Lina hurriedly tugged on her winter jacket, the nights were chilly now and it wasn't even winter yet! She didn't like the cold, in truth, she would much rather stay at home where it was nice and heated. But it had been a rather long time.
"Where are you going, Lina?" Luna's voice called from inside the kitchen. She was cooking something and the only time she ever did that was when her boyfriend was coming over. Whenever that happened, Lina was effectively exiled to her room for the rest of the night. All the more reason to go out.
"Visiting a friend!" Lina hollered back, pulling on the laces of her sneakers. Let's see, books, videos, pictures, wallet, house keys, and insulated cooler bag. Just kidding about the last one. It was just a normal duffel bag stuffed with clothes. "I'll be sleeping over."
"Oh." Pause. "Which friend?"
"The usual."
"That doesn't tell me anything."
"You know."
Luna poked her head out of the kitchen to give her younger sister an exasperated look. "Are you sure he isn't your boyfriend? You certainly spend a lot of time over at his place."
"No, he isn't my boyfriend." Not that I don't wish otherwise but... "If you need me, call my cell."
"Right. Don't do anything I wouldn't do."
"You mean whatever you do that requires me being locked in my room?" Lina cheerfully retorted, quickly shutting the door behind her as she left.
Luna shook her head.
Lina was visiting an old friend she's known since she was a child. It was a night like this one, she reflected, a full moon with several clouds against a starry night sky. Was it this cold then?
Only a visit to him could convince her to be out in this weather and he had better appreciate it. Sometimes she wondered if she was bothering him, which was one reason why she hadn't gone to visit recently. It was kind of fun to go out with her other friends but she always felt that something was missing.
Had he been her first friend? Was she his first? Well, he had Gourry, simpleton that he is, so he couldn't be all that lonely. And she wasn't really lonely either right? She had her parents, her older sister, her friends at school. True she didn't have a boyfriend like everyone kept teasing but Lina didn't feel like needing one. That, and she doubted she could ever find someone like...
"Yo! Lina! Long time no see!"
Lina blinked at the blond who waved to her, half hanging out of a window as he frantically tried to get her attention. Engrossed in her thoughts, she almost walked right past his home. It looked no different from the others around it, Gourry was a good garden tender.
"Zel will be happy to know you came."
So much for a surprise visit, Lina thought wryly, stepping up the front path to the door. Long ago, they had given her a key to the house. Gourry had a tendency to misplace his so much that Zel had forbidden him to ever remove it from his self again. And Zel, well, let's just say locked doors weren't a problem he had to deal with.
"Hi! Hope I'm not intruding," she called out as she stepped inside. Thank heaven it was nice and warm. Lina immediately begin to strip off the thick layers she had piled on herself at home. The door closed firmly behind her and she felt the weight of her jacket lightened.
"Let me help with that."
Gods, she had missed his voice.
"Arigatou, Zel!" Lina chirped, entangling herself from the coat sleeves, bag straps, and scarf mess. She had long ceased to be surprised at his sudden appearances. Knowing the heat on her face wasn't just because of the change in temperature, Lina spent more time undoing her shoelaces than necessary.
When she felt her face was under control, she stood up to look at her friend. He was pale-skinned with soft lavender hair and blue eyes, dressed in faded jeans and a knitted sweater. Lina felt herself begin to blush again. That sweater she had made and given to him last Christmas.
"You haven't dropped by in awhile."
It was both question and statement but offered no inquiry on his part toward an answer. That was one thing about him that tended to annoy Lina. If she ever wanted an answer out of him, she'd have to make the first move.
"I've been busy," Lina answered noncommitedly.
"That's right. You're in your last year of high school right? It must be very hectic for you. Go on ahead into the family room, there's a fire and I'll bring you some cider."
Lina's smile faltered slightly behind Zel's back. That was all he had to say? Wasn't he the least bit curious about what she's been doing? Who she's been with?
A bit put out, Lina picked up her stuff and trudged to the homey room. She couldn't help feeling a bit cheered by the site, all of the comfy furniture and soft rugs and carpets were there because of her. A selfish little brat she had been back then, insisting that a family room *had* to be comfortable. The next time she visited, Zel had had the whole room redone, just to please her.
"Sometimes I forget about the time, sometimes it seems to me that you haven't changed a bit."
Lina blinked at the mug of cider before her. Then she looked at him. The stolid mask was gone, replaced with a slightly amused, slightly nostalgic look. Did Gourry ever see it, the loneliness, the fatigue in his eyes? Even if he did, what could Gourry do about it?
"What do you mean I haven't changed?!" Lina retorted. "I've grown taller, I'm not a kid anymore!"
Something passed through Zel's eyes as they grew distant. "That's right. You aren't a child anymore."
Lina looked up at the full moon, watching the clouds slowly pass by overhead. Her family had only moved in today and the six-year-old wasn't happy at all about it. All of her friends were left behind and now she had to share a room with her mean older sister. So she had decided that she was going to go home, the home her bad parents took her from.
"Children shouldn't be wandering around on their own at night."
Little Lina looked up at the source of the voice, clutching her bag of worldly belongings tightly in her arms. If this was a bad man, he was going to learn how good her lungs were.
"I haven't seen you around before. Are you from the family that just moved in?"
"I'm going home!" Lina said stoutly, sticking out her lower lip stubbornly.
"Is that so? Where is your home?"
"Past those big buildings."
The man sweatdropped. Those big buildings were part of the metropolis that this suburb was a part of. "Don't you mean your home is the one over there?"
"No! None of my friends are here. This isn't my home!"
"But that's where your family is isn't it? That would make it your home."
Lina shook her head fiercely, the short red strands of hair whipping against her face. "No, they aren't. They were mean to me. They made me come here where I don't have any friends."
He sighed heavily. "That can't be helped. Life keeps moving and people move apart. Nothing can naturally remain the same forever."
Lina blinked. Being young, her concept of time was limited to now and maybe tomorrow's TV schedule. Anything further was beyond her comprehension and her concern.
"You may not have your old friends but you can make new ones here. You may never see your old friends again but that's no reason to hate your family now. After all, they probably had to leave their friends behind too."
She hadn't thought of that. "Well, then will you be my friend?"
He blinked. "Me?"
"Yeah you," Lina tugged on his black coat. "You look like you need a friend."
"Look like I need a friend huh?" he chuckled under his breath. "Children really do have perceptions beyond that of adults." In a louder voice he spoke to her. "I'm used to being alone. It is...a necessity."
"Why?"
He wasn't quite sure how to explain this. "I've...seen too many people I know go away, forever. I'm tired of it. So I choose to be alone."
"You moved too?"
"...you could say that."
"Then we're the same!" Lina chirped. She held out her hand in a very grown-up fashion. "My name is Lina, Lina Inverse."
Knowing when to accept defeat, he sighed again and took that small warm hand in his cold one. "Zelgadiss."
"Zelsadgiss? That's a funny name. I'll call you Zel."
Lina chuckled nervously. That had been pretty presumptuous of her to give him a nickname right when they first met. It was as if she knew then that he would become someone very important in her life.
"If anyone hasn't changed, it's you," she murmured, reaching up a hand to brush aside the fall of lavender hair over his eye. "On the outside at least, you are exactly the same as when we met over ten years ago."
"You say 'on the outside'."
"Of course," Lina said firmly. "You're much more open now. You don't always look so lonely and lost like a puppy abandoned in the rain."
"Oh, is that how you look at me? With pity?" he asked mockingly, arching an eyebrow.
No, not pity. What she felt, it was concern true, but the source wasn't pity.
"Ne, Zel. When are you going to tell me? About yourself. You know everything about me but I hardly know anything about you." Lina looked intently into his eyes. How could they be so clear and yet so veiled at the same time? True he had opened up to her over the years but there was still something he kept from her. And Lina, Lina wanted to know everything about him.
Because...
"You brought over quite a bit of things today," Zelgadiss commented, redirecting the conversation. "Just how long are you planning to stay tonight? Your parents couldn't have allowed this."
Lina silently pouted but let Zel off the hook. Again. Someday though, she would get him to trust her as much as she trusted him. Well, she could get some payback right now.
"That's my overnight bag."
Zel looked at her in disbelief.
"My parents are out of town and Luna has her boyfriend over. I know they're going to just make out all night and I don't want to be around for that so I thought I'd come to stay here."
"I'm not a motel." But that wasn't what he really wanted to say and they both knew it. It was mighty suspicious of a seventeen year old girl staying in a house with two young men of no blood relation to her.
"Ne, Zel. You're not going to turn an innocent, defenseless girl out into the cold are you?" Lina put on her perfected mask of pouting, cuteness, and pleading. Zel didn't stand a chance.
"...okay, I admit defeat. You can stay."
"Yatta!"
He looked at her with a mix of incredulity and admiration. "You trust me that much not to try something while you're sleeping?"
"Of course." She looked at him with a solemn expression that made her look older than her age. "I trust you completely."
He had lied earlier, about not noticing the passage of time. In truth, he knew it very well, too well. It was as he told her so many years ago. Too many people have come and gone but still he remained the same. The pain was too deep, too painful, so he closed himself away.
But at the same time, he wanted it. Wanted someone else to talk to, to be with, to share joys and sorrows with. Was that what Lina had seen when they first met? Was that why he agreed, why he let her into his life if only a small portion of it?
He didn't dare let her in any further. If she learned more, would it drive her away? He didn't want it, he wanted her to stay with him, if only as someone to talk to, as a friend. He didn't dare think beyond that, there were too many complications, too much heartbreak.
When her visits came less frequently, he both rejoiced and despaired. Separation was something he had come to accept was inevitable, no matter how much he may wish otherwise. She was growing up, had grown up into an intelligent, vibrant young woman. While he, he had not changed, or so he thought, since they met.
But the hope that had surged when Gourry came to tell him that Lina had come could not be denied. He had missed her terribly, wishing for her to come as much as he wished for her not to. Something had happened, he didn't want to dwell on what.
All he knew was that he wanted her by his side, always.
But could that really be possible? Could she really accept everything about him? He didn't want it to touch her, one reason why he wished for her not to come anymore.
The horizon was beginning to lighten, dawn was coming. Zelgadiss turned away from the window, looking toward the bed on which slept an oblivious Lina. It couldn't really be called a guestroom when she was the only who ever used it.
He walked over to the side of her bed, softly, almost hesitatingly, trailing his fingers down her face. A yearning that he always kept tightly controlled and hidden flooded through his eyes but not to his actions.
"Lina..."
Zelgadiss leaned over though whether to whisper something in her ear or to do something else, it can't be said.