Amelia. Zelgadis stared at the petite young woman as she stepped into the library's light, which seemed to shine off her raven locks. She'd grown a little in the last few years. She was a few centimeters taller and her facial features had become slightly more defined. Her blue eyes were bright and still full of that unique, sweet innocence and goodness, despite what she'd been doing just a few moments earlier. She was still Amelia. She was still...beautiful.
Behind her, the Beast entered, one hand resting possessively on her left shoulder. Zelgadis's eyes narrowed as he glared daggers at the Trickster, his hatred stronger than ever. He didn't care if Xelloss could sense his anger, the jackass deserved it for stealing his angel away from him. It hurt like hell discovering she'd chosen another man, and this one a Mazoku. A Mazoku over a chimera. He clenched his fists. Did she really choose Xelloss over him? The bastard had probably seduced her or tricked her or worse...
"Mommy! Daddy!" The violet-haired little girl scrambled out of Philionel's lap and ran to her parents, smiling. Xelloss picked her up and swung her high in the air, causing her to giggle.
"Did you have fun today?" he asked, resting her on his hip.
Razilee nodded emphatically. "Grandfather showed me aaaaall around the castle. Ish HUGE! I thought we'd get lost! An' then he read me stories, but these weird people came in." She pointed at Lina-tachi. "Mommy, can I spend the day with Grandfather again sometime?"
Amelia eyed her father. "I don't see why not."
Lina coughed. "Excuse me. I don't mean to interrupt, but the both of you have some explaining to do. First of all...where the heck have you been for the last four years, Amelia?? We thought you'd been lost or kidnapped! We thought you were dead! Where were you, and why didn't you bother to tell any of us??"
Amelia looked a little unprepared to answer that. "Well, I...I..."
"Ame-chan was with me," Xelloss supplied.
The flame-haired sorceress shot him a murderous look. "Quiet, you. I don't want to hear what you have to say. Amelia?"
She swallowed hard. "I was with Xelloss," she said, feigning nonchalance. "We've been busy raising Razilee. I'm sorry I didn't inform any of you when I left, but I was a little afraid of what my father would say about the baby. That's all."
"But how?" Zelgadis burst out suddenly. "You and him...how? How??"
Amelia looked at her feet. "It just sorta happened."
"Just sort of happened? This does not 'sorta' happen!" the chimera practically yelled, slamming his hand down on the table next to him.
She bit her lip nervously. "Does it matter? Xelloss and I are together now, that's all that's important."
"Yes, Zel-kun, that's all that matters," the Mazoku sweetly informed him. "Do you have a problem with that?"
Zelgadis ground his teeth together, struggling to keep himself in control, pointedly ignoring Xelloss. "Amelia...how could you? With a Mazoku? With him??"
The silent 'And not me' was heard clearly. Amelia blinked, feeling that her emotions were oddly displaced by this. Had he cared for her all this time? He'd never said anything. Had he returned the love she used to feel for him? Used to feel. Amelia noticed her own choice of words, past tense. She...didn't feel for him anymore, she realized. She felt...nothing...
Her lover stiffened beside her, aware of the tension in the air as well as Zelgadis's unspoken words. Amelia instinctively moved closer to him, further away from the chimera. I'm sorry, Zelgadis-san, she thought. I can't love you now.
Razilee was glaring at the chimera. "You're acting like my daddy's a monster again! I told you before that he's not! He's a good daddy and I love him!" She hugged her father fiercely to prove her point. "Mommy loves him too, and she's always right."
Zelgadis made a half-strangled exclamation of astonishment as his mouth fell open, shock written across his features. Prince Phil almost fell out of his chair, and Lina's eyes nearly doubled in size. "Is that true, Amelia? You love him?!"
"Well, I..." She glanced sideways at Xelloss, feeling a twinge of pain in her chest. "I..."
"Of course she does!" her daughter interrupted, climbing out of her father's arms and looking at Lina as though her question had been absurd. "Mommy and I love him. Isn't that right, Mommy? Isn't it?"
"....."
"Mommy and Daddy love each other very much," she went on, not waiting for an answer, her face taking on a peculiar expression. "Especially since they stopped fighting an' started being nice to each other. I'm so glad they don't fight anymore," Razilee declared, her blue eyes acquiring a starry glow. "Now we're a real family. We do family stuff. Mommy and Daddy read to me together so I can sleep at night, and we go on vacations together, and once we went on a picnic! Didn't we, Mommy? We never did stuff like that before." She gazed at Lina-tachi with large, puppy-dog eyes, amplifying her cuteness a thousandfold. "Mommy and Daddy were not nice to each other before. Then they made up and everything is okay now. It's okay, isn't it, Mommy? Isn't it?"
Amelia stared at her daughter with slightly teary eyes, feeling the child's innocence shine forth like a beacon. "Yes, sweetie," she whispered, reaching out and lacing her fingers through her lover's. "It's okay now. Everything's all right."
Zelgadis's heart throbbed painfully as he watched the little family sharing a sentimental moment. He should never have waited. He should never have neglected to tell her... But there was nothing he could do. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. And so he sat watching them in despair, wishing...wishing he'd told her...
The moon was bright and full, it's pale light washing delicately over the balcony just outside Amelia's quarters. She sighed, resting her chin on her arms and looking down on the courtyard below. The discussion had gone better than she'd expected. At least there had been no fireballs or extensive physical harm done to anyone. Zelgadis had threatened to destroy Xelloss if he ever hurt her and stormed out, his sentiments reinforced by her father and Lina. The only person who understood - or didn't understand at all - was Gourry, who'd merely shrugged the whole situation off. She wished the others had followed his example, but it was not to be. Zelgaids...
Amelia frowned and placed her hand over her heart, feeling odd. She was feeling...well, she was feeling no feeling. None whatsoever. Not even a mere shadow of her former admiration of the chimera existed. It was...empty. This made her feel quite strange, since she'd spent practically every waking moment pining over him when she was younger. Had she changed that much? Or had she just placed her love elsewhere?
She wondered when she'd stopped loving Zelgadis. Was it just recently? Was it long ago, before that night? Or just after that night? She hadn't even noticed it until that afternoon's discussion, when she'd seen the hurt and confusion in his eyes and had felt nothing. A bit guilty, perhaps. She had, however, felt that damn thorn in her heart, digging deeper than ever, with Xelloss's reaction to Zelgadis's implied words.
Xelloss. His name brought up an even more bewildering topic. One Amelia didn't really want to think about, but had to. She had to organize and identify her feelings. She had to establish what she felt and what she didn't feel, no matter the pain and mental anguish it brought her.
What did she feel for Xelloss? Ignoring the fact that he'd ruined her life, her heart often yearned for him. Especially lately, she remembered. Their relationship wasn't all sex. It wasn't all meaningless lovemaking. That thorn in her heart was proof, no doubt. But what exactly did she feel? Was it a mere attachment, a fondness? Was it friendship? Or did she...possibly...
The door slowly creaked open behind her, soft footsteps sounding on the marble stone. "Amelia?"
The former princess turned her head towards the obviously female voice, blinking her eyes in recognition. "Lina-san. What...?"
Lina hesitated a moment before crossing the balcony and sitting down next to her former companion, a little uncomfortable. "Amelia, I'm not here to interrogate you. I'm here as a friend. A concerned friend. I'm worried about you."
She turned her head away. "Worried? Why worry? Everything's fine."
"I don't believe you." The dark-haired girl was silent, vacillating too long. "You can't fool me, Amelia. Something's not right about all this. I can feel it." She took at deep breath. "It's not the fact that you and Xelloss are...involved. Okay, well, maybe it's partly that. But there's something else that I can't quite put my finger on...call it intuition if you want." Lina put a hand on the younger girl's shoulder. "I'm your friend, Amelia. Please tell me what's going on. Please let someone else know of your troubles."
Amelia stared out at the evening stars for a long time, pensive. Lina was her friend. She would listen. And Amelia wanted so badly to tell someone... "I was surprised, each time Xelloss dropped by the palace to see me," she spoke quietly, thoughtful in her reminiscence. "I suppose he was on his way to missions and whatnot, but he often took the time to come and say hello. I never understood why, but I let him visit anyway. We conversed and had tea, and then he'd leave. It was kind of flattering," she said, managing a small smile. "I'd always found him to be rather sexy."
Lina's eyebrows shot up. "Sexy? Xelloss???"
"Yeah. He was so dark and mysterious...he was intriguing."
The sorceress sputtered for a few moments, struggling to grasp this concept. "But I thought you loved Zelgadis!"
Amelia sighed a little. "I did. Now I don't think that's true anymore. I've stopped admiring him."
"Is this how you ended up with Xelloss?"
Her shoulder shook slightly with memory. "Sort of. At the time, I still loved Zelgadis-san. And I eventually had to tell Xelloss that..."
The Mazoku in discussion watched from within the shadows, behind the balcony's pillars. He saw Lina's impossibly widening eyes as Amelia went on, heard the violent tale from his lover's lips. Lina was obviously in complete shock that something so horrible had happened to her companion. Xelloss felt regret coursing through his body as Amelia continued. He'd really screwed up her life. And he'd known it would screw up her life, but was too selfish to care at the time.
Damn. Mazoku weren't supposed to regret their actions. They weren't supposed to care if they injured their playthings. But he had felt terrible; that's why he'd gone back to find her. And found her with child. He'd regretted losing control of his anger, his selfish Mazoku behavior taking over. Now he felt lower than dirt, discovering more of the hardships she'd had to face during his absence. All because he'd wanted to fill the emptiness inside for a little while... Unable to listen to any more of the painful history, Xelloss slunk off into the night.
Amelia struggled to wipe the tears from her face and sniffled, a little embarrassed that she couldn't keep them in. "I'm sorry, Lina-san, I can't help it." She rubbed her eyes and glanced at the red-haired sorceress, whose expression was beyond shock. "Lina-san?"
Lina regarded her old friend slowly, almost unable to believe the growing up she'd been forced to do. "Amelia...I had no idea...if I'd known..."
"I didn't want any of you to know. Especially Zelgadis-san." She fiddled with the folds of her dress. "Thank you for listening. Thank you for being a friend."
Lina stood, a strange look on her face. "Thank you for letting me listen, Amelia." She gave the girl a reassuring pat as she turned to leave.
"Lina-san," Amelia said suddenly, stopping her in her tracks. "Please don't tell Zelgadis-san about this."
"I won't." Lina strode out the door, expression set. I won't tell Zelgadis, Amelia. I don't need him to deal with Xelloss, she thought grimly. I can kill him myself.
Amelia shivered in the night as her thoughts reverted back to her lover, about the thorn buried in her heart's bottom. About the cold nights when they'd held each other close. About the tears they'd shared, the laughter they'd just learned to. And despite everything, she smiled.