Son of Man is one of the image songs from Disney's '99 Summer Release Tarzan. It was composed (and sung?) by Phil Collins. Actually, this song is quite upbeat.
Adventurer. Some would add 'foolish' before it. Others would say that being foolish was already part of the definition. Right at this moment, the only thing Lina cared about was not adding the word 'dead' before it.
She fiercely jabbed her fork into the steak on her plate, discouraging Amelia's and Gourry's wandering grasping hands from it. Lina glared at the person she was arguing with.
"Have you any sense at all? You almost got us all killed!"
The person she was addressing didn't answer. He didn't even have a mug in front of him as he usually did when everyone else was stuffing themselves more than a Thanksgiving turkey.
"I've told you before. This is my problem. It doesn't concern you."
"All this obsessiveness and recklessness were what made you a chimera in the first place!"
Silence fell over the table as Lina's words sank in. Zel's eyes were flat as he stood up, pulling on his hood.
"Zel!"
But the hooded and cloaked man had already left for his room.
Oh the power to be strong
And the wisdom to be wise
All these things will come to you in time
As he passed through the forest in the early morning light, bird's songs would still, animals would lay quiet. It was only natural after all, he was unnatural. Long ago, at least it seemed that way to him, he had come here. He had been in this forest, a younger weaker him.
Now he was strong, but what of it? Two parts of him were simply soulless vessels, creations of man and Mazoku, so what did that leave left? What was human? Did only the golem and demon rule now?
His feet carried him to that fateful spot, a place his mind longed to remember and yet could never ever forget. Zelgadiss looked around, nothing seemed to have changed. Even the old blade marks on the fallen log were still there, not covered by moss or years of dirt. Perhaps something he did affected this spot.
Tracing the splintered edges of the mark, he remembered the constant swings with a sword that was too heavy even for him. Oh, he wanted to be strong then. Zelgadiss wondered what Rezo would have done if he had wanted to be wise.
Lina's words last night still stung. He always told himself that if this was all to happen again, he wouldn't have accepted Rezo's offer. But how true was that? He was looking back with what small wisdom he gained from the effects of his transformation.
In the sunlight, Zel could almost imagine himself, standing there hacking at the log, chanting the mantra that was his entire reason for living at the time. Obsessed? With being strong. Reckless? Accepting his grand-father's offer without a second thought.
Yes, how different you are now. Zel thought bitterly, seeing the truth and lie. He may look different but he didn't really think any different.
A faint rustling of leaves and the slight breeze told him who was the cause. He only knew one person who wore that scent and was in the nearby area.
"What do you want?" Zel asked coldly. "Come to drive the blade in even further?"
Lina considered just staying hidden but if Zel already knew she was here with those damned heightened senses of him, it would have been pointless. Besides, she had come after him for a reason. She stepped out from the bushes, brushing the leaves from her hair.
"I came, I came to say I'm sorry for what I said last night," Lina looked everywhere but at the person she was apologizing to. And before Zel could do more than open his mouth to retort, she continued. "But it's better that you get hear the truth *before* you get yourself killed. Good advice doesn't help any dead person I've ever seen."
"You don't know anything about me."
"Exactly. I only know that you once wanted to be strong and Rezo granted your wish in exchange for your service. He made you into a chimera, you ran into me while trying to find the Philosopher Stone, one thing lead to another, we kicked Ruby Eye's pathetic ass, and then traveled on and off when our paths happened to cross. So other than the ample opportunities to watch you do practically anything to get your hands on a possible way to remove your chimera-ism, I know absolutely nothing about you." There was an edge to Lina's voice.
They stood in silence, fire and ice, glaring at each other in the sunlight dappled forest. After some time, Lina couldn't stand the silence anymore.
"So what is this place? And don't say nothing. You know this area, Zel. Not only how to get to this part of the forest but also the town and the mountain region around that tomb where we almost all bit the dust."
Zel continued to look at the old blade marks. "This was were Rezo gave me that offer."
Lina raised her eyebrows. "You mean this is where it all began?" She wondered if she should have been expecting big glowing signs saying 'Rezo was here' or something.
Zel smiled self-deprecatingly. "No. This was only a result. It all began much earlier."
On this journey that you're making
There'll be answers that you'll seek
And it's you who'll climb the mountain
It's you who'll reach the peak
Zel gritted his teeth and clung tightly to the stone wall. He ignored the strong wind whipping loose strands of violet hair against his face. He ignored the ominous crashing of the surf against the broken rocks below.
Don't think broken.
In the darkness, he secured another handhold and dug in the the claws on his gloves. There were claws on both gloves and on his boots as well. Very helpful for scaling seaside cliffsides to get into seaside castles.
At eleven, he was probably one of the youngest guild recognized infiltrators in the Barrier. Of course, to keep his reputation and his job he had to do assignments that no one in their right mind and valuing their skin would take.
But that suited Zelgadiss just fine. Each challenge served as another test, each success as another answer to his own burning question.
He was a Graywords.
He was his father's son.
Zel could surpass his father.
Zel would surpass his father.
The flickering light of a torch danced in the strong sea breeze. He was almost at the top. On the night of a new moon, the guards would keep more torches but Zel always had an affinity to darkness and his eyes could see better in the night than the castle guards.
Hanging carefully from the battlements, Zel watched the guards from a deep shadow thrown by a wavering torch, making sure his informant was correct about the watch patterns. The changing of the guards would come soon.
No sooner thought than did the replacement arrive, relieving his fellow guard from duty and no doubt sending him down to the barracks to drink himself into a hangover. Even the sea wind could disguise the heavy smell of beer on the breath of the new guard.
It wouldn't be too hard to distract him. Waiting for a sufficiently strong gust of wind, Zel threw a handful of sand into the torch, extinguishing the flame. Quickly pulling himself over the battlement, Zel ran for the stairs leading to the center courtyard of the castle. His eyesight showed him clearly where everything was.
By the time the torch was relit, Zel was already scaling the dark side of the tower that housed the office of the lord of the castle. Unfortunately, the lord's office was also next to the lord's bedroom. From the sounds Zel was hearing when he climbed quietly into the balcony, the lord was quite occupied.
Still, it never hurt to be careful. Slipping inside, Zel's footsteps made no more noise than a feather fall as he clung to the walls and shadows, edging over to the adjoining office.
In the office, he found a surprise. No one had mentioned the large black wolf that the castle lord seemed to have recently acquired. A deep growl rumbled in the beast's throat. Zel stood still, making no gesture than to slowly hold out one hand. After several moments, the wolf was nuzzling the boy's hand.
It's a good thing I've always has an affinity to wolves.
Patting the wolf and signaling it to lay down, Zel made his way over to the safe nestled between two large bookshelves filled with books of literature and history. Kneeling before it, Zel pulled off his clawed gloves and ran a careful hand over the safe's surface.
A combination lock. Easy.
Reaching into his nightsuit, Zel slipped out his lockpicking tools. With the familiarity that comes from long practice, he pulled out the stethoscope and put it on. Tuning out the noise from the next room, Zel listened carefully for the small clicks as he turned the dial.
With only three turns, the safe clicked open. Smiling to himself, Zel slowly pulled the door open. It was unlikely that there would be any traps but Zel didn't want to find that out after he landed in a cell. Inside the safe was the object he had been commissioned to retrieve.
It was terribly easy to slip back out of the castle though the climb down the cliff was no piece of cake. Zel's ride was waiting for him at the bottom and he quickly made his way back to meet his employer.
"Well done," said the blind man, his hands running over the treasure Zelgadiss had 'retrieved'.
Zel didn't really believe the man but his payment was solid and it was really the job that had interested him. After all, it was just another step in his journey to surpass his father.
"Should I ever need your services again, I'll be sure to remember you."
"Sure." Zel scampered away. He was still a long way from his goal.
"Oh yes. I will certainly remember you. Zelgadiss."
Son of Man, look to the sky
Lift your spirit, set it free
Some day you'll walk tall with pride
Son of Man, a man in time you'll be
"Wait, wait." Lina interrupted Zelgadiss's story of his life. She was sitting on the fallen log with blade marks and the sun had risen to about mid morning. "I thought you told me that you've known Rezo since you were born. But you didn't know that he was the one that hired you when you were eleven?"
Zel shrugged. "What I meant by that was that he knew me since I was born. Rezo kept track of my family better than we did of him. Actually, my grandmother did almost everything short of rewriting history to keep us from knowing about him."
Lina wondered about what 'us' Zel was mentioning but asked another question on her mind. "So you were so obsessed with becoming strong because you wanted to be like your father."
"Not like my father," Zel corrected, "I wanted to surpass him."
Lina stretched a bit, not used to sitting still for such a long time. Looking through the leaves and branches at bits of blue sky, she saw a white bird sitting watching its nest of young. "Who is your father?"
Zel smiled bitterly. "That's right. I never told you my family name. It's Graywords."
Lina nearly fell off the log. "You're his son?!"
"Didn't seem likely huh?"
"Er, no, I mean yes, that is I never really thought - " Lina stammered. She shut her mouth, took a deep breath, and started over. "Even if you are his son, why are you so obsessed with surpassing him?"
"Of course no one would understand." Zel hit his fist into the tree he was leaning against, shaded by the shadows of the leaves. "Don't you at least get it? I am his son. If I don't surpass him, I'll never be seen as anything but his son. I'll never be free of his shadow."
Lina watched the play of emotions dancing across Zel's gem-like eyes. Anger, self-loathing, yearning, contempt, admiration, jealousy, hate, love, loneliness, sorrow.
"So what happened? You weren't an infiltrator when you met Rezo here were you?"
Zel shook his head. "No. Before that, I decided that it wasn't enough. So I joined a mercenary group."
Though there's no one there to guide you
No one to take your hand
But with faith and understanding
You will journey from boy to man
Zel huddled in his wet cloak, drops of water falling from his hood. Everything was wet. It had been raining for a week since the mercenary troop he joined had left on its commission to protect Verbram's northern border while the country's army dealt with the invaders from the east. Finally they had reached their position and set up camp.
As one of the green recruits, Zel was usually shunted as an errand boy when he wasn't patrolling the perimeter or being trained by one of the veteran fighters. He wasn't blind to the fact that most of the men here didn't think he belonged, not as a fighter at least. But most didn't dare lay a finger him with those intentions. The commander had made it quite clear who Zel's father was and no one wanted to cross that man.
"Hey, green."
A hand clamped down on Zel's shoulder.
"Time for your training."
Zel nodded though not very happy about the thought of swordplay in the mud and rain, even if it had lightened to a drizzle. His days as an infiltrator seemed almost a memory away though he was now just fourteen. At least then he got to choose his own battles. A mercenary didn't have that luxury. He fought the battles he was paid to fight.
Zel and his instructor trudged through the mud to the cleared center of the camp which was far away enough from most of the tents. He didn't recognize his instructor this time. They seemed to change each time.
His instructor signaled him to stop in the center. Pulling out his long sword, the veteran fell into a guard position. Zel likewise unsheathed his sword, a long sword as well though longer and heavier than what a boy his age would usually wield.
"You sure you can handle that?"
"I have so far."
His instructor shrugged. "Then let's see what you've learned."
And so began the dance of metal and bodies in the slippery mud and shimmering mist of drizzle. Zel knew to use his smaller size to his advantage, his speed and agility to keep him ahead of his opponent. But his taller more experienced trainer was stronger and nearly as quick. Several clashes of metal nearly knocked the sword out of Zel's two-hand grip.
Analyzing his opponent's skill, Zel most definitely knew he was out-classed. Strange that his opponent used the more formal stances at times. Why was someone with formal training in swordmanship hiring his blade out as a mercenary?
Zel's opponent swung down overhead and Zel barely blocked the blow. The force though caused him to slip in the mud and fall to the ground. Rolling out of the way, Zel felt his cloak clasp break as the fabric was pinned to the ground.
Zel whipped his leg out, knocking the other man into the mud as well. With a flick of his wrist, a dagger sprung into Zel's waiting hand. A little toy from his less than illustrious past. Not giving his opponent time to recover, Zel leaped onto him, intending to end this little session.
But the trainer kicked out and caught Zel right in the stomach. Zel fell heavily face first into the mud. As he coughed out the mud, the sharp edge of metal touched his throat.
"I win," the trainer said evenly.
Several other mercenaries who were watching laughed. Zel snarled.
"It's not you they're laughing at," said the trainer in an amused voice.
He pulled off his hood, revealing a smiling young man with blue eyes and very short blond hair. Zel's jaw almost dropped.
This guy can't be more than several years older than me!
"Sure cut that greenie down to size, G!" hooted one of the mercenaries.
G shrugged good-naturedly. "Happens to the best of us. But we can't really say either of us got off unscathed." G waved a hand at their mud-covered clothes.
G removed his sword from Zel's throat, wiping it dry on a clean dry part of his clothes before resheathing it, before walking off to his tent.
Zel picked himself off the ground, refusing to give in to the tears forming in his eyes. He should have seen this coming. His attitude wasn't appreciated by the other new recruits or by some of the older mercenaries. That he got beaten easily by someone only a few years older than him! He'd never surpass his father at this rate.
Slowly, Zel slipped the dagger back into its spring-loaded wrist sheath. Then he picked up his mud-soaked cloak and fallen sword. The rain began to fall more heavily, plastering his violet hair over his eyes.
"Oh hey, greenie!"
Zel looked up at G who smiled goofily.
"You did a good job today."
"Yeah right," Zel muttered, trudging away to his tent. G didn't mean it. No one ever did.
He had left his thieving days in the past, a game for a little boy and boys couldn't do things better than a man could. Hefting his sword, Zel looked at his warped reflection in the blade. It was time to start beginning his path to becoming man.
He could do this alone with no one's help. He'll surpass his father. He'll be recognized as himself.
Son of Man, look to the sky
Lift your spirit, set it free
Some day you'll walk tall with pride
Son of Man, a man in time you'll be
A bird chirp, half in warning, half in worry, interrupted Zel's narration. They looked up to see the white bird nervously watch its young begin trying out their wings.
"You know, I can't help thinking of Gourry when you described that guy who beat you," Lina said, watching the birds.
"Perhaps he is. Perhaps he isn't. I never talked with any of the other mercenaries. I was only there - "
"To surpass your father," Lina finished. "Still, after several years of mercenary work, you should have gotten as good as that G. Wars have been rather a popular trend for the last decade."
"It wasn't enough." Zel nodded toward the fallen log Lina was sitting on. "I couldn't cut no more than a blade's width into that log and that was working up a sweat. Gourry can cut through a tree if he tries. You know how Prince Phil can destroy Lesser Demons with a Pacifist Crush. My father could wrestle a Mazoku and win."
Lina sweatdropped. "That is a little hard to live up to...But you can cut through a tree now with one stroke."
Zel held up a hand, his blue stone skin catching the sun. "But like this. I'm a monster."
Lina wondered what was chaining him down more, his obsession to surpass his father, or the weight of his choice and its cost. Even if he became normal again, well, there was the problem. His obsession would still remain.
Why can't he accept the way he is? Like we accept him.
"But you've traveled with us for all this time and we've never known who your father was. I, We have only seen you as Zelgadiss. No more, no less."
Zelgadiss looked at Lina. Is she trying to comfort me?
"We don't care that you're a chimera, or that you like to scare the wits out of people who haven't seen any magic other than a Lighting, or that you sometimes become the living representation of cold-hearted bastard, or that you can be as insensitive as a rock, or - "
Maybe not.
As Lina continued her attempt to be...well Lina, Zel's thoughts drifted back to another memory brought up by her first words.
In learning you will teach
And in teaching you will learn
You'll find your place beside the ones you love
"Here's the book you were looking for," Amelia bounced up, breaking the 'quiet please' rule in the library for the twelfth time.
Zel nervously eyed the librarian who was growing darker than a storm cloud. "Er, thanks Amelia. Why don't you go find some books about Xrewadhiwsk?"
"Okay!"
Zel lowered his head to avoid the librarian's baleful look.
"What the heck is Xrewadhiwsk?" Lina whispered, looking up from the book she was reading.
"I have no idea."
Lina smiled with a knowing glint in her eyes before going back to the old musty book in front of her. They had stopped at Leaves of Knowledge, a large library located in a small out of the way town called Backwater. More accurately, the town only existed to support the library and its librarians.
Naturally, Lina was searching for some new magical treasure or spell to hunt down. Zel was helping her, only because he was the only other one in their group who knew how to read even half of the languages the books were written in. To be safe, they had left Gourry at a tavern with Sylphiel to make sure he didn't wander off somewhere. Zel was sincerely regretting the decision to bring Amelia along. She'd soon get all three of them kicked out of the library before they found anything useful.
Lina closed her book with a disappointed sigh.
"Nothing?"
"Just a bunch of rambling about all of these great magical items he could make," Lina said making a face. "Of course, all of his enchantments have flaws in them, not to mention the fact that he puts vampire's blood as a necessary component for every single one. Books like these should be burned."
The librarian glared at them again. And they both looked quickly down at their books. When the librarian looked away, Lina crossed her eyes and stuck her tongue out at her. Zel quickly stifled his laughter. The librarian whipped around at the sound. Lina grabbed the first book on a stack to her left and opened it wide to hide their silent laughter.
"You're going to get us kicked out faster than Amelia."
Lina shrugged smiling and then looked at the book she opened. "What is this language?"
Zel abandoned his own tome to look at Lina's. "It's the language of the Dhaeraow."
"Dhaeraow? Who are they? This sort of looks like Elvish but I can't make heads or tails of it."
Zel blinked. He thought a black mage like Lina would know about the Dhaeraow. "That's the dark elves. The elves that have turned away from Ceiphied and follow the Ruby Eye Lord. You've never heard of them?"
Lina shook her head. "How did you learn about them?"
Zel grimaced at the memory. "One of Rezo's apprentices was a Dhaeraow. She taught me the language."
"Good. Then you can teach it to me."
"I can just write down whatever parts that might interest you."
Lina snorted quietly. "And how would you know what I'm interested in? Like I said, it looks a bit like Elvish and I already know that. Just teach it to me and then you can back to looking for your cure."
Lina had that stubborn look that even a great wyrm couldn't even budge much less a lone chimera. Zel ran a hand through his hair ruefully and began pulling out some parchment and ink.
"Alright. Now here's the alphabet."
Lina moved her chair closer to lean over his shoulder, watching the graceful sigils take shape. The rest of the afternoon passed quietly in the warm room as Zel taught Lina the dark elves' written language.
The lessons continued through the week they spent in Backwater. By the end, they had translated enough of the book to find the location of an Dhaeraow treasure that was said to make dreams come true. When they left to search for it, Zel couldn't help wistfully thinking about those quiet hours he spent with Lina.
Oh, and all the things you dreamed of
The visions that you saw
Well, the time is drawing near now
It's yours to claim it all
Dreams. Zel had them like anyone else. When he was young, he used to dream of riches, of fabulous treasures, of finding some ancient lost civilization. As he grew older, the dreams turned to other things but they always seemed to revolve around one thing. His father and the chains that bound Zelgadiss in his shadow.
He still had those dreams, as often as he dreamed of finding a way to reverse his chimeran state. Then there were the nightmares of when Rezo changed him, of him never finding a way, of always being in his father's shadow.
But those weren't the worse dreams by far. Over the past year, there were new dreams interspersed among the dreamless nights and the nightmares. Zel dreaded these new dreams as much as he wanted them.
Tantalizing fantasies, that was all they were.
Hazy images of people laughing and smiling in various occasions and places, some he knew, some he didn't. Looking at his hands they were always covered with pale soft skin, not smooth blue rock. The strands of hair that fell over his right eye were silky violet and not hard silver.
And that one person who called his name laughing. He could never see who she was, always something got between them. The only thing Zel knew was when he was with her, he never felt more content and happy with his life.
Zel had just had this dream last night, after storming to his room after Lina's blunt accusation. The only thing different, was the unsettling feeling that the dream wasn't just a dream.
Son of Man, look to the sky
Lift your spirit, set it free
Some day you'll walk tall with pride
Son of Man, a man in time you'll be
"Zel. Hello?" Lina snapped her fingers before the chimera's vacant eyes. "Zel Central, please send confirmation of life signs?"
Zel didn't respond.
Lina ran through her vast range of spells, trying to find something not too damaging to snap Zel out of whatever dream world he was visiting.
"Diem Claw!"
Unlike its sister spell, Diem Wind, which blows horizontally, Diem Claw blows vertically. Usually used for dramatics, Lina decided this would be less damaging than say a Dill Brando.
Zel didn't go very far, hampered by the tree branches, and promptly fell to the ground. He glared at Lina who was smiling innocently.
"So we're awake now?"
Zel grumbled something that shouldn't be repeated and Lina tsked.
"Such language," she grinned, waving a finger.
"I know worse."
"So do I. But anyway, I guess I got rather long-winded again. The gist of it was that you don't need to prove anything to us. You are Zel. Obsessed, reckless Zel."
Zel shook his head. Lina was just too much. Unbidden, laughter began to bubble up and spill out. Lina watched uncertainly as the chimera gave vent to a thousand different buried emotions at once. At times like this, she could only think of one thing to do.
When Zel began to calm down, Lina gave him a hug.
"You've been alone for way too long." Lina rolled back on her heels. "But we're your friends whether you like it or not. And as your friend, I'm trying to keep you from doing something you'll regret."
There was happy chirping above them. Looking up, they saw the last young white birds take flight from its nest.
"You...you need to be like those birds. Sometimes you just have to step out of the safe world you've always known, take the leap of faith into the unknown. Now that I think about it, you're acting a lot like Koppi Rezo. There's more to life than getting out of a shadow. You need to find your own light."
Lina made a face and looked at the setting sun. "Speaking of light, we've been out here all day. Crap, I haven't eaten a THING. I swear I can finish off a dragon."
Lina began muttering to herself what she was going to order when she got back to the inn. Her feet were already a foot off the ground. "Flying will be faster. Um, Zel, you are coming back right?"
Son of Man
Son of Man's a man for all to see
Zel looked at his reflection in Lina's eyes. Take a leap of faith? Why ever not? He's certainly felt like he's tried everything else.
"Yes, I'm coming back," Zel smiled as he cast his own Ray Wing spell. "To my friends."