Chapter One: SURPRISE! A mysterious man come to help Zelgadiss?!


Few people can attest to having blown up entire buildings single-handedly. Even fewer can attest to having blown up important buildings, or buildings with irreplacable objects in them. However, among the fewest of all of these can attest to having blown up a building which at one time housed the most powerful treasure on the continent.

However, Lina Inverse was in the process of becoming one of the few, the proud, and in this case, the pissed. She shrieked out rage even as she planted fireball after fireball into the antechamber of the ancient temple. Gourry couldn't claim he knew, as he had run too far away from her to hear her at the time, but she even screamed as she destroyed the entire once-sacred testament to dead gods with her Dragu Slave.

"DAAAAAMN!!!!! We hunt for three months and finally think we find the stupid Eye of Siefied, and it has to be taken by thieves!!!", Lina belted out the side of her mouth as she wolfed down dish after dish of food. Her ever-blonde companion not-so-wisely pointed out, "But weren't you going to do that anyways?" "That's not the point! The Eye of Siefied would look much better on me than any old farty bandit!" Gourry thought about this for a moment and pictured the ever-lovable Prince Philionel wearing a very large tacky stone eyeball. "True..."

"True doesn't even cover it!!! Ksaaaaa....... damn!", she yelled, as she slammed down her dish. "Food can't even calm me down!" The poor barmaid, who had been at the beck and call of Lina since she walked in the door, glanced at the ceiling-high stack of dishes and wondered why Lina ate so much if it didn't calm her down. Lina grabbed Gourry by the head and yelled, "That's it! I need to cut loose! Come on, Gourry, we're gonna go find some bandits!"

With that statement, a bystander to the whole scene who knew much of Lina's legend knew.... he knew.. that that statement had sealed the fate of the Demon's Head gang nearby. He scurried off to the gang to try to aid them in their last hour.

"Maybe that did it...", thought Harold. Harold had been through a rough night... he had just been hired three nights ago as this gang's resident magician, and he'd already gone toe-to-toe with the toughest sorceror he had ever seen. In Harold's last move, he had cleverly fooled the invader with a Flare Arrow, and blown up the ground underneath his opponent with a Dill Brand. The flames kept coming from the ground, as Harold had learned to do by focusing his will. However, he couldn't do it long, and he had to let up soon.

"Nothing human could live through that!", Harold panted out in a rush of relief. Harold wiped the sweat from his brow and let up the gush of flames.

"True. Nothing human could.", said the calm voice, as the white-robed figure stepped out from the column of flames, unscathed. "But...", he said, lowering his veil from his stoney green skin, "....I'm not human."

With that, Zelgadiss rushed up to Harold, chopping his staff in two with a broadsword. In the next instant, Harold was a foot above the ground, held up by the inhuman strength of Zelgadiss. "Now... where is the map?" "What map?" "You really don't want to play dumb with me, bastard... does it look like I value a human life?" Zelgadiss had practiced this, to put just the right emphasis on 'human' as to complete their minds transition into the opinion that he was a monster, caring not for the concerns of humanity. It worked very well.. it was the only thing which he had enjoyed about his chimaeric appearance - watching people squirm in his hand.

"Ahhh!!! It's... it's in there!!", Harold yelled, waving his finger off into another room. With that, Zelgadiss dropped Harold, but he had fainted long before he hit the floor.

Zelgadiss entered the room, and walked straight into an unfortunately familiar face. "Bastard... what are you doing here?!", Zelgadiss growled, preparing a 'Diem Wind' spell which was to bounce off Xelloss's magical shield thirteen seconds later.

"That is a secret..", was the trickster priest's trademark reply. "Oh yes, Zelgadiss, you'll find that the map is of no use to you." Zelgadiss edged over to the map, facing Xelloss at all times, picked it up, and quickly perused it. "Shimatta!", he yelled, and burnt it.

"You learn so slowly..", said Xelloss.

"What matter is it of yours?!", Zelgadiss bolted out.

"That is a secret."

"Of course. Now, Bastard, tell me why you're here or I'll run you through!", Zelgadiss spoke out authoritatively with his sword to Xelloss's back.

"That is not wise...", Xelloss said, slowly opening his eyes. A split-second later, Zelgadiss looked rather stupid, holding his hand like his hand out like there was a sword in it, where his sword was obviously sheathed. "Now will you listen?"

"Not for much longer."

"Then I'll make this short. Go to Sailune. Someone there awaits you."

"Wha-?!", Zelgadiss said, as Xelloss disappeared. "Bastard! Come back and fight me like a man! Coward!"

"That is not wise...", Xelloss's voice echoed through the hall.


Lina got steadily more furious an hour later when she found that the map of the Sea of Chaos, the only thing this gang's resident person-with-brain-cells told her had any value in this dump, was burnt. Not only had she not gotten the Eye of Siefied, not gotten to beat up any bandits, and not gotten a map of the Sea of Chaos, but Xelloss had appeared and given her a vague clue again!! "Go to Sailune.." Yeah, she was going to go to Sailune, and kill every bandit she could find along the way.


"This is no fun at all...", Ameria thought to herself as she listened to two people bicker over their pet dog in court. "This isn't the way justice should be dispensed at all..." At this point, Ameria drifted off to a dream sequence of her in a beautiful black mumu of justice and sentencing with lightning speed under the light of heaven. Then her father came in, and her eyes becoming gargantuan, she looked up to the imminent approval of her father and yadda yadda yadda...

Ameria was so absorbed in her justice dreams that she barely noticed her warning spells going off. You see, Ameria was a very studious practicer of the arcane arts.... she had perfected a spell for telling whenever certain types of people entered certain areas... she sped off, flighty off of her justice dreams, straight to her bedroom to prepare for the forthcoming event she just portented. For you see, no matter how good he was, he could never seem to get past Ameria's warning spells, powered by her bizarre obsession. Indeed, Ameria was getting ready in a hurry - Zelgadiss had just entered within a three-mile radius.

As soon as she had finished the thirteenth cycle of all her clothes and how they looked on her and before she entered the fourteenth, her father burst in the room. "Ameria, my daughter! Have you prepared for his coming?!" "No, not quite yet, father! I'm still preparing!" "Good! You want to look perfect for the envoy from Mondor! This is the way of true justice, my daughter!", Philionel spouted just before he exited, as suddenly as he had appeared.

Shit. She had completely forgotten about the envoy from Mondor. And after he had risked his life to bring them what he swore were 'secrets to die for'... no, her heart should be tempered for justice, not some passing fancy! Oh, that she should put aside her heart for the sake of good! How dramatic! At least, she thought so.


The envoy from Mondor ran faster than he ever had in his life. He was a pretty good magician, sub-Lina, but still proficient. The rest of his envoy were even better than he.. yet, here he was, the only surviving member of his envoy, running for his life. There was something behind him... something that didn't appreciate his secret.


Chapter 2   |   Fanfiction