I hate myself.
Not surprising I guess. After all, who can trully like themselves when they are filled with self-loathing, and disgust? But I don't dispise myself, I hate myself. I hate everything about me, everything I do; everything. I'm a coward, and a terrible leader. My people....once...oh once we were the veritable Gods of the sky. Our numbers were plentiful and none dared to stand before us. I remember that time, few now do. Few can remember our reign and few can trully feel the ache and pain at seeing our once proud race so cowed and submissive. Once we flew over the entire world, and now...now we hide within our valley and ignore the outside world. By Ceipheed, what an old fool I am. Lost in the past and yearning for days of old that are long gone and turned to dust. What a fool... Yes, I hate myself, but I also hate him. Xellos Metallium. The Beast Priest, the murderer of my race. With one spell he nearly wiped out my entire race. That day, that terrible day, still haunts me even to this day. I dream about it, or I should say I have nightmares about it and it's like I'm back there again. The air is filled with the screams of terror and pain as my people, my friends and my own family died. I tried to heal them, but I wasn't strong enough, I've never been strong enough. Not as a healer, not as a dragon, and not as a leader. I hear the younger warriors whisper amoung themselves when they think I cannot hear.
"There goes Milgazia the Cursed." Or maybe "All bow before Milgazia the Weak." I hear them, I hear their harsh words, their snide remarks. But I also hear their calls for battle, their pleadings to fight. And when Xellos appeared again with those remarkable humans, their thousand year-old hatred was fanned into flames. So many of them wanted to attack that devil, I wanted to attack him. I wanted to rip him apart with my own talons, but I didn't. The well-being of my people comes before my own personal wishes. That was one thing my father taught me, but then, he is probably rolling in his grave at the sight of me now. Sure, I put up a tolken resisitance to the Mazoku's demands, my pride demanded as much. But the moment the wolf bared his fangs, I capitulated like the sheep I am. Some good came out of that experience at least. I got to meet that amusing human girl, Lina Inverse. She's an interesting person, and to be honest, I admire her deeply. Few would unflinchingly face the fate set before her, I myself doubt I could. But then it's an established fact that I am a coward...But no, all things aside, I liked Lina Inverse, despite the fact that she travels with Xellos. And she taught me something, she taught me to live, something I hadn't done for a while. Sure, I had existed, I eat, I slept, but I hadn't lived. And when Aqua-sama and I faced off against Garv, I drew from that lesson and thus gained the confidence to stand up against the Chaos-Dragon. So yes, I hate myself, but I've decided that I can and will live with myself. And maybe someday, just maybe I'll actually like myslef again. Maybe...