What about me??'
Zelos: 'Oh yea, you ... Amelia-punzle sailed through the air and finally landed up in the cloud kingdom that had once held Shabranigodo. She soon found out that everything was WAY too large for her and tried to find a way back down to find her handsome Chimera. (What Zelgadis? I think you're hansom, so why shouldn't she? Now what's wrong?) She soon discovered that Rezo had seen her go up there and immediately destroyed the beanstalk, getting a large reward from the kingdom, a thank you note from Martina, and a grudging thanks from Zelgadis.'
Lina: 'That's it??'
Zelos: Closing the script. 'Well, Farie-god sorcerers don't get happily-ever-after endings ... They've got to get back to doing whatever Farie-god people do.' He grins wickedly.
Brumagan: ' ............. I'm leaving.'
Zelos: 'Okay, that's it! Hope you all had fun!'
All: 'GET HIM!'
Zelos: 'Humm ... I think this is where the narrator leaves. Sayanora!' He vanishes as a group of spells converge on his previous location.
Zelos: Reappearing behind them and pulling them all into a group hug. 'THE END!'
Zelos: Appearing in a small dark room where there sits a single desk. On it there sits a large pile of paper, a lamp, and a small figure bent over a type writer. He walks up and bows low, presenting the script. 'All done, M'lord. It was great fun.
Figure: 'I bet it was, you fruitcake. Say, was Shabby pleased?'
Zelos: Grinning. 'Oh, I'd say so. He made quite a bang.'
Figure: 'Heard all that kissing up. You're pathetic.'
Zelos: 'Oh, I try M'lord. What's next?'
Figure: 'Humm ... I dunno. What do you think I should do to them this time? Was Valgarv amused?'
Zelos: 'I loved the looks on his cute lil face.'
Figure: 'You really are a fruitcake. Maybe I'll play around with him and that Lina girl. Yes, since she used that spell AGAIN, I suppose I have every right.'
Zelos: Bowing. 'Of course you do, grand script writer, Nightmare Lord. Indeed you do.'
Nightmare Lord: 'Mwahahahhahhahah!'