So, you want to hear how Lina-chan and I met?
It's quite an interesting story.
Now, don't look at me like that. This is a good one, I promise.
Now, where was I? Oh yes, at the beginning..
At the beginning it was spring. Rather, it was a spring night. Lina was dancing around a campfire, trying to fend off Gourry, who was after a piece of her precious food. I looked at her and smiled. So, this was the harridan of legend? She was so petite and slim, with long soft hair that was a delightful shade of red. Red is one of my favorite colors you know. It's the color of wine and rubies and blood and so many other nice things. After they left camp, I followed them...why was I following them, you ask?
Well, for one I had my orders. That's why I'm away all the time. I was ordered to follow little Lina by Hellmaster Phibrizo first and Juuou-sama second. Why second? Because it had to be kept secret from Phibrizo.
Who was Phibrizo, you ask? A very bad, nasty little man. But he's gone now, so you don't have to worry. Now please, can you try to stop asking questions for now? It ruins the rhythm.
Anyways, I followed Lina for ever so long, though all sorts of adventures. I had to protect her from Garv and Seigram-bad men. Very bad. But gone now.
It's a bit lonely, now that I think of it.
With every adventure, I grew increasingly entranced with Lina-chan. It wasn't just her beauty..it was her intelligence, her fiery temper, her ability to put me in a headlock that thrilled me ever so nicely, that rapturous, almost orgasmic look she got on her face whenever she cast the Dragon Slave...
No, I am not explaining what "orgasmic" means.
By and by, those nasty men I mentioned before tried to hurt Lina. Unfortunately, they hurt me in the process and I had to leave her to recover. I never told her, but I was just a touch frightened by what could happen to her. And what did happen to her.
What happened? Those questions again...
Well, nasty little Phibrizo tried to make Lina-chan destroy the world with her Giga Slave. It was a very powerful spell, but Lina sealed off the power inside herself some time after that so she could never use it again.
Why, you are asking? Well, he was a Mazoku you know, and he wanted complete destruction. No, Juuou-sama and I didn't want that. We like things the way they are now. Therefore, we had to sacrifice Lina in a way. Phibrizo never guessed he was playing right into our hands all along.
So, when Lina cast the Giga Slave to free her friends...Zelgadis, Ameria...Gourry, I've mentioned them before, it ended up not destroying the world as Phibby hoped but instead summoned the Mother of All, L-sama, to royally fry his little ass.
So the world wasn't destroyed and that was good. But then L-sama took Lina away with her when she left. That was bad.
I'd expected that, you see, and I was sad because I'd never see Lina again. But then...she reappeared. Although she appeared in the arms of that brainless lummox Gourry, I didn't care. She had returned, and that was all that mattered.
Why am I calling Gourry names?
Well, you see, he loved Lina. And Lina, in a way, loved him back. But I didn't care.
Why?
Because I knew what Gourry didn't know and what Lina barely suspected. For you see, the average lifespan of a "good" mage is 200 years. Lina was far beyond good. What she didn't know, or might have suspected and didn't want to face, is that her magic had made her effectively immortal. Magic will do that to humans, especially when it's powerful and utilized from a young age as Lina's was. Since magic involves breaking the natural laws, it's only natural that it exacts a price from its user. Lina's price was to become something not quite human. To never die from old age.
So, all I had to do was wait for Gourry to die of old age.
One of the many things I have on my side is time.
But before he died, we had several more adventures, Lina and I. There was the Demon King Darkstar to defeat, but I shan't go into detail.
Because I'm afraid I was quite mean to Lina at times.
But she paid me back. With interest.
How, you ask? And no, I'm all right. You're very perspective, you know. Please, I'd rather not say. Suffice that we spent the next hundred years apart, each thinking the other was dead. As I'd never gotten to..do things with Lina, it was a trying time.
No, I will not explain what those "things" are. Your mother doesn't want you to know until you're a little older.
But I found her again. Through my little gift of a hundred years before. She wasn't too happy...she was even a little scared. But we..made up.
Why am I smiling like that? It's a happy memory, that's why.
So, we had a few glorious months together, before I was forced apart from her again. Why? Honestly, you talk too much when people try to tell you things. Because of plots, that's why. Lots of plots.
Nevertheless, I came back eventually, and Lina-chan had a surprise for me. A baby girl she'd named Miyu.
So, I took her and the baby off to Wolf Pack Island and we've lived happily ever after...
"That it?"
Xelloss blinked a little, then sweatdropped. "The rest of story hasn't been written yet, sweetling."
Miyu balled her chubby hands into fists and scowled. "I want more!"
Xelloss began to edge away from his daughter, whose face was starting to turn a bright, angry red. "Didn't you think it was a good story, Miyu-chan?"
"MOMMY!!! DADDY TOLD ME A DUMB STORY!!!! WAAAAAHHHH!" Miyu shrieked. "I WANT A BETTER STORY!!"
Xelloss glanced at the baby asleep next to them on the bed. "Shush, shush, you'll wake up Leil.."
"I DON'T CARE!! LEIL'S DUMB TOO!! I WANT ANOTHER STORY!! MOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMYYY!!!" Miyu sobbed.
"Oh hell," Lina said from the doorway. "It's a damn good thing I brought those earplugs."
She crossed the room and picked up the shrieking toddler, tucking her under her arm. Miyu began to kick, still screaming. "I WANT A BETTER STORY!"
"You'll have no story at all for that," Lina snapped. "To BED!"
Xelloss watched from his safe haven on the bed, then sighed. "The Terrible Twos indeed."
He picked up his infant son, idly noting that Leil hadn't even stirred during his sister's tantrum. Good. However, that must mean he was used to hearing shrieks, Xelloss thought wryly. Between his sister and his mother..
Said mother came back through the door, removing her earplugs as she did. "He's still asleep? Good," she said, stroking the infant's back. "Good boy."
Leil made a happy sound in his sleep, and Lina smiled. "Just what kind of story were you telling Miyu anyway?"
"Oh a story of beauty, violence and lust," Xelloss quipped. "She usually enjoys those so.."
Lina grimaced. "You weren't telling her Tam Lin again, were you? You know she hated that.."
"Oh no, this was better," Xelloss grinned.