Y'know what makes me mad? So mad that I would jump up and down and throw things... if I could... It's people what don't know how good they've got it.
Like the other day. I was sitting around, doing absolutely nothing, soaking up the sun like I always do, when this guy comes along. Grumbling and muttering, he thumps himself down right next to me. He was heavy too, made the ground shake beneath me. The next thing I know, he's going on and on under his breath about how his life sucks, how he can't take it any more, how nothing ever goes right for him... Well Mister! I felt like yelling. If you think your life sucks, try being me for a day!
He got all comfy sitting next to me; pulled off his mask and shoved his hood back. Then I saw what he was complaining about. Stone skin. Stone skin, for crying out loud! What kinda curse is that? I mean, the dandruff must be something awful... but STILL... There must be all sorts of advantages to stone skin. Probably can't get it cut; that'd be good in a swordfight. And a stone fist'd give him the punch of power.
So what'd he have to complain about? He had two working hands, all the usual quota of fingers and suchlike, legs that moved properly... If he'd been turned into a living statue, he should at least be thankful that he don't got the usual range of motion of your average statue, i.e. none. To be able to run around, jump up and down, pick a flower, all that stuff; and still he's complaining?
I mean, he's still got his looks, right? That's probably what pissed me off the most. There he was, feeling all sorry for himself for having a rocky face. At least he HAS a face.
Unlike me.
I don't got nothing but bark.
I wasn't always like this, you know. But I made the mistake of pissing off a fairy or an elf or something... one of them little people, anyway. And now here I am, growing leaves like there was no tomorrow. Well at least I'll live a really long time... unless someone cuts me down.
The guy left soon after that; put his mask back on and the hood up. Fat lot of good a mask would do me. He got up right quick and continued on his way; from the dent he left in the ground, that stony skin of his must've been pretty heavy, but he carried hisself like he didn't even notice.
The bastard. He thinks HIS life is hell.
He don't even know the half of it.