Everyone is huddled around Death while he's playing final fantasy six on the playstation.
"Come on Zoneseek, come on Zoneseek! Gwah!! Another cherub down!" Death cries out in frustration.
"This virtual auction house is annoying. I'm going to go to the real one behind us." Relm turns around and magically an auction house is right behind her that wasn't there in the last hit fic part.
Zelgadis leans into his husband --
"HEY!" Zelgadis yells at the authors.
Sorry. Zelgadis turns to Gourry. "Was that auction house there before?"
"Nope."
Relm walks into the auction house, grabs a paddle with the number 48 on it and takes a seat in the front row in front of the auctioneer platform.
"And the first item up for bids is... ‘some cherub down'!" The auctioneer shouts while bringing out the item.
Relm glares at the auctioneer with a very cross look.
The auctioneer whose visibly scared steps back a few steps. "Ah, um how about we get the... next item... now!" The auctioneer turns his back around to the helpers and whispers to them. "What's the next item?" They tell him and he turns back to the bidders. "Okay now for the next item, the summoning esper ‘Carbunkle'!"
Carbunkle is brought out onto the stage, caged in a not so big metal cage. As a matter a fact it was quite small that Carbunkle just barely fit in it. He was rather squished into it and seemed to be in pain. "Shall we start the bidding at 500 gp?"
The whole room is silent, not one person wants to bid on him. Carbunkle tries to say something but being as squished as he is his words are muffled beyond human comprehension. He glares at Relm who was just sitting on her chair looking at him with a very evil grin. Carbunkle mumbles in discontent.
"Fine. I bid 500 gp." Relm says in a not so enthusiastic voice while holding up her paddle.
A little boy down in the front row of Relm's right begins to beg to his dad. "Daddy! I want that one please?" The boy whines to his father who doesn't look to impressed with the squished green fuzzy blob like thing in the cage on the stage.
"No. Look at all the ones you have already." The camera pans over to right of them where several espers such as Zoneseek, Golem, Imp, Alexander, Bismark, and Atomos.
"Pleeeeeeeeaaaaasssse?! Just this last one?"
"Fine alright. 10,000 gp."
Carbunkle looks over to Relm who was just getting up to leave. "What? You don't honestly think I'm going to pay that much to get YOU back?"
Carbunkle attempts to scream but his attempts are futile and it ends up being a quiet muffle.
Relm stands there trying to decide what to do. Then all of a sudden she smiles when an idea comes to mind. "10,100 gp."
"50,000 gp!" The guy counter bids.
"Gee, this is really getting expensive... hmmm.... 50,001 gp."
"1,000,000 gp!"
Relm as well as everyone else in the auction house goes bug-eyed. "2,000,000 gp!" Relm bids.
Now it was the other guys turn to go bug-eyed. "I'm sorry son, your mother would kill me if she knew that I was going to buy an item here for over 2,000,000 gp."
The kid pouts in discontent.
"Okay sold! The esper goes to... the lady with the number 48 paddle!"
Moments later Relm walks out of the auction house with Carbunkle in hand. Yes folks he wasn't out of the cage yet. In fact none of the people at the auction house had the key to the lock on the cage. Carbunkle had been delivered to the auction house in the cage already. And because Carbunkle couldn't talk clearly being squished and all he couldn't tell her who did this to him or how Relm might open the lock.
"I bet you're curious on how I got the 2,000,000 gp to pay for you at the auction house don't ya Carbunkle?" Relm asks her caged co-hort.
Carbunkle grumbles something that could be interrupted as a yes.
"Well I don't have 2,000,000 gp, but you do in your budget so I just took it out of there."
Carbunkle squirms around in his cage in anger.
"Hey I got you out didn't I? And besides, you weren't even using your budget money anyway. When was the last time you actually worked on Slayers, Huh? What?! Well?"
Carbunkle rolls his eyes and remains silent.
"How did you manage to get over 2,000,000 gp for your budget anyway?" Relm glares at the green fuzzy now nervous thing.
Carbunkle avoids looking at her in the eyes.
Relm was going to press him further when she heard Death yell out in frustration yet again. Zoneseek had eluded him yet again.
"Mister Death shouldn't we be trying to figure out who kidnapped Mister Carbunkle, and how to get him back?" Amelia asks Death who isn't listening to her.
"Oh you want him back? Here take him." Relm throws the cage with Carbunkle in it towards the group and it crashes to the ground with a big clang. Unfortunately for Carbunkle the cage didn't break open.
"Mister Carbunkle! You're back!" Sylphiel exclaims.
Carbunkle rolls his eyes again.
Everyone looks to Relm.
"Relm, where you find him?" Zelgadis ask Relm.
"Oh I got the bugger at the auction house over there." Relm points behind her.
Everyone looks to the direction that Relm was pointing at but there was no auction house to be found.
"What auction house?! There's no auction house there!"
"Oh it must have been the phantom auction house! That explains it." Relm nods her head.
Everyone looks at her in confusion except Gourry because he understood the whole thing.
"So how did Carbunkle end up an auction house anyway?"
"I dunno. He can't talk because he's so smushed in there, and no one has the key to open up the lock. I know maybe if we kick Carbunkle around a bit the cage will break open!"
Carbunkle eyes go wide.
To Be Continued... later. [12,000]