"You don't say?" The Innkeeper finished cleaning a glass, put it down, and then picked up another one. There was a whole line of sparkling, fluted wine glasses lined up on the bar counter. His patrons were the type to enjoy the finer, and more passionate, qualities of life. Discretion was very valuable, and very well-paid, so it made a profitable business for the Innkeeper.
"Damn straight." The only customer at the bar tossed back all of the sparkling water in his glass and slammed it back down onto the counter without care for its fragility. Fortunately, it didn't break from the force. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and scowled at the varnished aging lines in the wooden countertop. "Of all the degrading things to do, this ranks among the top ten!"
"You don't say?"
"I mean, why this of all things? Admittedly, it's not as bad as wearing a white and light blue sailor shirt, shorts, and cap and dancing around holding a lollipop but still! How does this have anything to do with what she wants? It's like...completely opposite. Contrary! Conflicting!! Incompatible!!!"
"More sparkling water?" the Innkeeper offered to the glass that his customer was now waving around.
"Yes please," and he promptly drained it again to soothe his parched throat. Yucky, that feeling, how did mortals go through their lives like this? Mortality is such a pain in the arse. Gods, he'd better stop drinking or he'll need to relieve himself sooner than he liked. It's...it's...it's...it's something he'd rather not think about much less talk about.
The Innkeeper's eyes fell to the clock, its golden hands slowly approaching the golden hour. Or was that the darkest hour...? Whatever. "Begging your pardon, sir, but it's almost time..."
"Yeah, yeah. Time to go to work." Somehow or other, he managed to rummage some coins from the folds of his clothes with which to pay for his drinks. Naturally he wasn't allowed to have anything with alcohol in it, that would have been a big help. He didn't mind being half-drunk off his ass while doing this job.
The traditional bell chimes began to ring, sounding off the hour.
One.
He pulled out a clipboard checklist from another fold of his clothes.
Two.
Let's see, the first set to do was...
Three.
THEM!?!
Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten. Eleven. Twelve.
"Why the hell am I doing this?"
"That would be, with a few grammatical corrections, my line." The second speaker's voice was frigid and sharp, much like steel or ice. There was no welcome implied in the tones or words and if anything approaching curiosity existed, it was well hidden. "I believe I have sufficient grounds to merit an answer. Hellmaster Fibrizo."
Fibrizo pouted as he looked through the sides of his eyes at the being that manifested itself on the material plane. His only consolation in doing this was that Dynast was going to get it as bad as he was having it. "I'm doing some work. Who are you pretending to be now?"
Dynast Grausherra stood stiff and tall, garbed entirely in black which made his pale skin look only paler, stark against the red eyes and short, closely combed black hair. Unlike Fibrizo, when Dynast took a form, it was generally of a person already in a high position of power, among humans at least. This was a person whose presence brooks no argument.
"That is no business of yours. What are you doing back from the dead?"
Fibrizo floated up to eye level with Grausherra, one could get a sore neck looking up to him, and snapped a piece of paper in front of Dynast. "Be so kind as to explain this? I'm usually not one to spread around gossip but considering my source, it would be suicide to think that she's lying." In a lower voice he whispered, "She can be quite the witch at times, my boss. It's healthier just to go along." Then back to his normal level, "So, what do you have to say about this?"
"It's true."
Fibrizo blinked.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S TRUE!?!?!" With complete disregard for differences in height, stature, etc, Fibrizo grabbed Dynast by the black cloth of his clothes and shook him like a limp doll. "How the hell did you keep that kind of thing a secret from me? Just how long have you felt this way?"
"Do you remember when Shaburadingudo-sama was sealed away by the Flare Lord?"
"Yes."
"After that."
"Oh, like that helps. Only leaves the last five thousand years or so. Care to narrow it down a little?"
"Before the awakening of the Demon King of the North."
"Wow, you knocked off a whole millennia. Remind me not to include you in any guessing games from now on." The former Hellmaster threw his arms in the air in exasperation. What was She thinking with this assignment? These two? Dynast of all people, oh wait, he's a Mazoku, anyway... You'd think his blood was mercury for all of the 'emotion' he showed. "Jeez, with your poker face, who would have thought?"
Dynast was silent, and expressionless, very expressionless. If Fibrizo didn't know better, he could have sworn he was talking to statue. But statues were worn down by time; Mazoku knew no such thing. And here he was, under her orders, to make the wheel turn a bit. Who did she think he was? Cupid?
"Right. Whatever. I'm here to get you to do something and I'm sure you know what it is. So why don't you do me a favor and go see her today?" Fibrizo got no response. He turned to leave. "I'll drop by her place and make sure she knows so you better not chicken out. I'm sure you know what happens to those that get on her bad side."
A sweatdrop formed of its own accord on Dynast's hair.
"Hellooooooooo?? Anyone home? Deep Sea?" Fibrizo called into the spacious, extravagantly but not garishly furnished mansion. Dolphin always had refined taste, like Dynast, she disliked brutish tactics and taste. But it was still a mystery to Hellmaster why Dynast was -
"I'm rather busy. Could you make an appointment with Vinerva about talking to me about why you came here for?" Deep Sea Dolphin walked down the central stairs, pulling on the gloves to complement and finish her business suit attire, her long dark hair arranging itself into a professional coiffure. A dark brown leather portfolio was tucked under her arm.
"Ever the workaholic. It isn't much I came to tell you about," Fibrizo shrugged casually, giving Dolphin's priest, more like secretary, Vinerva a cool look. "I just came by to tell you to expect Grausherra to drop by today. And if he doesn't, to give him hell tomorrow."
"That lovesick puppy? He always comes today. Vinerva has already disposed of the flowers he's sent. You'd think by now he'd figure out which ones I like." Dolphin paused before a large mirror framed with gold and silver vines to check her makeup and adjust her jewelry. "I do not enjoy the company of fools, unless they're paying well for my time."
Fibrizo sweatdropped. Dynast came to see Dolphin every year? Even Vinerva didn't look surprised. Was he the only one who didn't know about this? The classic 'Days of Our Lives', Mazoku Lord Version. What next? Gaav and Zelas were married?
"Just doing my job," Fibster shrugged, letting himself out. "Though how anyone can love a money-grubbing, ice hag like you is beyond me."
An ominous presence with writhing serpent-like hair rose behind the unfortunate messenger who couldn't keep his mouth shut. The Fibmeister swallowed tightly and would have pulled on his tight collar if he had one.
"What. Did. You. Say?" asked a very sweet, very insincere Deep Sea Dolphin.
"Jeez, that witch didn't have throw me to her lawyer sharks," Fibrizo grumbled, landing outside the 'abode' of his next target as dictated on the checklist. He wasn't sure if his boss wasn't trying to kill him. Just why were the three surviving Mazoku Lords on his list? Was his worst nightmare coming true?
"Um, excuse me, young boy. Do you happen to know who lives here?"
Strongly resisting the urge to punch the speaker in the midriff, the fun of this young form had worn off soon after his 'death', Fibrizo turned a very strained, civil smile of public service on the man. Well, half-man that is, and half Mazoku. He wasn't terribly memorable in any area of notice except for his striking good looks, easy demeanor, odd that for a half-Mazoku, and light violet hair. "You are here and you don't know?"
The half-Mazoku laughed self-deprecatingly, scratching his head sheepishly. "Well, I'm actually looking for someone and wasn't too sure that I was at the right place."
Fibrizo sweatdropped in the shadow of the good humor radiating from the half-Mazoku. This one must have had one very strange human base. "This is the sometimes residence of the Greater Beast. A Mazoku Lord," Fibrizo added for additional effect. No one except other Lords 'dropped' on a Mazoku Lord.
"Ah good. So I'm in the right place. You be careful now," waved the half-Mazoku as he walked around the corner and out of sight. A wind stirred some loose leaves on the ground to emphasis his departure.
"Things are getting very strange." With a sign for the inevitable, Fibrizo put himself right in front of where Zelas's attention was currently held. There had only been the instruction to go find her and that more would be revealed once he found her. Maybe Zelas knew a thing or two about this? "Yo, Zelas."
"What?!" exclaimed the startled Greater Beast, frantically juggling some kind of scrying crystal she had been watching before it slipped and landed...on Fibrizo's head. Zelas looked down from her floating perch. "Who do you think you are, barging into my private, warded chambers like this... ...Hellmaster?"
"In the flesh, bruised and with a headache as it is," groaned the ex-Mazoku Lord as Zelas plucked the crystal off his head and sent it somewhere else. Her floating chaise lowered itself to the floor. "Not too often someone can catch you off guard like that. What were you looking at?"
"Looking? Oh, nothing, NOTHING. It was nothing at all," Zelas laughed nervously, waving away the subject as if it was nothing but an errant bug. When it wouldn't go away, she started swinging a fly swatter which ended its course smack dab in Fibrizo's face. "Oops."
"...no...it's nothing...don't mind me..." Something was definitely going on here, Fibrizo thought as he molded his face out of the gird imprinting. He caught Zelas off guard, she was acting silly, for a Mazoku Lord at least, and quite flustered. Perhaps his instructions now had something to say about this. Fibrizo pulled out the clipboard and looked at it.
"Reunite Zelas with her estranged hubby?" Fibrizo read.
"Reunite me with my estranged who?"
"Hubby, short for husband. What's 'estranged' mean?"
"Removed or separated from family, friends, etc. What in the world are you - " Zelas's question died on her lips, Fibrizo's slack-jawed, fish-eyed stare trapping her curiosity. "What? What is it?"
"So it's true..."
Zelas did not like the look in Fibrizo's eyes, nor did she like his voice or words. "...what?" she asked, edging away from him.
"You WERE married to Gaav!"
Greater Beast facefaulted.
And promptly leaped back onto her feet to drop an enormous boulder that conveniently appeared in her hands on Fibrizo's head. "Hell no! Why would I ever marry a uncouth brute like that?!?"
The boulder cracked in half and fell apart. "But you were married?!?"
"Well..."
"To an inferior? Our inferior? Oh by all that's dark and unholy, why - "
The floor underneath Fibrizo suddenly shifted and he was thrown up and off as it opened up, revealing a trapdoor that fell on him when it swung fully open. "Well, who could have guessed that this trapdoor could have led me here?"
Fibrizo recognized the bright, cheerful voice as belonging to only one person. That weird half-Mazoku he met in front of Zelas's abode. Just how had he gotten in here? And with this kind of timing?
Zelas was gaping like a fish out of water.
The half-Mazoku turned to her with a wide grin. "Why, Zelas dear, we meet again at last. You have no idea how much I've missed you. How are the kids? All grown-up by now I guess. sniff I missed out so much on their upbringing. Any grandkids in the near future or behind the furniture?"
"You...you...you..." the Greater Beast stammered, holding out a trembling finger at the half-Mazoku. "You're dead!!"
"AAAAAAAHHHHH!!! Monster!!!" the two Mazoku Lords, or rather the Mazoku Lord and former Mazoku Lord, screamed as they realized they were being confronted with an undead. A rather strange reaction coming from them, don't you agree?
The half-Mazoku sweatdropped. "Actually...I'm quite alive...though I was dead for awhile. If you wish to be specific, I was technically stuck in purgatory so I wasn't really dead. But now I'm back dear and that's all that matters."
Fibrizo's head was beginning to hurt.
"Wha...cho...hold on...I need time to process this!!"
"Well, I guess that's another task done," Fibrizo sighed, crossing off the item on his clipboard, still ignored and trapped under the heavy trapdoor. Who knew Mazoku Lords even kept trapdoors in their homes? "So what's my next job?"
"You know, if you had just put this on the list earlier, say before Zelas I wouldn't have had to jump around the peninsula like this," Fibrizo grumbled for anyone in the general vicinity and beyond to hear. Especially in the beyond, one being of all existence in the beyond. And what's with all of these female Mazoku? Not that Mazoku really had genders so that made his previous distinction rather pointless but why did he have to do this for Mazoku Lords and now their direct servants? What kind of example were they, or rather was She, trying to give to the lessers??
"Dynast-sama, you have to move the muscles here," Sherra indicated on her own face the muscles at the tip of her mouth. "These muscles need to contract and then you get what the mortals call a 'smile'."
Dynast was motionless.
"Coaching Grausherra for his 'date'?" Fibrizo asked as he walked up, somewhat amused and somewhat disturbed as well by the whole idea. Dynast? Smile? The two words didn't belong in the same sentence. Dolphin may be an ice witch in her dealings but Dynast was a block of ice.
"I don't know why this duty always has to fall to me. Just because I'm the only one who takes on a 'female' form, that doesn't make me an expert on females." Sherra glared meaningfully at her fellow general and priests who were not successfully hiding out of sight. "Dynast-sama tries hard, he really does."
Hellmaster raised an eyebrow. If Grausherra was trying, it must be on some atomic or molecular level. "If you say so... Just make sure he and Dolphin get some progress or the boss lady is going to make me do 10 seasons of 'Pib and Pog' shows with Gaav."
"Don't disparage Dynast-sama...." she blanched as she finally realized whom she was talking to. "Heh...Hel...Hell...Hellma..."
"Now let's see, who are you supposed to be set up with..." Fibrizo hmm'd and hah'd as he studied the clipboard. Sometimes it took its bloody time in displaying the information of what he was supposed to do. Right now for example it kept showing a blue screen and reporting some kind of error. Fiboroni kept tapping on the board to try to clear it and get back to the checklist.
Sherra took a deep breath, got over her stuttering problem, and decided to go for a safer question than inquiring on Fibrizo's current state of existence. "Hellmaster-sama, why are you wearing a white bedsheet and have white feathery wings on your back?"
"Tunic, it's a tunic okay?! NOT a bedsheet. And I don't know why the wings are there, she just stuck them on me alright??" Fibster growled, quite ready to whack his clipboard on the wall a few times to get it working again. "Ah, here it goes finally. Damn blue screens. Okay, so I'm supposed to get you and...HIM?!? You two?!?"
Admittedly, she was curious about what Fibrizo was raving about. And even though he was killed she was still supposed to treat him with the utmost respect. Even if he was wearing a white bedsheet, sorry, tunic and white feathery wings. What was he supposed to be? Some kind of divine messenger?
"What is it - " Sherra was interrupted by Fibrizo who shoved the clipboard in her face so she could read what was on it. "You're going around setting people up?? Since when do Mazoku go around doing that?!"
"Since She told me to do it." He looked pointedly up at the sky though in truth, one could point in any direction and still be 'pointing' at Her. "But is this true? You...and him? He that is the One, the Will? He of the red eyes? He who does not really behave yet like the One but is the One hence we must obey him or get unholy hell, HIM?!?!"
"This has been going on for awhile. You were around during the time you know," Sherra pointed out, a bit annoyed. It was bad enough that she got this from her fellow general and priests and now from Hellmaster too?
"But I didn't think it was serious! Sure Xelloss lost track of him to some weird human, Terry Dreyworlds or whatever, but then we located him and you were supposed to seduce him back to our side...how did you get that assignment anyway?"
"That isn't the point of this conversation!!" Sherra roared, blushing furiously.
Fibrizo wasn't phased. "I think it's the entire point. How am I supposed to get you together if I don't know the whole story? It's not like I've been too in tune with 'Days of Our Lives ~ Mazoku Version' given how I missed everything going on with Dynast, Deep Sea, and Greater Beast. Not that any of us can really defy him but those blasted morals he picked up won't allow him to force us to do something so trivial. And now that he's also gotten - "
"Dinner reservations at 6. I got you a corsage and a present, Sherra. I hope they go well with your dress, this is a formal wear establishment you know."
Fibrizo and Sherra had heart attacks when the voice suddenly spoke up into their conversation. Dynast was still practicing how to smile, he had gotten up to the cellular level, and his general and two priests were doing a credible impression of 'See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil'.
"Ruby Eye-sama!" Fibrizo exclaimed at the same time that Sherra gasped, "Arthur!" Arthur Roelle, known as the ward of Terim Graywords and the Once and Future King, stood there in a sleek black tuxedo holding the aforementioned iris corsage and a gold-ribbon wrapped jewelry box.
"Tch, tch, how many times have I told you that just 'Arthur' is fine." He gave Fibrizo a look and then focused the rest of his attention on Sherra. Apparently, she wasn't as willing to go on this 'dinner date' that Arthur had set up and was futilely trying to get out of it. Or at least, out of having to dress up and attend some human establishment.
Fibrizo scratched his head as he watched this. "I really don't get this."
"I take it back, now this I really don't get," Fibby corrected, later standing outside of a shop that sold, of all things, pottery and maces. Who in their right mind would sell both of these things together? Perhaps it was a front for an anger management therapy. "I mean, at least everyone else was within the same existence group. Well, that half-Mazoku was probably stretching it but still. A Mazoku and a Ryuzoku??"
Sighing to inevitability, he reached to open the door.
"Just what are you doing to him?!?!" barreled out and struck him like a shockwave as soon as he opened the door. He briefly wondered if they got many patrons at this shop. Then he wondered if any of the pottery was still in one piece. Silly thought that, why should he care?
"Now now, Filia-san, it's a perfectly normal thing for a growing child to learn. Would you have preferred for him to figure it out himself?" Fibrizo knew this voice though it oddly held less superior detachment than he was used to hearing. "You yourself are barely an adult by your people's concepts of such. Who are you to gainsay someone of such prestigious age as myself?" Well, maybe just less detachment then.
The Fibirino popped his head inside, and when he wasn't noticed, popped the rest of himself in and put his head back on. There stood his next two targets, or as he preferred to think of them, unfortunate victims of one of a capricious and inconceivable mind. That constituted just about everyone.
"Val never did that...that...lip flapping thing before you arrived!" half-shrieked a blond young lady who was not as human as she appeared. That might have something to do with the golden tail that was snapping around irritably on the floor that a plump, gurgling baby was trying to catch. Said baby was also completely unconcerned by the argument, unlike most children. This must be a common occurrence.
"It's called a 'raspberry', Filia-san, as anyone whose had a normal childhood would know," Xelloss smiled condescendingly.
"Oh, and since when have you been an expert on what's ordinary?" Filia snorted, crossing her arms, sparks of electricity falling from her eyes.
"Um, hello?" Hellmaster tried uselessly. Those two weren't listening to anything but their own voices. So he tried to get their attention the physical way. "Are right you two, I'm here to - "
WHAM!
Fibrizo twitched, having walked right into some kind of invisible wall. He slowly slid off of it, still ignored by the two but apparently having caught the baby's admittedly short-lived attention. Val gurgled loudly and waved before going back to playing 'catch the tail'.
"And what kind of example are you setting in terms of control? Perhaps you should attend some anger management sessions or else Val-kun will grow up with the same imbalance of emotional control that Valgaav had."
"Why you ----- !!"
Still stuck outside of the invisible wall generated by the two's complete exclusion of everything outside of their argument, Fibrizo wondered what was there here really for him to do. They were already arguing over child-rearing like any married couple with their first child. Not that they were already married or anything. Being his lazy self, Fibster decided to close this item on the list as completed. And if the boss lady disagreed, she'd let him know, by a divine smite or something.
He waited.
Nothing.
"Alright then. What's next?"
"Okay, last one..." Fibrizo sighed. It was getting late, only a few more hours until the end of this day and his work. Unfortunately, it had to be those two he had to do now. He wasn't sure how he was going to go about it. After all, didn't she like that other guy? That was a clincher in his plan after all. But this...this seemed to go entirely against that. Okay, perhaps 'entirely' is an exaggeration but still! Just what is She thinking?
"Maybe I don't have to 'do' anything. So far, all I've done is watch more or less. Everyone keeps doing everything themselves." He hoped, as much as he can hope, that this would be as effortless. All he knew about was destruction, all of this love and romance rubbish was beyond him.
"And so the final actor comes to stage..." he murmured from his hidden perch on a stone outcropping on the wall. One of them was already here, had been here for most of the night. The other, as he noted before, had just come. Gods, he was going to need a good drink after this!
"I didn't think I'd find you here."
Same voice that Fibrizo remembered but the person looked different. It's funny what the passage of time could do to mortals, even if only the span of...how many years was it? Bah, like he would ever keep count.
The first person turned slightly to face the newcomer, face and body covered by a deep hood and cloak that appeared almost silver under the moonlight, the only light in this place. He made no move to reveal himself.
"So then, how did you come here?"
She shrugged, twirling a long strand of reddish-brown hair in her finger. "I've heard rumors. Someone of your description seen wandering around certain areas, areas that would only hold significant meaning to certain people who have been there before. Like yourself."
"Where is Gourry? Aren't you still traveling together?"
"Hey, I don't need a bodyguard! I didn't need one then and I most certainly do not need one now!" she huffed, crossing her arms in indignation. Under her breath she muttered several imprecations about stereotypes and 'damsel in distress'.
Though it couldn't be seen, her friend seemed to smile. "You haven't changed."
"Baka! Of course I have! Even stone gets weathered by wind and rain over time. Nothing stays the same forever. I mean, Prince Phil is now King Phil, last I heard Zangulus and Martina were expecting a son - "
"Actually, they had a daughter," he interrupted. "She was born last year."
She stuttered a bit before getting over her surprise. "Well excuse me for not keeping up on the lineage of the royal families. It's not exactly something I'm obsessed over. Speaking of obsessions, how goes your search?"
"Search? Well, it's been hard going to all of the old places but it's something I have to do. I have to remember, and try to figure out what I've been doing. And why."
"Eh? Ano, Zel, are we talking on the same wavelength here?"
"What? You asked about my search didn't you?"
"The search for your cure remember? You know the cure for the tough as stone, I'm a monster, beware of the scary magic-wielding swordsman 'problem' you had? Though I personally think you liked that last part."
"Oh that."
She almost facefaulted but instead pulled out a fuzzy slipper and whapped him over the head with it. "What do you mean 'oh that'?? Considering all of the trouble we went through to help you find a cure and that's all you can say??? ...huh?" She looked at him, rubbing his head and scowling at her from under his hood. She whacked him again. And again. And again. And -
"Enough already!" Zel snapped, catching her wrist. "Are you trying to beat me to death? If so, at least do it with something a bit more dignifying."
"...Zel...you..." she looked at the hand that had caught hold of her wrist. The moonlight wasn't all that bright, nothing compared to daylight, but it was certainly enough to differentiate stone from flesh. "You're...Lighting!"
The sudden illumination blinded everyone not prepared for it, namely Fibrizo and Zel. The caster was not phased at all, having closed her eyes first and then slowly reopened them to give them time to adjust. It wasn't a trick of the light.
"Zel! You're human! You're not a chimera!"
"Wasn't that obvious enough from the beginning?" Zel asked dryly, rubbing his eyes to clear the blind spots obscuring part of his vision. "Didn't you hear it when you were looking for me..." He looked at her. "Lina...you didn't figure it out?"
"We-Well, I wasn't paying attention! It's not like you usually go around proclaiming that you're a chimera," Lina stammered in protest, trying to cover up both her astonishment and embarrassment at not figuring it out earlier. "It's hard enough just asking around if someone's seen a guy in a hood and cloak who keeps to himself. And when I finally got some information about where you were last seen after disappearing for two years, you'll have to forgive me for not asking whether the guy I was tailing was human or not!"
"So you were asking around about me then?" Zel teased.
"Well, unlike some people, I don't get to play off being the cold-hearted sword-wielding sorcerer to get others to talk!"
"True. People usually just start running away when you mention Dra-matta."
"Jeez, this is how you treat a friend whose been looking for you?"
"Looking for me? Or looking for her 'useful magical item'?" he mocked, using her own words said way in the past. Lina had the decency to blush.
"This is the thanks I get for being worried about you. See if I care if you drop off the face of the world again!"
"What was that? You were worried about me?"
"Ah, forget about it!" Lina screamed, emphasizing her point by pounding on Zel a little. He partly defended himself from the blows, since he wasn't sure how much Lina remembered that he was now longer as invulnerable as stone and hence didn't need to be hit at with as much force. Frustration quickly vented, she sighed and took a look around at the old church. "Well? Why have you come here?"
"You know where I've been, and though you may not understand why I went to all of those places, you've probably figured it out by now."
"I'm not called a genius for nothing."
"How much weight does a self-proclamation carry?"
"Do you want to hear my theory or not?!"
"Alright, alright. I'll keep quiet."
Lina glared at him. "I'm guessing that you're going back to all of the places where something important happened to you or feel is important you, during the time you were a chimera. There didn't seem to be a particular order, seeing how you were seen at the ruins of Rezo's tower, then Saillune, and then Sairaag. And you finally ended up here."
"Well, it's as you said. What's important to me. This place...holds a very important place in my memory."
"Eh? Why?"
"Can't you guess? Where's that great intelligence you were so proud of just a few lines back?"
"Leave me alone!"
"Not even one guess?"
"Just talk already!"
He chuckled at her impatience, which didn't really help, because then she began to pound on him with her fists. It was little trouble for him to catch them both and draw her closer so that their heads were touching.
"Here...is where we first met."
"Here?" She sounded confused. "But...wasn't it at the inn..."
"But at that time - "
"You were Rezo's...right? So I didn't really meet you until you let me go that night. Ne?"
"Definitely the beautiful genius sorceress Lina Inverse."
"You're just making fun of me."
Fibrizo was going to be sick. Any more of this lovey-dovey stuff and -
A bell chimed.
Despite the fact that they were in the middle of nowhere, a bell chimed. And it chimed again, and again, for a total of twelve times. Except that the only person who appeared to hear it was Fibrizo, the two below were oblivious. Well, that was until they heard a whoop of jubilation that broke a very romantic moment between them.
And just for that, Lord of Nightmare decided that Fibrizo was going to do that 'Pib and Pog' show. No one screws up her lovey-dovey, sappy romantic scenes.
Appendix
"The Fib and Gaav Show"
Cast:
Fib = Hellmaster Fibrizo
Gaav = Chaos Dragon Gaav
Narrator = Lord of Nightmare
[Stage: A white setting with only a palm tree and a cactus each set on the left and right side of the stage respectively.]
LoN: Why hello everyone, welcome to another episode of Fib and Gaav. And there they come now.
[Fibrizo and Gaav grudgingly trudge onto the stage, from the left and right sides respectively. They are smiling happily because their mouths have been taped firmly into the expression.]
LoN: "Hello Gaav."
[Gaav does nothing.]
LoN: [a bit more forcefully this time] "I said Hello Gaav."
[Still nothing.]
[A cattle prod comes out from the right side of the stage and pokes Gaav.]
[Gaav is electrified to a pile of dark ashes. A vacuum appears and sucks it up into a blender to which is added some liquid. After mixing, it is placed in a cookie mold and put into the oven to bake for 10 minutes at 350 degrees. Gaav is dumped out of the cookie pan.]
LoN: [insincerely sweet] "HELLO GAAV."
[A dizzy Gaav waves wobbily.]
LoN: "Hello Fib."
[Fibrizo opens his mouth to complain about the degrading nickname, looks at Gaav, and changes his mind. He waves instead.]
LoN: "How are you doing today, Gaav?"
Gaav: "I was just electrocuted to ashes, put into a blender, mixed under high power, cooked, and scooped out with a spatula. How do you think I feel?"
[Gaav gets zapped again.]
LoN: [laughing] "Oh you're such a silly-billy."
Fib: [under his breath] "Silly-billy?"
LoN: "And how was your day, Fib?"
Fib: "I did your bloody and admittedly poor attempt at playing Cupid so why am I stuck doing this???"
[Thunder and lightning flash across the stage.]
LoN: [doing an impression of God] "Because you ruined that scene with Lina and Zelgadiss. NO ONE gets in the way of my favorite grandson's life!!!"
Gaav & Fib: "GRANDSON?!?!"
[Out of nowhere, giant mallets slam down on the two.]
LoN: "No talking out of turn. You must wait until you are spoken to or I call upon you after you've raised your hand."
[Fib holds up his hand, detached from his body.]
LoN: "Yes, Fib?"
Fib: "Can you kill me for good? Just wipe me out of existence. It would make me so much more happier."
[LoN thinks about it... for several minutes.]
LoN: "Naah."
Fib: "It took you that long to think about it?!?"
LoN: "No, I decided in the first nanosecond. Then I just decided to draw it out. And oh yes..."
[A giant foot stomps Fibrizo.]
LoN: "That was for talking out of turn again."
[Stagehands dressed all in black come to gather the remains of Fib and Gaav. After some offstage shuffling, Fib and Gaav walk back onstage to their respective places, looking more the worse for wear.]
LoN: "Now then, so we have anything new to share today?"
[Gaav raised his hand.]
LoN: "Yes Gaav?"
Gaav: [holding out a huge sword] "I got a huge sword."
LoN: "Isn't that nice, Fib?"
[Fib, eyeing the sword and Gaav's hungry smiling warily, shook his head.]
LoN: "Now that isn't very nice, Fib. Gaav, maybe Fib will like it better if you let him see it better."
Gaav: [grins wider] "Oh no, he might hurt himself. I'll just swing it around and - "
[Fib looks at Gaav's sword stuck in his abdomen.]
[Gaav looks at his sword stuck in Fib's abdomen.]
[LoN looks at Gaav's sword stuck in Fib's abdomen.]
LoN: "Oh dear, what a terrible accident."
Gaav: "Yes, what a terrible accident."
Fib: "Accident my ass."
LoN: "It looks like Gaav's sword is stuck there. Gaav, can you try pulling out your sword?"
Gaav: [grinning as usual] "Okay."
[Gaav plants a foot on Fib's face, both hands on the sword hilt and tugs. But somehow, he gets it stuck even deeper.]
LoN: "Perhaps you could push it all the way through."
[Ignoring Fib's frantic shakings of his head, Gaav spits on his hands and gets a tight grip on the sword. He then shoves it with all of his strength through Fib. The sword flies through and impales someone off screen.]
"AAAAAAHHHH!!"
LoN: "Oh dear. It looks like Gaav's sword has gotten stuck in someone else."
[Fib stands there with a large hole in his body.]
LoN: "I think you need a band-aid for that, Fib. Gaav, if you would please?"
[A roll of gauze falls in Gaav's hand.]
Gaav: "Of course."
[Soon, Fib is wrapped from head to toe in gauze.]
LoN: "Now wasn't that nice of Gaav?"
[Fib mumbles something beneath the layers of gauze.]
LoN: "What was that Fib? You can't breathe?"
[Gaav laughs.]
LoN: "Well, of course, you can't breathe. There aren't any airholes."
[LoN and Gaav laugh.]
[And so it goes on...]