Everyone was sitting around over dinner, and discussing where they were going to go next. Zelgadiss wanted to chase down other leads for his cure once again, and Amelia felt it was her duty to find out more about the lands beyond the Barrier before she ever returned home. "That's gonna take you years, Amelia," Lina pointed out.
She wasn't worried, and after all, there was still plenty of time before Amelia came of age and had to go home.
"Hey, Filia, have you heard of anything, anything at all that could remotely help Zelgadiss?" Lina asked the Gold Dragon.
Filia's brow furrowed in thought. "I might have... I'll have to think hard though."
"Maybe Xelloss would know of something," Gourry added suddenly. "After all, he's been around for more than a thousand years, and that's gotta be good for something!" he smiled brightly.
Silence descended on the companions. "That's frightening." Zelgadiss said. "When Gourry makes sense... we've got to be on to something."
"For all the good it will do us," Lina said, waving it away. "If Xelloss does know anything at all and we ask, all he'll say is 'That is a secret!' ne, Xelloss?" she looked at the Mazoku priest.
Xelloss furrowed his brow and rubbed his chin with one gloved hand. "Well of course it's a secret, Lina-chan. If it wasn't, you'd heard about it by now."
"See? I told you -- " Lina began, annoyed.
"Would you like to hear all about it?" Xelloss interrupted with a cheerful smile.
The silence was deafening. Even the crickets outside hushed.
Filia stood up suddenly, upsetting the egg she was holding in her lap to keep warm. Valgarv's egg bounced on the table and rolled around in little circles as she pulled out her mace. "What did you say?!"
"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH XELLOSS!?!?!?!" Lina screamed, jumping up from her chair and fell into a defensive stance on front of her friends, her slender hands cupping a very big fireball.
Zelgadiss too, was on his feet, sword drawn. "Anyone who's able to do away with him and take his place has to be powerful indeed! Be careful, Lina!"
Amelia bounced to her feet and leveled a finger at Xelloss. "You impostor! You will pay for what you have done! Though Xelloss was a Mazoku, he was still our companion and in the name of Justice we will avenge his murder at your villainous hands!!"
Gourry, who was the only one still remaining in his chair, blinked in puzzlement then scratched at his chin. "You mean we've been going around with a fake?"
Lina bashed him into the ground, then used the chair to drive in the facts. "Since when will Xelloss ever volunteer to reveal a secret?!"
"I see..." Xelloss said, his finger resting against his chin as though in deep thought. He slowly looked up at the ring of incredulous adventurers, then broke into a wide, inane grin. "So that's what you'll do if I ever said that!"
Lina was the first to react, burying him into the ground with Filia's mace. "You JERK!!"
"You NAMAGOMI MAZOKU!!" Filia shrilled, then proceeded to smash at him with the table, forgetting Valgarv's egg. It went sailing into the air and landed in the arms of one of the barmaids. (hey, I've got a kid of my own... I'm not gonna hurt an egg!)
"Gee... so he's not a fake after all? So why are you all so angry?" Gourry asked, risking death and worse once again (Since when has that stopped him?)
Lina facefaulted, then pounced him and proceeded to shake him like a rattle. "BECAUSE YOGURT BRAINS HE -- "
Zelgadiss sighed, righting his chair and signaling for another cup of coffee. " -- he did exactly what we would expect from him, Lina. We were fools to ever think otherwise." He glared down at Xelloss in disgust. "You have to admit, he did have us all going there."
"I always wondered what you would do..." Xelloss smiled up from the cellar underneath the inn's floor. He paused, then floated out gracefully. "If I ever told a secret, that is. Now I know!" (NO ONE DARE WITH THAT "AND KNOWING IS HALF THE BATTLE" G.I. JOE CRAP!!)
"But Xelloss-san..." Amelia interrupted. "You didn't tell us the secret!"
"Yes, you didn't," Filia said triumphantly. "So now you've got to tell!"
Xelloss pondered that for a moment. "Well...yes, I do believe that I would have to tell. I don't have your real reactions after all. Very well."
"The secret to Zelgadiss' cure is..." Xelloss began, his eyes open and his face earnest.
Everyone leaned forward waiting breathlessly for him to continue.
"A secret!" he finished.
::The author, due to the delicacy of the audience did not choose to elaborate the dire fate of the Beast Priest, the inn and the town.::
Shadowdancer's comment: You know though... he DID speak the truth. It is a secret.
Chaos: I bet you anything that if he ever DID tell ANY secret to all of them, they still wouldn't believe him anyway.
Shadowdancer: He'd make a perfect Bayushi, ne? MY CLAN!! OHOHOHOHOHO -- " (Chaos punts her into geocentric orbit)
(From said orbit): WHY DIDN'T YOU PUNT ME ALL THE WAY?!
Chaos smirks: Because I know the moon is EXACTLY where you wanna be, Tsukiyomi no Miko!!