Pretending Absence of Fear


Notes

The song is Absence Of Fear by Jewel.


Inside my skin
There is this space...
It twists and turns
It bleeds and aches

Lina sat and thought of everyone she knew trying to figure out the reason for the emptyness she felt. She thought of all she had done, all she had seen, and still this empty pain remained. Why... she thought to herself, why do I feel like a shell...

Inside my heart
There's an empty room.
It's waiting for lightning;
It's waiting for you

Zelgadis watched Lina as she sat, she was quieter than usual. Somthing was on her mind. He sighed nearly soundlessly and went back to sipping his drink. If only I was cured... if only I was worthy of her... he thought...

I am wanting, and...
I am needing you
To be here
Inside the absence of fear

If only they knew,
that sorrow inside.
That emptiness that grew,
They both thought to hide.
Was echoed in each other,
Hidden deep inside.
In shells of sorrow,
They did hide.
Pretending absence of fear.

Muscles and sinew
Velvet and stone...
This vessel is haunted
It creaks and moans

In the night Zel slept dreaming of his past, how he became as he is now - how he felt made him unsuitable for the one he cared for. He woke up suddenly and sat up looking around. His eyes fell where Lina lay... If only...

My bones call to you
In a separate skin.
I make myself translucent
To let you in, boy...

In her dreams she dreamed of him. She knew it was only a dream, but in her dreams she realized it was him that would fill the emptiness inside her. She awoke and lay there without moving, she felt as if she was so empty one could see through her... "If only..." she whispered...

I am wanting, and...
I am needing you
To be here
Inside the absence of fear

Only steps away,
Yet far apart.
Empty pain tugged,
at their hearts.
One move away,
To becoming whole.
If only they could express,
The emotions they hid.
And let them move past
Their pretending absence of fear.

There is this hunger
This restlessness inside of me
And it knows that you're no stranger,
You're my gravity

She sat up slowly and breathed in the night air before she looked around. She blinked as she saw he was awake as well. "Zel..." she whispered, I have to know... she thought as he casually asked if she couldn't sleep either rhetorically. "No, I've been feeling... empty..." she answered as she looked right into his eyes...

My hands will adore you
Through all darkness aim, and they will
Lay you out in moonlight
And reinvent your name

She fells the same! he though excitedly, they moved to talk a bit and sat next to each other and talked for a while. Zel then decided it was time to make his move - he kissed her, and a moment later she started kissing back. The held each other close silently until the sun came up...

For I am wanting, and...
I am needing you
To be here...
I need you near...
Inside the absence of fear.

And the emptiness ended,
And love found its home.
Two together in comfort,
Together to roam.
And as they held each other,
They knew it was true.
The pretending absence of fear,
And the silence of the night.
Was broken by three words,
"I love you."


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