Continuation of Silver Angel's fic Never Again. Shown below for your conveniance.
Once was enough for me.
I saw him once, and then I fell for him. But I won't do it again.
No, never again.
But...
How can I, when he's always around me? How can I never again?
I must be strong. I must.
Oh, why...
Never again. That your motto now.
Never again.
Never, never.
Never...
"Hey, Lina, what is Filia thinking about?"
Fillia started, as she heard her name.
"Fillia-san are you O.K.?" Amelia asked, concerned etched across her face.
Fillia blushed, "Oh, I'm just fine." She then turned her back and continued to work on her pot. She sighed as she heard them leave the pottery shop. Did they always have to visit? Even, if it was for such a short while. He seemed to always be with them when they visited, even though he said that he didn't want to be around them.
She looked up to see him staring at her, mild concern written on his face. She quickly looked back at her pottery.
She felt like crying, but with him there, how could she?
She wished he hadn't been there in that tower. All she'd asked for was Lina. But, he had been there, trying to pull up his hood before she saw, but it had been too late. She had seen him, and had to control the urge to stare at him. He had been radiantly handsome. How could he even think about covering that face?
It had been a great attempt on her part to continue to act dignified and calm as she talked to them, even more so, since she was unconsciously trying to impress him. Then, that stupid swordsman, embarrassing her in front of everyone. In front of him. She hadn't been able to contain her anger and embarrassment and the swordsman had found himself at the wrong end of her mace.
Oh, she had been so humiliated. She knew she had to go back. That was her initial reason for coming. To test them.
She came to them, blushing horribly, and when he had handed the mace back, she felt so happy to have it back, especially from him. She had acted embarrassingly like a kid, giggling and blushing.
Fillia sighed, feeling her blush rise as she carefully sculpted the walls of the pot. She looked up. He was outside, carefully practicing his sword strokes. She found herself mesmerized by the careful dance of muscle and steel. He suddenly turned to stare back at her. She jumped, fumbling the pot. She grumbled under her breath, trying to hide her blush, while also trying not to look up at him. But, at last she did. But, he was gone.
She sighed. Well, that's all for the better. She couldn't continue to think of him. He wasn't right for her. She remembered how angry she had been at him when she had sent him flying with her mace. How angry she had been at herself for being attracted to this part demon that had caused so much damage. Out of frustration for his actions and for her inability to get him out of her mind, she had struck out at him. Afterward, she had to hide her guilt from hitting him. She was afraid that somehow she would let her true feeling leak out in such a confession.
She couldn't. She shouldn't even consider it. He was part demon. That wasn't a mazaku, but it was still too close. However, she couldn't help it. She tried to concentrate on fixing the pottery. But, her building frustration made it so difficult.
Why did she have to fall for him? Why did he seem to unknowingly encourage it? He rarely ever reached out knowingly for physical contact from anyone else in the group. But, he'd reached out to her.
Seeing Lina, Gourry, and Amelia charging for food after complaining about being too tired to move, had been shocking. But, she had felt the hand on her shoulder and turned in surprise to see him smiling gently at her.
She'd been so upset at seeing the Gold Dragon seal so far from home. It had been a sign that her people might have been a part of what they were seeking. She couldn't help but fall to her knees in shock. Then, she had heard him over her shoulder, shaking her gently.
"Fillia, daijobu? What wrong?" She jerked her head up to see him staring at her worried. His voice as urgent as it had been then. She fought back the urge to cry and throw herself into his arms, just like then. She didn't care if he was hard as stone. His hands on her shoulder and his breath on her neck as he cried her name had been warm. She knew how wonderful it would be to be held in his strong arms.
She smiled, "I'm O.K. I just let my mind wander a bit."
He continued to stare at her, uncertain as he his eyes darted to the ground. Fillia looked down and blushed, quickly picking up the pieces of the smashed pottery.
He also bent over, picking up the pieces and putting them up on the wheel. He looked up, just as she did. She stopped to stare into his eyes, his breath warm on her cheeks. She blushed and quickly stood up, as he finished picking up the pieces. She smiled, blushing slightly, running her hands through her hair in embarrassment.
He stood up to look at her. His eyes examining her face.
"Are you sure your O.K.?" he asked.
She blushed even harder, curling her hair around her finger and trying to find a lady-like way out.
"Thank you," she managed to stammer as she grabbed a nearby pot to take to the storefront. But instead she managed to trip over the stairs, dropping the pot, shattering it, a shard flying out to slice a soft cheek.
She shrieked in surprise. Then, he was there again. His hand was gently on her shoulder. She turned, her eyes wide, as he stared at her. She jerked away as a hand came up to cup her cheek, but he ran an arm around her shoulders as he quietly healed her cheek.
Fillia couldn't believe it. She felt her heart flutter in her chest, like it was going to fly away like a frightened butterfly. But, she couldn't move as she stared at her, his intense eyes not moving from hers.
He pulled his hand away from her cheek, and pulled away. Fillia heart felt like it was going to burst. "Be more careful," he whispered and walked away.
She stood there quietly. Her mind screamed at her to tell him to stop. It told her to do something as she watched him walk over the horizon, and out of site.
She kept telling herself...
Never again.
I'll never see him.
Never again.