Lina Inverse here. Lately my life has started to become a lot more complicated. I mean, Naga is nothing new. You kinda get used to her after a while, but recently L-sama deemed me worthy to receive a wish, not that I'm surprised, but you see... I sort of blew it. I made a wish that I didn't mean and now I've got the patron god of swordsmen playing bodyguard for me, like I needed a bodyguard. To make things worse, his brother, the god of black magic, has decided to follow me around as well. Why can't I ever seem to find normal people to travel with? Is that too much to ask? Or is my entire life just L-sama's idea of a great cosmic joke?
"Hey, Lina, who are you talking to?"
I take that as a yes.
Lina strolled down the beaten trail. They were two days out of the last town, and still several from the next, and she was getting tired of trail rations. The loot they had picked up at the Wood Splinters' hide out had bought a goodly number of supplies, which she had assigned Gourry to carry. She had to get some use out of her wish after all. She figured that they should probably set up camp soon, after all, she was getting hungry. The perfect spot soon presented itself being a clearing near the trail, but within easy distance of the river. She needed a bath as well, after all. "All right, guys, this is as far as we go. You all can set up camp while I go take a bath."
"Why should we set up the camp while you go lounge in the water, Lina?"
Lina turned quickly to glare at Naga. "Because I said so, that's why! If you don't like it you can always leave."
Naga drew herself up to her full height and sniffed contemptuously. "Well, if you want to be that way about it. You certainly need that bath after all."
"What's that supposed to mean?!"
"Maa, maa! There's no need for this. You go on and take your bath,Lina-chan, and we'll have dinner ready by the time you get back, ne?"
Lina looked at Xelloss suspiciously. She had learned early in their acquaintance that he wasn't one to intervene in arguments lightly. Doubtless, he had something up his sleeve, but she really did want that bath... "Okay, but don't try anything funny, understand?"
Xelloss smiled innocently. "Would I do anything like that?"
"Yes, you would," Lina muttered to herself as she pulled her cloak off and wandered down to the river. She would worry about Xelloss later, right now she was hot, dusty, and the water was looking better and better...
Xelloss watched Lina disappear in the direction of the river and his smile widened marginally. He waited for a few minutes, and then called for Gourry, "Ne, Gourry?"
Gourry looked up from where he was poking through their supplies trying to decide how long it would take them to turn themselves into one of the meals he was used to getting with Lina. "Yes, Xelloss?"
"Didn't your contract say that you were supposed to stay with Lina-chan?"
"Yeah, that's why I'm here, right?"
"Well, Lina's not here. She went that way." He pointed towards the river to illustrate.
"Yeah, but she'll be back, right?"
"Maa, maa! That doesn't matter, you are supposed to stay with her wherever she is. No telling what could happen to her at the river! Why she could be attacked by sea monsters or something!"
Gourry's eyes widened and he stared at Xelloss in shock. "You really think so?"
Xelloss nodded blithely. "The mortal plane is very dangerous, you know. Why, what would L-sama say if Lina-chan was killed while under your protection?" He shook his head in mock sadness. "And this was your first assignment too."
"I didn't realize it was so dangerous here! I'd better go make sure Lina is okay."
Xelloss eyes opened slightly. "Yes, Gourry-kun, you should go check on her."
"Thanks for the advise, Xelloss! I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't been here."
Xelloss' smile never wavered as he watched Gourry scramble off in the direction Lina had gone. He gripped his staff firmly and whistled softly as he polished the red gem at the top. Naga watched him thoughtfully for a moment before she interrupted him.
"I know what you're doing."
"Oh?"
"Don't think me naive, I'm not Lina," Naga laughed lightly at this thought, "You are trying to push them together, aren't you?"
Xelloss laid his staff to the side and cracked one eyelid open to look at her in amusement. "Is that what you think? Why would I want to do that?"
Naga paused. "If it's not that, then why?"
Xelloss allowed his eye to drift shut again and leaned back before bothering to answer. "It's a secret."
Naga sniffed. "What kind of answer is that?"
"A good one," Xelloss answered smugly. "Would you like a clue?"
"Don't bother, I don't really care anyway."
Xelloss smirked in satisfaction and opened his eyes to look in the direction that he had sent Gourry after Lina. He began a silent countdown until the sound of angry screeches and a small mushroom cloud appeared from that direction. "Aaaa," he sighed in satisfaction allowing his eyes to shut once more. He did so love the sound of destruction in the evenings...
Lina and Gourry soon returned to the little campsite, Lina looked thoroughly ticked and Gourry looking more than a little crispy. "I can't believe that you followed me to the river when you know I was going to take a bath! Of all the stupid, lame-brained," Lina sputtered to a stop as she ran out of things that sounded bad enough, "You just don't do that, okay?! It's very rude, spying on a girl when she's trying to get clean," Lina continued to mutter to herself as she stomped around the camp.
"I'm sorry, Lina. It seemed like a good idea at the time..." Gourry cast a helpless look at Xelloss hoping for backup, but the other god merely shrugged his shoulders and shook his head in mock confusion. "I didn't mean to make you mad... But I am supposed to take care of you, and I have to be with you to do that, right?"
"Sure, sure, but not when I'm taking a bath, all right! I can take care of myself, you know. You've never done this before, why did you follow me today?"
"Well, Xelloss said that it was dangerous and there might be sea monsters or something..."
"Xelloss?! Why am I not surprised?" Lina glared toward the god of black magic who was whistling innocently and pretending not to notice her attention. "Forget it, Gourry. I forgive you, just don't do it again, okay?"
Gourry looked properly chastened and nodded his head eagerly. "I won't, Lina, don't worry! But I still guard you the rest of the time, right?"
Lina tapped her foot in impatience, but managed to mutter, "Sure, Gourry, whatever. Now!" Lina visibly brightened. "Who's hungry?"
The next day started out calm enough. Amazingly, Lina felt rather good about life, the universe, and everything... 'Yes,' Lina thought taking a deep breath to savor the morning air, 'life was good.'
"You know, Lina, no matter how big a breath you take, you're still going to be flat chested," Naga observed with one of her patented laughs.
Lina deflated instantly. So much for her good mood. Not that she should have expected better out of her present company, but it would have been nice just to enjoy one calm moment without the need to blow anything up. And she was seriously feeling the need to blow something up now, namely Naga.
"Naaaaagggaaaa..."
"What's the matter, Lina? Can't face the truth?"
"Xelloss? What are they talking about?"
"I think that Naga was making a reference to your client's bust size, Gourry-kun."
"What bust? Lina has a bust?"
Lina's temper had been steadily rising throughout this conversation, and Gourry's last comment was the final straw. "That's it! Fireball!" Lina launched one of her most trusted and dependable spells at her companions to teach them a lesson about insulting her perfect little body. Unfortunately for Lina, she was bound to be disappointed in her attempt for revenge, because much as her Dragon Slave spell had backfired, her fireball seemed determined to follow the same route. The red fire energies that she had called stalled in the air, and warped into a human looking shape.
"Not again," Lina moaned, "Don't tell me that you have another brother, Gourry." She waited a moment, but Gourry didn't say anything. "Well?!"
Gourry blinked at her, "You told me not to tell!"
Lina grabbed hold of Gourry's shirt and dragged him down to her level. "Do you, or do you not, have another brother?"
"Um, yes?"
Lina released her hold and sighed deeply and glanced over to where her fireball had consolidated into a slim figure dressed in pale beige with a hood pulled around his face, but she could still feel that he was watching her. "Let me guess, God of Shamanism, right?"
"That is correct."
"I thought so. Well, lucky me, ne? I get more weirdoes to follow me around," Lina noted with some sarcasm.
"Actually, I'm not here for you," her newest visitor explained, "but, rather, him." This last was completed with a gesture in the direction of where Xelloss was trying to look inconspicuous.
"Who me? You couldn't mean me, you're talking about that god person that just looked like me. He left days ago! Honest! I have no idea where he could have gone, do you?" Xelloss gestured helplessly while doing an admirable job of appearing innocent.
"Xelloss?"
"Eh?"
"Just who do you think you're fooling?"
Xelloss sighed dramatically and crossed his arms across his chest. He tapped his finger lightly against his chin before offering to reply. "I could have fooled Gourry-kun, if I tried hard enough," he said brightly.
Gourry blinked once, but didn't comment on this. "So, Zelgadiss, what are you after Xelloss for? Is he in trouble?"
The third god, Zelgadiss, brushed back his hood revealing pale blue skin dotted with stones. He sighed and rubbed his hand across his forehead. "When is he not in trouble? But what he did this time was quite unforgivable."
Lina jerked her attention away from staring at Zelgadiss' skin at this announcement. "What did he do?"
"Now, Lina, that's not really that important. You shouldn't worry little head about it. It's hardly your concern."
Lina fumed at Xelloss and was about to show him exactly what she thought of his 'concern' for her well being, when Naga laughed. The entire group flinched slightly and looked at the tall sorceress. "You are all so naive! It's perfectly obvious that he must have stolen something valuable. Am I correct?" Naga smirked and tossed her cape back over her shoulder.
"Not exactly. He actually lost it, rather than stole it. It has no importance to him personally, since he wouldn't have been able to use it anyway."
"So, what is it?" Lina demanded impatiently.
Zelgadiss sighed. "I'm not at liberty to tell you."
"Then how are you supposed to get it back?"
"The...object... produces a magical field that is detectable to those sensitive to it within a certain radius. I had hoped that Xelloss could give me an idea of where to start the search since he was the last to have the object in his possession."
"Is that all? Well, a few directions and you won't be needing me at all then! How nice. I think that I'll just go back home, and see if anything new is happening." Xelloss smiled cheerily and took a step back preparing to dematerialize when Zelgadiss reached out and grabbed the collar of his cape.
"Not so fast. You're not going anywhere until we find the," Zel hesitated slightly, "the object. I'm not allowed back until it is safe and since it is your fault that it's gone in the first place, and why I'm trapped here on the material plane, then you aren't going anywhere until it's found. Is that clear?"
Xelloss tugged himself loose and dusted himself off with great dignity. "Well, since you put it that way, I'd be just thrilled to help my baby brother out. What else is family for, anyway?"
Zel looked at Xelloss suspiciously, but didn't comment.
"Wait a minute! Hold on! This... thing... that you're looking for... it's magic, right?" Lina asked.
Zel nodded slowly. "But it is forbidden for a human to use it. Your species is not developed enough to understand the power involved."
Lina snorted rudely at this comment. "Still , if I helped to find it then I'd be rewarded, right?"
"I don't see why not."
"All right then! It's settled! Come on, guys, I've got a reward to gain! It'd better be a good one too." With this, Lina turned and started marching down the road.
Zel crossed his arms and looked curiously after her, before turning to Gourry. "Is she always this... enthusiastic?"
Gourry smiled and shrugged his shoulders before scrambling to catch up with Lina. Zel stood alone in the trail for another moment before he sighed and went after them himself.
Chapter 4 | Fanfiction