Me: Well I am absolutely sure I'm gonna go bankrupt. Hey Rezo!! Oh Rezo~! (He floats over, still with a halo hanging over head.)
Rezo: Yes?
Me: I was wondering, since you are the wise Red Priest....Would you like to play chess with me sometime? I'd like to match wits. What do you say?
Xellos (popping up from out of nowhere): Whaat? You don't want to play chess with me? I'm stricken down with saddness! (He pretends to cry.)
Me: Well...the truth is I can actually expect more of a fair fight with him than you. By the way, that's the best acting you've done in all the scenes we've done. (Xellos blows a raspberry at her.)
Rezo: I'd be delighted to play a game, if you'll excuse me I should be getting ready for this scene.. (He leaves.)
Me: He's right you know. We should be getting ready for today's scenes. (She looks in her bag) Kripes!! Where'd it go!?! (She dumps out everything in her bag and Xellos is astonished by the amount of junk that fell out. Think Mary Poppins.) Do you know where it is Xellos?!
Xellos: Where what is?
Me: The script you fool! I can't find it anywhere! Bloody knave!
Xellos: I don't know where it is..ooh you're starting to talk shakespearean insults!
Me: I can't do a thing without the script! Okay... (She gets a huge megaphone out.) EVERYONE DRAG YOUR BUTT OVER HERE! I'VE GOT AN ANNOUCEMENT TO MAKE!!!! (The entire cast and crew gather round the impaitent director) It has come to my attention that my script is missing. I don't have cue cards to help out in your dialogue. Furthermore, I know that most of you threw away your scripts so I don't know what I'm gonna do...Lina! (She points to Lina) You're in Friar Lawrence's cell and...I'll take from there..Rezo! (She points to Rezo) You're in the cell, obviously, but follow my lead alright? Phily! (She points to the fat man) You better not hog those donuts because you ate alot more than your share at that french place last night. You stole Bob's food! You ought to be ashamed~! (Everyone looks at her dumbfounded and Phily looks at the ground embarassed.) What? It's true! Phily, 'you're a funny guy, but fat people die young'...where in the world did that come from? (o.O)
Xellos: I think from him... (He points to a poster of Richard Simmons on Phily's little corner of the set.)
Me (shuddering): Egads no! I better start this whole charade before I lower more people's self esteems..I feel so low...my script is missing... (collapses.)
Zelgadis: Hm..I wonder if that script had some sort of power that kept her going..
Lina: Power?....hm....like a tailsman eh?...hm...
Zelgadis: Don't even think about it. We don't need another happy-go-lucky director running about and ruining people's lives..
Lina: Am I ruining your life as is?
Zelgadis: I didn't say that. (blushes)
Gourry: I'd think she ruined alot of lives. Not that any life she ruins makes her chest any bigger...
(Gourry is immediately flung 30 ft. away by our renoun firery red haired sorceress.)
Me (snaps out of the coma): No, come on guys, do it for me! Let's put on the best damn movie of Romeo and Juliet the world has ever seen!! Touchan, orewa yaruze! (Dad, I'm gonna do it!)
Xellos: That's a little Huuma humor. ^_^
Me: Quiet you. Lights, camera, ACTION!
"Based on my memory, my script being missing and all.." The director clears her throat. "Juliet is now betrothed to marry Paris, the somewhat duke of Sailoon. What no one knows is that Romeo and Juliet have tied the knot secretly. Romeo, being banished, knows nothing of these marriage plans with Juliet, thus he's pretty much left in the dark. Juliet here needs to find a way to get out of this situation, but chances she'd get out of this 'alive' are very slim." She pauses trying to remember the rest but fails. She shrugs her shoulders and leaves the view from Friar Lawrence's cell. "Gourry get me a bagel!" She whispers to the dense blonde. He nods and stumbles off.
Juliet is sitting on a chair in the friar's cell. Rezo characteristically floats into the room carrying a small bottle of greenish liquid. "Ok now if you use this it'll put you in a state of sleep that will seem like death,capice'?" Lina nodded.
"Capice'? What the heck!?" The director opened her mouth to finish as just then Gourry brought her a bagel. She silently cursed herself for allowing the cast to improvise. (I should've set a boundary!) "Bah! Gourry this is a Rasin one! You know these are especially for Xellos. I get the plain ones, remember?" Gourry nodded and scampered off. (mumble mumble)
"So if I take this potion I can pretend to be dead and not marry Paris and during the time I'm in my tomb Romeo will come and we'll go to Atlas City together, right?" Juliet questioned to make sure.
"That's exactly it. Now then go to your room and take it in sleep. I'll make sure to handle the 'funeral' arrangements." Friar Lawrence handed her the vial and Juliet left the friar's cell without another word. "Now then, I better inform that confused youth of the plans. Mr. Noparticular-Importance guy?"
A nameless extra entered. "Yessir?"
"Take this to Atlas City to a youth by the name of Romeo Montague. He needs this give it post haste." He hands the guy a letter.
"Yessir" The extra left. (I'm going to call him the 'yessir' guy! ^_^)
"Ok my job's done." Rezo went back to mixing herbs.
Meanwhile in Juliet's room...
"Was I supposed to drink this?" .. Juliet stared at the green vial. "Or am I supposed to rub it on me....or..OH MY GOD..THIS BETTER NOT BE A SUPPOSITORY!?!" Lina pictured it in her mind.. (Bad mental picture. Please for the sake of your personal well being don't imagine such a thing.) "How in the world would that fit?" Juliet eyed the bottle once more. No..too big. (I did not want to hear that. Ewww..)
"Juliet?" the nurse came in.
"Hmm?"
"This is water to take your medicine. Friar Lawrence told me all about it. You drink it. Oh hohohoho. To think you thought it was an enema."
"An enema is actually different from a suppository, and I thought it was a suppository. It's a big difference." Juliet growled.
"Well whatever. I have to go watch the Saved by the Bell reruns! Zack the preppy is dreamy.." Naga began to drool.. (Everyone in unison excluding Naga : Ewwww, that show's, like, really old.)
"Hey I don't pay you to watch tv!" The director shouted in the background.
"Isn't there supposed to be a 'quiet on the set' remark?" Xellos smiled in his 'matter of factly' way.
"Oh?" The director raised an eyebrow. Xellos whistled and looked the other way.
"So I drink this potion and I sleep. G'night nurse. Good night Romeo, whereever you are." Lina drank the vial and fell in instant sleep.
Back at Friar Lawrence's cell...
"Friar Lawrence?"
"Yes, 'Yessir' guy?" Rezo looked up from his herbs. Lina must've drank the vile by now.
"I wasn't able to go in Atlas City sir. There was the plague that wiped out the village in the next town and the road to Atlas City is now all blocked because Prince Escarus placed the town and it's roads on quarrentine.."
"Oh shit." Rezo murmered. (It's funny hearing a priest cuss..hehehe..) "Ok thank you very much for nothing, you 'Useless' Guy!"
Beep! The siren in the studio went off again. Ameria walked over to where Lina had taken her last scene and noticed Lina was still there. "Miss Lina?" She bent over to examine Lina. "Miss Lina? You can't sleep here." She shook Lina. Lina did not wake. "Gyaaaaaaaaaa!!!"
"What's all that racket?" The director peeped over from a corner of the set.
"Miss Lina's...DEAD!" Ameria sputtered out.
"Naw...she can't be." The director stepped over to where Lina was..She held out a marshmallow roasting stick and poked Lina with it on the arm. Lina did not stir. "REZO!"
"Yes?" Rezo floated into the set.
"What did you give Lina?"
"Well I gave her Nyquil...why?"
"Oh...kay....Well we'll leave her like this. Gourry?"
"Hmm *****?" Gourry looked over. Delicate arms were wrapped around his neck...
"Quit necking with Sylphiel a moment and help me drag Lina to her trailer. I don't know where Zel ran off to." (So much for being the ominsent character.)
"Oh kay..." Gourry took Lina and dropped her in the trailer and went back to the waiting Sylphiel.
"Hey Rezo~! How about that game of chess? Hehehe...there's no way I could lose to a blind guy..." (You never know how much people with handicaps can accomplish though..)
And that wraps up this sad excuse for a chapter of this installment. Beware the next chapter: Still Missing is the Script & Romeo. Hope you read it then! =)
Part 9 | Fanfiction