The song is "Ai Dake ga Dekiru Koto" or "What Only Love Can Do." It's from Sailormoon and it's one of my favorite songs from that series, so if you haven't heard it, you might want to go find it. Anyways, for anybody who's read my sort of side story to Elsewhere, Revelations, it's mentioned in the fic that Lina had killed Xelloss in the past. I didn't give an explaination then, so here's the story behind the story.
This heart is changing now to such an extent
I've seen love start in stories
I can't wait even for tomorrow
Has my secret spread?
Someone must know by now
This has surfaced a strange power
And filling a space, it murmurs my name
I will give you love and protection no matter what
"Lina-san, there's still nothing out there," Ameria remarks, peering through the spyglass.
So? This war is the most uninteresting thing I've ever sat through. The Mazoku aren't doing ANYTHING. This is their war for cryin out loud. Where are Zel and Gourry??
"Zelgadis-san and Gourry-san should have been back by now, right Lina-san?"
"Yeah. Maybe something's holding them up."
They are scouting for Prince Phil. It seemed like a waste of their skills, but as Ameria has pointed out with an air of textbook superiority, you can't fight what's not there. What are the Mazoku trying to do?
Ameria is saying something but she pays her no mind. She thinks about her pleasently guilty secret, replaying the scene over and over in her mind. It felt so good.
"They're certainly taking a long time Lina-san..."
"They're big boys, they can handle it. We haven't even seen any Mazoku since we got here," she snaps. Stop distracting me. I want to dream for once. I wonder where Xelloss is, she thinks.
Now I am always dreaming
This heart is full of passion
What only love can do to me
How are you still free?
Ameria sighs, shifting her posistion on the log, careful even in war not to get her clothes dirty. She wants to tell her that war is a dirty thing, they're no avoiding it, but she lets Ameria think like a child for a little longer. Then again she is almost sixteen. When is she going to grow up??
"No sign yet, Lina-dono?" It's Phil, rumbling his way into their makeshift camp. He grimaces with tension, or maybe his crown is just too tight. Doesn't this family know anything about dressing for war?
"Nah. Nothing."
He sits with Ameria on her log. "I can't imagine what's taking them so long, especially since there hasn't been any activity on the Mazoku's side. I pray nothing has happened.."
She tunes Phil's droning voice out, the thrilling hum of pleasure rising to replace it instead. Could he tell?? She feels so good. Never thought he would make her feel this way. The words were just icing on the cake.
"Are? What's that?"
The sounds of shouting drift into camp as if they are coming in on a wave, poised to sweep over everything.
"Healers!!!! We need the healers!!!"
That catches her attention and she sits up so fast she almost falls over. Gourry is in the lead and relief flows over her. His face is strained. Behind him follow several Sailoon scouts, carrying between them an oddly shaped bundle that they are afraid to sway.
"ZELGADIS!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
Ameria's scream dies as she falls, as neatly as if her legs were matchsticks tumbled out from underneath her. Phil catches her, and drags her with him as he hurries to the group's side.
Her feet are oddly light as she gets up and wobbles over to them. Words rush over her numb lips, ready to fall away from her.
"What happened?"
The last of the light wisps Gourry's hair as he shakes his head. "Zel was scouting with me when we heard a noise behind us. Since I lost the Sword of Light, I can't hurt Mazoku anymore, so he told me he'd go investigate." Gourry's lips are blue. "When he didn't follow up, I went and got some of the other scouts and we went back together and found him ...like....that.."
She nods and leaves him. After she makes herself take the first look, she can look again. Between herself and the healers all she can see are great crimsom pools of blood.
"lina...."
Is he calling her?
"i thought...could....too strong.."
Well obviously it was too strong for you, otherwise you wouldn't be lying here in your own blood. She presses her lips together to stifle the sob. Why are all people such idiots these days?
"different...seen.....xelloss...find.."
Xelloss did this?
Zel is saying something else, but the healer's voice drowns out the words. "Please miss, we need him to conserve his strength.."
Xelloss did this?
"Hey Lina, where are you going?" Gourry is trying to tell Phil what happened when he sees her. Xelloss did this?
"Lina?"
She doesn't hear because her feet pound on the ground as she runs and the ground rushes up to meet her feet almost as if she were flying.
With excitement in my eyes, I claw toward doom
You know I'll surely come tomorrow
I picture it wrong, please lead
And a new power will be born
How could he?? How could he??
Stupid child, you actually thought he was different? He's a Mazoku. Were you blind all this time?
He threatened to kill you. He's tricked and betrayed you time after time after time.
Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. How long did you think it would last? You let him get close to you, let him near your friends, gave him the respectability he needed not to be killed on the spot.
I trusted him.
Idiot. You of all people should know better.
I can fix it!! I can make up for my mistake!
Prove it.
He's standing in a small depression covered by bushes, smiling at the air. So smug. Would he pick them off one by one?? Saving her for last, for the best always comes last and he considered her the best.
Were you lying when you kissed me? What will you do now? Are you trying to draw me out, make me yours?
His back is turned.
Only cowards strike from behind.
I'll give him fair warning.
Only fair.
You're so amusing.
Why did you kiss me?
Ahhh. Well, that's a secret.
That's not an answer. Give me my answer.
So impatient. I'll give you the answer if you give me a kiss. Her tongue slid so clumsily into his eagerly open mouth.
I kissed you because I like you. Can you say the same?
Beautiful eyes.
"Xelloss."
She doesn't expect his name to come out so easily, but it does, sweet and easy, honey to sweeten the sting.
He turns halfway, and the look of bright anticipation on his face is almost painful to watch.
Laguna Blade sinks cleanly into his heart or where his heart would be if he had one.
His eyes widen slightly, then close.
His hands grip hers where the hilt joins his body, pulling her down.
If I die now, I will have no regrets.
"I'm glad," he whispers, his breath stirring her hair. "So glad."
They are nose to nose, her hands sinking through his body, joined as one. The black blade flickers and dies.
He moves his head almost imperceptibly and his lips touch hers. He's smiling. He's not angry at her, he's smiling.
"My reward."
Her face is lying on gravel, her arms twisted awkwardly under her body. Body? What body? He has vanished as silently as she has come.
She sits up, spits dirt half-heartedly. A noise catches her ear, and she tilts her head to see a young blonde girl peering through the scrub.
Show's over folks. Move, will you?
The power hits her face like a strong breeze, and she glares defiantly at the woman Xelloss once called master.
She does nothing. Instead she literally turns tail and runs away.
She sits for a few more minutes until the surge of pleasure and grief inside her fades. Then she gets up and walks back to the others.
I wonder if this emptiness now causes the piercing burn?
This heart isn't helping
I'm aiming for more of your love
My future shines bright
Zel is actually sitting up when she gets back, that's a relief. Ameria is sobbing noisily all over him, yet he doesn't seem to care.
"Hi Zel."
He glances up. "Lina, where were you?"
"Busy."
Gourry looks at her curiously. Ameria is too busy caterwauling to notice. Likely all thoughts of Lina have flown her mind once her precious Zelgadis is restored to her.
"I was worried about you. She could have gotten you too out there."
She looks at him askance. "What do you mean, she?"
"The Mazoku who attacked me. It was female."
Gravity begins to drop in the pit of her stomach.
"But...when you..you said Xelloss."
He shakes his head so casually. "I was trying to say you should find Xelloss. Maybe he knows who she was. Unfortunately those healers wouldn't let me finish..."
Ameria finally looks up, hands playing with the edge of Zel's bedsheet. "I haven't seen Xelloss-san all this time. I guess we can go find him after this and ask, ne?"
Gourry asks "What were you doing out there Lina?? When I saw you run out, I thought it was because of the blood."
"Nothing. I wasn't doing anything."
And that's the truth isn't it?
Now I am always dreaming
This heart is full of passion
What only love can do to me
Will it become all that I am?
They sit inside, laughing and chatting, so happy that Zel's alive.
She is sitting outside, letting the wind chill her to the bone.
You were wrong.
You were wrong.
You killed an innocent.
He had nothing to do with Zel's attack.
You finally did it. You finally snapped and killed an innocent.
How does it feel?
I...I liked him.....
I didn't want to....
You truly sow destruction in your path. What will you do for an encore?
Innocence.
Innocence.
Innocent.
He was innocent.
"I'm so glad."
Why?
Frozen tears from a frozen heart.
Forgive me, I meant no wrong...
He was innocent.
And you no longer are...