navy = document to be MSTed
Cue less than normal opening music
Anonymous singers:
In the not so distant future
About 2000 B.C.
There was a writer named Silent Steel
one of many, you see
She was done with her job for the day
Getting her next chapter underway
Making a villain vanish without a trace
When her brother got bored and shot her into space!
(Bro, I am going to kill you!)
The Anonymous singers hid behind part of the scenery
Beast of Chaos:
I'll send her horrid Fanfics
Some of the worst I can find (falala)
She'll have to sit and read them all
It just might fix her mind (falala)
(It's horribly twisted, ya know)
Anonymous singers:
Now keep in mind she can't control
when the fanfics begin or end
Because she used those special parts
To keep from being blown up by her friends!
- Slayers Roll call! -
Xeros! (I got the camera!)
Zelgadis! (Give that back, you purple fruitcake!)
Rezo! (What am I doing here?)
Lina! (Grrrr ...)
FIIIRRREEBAAALLL!!!
If you're wondering how she eats and breathes
And other science facts (falala)
Keep in mind it's just a fic
And you really should relax
For Maniac Slayers Theatre 2.34k!
fade out music, and Anonymous singers split to go practice their lounge act
{Satellite of Missing Sanity}
The view is currently of main room of the satellite, a rather spacious area with the communications console, a couch, a large tub of yarn of many colors, and oodles of HUGE pillows. There is a linen closet stocked with blankets, sheets, and orange jumpsuits. And a brown-haired woman semi-conscious on the floor.
Silent Steel: Urrrgh ... They didn't have to hit me so hard. It wasn't MY fault my idiot of a brother sent them up here.
Xeros: Of course we had to hit you.
Silent Steel: Where did you just come from?
Xeros: Sore wa himitsu desu!
She glares at Xeros as she stands up. And then slaps him.
Silent Steel: Say that again and I will hurt you.
Xeros: You promise?
Silent Steel: Why do I even bother to talk to you?
Zelgadis: (walks into the room and watches silently)
Xeros: I'm so cute?
Zelgadis: (snarls)
Silent Steel: Xeros, all of us would much rather kill you than touch you, you masochistic Mazoku.
A light on the communications console flashes, catching the attention of everyone in the room. And to catch the attention of everyone not in the main room, an ear-splitting alarm goes off. The last few members of the trapped cast, Lina and Rezo, stumble into the main area with their hands on their ears.
Zelgadis: (hits the button) Now I know the Beast designed that to be annoying.
Everyone removes their hands fromt their ears in relief as the alarm cuts off, but then the Beast of Chaos's face appears on the communications screen. And is greeted with a unanimous response of raspberries and bird-flips.
Beast of Chaos: That's not very nice.
Zelgadis: So's sticking us up here with no way down, let alone up here with her and Xeros.
Silent Steel: I resent that. I'm nowhere near as bad as Xeros.
Lina: You sure about that?
Silent Steel: Do I deliberately expose you to my private life without warning?
Lina: True. Ok, you're not as bad as Xeros.
Zelgadis: You simply have a better understanding of perverted than is normal.
Silent Steel: Hush. (turns to face the comm) All right bro, what is it?
Beast of Chaos: Ummm ... it might take longer than I originally thought to get you down from there ...
Silent Steel: ... why?
Beast of Chaos: I was trying to upload some stories to keep you guys from being bored ... and they clogged the entire server. The computer can't do anything else until all the fics are sent.
Silent Steel: ... when I get home, I am going to kill you.
Lina: You're going to kill him?! ... torture would be a much better response.
Beast of Chaos: The rest of the world still thinks I'm human. In any case, there's a set of controls that will let you skip over a fic if you don't like it.
Zelgadis: (brightening a bit) Oh? Where?
Beast of Chaos: It's the blue panel below the screen in the theatre room.
Zelgadis: (reverts back to normal depression) Oh that's just peachy. Smooth move Steel.
Silent Steel: Don't pin this one on me you turkeys. You were attacking me.
Xeros: (grinning smugly) And it was fun.
Rezo: You only think that because she ran you through that paper shredder.
Beast of Chaos: (looking nauseated as one of his eyes turns a weird shade of yellow) Just what are you guys talking about? Silent Steel: These four, (gestures at Zelgadis, Lina, Xeros, and Rezo) Were more thana little peeved to find themselves here, and decided to take it out on me. In that little theatre room. We still have yet to get all the stains from Xeros's blood out ofthe carpeting.
Xeros: (belches)
Lina: Do that again Xeros, and I am going to turn you into a little pile of ash.
Xeros: Ooo! Again?
Zelgadis: Shut. Up.
Xeros: (pouts)
Beast of Chaos: In any case, the server's stuck. It has to send up all the fics before I can use it to bring you all home, and since the cache up there can't really hold all that much, it's waiting until it can send up the next fic. The only way for this to get to work again is for you guys to read those fics.
Rezo: (very sarcastic) Joy.
Beast of Chaos: I don't want to know. I've set the zip program to unzipping the file, so the fic should be ready soon.
The comm screen went completely black as the Beast of Chaos terminated the conversation. Not much longer, an alarm went off and a set of lights started flashing.
All: AAAAGGH!! We've got fanfic sign!!
Everyone heads into the theatre, Rezo following last because he paused to slam the button with his staff.
(Theatre doors)
Door 1 (It's an Oscarfic. Lina screams, Dragu Slaves it and it vanishes in the explosion.)
Door 2 (It's made out of rubber tires and a giant toilet seat lid. The lid is lifted, and everyone proceeds onward)
Door 3 (This door is a green drawbridge which falls down and squishes Xeros into a fine paste. His gleeful giggles can be heard as the others rush on through.)
Door 4 (A large poster of Dilgear blocks the way. The newly re-formed Xeros sets fire to it and himself in the process.)
Door 5 (The drawbridge falls, only to be caught by Zel before it can hit anyone. He sets it down and the group passes on through.)
Door 6 (It's a hole in the ground hidden beneath a illusionary rug.)
Door 7 (A screen door with a toy cat tied to it. While only a toy, the cat has been ruthlessly slashed open and all the stuffing yanked out to lie in a heap on the floor.)
(Theatre)
A rather large screen dominated one wall, and a set of chairs stood before it. Lina claimed the chair at the far left, Zel sat next to her, Silent Steel sat next to him, then Xeros, and finally Rezo on the end.
Silent Steel: I guess we're all here.
Hi!
All: GOODBYE!
This story is about the Sailor Senshi vs. The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. ThatOs right, thereOll be a lot of fighting going on. Some of
Xeros: Fighting? Ooo! Does anybody get their heads chopped off?
Zelgadis: Wait and see, you Psycho.
Xeros: I don't have anything to do with chocolate sauce.
All - Xeros: Huh?
Silent Steel: Obscure reference number one.
this stuff is pretty graphic, so proceed at your own risk. IOm in a
Lina: What's with the funny symbols?
Silent Steel: Different computer programs.
Lina: Ok ... now what's a computer program?
Zelgadis: We'll explain it later.
violent mood today. I planned this to be a funny story, but I decided to take the serious approach too. If you love Sailor Moon and hate the Power Rangers, then you must read this!
Silent Steel: Well, I hate both, so I don't want to read this.
Lina: Tough. If I have to stay here, you have to stay here.
Silent Steel: Damn.
Xeros: (blows a raspberry at Steel)
Silent Steel: Do that again and I'll stuff you in a cup.
Xeros: That sounds promising.
Silent Steel: Leave me out of your life plans, you weirdo.
This is rated R by me.
Xeros: And I give it the rating of pathetic.
Silent Steel: Calm down, Xeros. It hasn't started yet.
Contains violence and adult language. Yeah, you hentai wish that this had adult situations too^_^.
SSteel + Xeros: Actually, we don't.
Rezo: That's a rarity, you two not wanting lemons.
Silent Steel: The market has been overwhelmed with Sailor Moon lemons.
All: Eeew.
Mail me at: kakizake@aol.com
Xeros: Hey, Steel, you know how to make letter bombs?
Silent Steel: Sorry, no.
Xeros: Damn.
Visit my homepage at: http://www.geopages.com/Tokyo/2109/
Xeros: Ahhh ... NO!
*****
Rezo: (singing in a bad italian accent) Looook at ze skies, they have stars in their eyes, and they call it bellllanotae ...
All - Rezo: (scoot away from Rezo, hands over their ears)
Rezo: Hey!
OSailor Moon vs. The Mighty Morphin Power RangersO
by: Mark Nazal (aka Jubei)
*****
Lina: Starlight, star bright,
Silent Steel: First star I see tonight.
Xeros: I wish I may, I wish I might,
Rezo: Get free of this fanfic!
Zelgadis: Didn't work.
All: Damn!!
[Four ordinary girls, along with their two faithful friends, Luna and Artemis, are walking down the streets of Tokyo.]
Usagi: Oh what a day! I just want to get home and eat!
Xeros: (Usagi) My little brother should be about done, and this is the first time I've ever used that honey glaze! I want to see how he turns out!
Lina: (turns green) You are sick.
Rei: YouOre always hungry! I wonOt be surprised at all if you canOt fit into your costume.
Zelgadis: That would be a blessing, as we wouldn't have to deal with this fic.
Usagi: Wahhh! Why do you have to be so mean! Wahhh! [Tears flow like a faucet from Usagi-chanOs eyes.]
Xeros: And snot like a river from her nose ...
Zelgadis: (gets up, pulls out his sword, and drives the sword into Xeros's gut until only the hilt is sticking out)
Xeros: Arigatou. Would you mind leaving it there?
Zelgadis: (pulls out the sword and stalks back to his seat)
Lina: Dark mood today, Zel-kun?
Minako: Rei! Apologize right now!
Rezo: (Minako) Or I will have to punish you with my Venus Love Me Chain!
Silent Steel: (Rei) Oh please do punish me Mistress! Please do!
All - SS: (scoot away from Silent Steel)
Silent Steel: (innocently surprised) What?
Rei: Oh all right! [To Usagi] IOm sorry Usagi. I didnOt mean it.
[A scream is heard in the distance]
Lina: IT'S GODZILLA!!
Zelgadis: It's the opening night of Rocky XXVII!
Xeros: I think a tourist just found out what their lunch was made of.
Rezo: Akane Tendo's cooking?
Xeros: Not that bad, I don't think. They would be unconscious if she had been cooking.
Luna: Hey, that sounds like Naru! We better check it out!
Lina: Who's Naru?
Silent Steel: I have no idea.
All: Right!
*****
Xeros: (announcer) New in Hollywood! Are they human? Perhaps they're aliens! But they're certaintly stars!
Zelgadis: And the Spice Girls they are not.
[The group runs towards the screams. They stop dead in their tracks to find...]
Lina: The list of ingredients for McDonald's secret sauce!
Xeros: That was lame.
Lina: I don't hear you coming up with anything better!
Xeros: The great god Be'avis had demanded them to show him their boobies.
Rezo: (hits Xeros on the back of head with his staff) That was tacky.
Usagi: Oh my God! Who are those people? What are they doing to Naru? Why are they dressed so weird?
Silent Steel: (snorts) They're dressed weird?! (cackles madly)
All - SSteel: (backs away from Silent Steel)
[One of the figures who is dressed in red turns around and notices
the four girls watching them.]
Red Ranger: Hey! WhoOs there?
Xeros: BATMAN!
Zelgadis: Your worst nightmare.
Rezo: Your mother-in-law.
White Ranger: [To Naru] All right! I know that you work for Lord Zed. You better confess!
All: (blinkblink)
Xeros: I thought MMPR was US based.
Silent Steel: It is. I have no idea why he switched to pidgin english.
Lina: Whitie boy needs an english class.
Naru: I donOt work for anyone by
that name! Leave me alone! Let go!
Usagi: No one messes with my friends. Moon Star Power, Make up
Ami: Yeah, and any friend of UsagiOs is a friend of mine! Mercury
Star Power, Make up!
Rei: That goes double for me! Mars Star Power, Make up!
Makoto: I donOt care, I just want to bash some heads! Jupiter Star
Power, Make up!
Minako: IOll fight in the name of love! Venus Star Power, make up!
Rezo: Oh lord ...
Lina: ... that is ...
Zelgadis: ... so LAME!
Silent Steel: (shrugs) I personally think the creators of the show were on helium when they wrote it. Don't kibbitz too much, some of of your spell names are a little stupid as well.
Rezo: At least the slightly stupid ones serve the purpose of describing the spell.
Silent Steel: True.
[The Rangers watch in awe as the four teenagers transform into the
Xeros: (perks up) Hey, is this the japanese or american transformation sequence?
Silent Steel: My guess would be American, since they're fighting the MMPR in this thing.
Xeros: Damn!
Lina: I'm afraid to ask just why you wanted to know that.
Xeros: In the japanese one, the scouts are nude.
All - Xeros: Hentai namagomi Mazoku! (hit Xeros with various blunt objects)
Xeros: (grins) Arigatou.
Sailor Senshi. All the Power RangersO costumes, except for the Pink RangerOs, stretch out an inch.]
All: ...
Silent Steel: Did that make any sense to any of you?
All: (shake their heads no)
Pink: Huh? ItOs the Sailor Senshi! Oh my God!
Xeros: (Kyle) ... they killed Kenny! You $%#@$%@!
All - SS&X: ... what?
Silent Steel: That's it, no more South Park for you, Xeros.
Moon: For love and justice, I am the pretty sailor-suited soldier Sailor Moon! In the name of the moon...
All: (gag)
[All the Sailor Senshi strike a pose]
Mercury: In the name of Mercury!
Mars: In the name of Mars!
Jupiter: In the name of Jupiter!
Venus: Yeah! Me too!
Xeros: TTTHHPPT!
Lina: 'Yeah! Me too!'? Isn't she the oldest of the batch?
Silent Steel: Yup.
Lina: So why is she talking like a five year old?
Rezo: Smile and nod, Lina, smile and nod.
Senshi: We will punish you!
Xeros: (Rei) With our hideous singing voices!
Rezo: (Minako)By making you watch our show twenty-four hours a day!
Lina: (Usagi) You will have to buy my lunch!
Silent Steel: Man, that's appropriate coming from you Lina.
Lina: (growling) What. Did. You. SAY?!
Silent Steel: Oh, nothing. (whistles innocently)
Pink: [Notices the other RangersO OweirdO behavior] Hey, you guys
better calm down right now! We have to take these kids on and then
we must force that girl [points at Naru] to tell us where Lord ZedOs
base is at.
Red: [Shakes his head quickly] Uh, right! LetOs teach those brats a lesson!
Yellow: Right! LetOs go!
[The Power Rangers strike a pose. Naru laughs suddenly.]
Rezo: I think that is a most appropriate response for her to make.
Moon: Naru! WhatOs so funny?
Naru: [still laughing] heh he, just look at you guys! Man, whoOs gonnaO
believe me when I tell everyone that I saw a bunch of costumed
freaks posing in the middle of Tokyo!!
Xeros: Emphasis on the freak part of that sentence.
Lina: Isn't this a case of the pot calling the kettle black?
[Big sweat drops form on both the Sailor SenshiOs and the Power
RangersO heads]
Black: [To Naru] You better shut up! After I teach those brats a
lesson; IOll spank a confession out of you next!
Xero: Ooo! Kinky!
All - Xeros: ...
Mars: You jerk! Quit calling us brats! FIRE.....SSSSOOOOUUUULLLL!!!!!
[A big fireball is launched from Sailor MarsO fingers. The Rangers
jump quickly to avoid the attack.]
Lina: indignant That's it?! A glorified fireball?! That sucks!!
Silent Steel: This is a little kid's show. What else would you expect?
Zelgadis: Fire Soul is an astral plane attack, back at home. It does basically what it says.
Xeros: Crispy souls. YUMMY!!
Rezo: I am not going to ask.
Blue: What was that???
Rezo: Your belt breaking because of that last hostess cupcake, causing your pants to fall.
Zel: The sound of your little brain rattling in your skull!
Xeros: Damaramu!
Silent Steel: I wondered what happened to my 'Dragon Half' tape.
Xeros: At least Blue here hasn't pulled a sword from his forehead.
Venus: [Venus points at the Black Ranger] Crescent BEAM!!! [A beam
of light is emitted from VenusO finger]
Mercury: [Sailor Mercury makes a ball of bubbles] Shabon Spray! [she
spins around and launches the ball at The Blue Ranger]
Moon: [Sailor Moon removes her tiara] Moon Tiara action! [she
throws it at The Pink Ranger]
Jupiter: [An antenna appears above Sailor JupiterOs tiara] Supreme
THUNDER! [lightning crashes into Sailor Jupiter and she throws it at
the Yellow Ranger]
Mars: [Sailor Mars puts her hands together] FIRE SOUL! [a fireball
flies through the air aimed at the Red Ranger]
All: BLEAH! Lame!
[The combined attack misses their targets and it smashes into the ground. The power was so great that the Power Rangers fall hard on their rears. They quickly get up and dust themselves off.]
Lina: Utterly useless. A spell is worthless if you can't hit the broad side of a barn!
Silent Steel: Amelia seems to do fairly well.
Zelgadis: She can aim, however annoying she is.
White: Woah! I guess weOll have to use our weapons too! [He whips out a sword]
Rezo: Not using an advantage cripples your standing in a battle.
Zelgadis: Just more proof on just how stupid this show is.
[The other Rangers brandish their weapons]
Xeros: And the scouts blast them while they pose, killing them.
Silent Steel: Rooting for the scouts?
Xeros: No. I just want this stupid fic to be OVER!
Red: All right! Come on! [he readies his sword]
Xeros: opens his mouth to say something
Silent Steel: Xeros, if you say that, I have three words you should consider: sensory deprivation tank.
Xeros: his eyes go wide, and his mouth shuts with a snap
Jupiter: [laughing] Hah ha ha! You big freak! Sparkling Wide Pressure!!!
Lina: A definite case of the pot calling the kettle black.
[Sailor Jupiter throws a ball of lightning at the Red Ranger. The Red Ranger bats the energy ball back at Sailor Jupiter. Sailor Jupiter jumps back and avoids the energy ball]
All: TTHHHPPT!!
Jupiter: Damn you!
Xeros: That's pathetic. I'd rather be watching Dragonball!
Silent Steel: I hated getting my Dragonball Z sugar-coated. 'Another dimension' my ass!
Rezo: sarcastic Isn't censorship great?
White: [to other Rangers] Hey guys! I have an idea! LetOs split up and take those girls on! TheyOre too strong when they are together!
Silent Steel: No duh, einstein.
Zelgadis: It is really lame when you can't defeat five schoolgirls with time-wasting magical attacks.
Rangers: OK!
White: Hey Sailor Moon! Come and get me! [he runs into an alley]
Moon: Grrr, IOm too tired for all this running around. [she starts
after the White Ranger]
[The Yellow and Pink Rangers run into the AIC building with Naru as a
hostage]
Xeros: Good. Maybe they'll kill the wimpy little twat.
Red: Sailor Mars is a big wimp!!
Lina: sarcastic I see we're pulling out the heavy-duty insults here.
Mars: IOll get you for that! [she chases him into an open field]
Lina: (Rei) It's target practice time!
Blue: Hey Mercury! You know what? I got a 100% on that Calculus test! Ha ha! I beat you!
Xeros: I'm not going to dignify that stupidity with a response.
Mercury: [Enraged] You what? SHINING AQUA ILLUSION!!!!! [The Blue Ranger is engulfed by the water, he falls to the ground, unconscience and lifeless]
Lina: How can he be unconscious when he's dead?
Silent Steel: How can he be dead when he's unconscious?
Zelgadis: How long can this stupid debate last?
Lina & SSteel: Five seconds.
Venus: Tee hee. I guess no one told him about AmiOs temper. [starts laughing louder]
Rezo: sarcastic What a lovely way to get killed. Ignore the enemy to laugh at his fallen comrades.
Xeros: I'd rather kill them both.
[The Black Ranger appears behind a hysterical Minako-chan, he taps her on the shoulder, and...]
Xeros: Why didn't he just kill her when she was distracted, that's what I'd like to know!
Zelgadis: Another advantage wasted.
Venus: [stops laughing] What? CanOt you see that IOm...
[The Black Ranger delivers a big roundhouse kick which lands on
Sailor VenusO face, she falls face first into the ground, a drop of
blood falls from her lips]
Venus: [slowly getting up] Why you!
Black: Come and get me babe! [he runs quickly to the left]
Xeros: 'babe'? Pardon me, but aren't the scouts a little young for that?
Lina: You just made absolutely no sense at all.
Xeros: It's just that it's a term frequently used for a sexually aquirable female that is attractive. The scouts are what, fourteen at most?
All: .... ew.
Venus: You wont get away from me! VENUS LOVE ME CHAIN!!!!
Rezo: No thank you.
[a gigantic chain of hearts forms around Sailor Venus, she points her arm out and the chain is launched at the Black Ranger.]
Zelgadis: Looks stupid ...
Black: [the chain wraps around his neck] UURRK!! [He falls to the ground]
Lina: ... but useful. Now hopefully she'll strangle him.
Venus: [whips out a compact] You, you damaged my face! ERRR! [ Venus pulls on the chain hard]
Rezo: Let's recap that, shall we? She summons a chain . .
Xeros: ... manages to wrap it around enemy's throat ...
Zelgadis: . . and promptly checks her face.
Guys: look towards Lina and Silent Steel Why is that?
Lina & SSteel: shrug
Lina: Vanity, I guess.
Silent Steel: Is it just me, or does Mina's last line sound a lot like Vega's during that fight with Chun Li in the animated movie?
All - SSteel: Like who?
Silent Steel: Nevermind.
Black: [coughing] IOm [cough]... IOm sorry!
Venus: Huh? You are? [she loosens the chain a little, but she still
grips the chain hard]
Black: Ha! Fooled Oya!
[The Black Ranger pulls on the chain and sends Sailor Venus flying
towards him. He jumps forward]
Venus: [screams] AAAHHH!
[The Black Ranger meets Sailor Venus in the air and kicks her in the
stomach. More blood flies out of VenusO mouth. Venus falls to the
ground while the Black Ranger lands gracefully on his feet]
Silent Steel: TTHHHPPTT!!
Rezo: There had to have been a way to compound that down into only a few sentences.
Black: [turns around] Heh, you think that you can beat me, eh? Boy, were you wrong! Hahaha!
Lina: Do the power rangers normally gloat this much?
Silent Steel: Nope.
[Suddenly, a flash of lightning fills the sky. The Black Ranger is
startled by this and is startled again by the scream in the distance]
Jupiter: SPARKLING WIDE PRESSURE!!!!
All: various gagging noises at the stupidity of the spell name
[The energy ball hits The Black Ranger, he stumbles back]
Rezo: ... falling of the cliff and plummeting to his doom on the acidic rocks below.
Zelgadis: ... and trips on the edge of the dumpster, falling in only to impale himself on a set of broken chicken bones.
Silent Steel: whispers to Lina Dark, neh?
Lina: whispers back I guess it's a family trait.
Black: OW! That was rough! IOve had it with this. [looks to the sky]
I need Mastodon....
[Sailor Venus jumps on The Black RangerOs back, she puts her finger
on his head]
Xeros: Ah, but which finger did she use?
Rezo: I'd hit you, but I know you like it, and to be honest, your riffing of the fic is much more interesting than the fic.
Xeros: Really?
Rezo: Just barely.
Black: Hey, let go! I didnOt mean to hurt you. Honest!
Venus: YouOre too late! CRESCENT BBBBEEEEAAAAMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[a flash of light fills the Black RangerOs head. His helmet suddenly
explodes. Chunks of his brain fall to the ground. Venus releases the
now deceased Power Ranger]
All: O_o
Zelgadis: Whoa ...
Xeros: COOL!! Although, his brains would pretty much be liquid at that point.
Lina: Shut up. I did not need a mental picture of that.
Jupiter: EWW! Damn it Minako! Did you have to kill him?
Silent Steel: Class, can we say out of character?
All - SSteel: Out of character.
Silent Steel: Very good.
Venus: [slowly turns her head towards Sailor Jupiter] I... I... I didnOt mean to! I just thought that the Crescent Beam would knock him unconscience, not kill him!
Zelgadis: Yeah, right.
Jupiter: Whatever! [Notices Sailor Mercury run into a building]
WhereOs she going? IOm going in after her. You help the others.
Venus: OK! [runs towards an alley, Artemis and Luna follow close
behind]
*****
Rezo: ... what? Do you expect me to have a star-related joke for all of these?
[in another part of the city...]
Mars: IOm gonna get you! [she misses the Red Ranger with her
roundhouse]
Zelgadis: Gah ... obviously the author doesn't know a thing about fighting.
Silent Steel: Or the proper use of grammer.
Red: Ha! Your martial arts skills leave a lot to be desired! [he back flips and lands 20 feet away from an infuriated Sailor Mars]
Rezo: A roundhouse punch is not martial arts.
Xeros: It's not marital arts either.
Zelgadis: That pun was incredibly stupid.
Xeros: Thank you.
Mars: Dammit! Why canOt I hit him?
Red: Ocuz you suck! Ha ha ha!
Silent Steel: Was that supposed to be funny?
Lina: Oh, ha. Ha. Ha. Lame.
Xeros: This entire fic is lame.
Mars: You Jerk! [she jumps at The Red Ranger and punches his face]
Red: [stumbling] ERRR! You BITCH!!!
Rezo: And both of those shows are for kids?
Silent Steel: The author is taking the term 'artistic license' to a dangerous extreme.
Xeros: So now the scouts are really swearing like sailors?
Zelgadis: More like the rangers are more like sailors than the scouts.
[He kicks Sailor Mars in the stomach, then he put his hands together
and bashes Sailor MarsO back three times before she finally jumps away from the Red RangerOs
attack]
Mars: OW! WHY YOU!
Xeros: It takes longer than that to recover your breath after being hit in the gut ... if they were human.
Rezo: And you would be the expert on this.
Silent Steel: It is debatable if the scouts are human.
[she gives The Red Ranger a Mortal Kombat style uppercut. He is
launched 30 feet into the air. She jumps in the air to meet the Red
Ranger and delivers a spin kick to his face]
Red: [plummets to the ground, he quickly gets up] YouOre pretty
tough, but I still got some tricks up my sleeve! [he pulls out his
sword and runs at Sailor Mars]
Rezo: So far, Scout 3, Ranger 4.
Zelgadis: And audience zero.
Lina: snores
Mars: Dammit! [she dodges the strike from the Red Ranger and back
flips 10 feet away]
Red: [charging at Sailor Mars] YouOre in for it now! [he slashes at
Sailor Mars twice. Both strikes from his blade gives Sailor Mars a
cut in her breast and her stomach]
Rezo: At least he didn't do the ecchi cut-away-her-costume scene.
All: AMEN!!
Mars: [clutching her bleeding stomach] OW! Damn! That hurts you
bastard! How would you like it if someone started slashing you with
a sword?
[Sailor Mars jumps at the Red Ranger and snatches his sword.]
Red: [surprised] What the?
Zelgadis: She grabbed your sword, you scum.
[She slashes the Red Ranger in his chest, arms, and legs. The Red
Ranger reels back in agony as Sailor Mars continues to slash him.]
Red: Give me that! [he grabs his sword back from Sailor Mars]
Mars: Uh-oh! I better get out of here!
She jumps backwards 30 feet away from the Red RangerOs reach and
starts to run away. She stops suddenly and realizes that she can
finish this fight. Sailor Mars turns around and looks at the Red
Ranger]
Silent Steel: This is just more proof that the author has rather limited writing skills.
Red: What is it now? HavenOt you hurt me enough already? Just go away! URK! [clutches his arm in pain]
Mars: IOm gonna finish this now! BURNING MANDALA!
Rezo: gags
Silent Steel: What's wrong, Rezo-honey? Xeros snickers Say one word Xeros and it's the chamber for you.
Rezo: Do you know what a mandala is?
Silent Steel: A type of ward, right? ... oh. I see.
Red: Oh my God! What is she doing?
Zelgadis: Frying your ass, apparently.
[a stream of fire surrounds Sailor Mars.]
Red: IOve never seen anything like this! [he readies his sword]
Mars: Say good-bye, creep! [she launches a hundred fire rings at the
Red Ranger]
Red: ItOs not time for me to die yet! [he jumps forward and cuts
through the fire rings with his sword]
Mars: WHAT? I better do something quick! FIRE SOUL!
Lina: Apparently, there are some words missing from the author's vocabulary.
Silent Steel: As well as all common sense. A 'had' would have worked wonders in that previous line.
[The Red Ranger cuts through the Fire Rings]
Red: Whew! Glad thatOs... WHAT THE?
[the fire ball engulfs the Red Ranger. He screams loudly as his
helmet melts off and exposes his melting face]
Red: Oh no!! AAAHHHH! [his jaw falls off. The rest of his body burns
away.]
Mars: Sayonara baka! [she bows]
*****
Rezo: That is way too high a rating for this fic.
[in an alley...]
Xeros: Steel-chan, did you bring in the pillows?
Silent Steel: Don't call me that. Yah, I brought pillows, and some blankets.
Lina: Nap time! grabs pillow and blanket
All: finds comfortable positions to nap in
Moon: OWWW! Hey, that hurt!
White: It was supposed to hurt, you dope! [He charges at her]
[Sailor Moon screams and dodges the White RangerOs attack]
All: snores
Moon: IOm gonna finish this now! [she whips out a big scepter]
MOON SPIRAL HEART ATTACK!!!
[A gigantic heart appears and is launched at the White Ranger]
White: [Jumps straight up in the air] Man, thatOs the biggest heart
that IOve seen in my life!
Xeros: wakes up Sna-wha? Who? What what?
Moon: Ooooh! Why didnOt he just stand still like everyone else did in the past???
Xeros: Maybe 'cause he doesn't want to die?
[The White Ranger lands on a building]
Xeros: pulls a siren out of his pocket and sets it off
All - Xeros: jerk awake AAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!
Xeros: puts away siren If I have to be awake for this, you have to be awake for it too.
White: I better think of something fast!
[Suddenly...]
Zelgadis: Everybody died. The end.
Lina: You really want to get out of here, don't you?
Xeros: Can you blame him?
Venus: CRESCENT BEAM!
[The beam grazes the White RangerOs shoulder]
Xeros: So the beam is now a cow?
Lina: And the ranger has turned into grass.
White: Oww! Hey! Who did that? [He drops to one knee]
Venus: Sailor Moon! Are you OK?
Lina: (Usagi) No, I'm not OK!! I'm stuck in this stupid fanfic!!
Moon: Yeah, IOm just peachy. [notices the Pink Ranger jump behind
Sailor Venus] VENUS! LOOK OUT!
Venus: Huh? [turns around]
Pink: IOll kill you for what you did to The Black Ranger! [starts
shooting arrows at Sailor Venus]
Xeros: Are either of these two groups normally lethal?
Silent Steel: Nope. Neither do they swear.
Lina: OOC strikes again!
[Sailor Venus jumps and avoids the Pink RangerOs attacks. She lands
on the roof of another building.]
Venus: Why is everyone sneaking up on me? Why canOt they just fight
me face to face?
Xeros: Because your rear view is much better than the view of your front.
Zelgadis: I'm not going to touch that statement.
Pink: SHUT UP! IOM GONNAO KILL YOU! [she jumps at Sailor Venus]
Artemis: IOll stop her! [he jumps at the angry Pink Ranger]
Luna: Artemis! DonOt! YouOll get killed!
Rezo: Die kitty, DIE!
Silent Steel: A tad vindictive, Rezo-honey?
Rezo: I hate talking cats of the Sailor Moon variety.
Xeros: Sickeningly sweet and smug.
[Artemis jumps onto the Pink Ranger and starts scratching her arms]
Pink: Cut it out, you furball! [she swings her bow and hits Artemis
off her arm. Artemis lands on his feet]
Artemis: IOm not through yet! [he jumps at the Pink Ranger]
Pink: Oh, I think that you are through! [she shoots an arrow at
Artemis. The arrow penetrates his little body. Blood spews from
his mouth and sides]
All: cheer
Luna, Moon, Venus: ARTEMIS!!
[Artemis crashes into the ground. A pool of blood forms around the
corpse]
Xeros: sings Dead kitties ... aren't much fun! Tigger died last fall, he's still lying in the hall, dead kitties . . aren't much fun!
Lina: That was just sick.
Venus: [jumps from the building and lands next to her dead friend]
Artemis! Why? [she glares at the Pink Ranger] You killed my cat!
Now youOll pay!
Pink: ThatOs for killing the Black Ranger! Now, itOs your turn to die!
Moon: I donOt think so! MOON PRINCESS HALATION!!
Xeros: Isn't that a type of gum disease?
Silent Steel: Halitosis is a gum disease, and one of the primary reasons for bad breath.
[The blast hits the Pink Ranger]
Pink: NNNNNOOOOOO!! [her body turns into ashes]
Venus: Thank you, Usagi. [tears flow from her eyes]
Moon: [blows on her scepter, then she starts twirling it] No problem.
Venus: [smiles back at Usagi, then she looks back down at Artemis]
Oh Artemis. Why did you do it? Why?
Luna: [tears fill her eyes] Good-bye, my friend.
Lina: (Luna) ... I will have your body stuffed and on display.
Zelgadis: (Rei) ... you have now become a lunch special!
Xeros: (Mina) ... you will make an excellent pencil sharpener!
Rezo: (Luna) ... I will fulfill your wishes and have you buried with your collection of fried fish.
Silent Steel: And then Artemis was summarily, skinned, barbequed, and eaten by the Sailor Scouts as part of their native funeral rites.
Zelgadis: And that is basically what I said.
Silent Steel: Different connoitations.
*****
Rezo: And that rating is still too high for this fanfic.
[inside the AIC building...]
Mercury: Let Naru go! SHABON SPRAY!!!
Xeros: Just let them kill the little twat already!
[the blast hits the Yellow Ranger, but it didnOt hurt her]
Silent Steel: Well, Amy's attacks are mostly useless except as distractions or camoflauge.
Lina: Do we care?
Zelgadis: Not really.
Rezo: snores
Zelgadis: I think gramps has the right idea.
Yellow: Thanks! My suit needed a cleaning anyway. Now itOs my turn!
[she takes out two sais and starts twirling them] Eat this! [she
throws her sais at Sailor Mercury]
[the two sais fly over her head as she ducks behind a desk. They
pierce the wall behind Sailor Mercury and get stuck]
Mercury: Whew! Too close!
Yellow: You better get out from behind there or IOll kill your friend
here!
All - Rezo: PLEASE DO!!
Naru: No! Please! IOm too young to die!
Xeros: darkly No one is too young to die, as all are born dying from the grasp of time.
Lina: Getting at tad dark, aren't we.
Mercury: [analyzes the Yellow Ranger with her visor] Hmm. What if I... NO! That wonOt work! Wait a minute. IOVE GOT IT!
Lina: (amy) I'll moon her! That always works!
Zelgadis: Someone wake up gramps, his snoring is getting on my nerves.
Silent Steel: kisses Rezo awake
Zelgadis: Ugh. I did not need to see that.
[Sailor Mercury stands up from behind the desk]
Mercury: [She looks at the wall behind The Yellow Ranger] Oh no!
DonOt tell me that Lord Zed is here too! What am I going to do?
All: Wah-wah-waaaaa! LAME!!
Yellow: Lord Zed is here? Where? [She turns around]
Mercury: [retrieves one of the Yellow RangerOs sais] If my
calculations are correct, then maybe I can get her from here. [she
throws the sai at the Yellow RangerOs back]
[the sai penetrates the Yellow RangerOs back]
Yellow: ACK! [she falls onto a desk. She gets up and pulls the sai
from her back]
Zelgadis: Wouldn't she been in too much pain to move?
Lina: I guess this is another one of those smile and nod things.
Mercury: Uh-oh.
Yellow: Lord Zed wasnOt behind me! You liar! [she runs at Sailor
Mercury]
Xeros: (amy) No duh.
Lina: (amy imitating chichiri) Of course not no da.
Zelgadis: What?
Jupiter: SUPREME THUNDER!! [the lightning blast strikes The Yellow
Ranger and shocks her]
Mercury: Sailor Jupiter! Thank God itOs you!
Jupiter: No time to talk, just finish her off!
Mercury: Right! SHINING AQUA ILLUSION!!!!
[The water gushes from under the Yellow Ranger like a geyser. The
Yellow RangerOs body is crushed by the force of the water and the
hard ceiling. As the geyser stops, the Yellow Ranger falls to the
ground, dead]
All: YAAAYY!!
Silent Steel: The yellow ranger has been liquidated.
Lina: groans That joke was hideous.
Zelgadis: What's the count now?
Xeros: Lesse ... One is missing some cranial stuffing, one is now ash ... hmmm . . I'd say there's only one left.
All: FIC'S ALMOST OVER!!!
Jupiter: Heh, she was flat enough already. Come on Naru! LetOs get
out of here!
Naru: Just take me home, OK Sailor Senshi?
Silent Steel: (Naru) And when we get there, hehehehe ...
Lina: Steel!
Silent Steel: What?!
Mercury: You donOt need us anymore. Just run home now!
Naru: OK. Good-bye! And thanks! [Naru leaves the building and runs
home]
*****
Silent Steel: (cocketiel) I wanna see Starz!
All - SSteel: What?
Silent Steel: Nevermind.
[as the duo leave the AIC building, they notice that the rest of the
Sailor Senshi were waiting for them outside the building]
Mars: [clutching her bleeding breast] What took you guys so long?
Xeros: drools
Lina: You're disgusting.
Rezo: You're just now noticing this?
Mercury: We had a pest to exterminate.
Jupiter: Yeah! That was one huge rat in there!
Silent Steel: Unfortunately, you let it go.
Lina: They let Naru go.
Silent Steel: That's what I said.
Rezo: snickers
Moon: OK, enough of that, letOs get out of here.
Venus: Wait! Not until we kill the rest of the Power Rangers! [she
clenches her fists tight]
All: Oooo ... vindictive.
Jupiter: Minako? That doesnOt sound like you at all! What happened?
Moon: The Pink Ranger killed Artemis. There is no way that heOs
coming back. [Venus starts crying again, Sailor Mars tries to
comfort her]
All: Wuss!
Mercury: I thought that we got all of them. WhoOs left?
White: I AM!
Rezo: Didn't he get killed?
Xeros: thinks back Nope. Unfortunatly.
Rezo: Damn.
Senshi: [turns around] Huh? WhatOs that?
Silent Steel: Another plothole in this fic.
Xeros: The sound of their hamsters dying from overexertion.
[the ground starts to rumble and shake. a gigantic Tiger Zord appears from the mountains]
Zelgadis: Just what the %$#^ is a Zord?
Rezo: A rather stupid-looking robot piloted by a human.
Xeros: A rather idiotically designed robot that merges with four others to create a humanoid robot that fights like the human pilots do instead of becoming more efficient.
Silent Steel: And it rips off another, much better done show, Voltron.
Zelgadis: In other words, this show is a piece of $#*^?
Rezo: Indubitably.
White: Now that I have my White Tiger Zord, there is nothing that can stop me! HA HA HA!!!
Lina: Traditional villain gloating.
Rezo: I didn't do that.
Lina: You were a weird type of insane. That, and I spelled out your plan instead.
Rezo: Thank you for that, by the way.
Silent Steel: You are weird. gives Rezo a noogie
Rezo: Hey!
Silent Steel: Hay is the first step of horse puckey.
Mars: That thing is huge! What are we going to do?
Xeros: Roll over and die.
All: WE WISH!!
Moon: Ami! Use your computer to find a weak spot!
Mercury: Roger!
Zelgadis: (roger) Leave me out of this stupid fic!
Silent Steel: That was utterly unfunny, you know.
Moon: The rest of us will keep that thing busy! OK! LetOs GO! Moon tiara ACTION!
Lina: Moon frisbee, you mean. snorts
Mars: BURNING MANDALA!
All: groan
Jupiter: Sparkling Wide Pressure!
Venus: CRESCENT BEAM!!!!!
Rezo: I get the feeling they like the sound of english words, and use those without really bothering with finding out their proper use.
Silent Steel: gives Rezo a quick kiss Sugar, you got it right on the dot.
Zelgadis: makes disgusted noises
[the combined blast knocks the Tiger Zord down, but it quickly gets up and starts to attack]
All: singing I get knocked down, but I get up again, no one's gonna keep me down! I get knocked down ...
White: Try this on for size! [the Tiger Zord swipes at Sailor Jupiter
with its claw and knocks her into the AIC building]
Jupiter: [her back hits the brick structure] Ugh! [she falls and lands
in a trashcan]
All: YES!!
Xeros: Let's hope she stays there!
Mars: Makoto! BURNING MANDALA!!
[the fire rings stun the Tiger Zord, but only for a few seconds]
White: Nice try! Now itOs my turn! [the Tiger Zord swipes at Sailor
Mars, but she dodges the attack easily]
Mars: FIRE SOUL!
Xeros: (Rei) Fire in the hole!
Zelgadis: (Rei) Rock n' Roll!
Lina: Boys, stop it with the stupid rhymes.
[the fire ball penetrates the Tiger ZordOs armor, but the White
Ranger quickly puts the fire out]
Moon: Ami-chan! Did you find the weak spot yet?
Mercury: IOve almost got it, just keep him busy a little longer.
Silent Steel:(amy) If I wait long enough, maybe he'll eat you all! cackles
Rezo: turns and looks at Zelgadis We're not the only ones being dark here.
Zelgadis: She's a psycho. That's normal behavior for her.
Silent Steel: holds plunger-gun so that the head of the loaded plunger is less than an inch from Zelgadis's head
Zelgadis: See what I mean?
Moon: Hurry up! MOON SPIRAL HEART ATTACK!
Silent Steel: fires gun. The plunger sticks to the side of Zelgadis's head
[the giant heart hits the Tiger Zord. The Zord is knocked down]
Lina: pulls the plunger off Zel's head. Steel, you are a weird, weird person.
White: ThatOs it! ItOs time for the Tiger Zord to transform!
[the White Ranger sticks his sword into the control panel. The Tiger
Zord begins transforming]
Xeros: And then blows up, it's circuitry fried from the damage inflicted by the sword.
Mars: What are we going to do? That thing can destroy Godzilla!
Xeros: (godzilla) RRREEEEAAAAAAAAAGGGHHH!!!
Others: back away from Xeros
White: Now you die! [he pulls an orb from the collection behind him and sticks it into a slot]
Zelgadis: ... a round object into a slot ... unless that orb is damn small, that's a physical impossibility.
[the Tiger Zord fires a Lightning bolt at the Sailor Senshi. Everyone
but Sailor Moon was able to dodge the attack]
Moon: AAAAAHH! [her body crashes to the ground]
Mars: Sailor Moon! Are you OK?
[Sailor Moon doesnOt respond]
All: singing Ding dong the witch is dead ...
Venus: VENUS LOVE ME CHAIN!
Lina: whacks Xeros over the head with the plunger before he can say anything
Xeros: OW! What was that for?!
Lina: What you were about to say.
[the chain wraps around the Tiger Zord. The Tiger Zord grabs the
chain and pulls it, sending Sailor Venus in the air]
Venus: AAAAAAHHHH! Not again!
[The Tiger Zord swats Sailor Venus down into the ground, the force
of the blow breaks Sailor VenusO arm. Meanwhile, Sailor Jupiter
arises from the smelly Trashcan]
Xeros: C'mon, kill a scout already!
Mars: NO! Not you too Minako!
Jupiter: [notices that Sailors Moon and Venus are down] Oh no!
Usagi! Minako! What did that bastard do to you? [she looks at the
Tiger Zord] You! [she clenches her fists as lightning begins to
surround her]
White: You again? This time, you are going to stay dead!
All: We wish!
Jupiter: [ignores the White RangerOs comment] SPARKLING... [the lightning surrounding her increases as her rage increases] WIDE... [the surrounding lightning surges through her body and into her hand, condensing into one, powerful ball of electricity] PRESSURE!!!!! [she throws the ball of electricity at the Tiger Zord]
Silent Steel: Flaming Dragon Punch!
Xeros: And you say I watch too much Dragon Half?
White: Ha! Do you think that your powers will stop the White Tiger
Zord? [the Tiger Zord lifts its left arm to block the energy ball]
[the energy ball hits the Tiger ZordOs arm and completely destroys
the left side of the Tiger ZordOs body. WhateverOs left of the Tiger
Zord crashes to the muddy ground and ignites in flames]
Silent Steel: O.o Whoa ... MAJOR Dragon Half flashback.
Xeros: I was expecting something like that. However, the Tiger zord is not the the sure-kill sword, Demonslayer of hit points.
Lina: Just what the *$## are you talking about?
Jupiter: YA TA! [she raises her arm and basks in the glory]
Mars: YA TA ZE!!
Xeros: (lufa) Banzai Minka! Banzai!
Silent Steel: You do that too well.
Lina: annoyed Can someone please tell me what they're talking about?!
White: [emerging from the rubble] My Tiger Zord! How...? [he grabs
his face in disbelief]
Mars: YouOre the one who caused all of this pain!
FFFFFIIIIIRRRRREEEEEE SSSSOOOOOOUUUUUUULLLLL!!!
[A huge fireball is thrown at the injured White Ranger. The fire hits
him and lights him up like a candle. The White RangerOs body quickly
turns into ashes]
[Sailor Moon and Sailor Venus both awaken. They get up and notice
that the Tiger Zord has been slain]
Xeros: Awwww ... they're not dead!
Moon: Hey! What happened? Did you beat him without me?
Mars: Well thatOs pretty obvious, even for a ditz like you Usagi!
Moon: What? Look whoOs talking, Miss Hino Rei! The ditziest ditz in
all of Ditz-land! [sticks her tongue out]
Xeros: Class, can we say juvenile?
Others: Juvenile.
Xeros: I knew you could.
Mars: [clenches her fist] Errr! [a sharp pain in her chest jolts Sailor Mars] OOOOOWWW! [she grabs her chest, writhing in pain]
Xeros: Ooooo ... drools
Lina: You are sick, sick, sick.
Moon: HUH! Rei! [she runs to her friend and supports her] Are you OK?
Lina: (rei) No I am not you moron!
Mars: [her chest starts bleeding again] Yeah, IOm just fine. ACK! [the
pain in her stomach gets worse. She spits out some blood]
Moon: Please Rei! YouOll be OK! IOm sorry for being mean to you! I
didnOt mean it! [tears fill up her eyes]
Mars: No, IOm the one to apologize.
Silent Steel: I know I've seen this type of a scene before ... gah.
Lina: So overused you wouldn't want to use it to clean the bathroom.
Rezo: Do we have a mop?
Silent Steel: I think so, why?
Rezo: Take a look. points at Xeros
Xeros: drools steadily, looking at the wounded Rei
Silent Steel: AAH!! GROSS! Xeros! Take it outside!
Jupiter: Well, apologize now so that we can get you to a hospital!
Venus: Right! LetOs get the hell out of here!
[suddenly...]
Zelgadis: Godzilla came by, stomped them flat, and went on to trash tokyo for the bazillionth time.
Lina: Dr. Forrester captured them all and put them on a satellite in an experiment on the detrimental effects of bad movies upon the mind.
Rezo: Malachite finally lost his temper and blew them all away.
Xeros: I got loose in that world and made them all my toys.
Lina: ... I'd say something about that, but it's been said.
Silent Steel: All the rabid Nephlyte fans, upset over his death, kidnapped the scouts and held them for ransom in order to get him back in the series.
Mercury: [running in the distance] Hey guys!!! I found it! I found the
Tiger ZordOs weak spot!!!
Mars: YouOre a bit late, Einstein! We already took care of it.
Mercury: Hmph. ItOs nice to know that I am appreciated by all of you.
[she crosses her arms and looks away angrily]
Lina: They have someone who is that talented, intelligent, and honest ... and she gets upstaged by a bunch of ditzes.
Zelgadis: Pathetic, isn't it?
Rezo: I wonder how she would do in our world ...
Lina: She'd need to be trained in either swordsmanship, or sorcery ... possibly both ...
Zelgadis: Be able to use Xeros as a punching bag while training ...
Silent Steel: And since the satellite is self-repairing, it would be a good place to train ...
All: Hmmm ...
Jupiter: Gosh, even when youOre injured, Rei, you still know how to
piss people off! [she starts giggling]
Mars: [sweetly] Makoto-chan.
Jupiter: [giggling] tee hee hee. What? Tee hee.
Lina: (Rei) Quit laughing before I shove you in a garbage can.
Mars: [obnoxiously loud] SHUT UP! [a big sweat drop forms on Sailor
JupiterOs head]
*****
Zelgadis: Steel, just what was that starz comment you made?
Silent Steel: It's from an ad for Starz, a cable carrier/satellite dish company.
[at Lord ZedOs base...]
Silent Steel: ... right next to the Qwick-E mart just up the street from the arcade ...
Zelgadis: ... in the basement of Rezo's tower ...OW!!
Rezo: puts his staff back behind his seat.
Zed: Hmm. Those Sailor Senshi look stronger than our spies have
reported. More so than the real Power Rangers.
Rita: [in her usual loud and annoying voice] Yes. Your plan about
sending the fake Power Rangers to Tokyo was absolutely brilliant!
Zed: Thank you, my love. Maybe I should leave those five girls alone
for a while. If we bother them too much, they might destroy our
base. [looks at view screen] Until next time Sailor Senshi...
Silent Steel: ... pardon me, but just when did love enter the relationship between Rita and Lord Zed?
Xeros: At least the author's not using Ivan Ooze.
Silent Steel: Probably only because he died in the first movie. Which is also the first time he appeared.
Lina: Throwaway master villain, eh?
Fin.
All: YEEESSSSSSS!!!
*****
Rezo: That's still too high a rating for this fic. A negative five stars would be more appropriate.
ThatOs it. Remember to mail me! Ja ne!
Xeros: Are you sure that you don't know how to make letter bombs, Steel?
Silent Steel: I'm as sure as you are perverted.
Lina: Is that it?
Rezo: Seems to be.
Zelgadis: Where's the delete button?
Silent Steel: Got it already. Now, let's go find out what smeghead is up to, yess?
(Theatre Doors)
Door 7 (A screen door with a toy cat tied to it. While only a toy, the cat has been ruthlessly slashed open and all the stuffing yanked out to lie in a heap on the floor.)
Door 6 (It's a hole in the ground hidden beneath a illusionary rug.)
Door 5 (The drawbridge falls, only to be caught by Zel before it can hit anyone. He sets it down and the group passes on through.)
Door 4 (A large poster of Dilgear blocks the way. The newly re-formed Xeros sets fire to it and himself in the process.)
Door 3 (This door is a green drawbridge which falls down and squishes Xeros into a fine paste. His gleeful giggles can be heard as the others rush on through.)
Door 2 (It's made out of rubber tires and a giant toilet seat lid. The lid is lifted, and everyone proceeds onward)
Door 1 (It's an Oscarfic. Lina screams, Dragu Slaves it and it vanishes in the explosion.)
(Satellite of Missing Sanity)
The comm is on when they walk into the room, and the Beast of Chaos is waiting impatiently, a look of worry on his face.
Beast of Chaos: Are you guys ok?
Silent Steel: Nah, the fic was mostly boring, and more than a little pointless.
Both of the sibs look behind Steel, where Zelgadis, Lina, Rezo, and Xeros are all huddled together and whispering excitedly.
Beast of Chaos: What are they up to?
Silent Steel: Probably plans to kidnap Amy Mizuno and bring her here. It'd be a relief for the girl, considering all the foolishness she deals with there.
Beast of Chaos: Hmmm ...
Silent Steel: Don't do it.
Beast of Chaos: Why not?
Silent Steel: Just don't. ... Are you even listening to me? Bro? HEY!! Oh SLAG!!