Zelgadis hacked and slashed the log.
"I want to be strong. Strong."
He swung his sword harder and snapped off a branch. He swung again and felt the vibrations on his sword as it dug into the log.
"Strong!!"
Zelgadis swung once more and embedded the sword into the wood. He tried to pull it out but it was useless. It would not come out.
"Damn it!!" He turned away in frustration and yelled at the top of his lungs.
"Damn it all!!"
He watched as a flurry of birds rose up in flight, frightened by his yelling. He looked down at the ground and cursed his feeble talents. He was a superb swordsman but it wasn't enough. He wanted to be a master shamanist. After years of struggling that got him nowhere, he was becoming desperate.
"Does hacking at a poor defenseless tree make you feel better?"
Zelgadis whirled around and saw Odessa at the edge of the clearing. She was a pretty girl with long dark blue hair and gray eyes. She was slightly shorter than Zelgadis and she moved with fluid grace. She walked toward the log and looked down at it with sympathy.
"Poor log. It's no match against you." Her gaze shifted to Zelgadis. "And I always thought you were the type that fought fairly."
Zelgadis turned his back to her. "Go away."
"I won't." Odessa put her hand on his shoulder and felt his shoulder muscles stiffen. "Adis, please, talk to me."
With those words, he slowly relaxed. Adis. Her special name for him. When they were young, Odessa couldn't pronounce his name properly. Her childish tongue could only manage to say the last part of his name. Since then, she had called him "Adis", but only when they were alone. After all, it wouldn't be special if everybody else heard it.
He turned around to face her.
"Odessa ... you wouldn't understand."
"Oh, I understand more than you think. Do you think I'm blind?" Her calm veneer disappeared and was replaced with barely contained fury. She looked him right in the eye. "I've been watching you for years as you waste your life away!" She gave him a slight shove. "Who cares if you're not good at magic? What difference does it make, anyway!"
"You can say that because you're good at magic! If I had your talents, I wouldn't be stuck in this little town! I certainly wouldn't squander them like you!"
"I do not squander my magic."
"Yes, you do. With your powers, you could do so much. Instead, you hardly use them!"
"Did it ever occur to you maybe I have good reasons for that?!"
"What reasons?"
Odessa turned her back to him. She breathed in deeply to slow down her heart beat. She clutched the red medallion that hung on her dress. This was her favourite medallion. It was the only keepsake she had of her dead mother. When she felt calm again, she faced him.
"Adis, you're my friend. Please ... I can't stand watching you torment yourself like this."
Zelgadis sighed. "Odessa, you're my friend too. Actually ... you're my only friend." He stared down at his feet and watched as they shuffled. "I never understood why you befriended me. I'm the outcast. The black sheep ... "
Zelgadis was momentarily lost in his thoughts. Memories of people staring at him, always whispering behind his back, never meeting his eyes. He still remembered the childhood pain of being bullied and isolated. He had been a boy of small stature and was easily defeated. He hated being weak! There were frequent beatings and whenever he tried to fight back, the beating just became worse. All that changed when one day a little girl decided to take him under her wing. He smiled at the memory of little Odessa facing the bullies with fearlessness and declaring that they won't pick on Zelgadis anymore. Nobody challenged her. After all, she was the mayor's daughter. Ever since then, they've been best friends. But their relationship was frowned upon by the town and especially by her father. Thoughts of Odessa's father ruined his quiet reverie.
Zelgadis frowned. "You better get back to town, Odessa. You're father wouldn't be pleased if you're seen with me."
"He doesn't know I'm here. He thinks I'm in my room."
"What?"
"I told him I have a headache and I have to lie down. I locked the door and I climbed out of the window."
Zelgadis stared at her in amazement. "Why did you do a stupid thing like that?! You know he hates you associating with garbage like me."
Odessa's face crinkled up. "You're not garbage!"
"Well, he certainly thinks so! So does the rest of the town."
Anger and bitterness coursed through his veins. He tasted bile in his mouth. He hated this damn town! The only reason he stayed was because of Odessa ... and Rezo.
He still remembered clearly the day he met Rezo. It was after the disaster that rocked his life. He was the product of his mother's unfaithfulness to his father. For years his father had not realized that Zelgadis was not his son. When Zelgadis was 6 years old, the truth had come out. It turned out that a woman in the town had known about the affair and had sold her information. In his blind rage, Zelgadis' father killed his wife and then committed suicide. Zelgadis had walked into their room and saw the bloody bodies of his parents. The memories haunted him still.
The whole town had been shocked. That such an act of brutality would happen in their quiet town was unthinkable. Everyone saw the frightened little boy and took pity on him but none would come forward to take care of him. No compassion was shown. The town people could only think of the ostracizing they'd have to endure if they took him in.
The next day, a mysterious man wearing a red robe with a priest's staff came into town. He found Zelgadis huddled on his bed in the silent house, all alone ...
"Hello Zelgadis" His voice was deep and soft. The rings on his staff jingled.
Zelgadis wiped the tears that coursed down his cheeks. "Who, who are you?"
The tall man crouched down until he was eye level with Zelgadis. It was then that Zelgadis realized that the man was blind.
"My name is Rezo. I'm your grandfather."
Zelgadis sniffed. "You're not my grandfather. He's dead. Besides, you're too young to be anybody's grandfather."
Rezo smiled. "You're a very smart boy. That's good. A person must keep their wits about in this harsh and cruel world." He reached out and slowly caressed Zelgadis' head. "I am your grandfather, Zelgadis. Your father was not really your father. Your mother got pregnant with you by another man. He was my son. So you see? I'm your grandfather."
Zelgadis had heard the same thing whispered by the town people but he didn't really understand. How could his father not be his father? He was the only father Zelgadis had ever known. He felt so confused.
"But you're young."
Rezo continued to smile. "I practice magic. People who work with magic tends to age slower. That's why I look young despite my old age."
Zelgadis sucked in his breath. A sorcerer! He had never met a sorcerer before.
"Can you change people into frogs?"
Rezo laughed. "I'm a priest. I travel and help people in need. Changing people into frogs isn't very helpful."
"But you could do it if you wanted, right?"
"Perhaps." Rezo sat beside Zelgadis and put his hand on the little boy's shoulder. "Zelgadis, I want you to listen to me very carefully. I know everything seems very confusing right now and you're frightened. I want you to know that you don't have to be scared anymore. I won't let anything happen to you."
Zelgadis turned his eyes to Rezo's closed ones. "Are you going to take care of me?"
"No, but they will." Rezo pointed to the couple who stood by the door. Zelgadis hadn't even noticed them because of his fascination with his grandfather. The woman was slightly plump with a kind face and the man beside her smiled encouragingly. They came forward.
"Hello, Zelgadis. My name is Nell and this is my husband, James."
"It's good to finally meet you, Zelgadis." said James. " Your grandfather has told us a lot about you."
Zelgadis looked at them with solemn eyes. Then he turned to Rezo. "I don't want to live with them. I want my mama and papa back."
Rezo looked at him sadly. "I'm sorry, Zelgadis. But they're dead. They can't come back."
Zelgadis tried bravely not to cry ... and failed. Rezo hugged the boy as sobs racked his small body.
"It's okay. Everything will be fine. I promise." He wiped the tears away from Zelgadis' cheeks. "From now on you'll live with Nell and James. They are very nice people and you can trust them."
"Wha, what about you?"
"I will visit from time to time."
"No! Take me with you! Please!"
"I'm sorry, Zelgadis, but my travels are not fit for a small boy. You'll be better off here."
"No! Everybody hates me! I know it! I don't want to be here!"
Rezo put both of his hands on Zelgadis' shoulders. "Listen to me, Zelgadis. You must stay in this town. Living here with Nell and James is the best thing for you. I promise to visit a lot."
Zelgadis' lips trembled. Rezo lifted Zelgadis' chin with his hand.
"And when I visit you, I will teach you magic. But I will only teach you magic if you promise to be a good boy and live here. Understand?"
Zelgadis nodded.
Since then, Zelgadis had been raised by his adoptive parents. They were good people but Zelgadis had never felt a lot of affection for them. They were strangers who were being paid by Rezo to take care of him, nothing more. Over the years Rezo had visited frequently and had taught Zelgadis magic. He always begged Rezo to teach him more and was always refused.
"You must have patience, Zelgadis. Magic cannot be learned in a day. It takes years of training."
"But grandfather, I'm sick of constantly reading old tomes and reciting and memorizing. I want to learn everything now!"
A frown creased Rezo's brow. "I know the readings can be tiresome but it is important that you know all the aspects of magic, not just how to use it."
Then he would quietly disappear just as he had come and Zelgadis would never know when he would see his grandfather again. It went on like this for years and it was still like this. Zelgadis was sick of it. He wanted to be strong now!
He stared at his sword embedded in the wood. "Odessa, you better get going."
Odessa did not like being ordered around. She put her hand on his arm. "Adis, magic is not all it's cracked up to be. With great power, comes great responsibility. In the wrong hands it's a terrible thing to behold."
"Oh? So what are you saying? Are you saying that magic in my hands is wrong?"
"No! That's not what I mean. Stop twisting my words."
"I'm not! It's just that everyone around here seems to think I'm not good enough for anything! If I had any talent, I'm sure Rezo would have taught me more." He cursed himself silently.
"You're a great swordsman. No one in town is your equal. Isn't that good enough?"
"No. I'm still too weak. I have to get stronger."
"But Adis - "
"NO!" Zelgadis shook off her hand. "I'm not going to listen to you anymore! I know what I want and you're not going to stop me!"
Silence filled the clearing. Odessa stared at Zelgadis with a blank expression.
"Okay. If that's what you want ... fine. Just don't come crawling back to me when you need help, Zelgadis."
She turned around and walked slowly out of the clearing. When she was out of Zelgadis' sight she started running. Tears flooded her vision as her heart broke.
"Stupid, stupid, jerk!! Fine! If he wants his bloody magic more than me then why should I care! That jerk!"
Zelgadis stared at Odessa's retreating figure with guilt. He hadn't meant to take out his frustrations on her.
"Oh Gods, I'm a fool! I'm a weak, stupid, worthless fool!"
Anger and guilt exploded in his being. He grabbed the sword's hilt with both hands and pull it out.
"I WANT TO BE STRONG!! STRONG!!"
He slashed the log violently.
Suddenly, he heard footsteps and the sound of metal striking metal.
He turned around and faced Rezo.
"So, Zelgadis ... you want to be strong ... "
Rezo smiled softly.