"Please declare your reason for entering Saillune," loudly ordered the city gate guards. The current recipient to the oft repeated phrase were some tired, dusty hired guards and their cargo.
"Excuse me, good sir. They are delivering things for my master."
The guard looked up at the tall, incredibly handsome man dressed in what was soon to be the latest rage. Maybe it was only the man's obvious proud bearing and height that set the guard on edge. After all, nobles thought that rank let them get away with anything.
"It doesn't matter sir. We need to know what's being transported."
Igor inclined his head in compliance. "The most important part of the cargo contains an evil cursed mummy who, once left in Saillune, will have its treasure stolen, and then it will awaken and terrorize the people as part of Master Hallow's plan to return this world to eternal night."
"Yeah, yeah. Hallow's Eve isn't for three more days. It's too early for tricks. Bill, go check the boxes. Now really, sir, what are you transporting into the city?"
Bill scooted around the tired and very short-tempered guards to get to the boxes loaded on several wagons. All were stamped with the seals of the countries they passed through which were quite many. On each was a label detailing exactly what was in each box and the signature of the customs official who had inspected the contents.
"Hey you. Open this one," Bill ordered, pointing to the box labeled 'mummy'.
"I wouldn't recommend that."
"You dare to disobey an order from the Saillune Guards?"
The hired guard with the keys exchanged shrugs with his fellow men before removing one key from the large key ring and tossing it to Bill. Bill slightly fumbled in catching it, eliciting several snorts. With stiff dignity, the Saillune Guard opened the locks on the box and peered inside.
"Alright, sir," the first guard said tiredly. "Is this 'mummy' you're insisting you have safe?"
"Absolutely."
"Aaaaaahhh!!"
"There goes another one."
"Bill, be quiet back there! I'm trying to finish the questions," snapped the guard. "So all of these items will be going directly to your master's warehouse near the west gate?"
"That is correct."
"Okay, move along," waved the guard. "It isn't worth it to fill out paperwork on you. There are still several caravans behind you waiting to get in. But if anything happens, you'll be the first person on the Guards' list."
Igor waved the guards to move on in with their cargo. On their way past the gates, Bill was kicked out of the mummy's box and landed in a heap next to the first guard. Bill clung on to his fellow guard's leg and cried.
"There was a mummy in there!" he wailed.
"Not you too," sighed the guard. He looked up at the next person, a very tall and muscular mercenary. "What is your reason for entering Saillune?"
"I've come to ask the great diviners of this fair city to seek my lost love, Lala-san."
"Nee-chan is going to kill me! I'm leaving!" Lina yelled, storming toward the door. Xelloss appeared in front of it, examining his nails even with his gloves on. "Out of the way, Xelloss."
"But Lina-san, you still need to get rid of that - "
"Nee-chan is going to get rid of me when she finds out I'm gone! Now move or I'll throw a Dragu Slave or worse at you. It's going to take long enough already to get back to Zefilia!"
"Zefilia? You mean the uncontested wine country of the world located north-east of the country of Saillune, ruled by the mysterious Masked One, the unknown home to many heroes and many more retired ones, the last known destination of many spies and assassins, and my home?"
Lina and Zelgadiss turned on Arthur. "You're from Zefilia?"
"Yes, I am. I'm the son of Uther who runs the Pen Dragon store in - "
"Pen Dragon?! That's across from my parent's General Store!"
Arthur blinked. "Your parent's? Your one of Katsuhito's daughters?"
"I'm Lina Inverse!"
"Lina Inverse, Lina Inverse," Arthur murmured to himself. "Now where have I heard that?"
"Impossible! How could you not have heard of Lina-san?" Amelia gasped.
"Thanks, Amelia."
"How she is the dark goddess of destruction and harbinger of doom."
"Amelia!" Lina lunged for the princess and trapped her in a headlock. "What are you doing spreading rumors about me!"
"Umm, I have a question."
"What is it, Gourry?" Zelgadiss sighed.
"Who's this thing we're supposed to fight?"
Zelgadiss looked at Gourry and then looked outside the window.
"Why did you do that?"
"To see if any pigs were flying."
Question marks floated around Gourry's head.
"But Gourry has a point. Exactly what is this so-called great evil for which you brought all of us here to Saillune?" Zelgadiss demanded, glaring at Xelloss.
"Well, you see, when the world was created..."
"Filia."
Filia whipped out an iron fan and smashed Xelloss over the head with it.
"What happened to your mace?"
"I couldn't have sharp objects around Val."
"Let's try this again, Xelloss."
"Alright. About 5000 years ago..."
Again came down the iron fan.
"1000 years ago..."
"Amelia, start singing your 'Life is Beautiful' song."
"JackHallowaPrimalCreationfromthedawnontimeandallthatwhowill
plungetheworldintoeternalnightbecausethat'swhathedoesandonly
humanscanstophimsoactuallyFilia-sanbeinghereisoddbutyou - "
"Slow down!!"
"Jack Hallow, a Primal Creation from the dawn of time and all that, will plunge the world into eternal night because that's what he does. And only humans can stop him so actually Filia-san being here is odd but you - "
"And?"
"You interrupted me, Lina-san."
"Get on with it already!" everyone yelled.
"Okay okay. It's just as the chant goes. Old dark one of primal days, The one that seeks to keep the sun away, Come forth again to curse this land, And seize all in your hand, Let ghouls and ghosts walk at night, Return to this realm ancient blight."
"That's just an old nursery rhyme," Lina snorted.
Xelloss shook his finger. "Not just any old nursery rhyme. That's the call to awaken Jack. If you do it at the right place and time, which some bored young nobles unfortunately did."
"What exactly is a Primal Creation? You make it sound like some ancient evil."
"It is, or rather, some of them are. Mazoku are beings that exist outside of this plane. The Primal Creations are of the plane so they exists here and now. Jack Hallow happens to be one of the evil ones and the humans have always beaten him each time he appeared."
"So what's he look like?"
"Oh, a seven-foot tall, slightly disheveled due to misplacement of hay, scarecrow with a carved pumpkin head. Last I saw of him anyway. He may have changed his clothes and candle by now."
Everyone looked at him. Then they looked at each other, exchanging screwball signs and pointing at Xelloss.
"This is very serious!"
Somewhere, in a level of existence that we lowly humans can't truly comprehend with our limited perspectives, two glows were floating. They weren't really glows but that was how we could perceive them.
"They need convincing." Somehow, we know the larger of the two glows said that even though no voice can be heard.
"They're stupid."
"They're children."
"The Primal Creation is there for a reason. You aren't supposed to take sides."
"I'm not."
The smaller glow snorted.
"It's time to go."
"I don't want to."
The larger glow manifested something looking oddly like a shovel and whacked the smaller glow away.
"What do I have to do to get you to believe me?"
"Why would we ever believe a Mazoku?" Filia demanded, turning up her nose.
Xelloss made a face, pulling out his cheek and letting his tongue loll.
"Why you - "
CRASH!
Filia suddenly found herself shielded by Namagomi. And she wasn't the only one in such a predicament. Lina found herself wrapped in Zel's cape.
"What are you doing?!" Lina quickly pushed Zel away, blushing red enough to match her hair.
"I must be dead," groaned a voice.
"A boy just fell through the roof and onto the princess of Saillune," Arthur recapped. "Does this happen often around all of you?"
"Yes," Zelgadiss answered.
"Hey, kid. You alright?" Gourry asked, helping the youth get off of Amelia.
"Sure," he grumbled, pushing his black hair away from his light green eyes. "Nothing another shovel in the back won't cure."
"FIBRIZO?!?" Xelloss, Zel, Lina, and Amelia screamed, immediately backing into the farthest wall from Hellmaster.
"Fibrizo? Hellmaster Fibrizo?" Arthur asked.
"But he's just a kid," Filia protested.
"Who?"
"He captured you and made you fight against us remember?" Lina yelled at Gourry. Gourry scratched his head.
"What are all of you doing?" Fibrizo asked crossly, picking off the last of the wood slivers from his trip through the wooden roof.
"I would just like to say - "
"Stop kissing up, Xelloss." Fibrizo walked over to the couch and plopped onto it.
They all looked at him. He just lay there. They looked at him. He lay there. They -
"Enough! There's no way I'm going to sit here and let you kill me! Darkness beyond - "
"That didn't work last time," Fibrizo pointed out. "And who said I was here to kill you?"
"Eh? Then what are you here for?"
"Part of my service to society," he spat. "Get you going on this silly crusade to stop Jack Hallow. Again I might add."
"You have turned to the side of justice!!" Amelia looked at him adoringly with bright starry eyes.
Fibrizo winced and put on some shades. "No. I was told to do this."
"By who?"
"Does it really matter? Just hurry up and get going you mortals," Fibrizo sighed. "Damn it, I feel so unMazoku."
"Bwahahahaha! The mummy will wreak havoc and destruction in this city!" Jack laughed again.
"Master," Igor interrupted when Jack paused to catch his breath. "Is it wise to send an unbandaged mummy?"
"What's wrong with that?"
"Only that some people may feel cheated."
"You aren't an ugly, hunchbacked, uneducated lab assistant," Jack pointed out. "Besides, a mummy is just a very well-preserved corpse."
"Of course."
"And it has the drive to commit untold atrocities to get what it wants."
"Will that be enough?"
"Probably not. Once we're done here, I need to visit an old witch friend for some random curse casting."
"You will want to look your best then, sir."
"Yes, I will. Now are you done with the hemming?"
Igor double-checked the pinned fabric to make sure it was straight. "Almost, master. I'll be doing the stitches now."
"What's in this crate?"
"Read the label, stupid."
"One bona fide mummy. Hah! Must be a decoration for the Hallow's Eve party at some noble's house."
"Yeah, they can afford stuff like that. So where do we put it?"
"Anywhere is fine."
The two warehouse loaders grunted and heaved and carried the mummy's carton inside.
"Wonder what it looks like."
"Like all mummies. Wrapped in bandages."
"Hey, I heard mummies always had fabulous treasure with them. Let's take a look."
"Come on, man. The guy who bought it probably knows what should be there."
"Just a peek won't hurt." The loader opened the crate. "What a rip-off. This ain't no mummy. It's just a wax dummy."
"Lemme see. It isn't a wax dummy. It's just a dead body." To prove his point, the second loader touched the mummy's skin. "See? Not waxy. Hey, what's this little bauble?"
He uncovered a gold locket underneath the ruffle of lace that fell from the mummy's high collar shirt. The chain broke easily to his tug and he opened up the locket.
"To my dearest and eternal love, Juliette. Check out this babe."
The two loaders looked at the picture of a blond girl bearing a strong resemblance to Gourry. But they didn't know that.
Gourry shivered.
"What's wrong? Catch a cold from your dunk in the river?" Lina asked, slapping Gourry hard on the back. She finally changed into a pair of practical shirt and pants once Fibrizo had convinced them that this Jack Hallow thing was a real threat. Well, okay, the real reason Lina changed was because it was too embarrassing beating up Fibrizo in an extremely short skirt.
"Where is that brat?" Lina demanded, cracking her knuckles. "I want some payback."
"You really are taking advantage of the fact that he's lost his desire to destroy and get revenge," Zelgadiss commented.
"Where are you going?"
"I'm going out to get some supplies. Amelia went to the Nobles' Council to convince them of the danger."
"Aren't you worried about that?"
"It's useless in my opinion but try talking Amelia out of something. You should be getting out of here, Arthur. Things are definitely going to get out of control."
"You'd think I would leave just to save my own skin?" Arthur tsked. "You know me better than that. You can use my help against this coming horde of evil. Besides, I need to get you a nice, caring, and understanding fiancee."
Zelgadiss sweatdropped.
"What are you going to be doing, Lina?"
"Ohhh, investigating suspicious places."
"You mean, investigating restaurants."
"Let's go, Gourry!" Lina snapped, pulling Gourry after her. On her way out, she stuck out her tongue at Zelgadiss.
"Very lively girl," Arthur noted.
"Yeah... Filia, you're trying to divine where Jack Hallow is right?"
"Don't break my concentration!!" Filia shrieked, sending Zelgadiss and Arthur tumbling out the front door and shutting said door firmly behind them. She turned an evil eye on the two Mazoku in the room. "The same goes for you two."
"Not a word."
"You'll never know we were here."
Crossed fingers were held behind both of their backs.
Filia sat down in a huff at the table. Closing her eyes, she concentrated on any powerful auras of evil. It was rather hard with two very big auras right behind her. And they weren't keeping quiet.
"She's rather temperamental for a Ryuzoku," Fibrizo whispered.
"It's quite amusing. Did I tell you of the time when we were in a dragon-hating town and I riled her up enough to make her transform and go on a rampage?"
"I saw it. You had her eating right of your hand. Is it true you have a thing for her?"
"What?!"
"There's a little bet going on, about when you're finally going to do it."
"What are you talking about?"
"Don't play coy. I mean, just look at her. Are you honestly going to tell me the thought never crossed your mind?"
"Dishonestly, no."
"Ah hah!"
"Could you lower your voice? She might be listening."
"This far away? Besides, she's supposed to be divining."
"Then why are her ears steaming?"
"You two..." Filia growled.
"It was all his fault," Fibrizo pointed at Xelloss.
"I've had enough!!"
"Let's see," Zelgadiss looked at his checklist as he left the weaponsmith. "You didn't think a thousand silver throwing daggers was excessive did you?"
"No. And the hundred golden ones ought to cover any higher level werecreatures we might face. What's next?"
A golden dragon suddenly appeared and roared. Zelgadiss turned down the street, still looking at his checklist.
"We need maybe a couple hundred stakes, a wagonload of garlic, several tubs of holy water, lots of steaks..."
"But didn't you already say stakes?"
"Not wooden stakes though that's on the list, beef steaks."
"Beef steaks? What are those for?"
"Lina. To keep her occupied."
"What about that gold dragon?"
"Don't worry. It's just Filia. Fibrizo and Xelloss must have teased her too much again."
"This has happened before?"
"Several times."
"It's a sign that evil is a coming."
Zelgadiss and Arthur stopped and looked at the unshaven man wearing clothes that haven't been washed for a week. He spat to the side, much to the disgust of everyone else, and then eyeballed the two young men. Zelgadiss was glad that his hood and mask were on, this man's eyes had a mad frenzied look in them.
"Name's Harker. Deal with all kinds of supernatural. Downright hate'em I do. Incubus seduced my wife. Werewolf ran off with me mother. Kids possessed by ghosts. Nuth to make a man go crazy."
The two companions edged a bit farther away.
"Heard ya going over yur list of stuff. Sounds like a good hunt to me. I'll be joining ya."
"Thank you but we can take care of this ourselves," Arthur excused as he and Zel began to walk quickly away.
"Ya young'uns are lucky to have ole Harker here to take care of ya. Gonna bag me a vampire for sure this time." Harker spat again as he followed them.
"I suppose you won't let me kill him," Zelgadiss muttered to Arthur.
"Of course not," Arthur muttered back. "But at least you have a mask to filter some of that stench."
"There is a real danger. Jack Hallow isn't just a children's tale, he's real! And he's going to bring our fair world into eternal evil on Hallow's Eve if we don't do something to stop him!"
"Calm down, your highness. No use throwing a fit over things," advised the oily Lord Castor.
"You are young and inexperienced," smiled another noble on the council table, Lord Zerpent. Amelia could just imagine a forked tongue slithering in between this teeth. "There is nothing to fear from an old wives' tale."
"I am serious. We need to double the guards immediately and arm them all with traditional weapons against the supernatural." Amelia tried to keep calm and poised before the older members of the council of noble heads. Even though Saillune was lead by the monarchy and run by bureaucracy, the Nobles' Council held some power in several matters of state. One such business was the arming of the Saillune Guards that served the city.
"This is ridiculous," protested Lord Castor, appealing to the other nobles. "How can Jack Hallow be a real creature? No, I think our dear princess is only getting overly excited by the coming holiday."
"Yes," agreed the weasel-like Lord Vesal. "Next thing, she'll be accusing one of us of being a vampire, like say the Countess Elizabeth Barkley!"
They all looked at the empty chair of the often absent lady, also known as the Blood Countess.
"I mean, just because she never shows herself during the day, gets burns when she does, appears to wash herself in the blood of virgins, turns into a skeleton when you stake her, doesn't make her a vampire!"
"Yes, and she explained that skeleton thing was just an elaborate illusion. Why, she returned to her usual beautiful self when the stake was removed."
"And she bathes in tomato juice, it's just the silly maids spreading rumors."
"There's nothing wrong with not appearing during the day. Personally, I wouldn't be up before mid afternoon if it wasn't for this blasted Council."
"Being pale is all the rage now. No one dares sport darkened skin."
Amelia quietly groaned as the council degenerated once again into a discussion of the latest fads running through the elite of Saillune. How did her father ever get anything done? Perhaps his speeches on pacifism bored them all to death so that they had to vote his way in order to save themselves.
"And yet another restaurant that gets the Lina Inverse stamp of not being a house of the supernatural!"
The poor waiter was crying over the stacks of plates he had to carry back into the kitchen. Gourry and Lina left still chewing on leftovers.
"So where next?" Gourry asked, ripping off a large chunk of meat from his drumstick.
"How about...there!" Lina pointed to a soft serve ice cream stand down the street. "Last one there has to treat!"
"Oi, no fair!"
"Too bad!" Lina laughed, as she neared her goal. "Urk!"
She fell ungracefully onto the street as she was jerked back by her cape.
"Gourry!" Lina snapped but looked up to see someone else. "Uh, hi Zel."
"And just what do you think you're doing?" Zel asked evenly.
"Ummm..."
"Forget it. We still have work to do. Come on." Holding on to her arm, Zel dragged her kicking and pleading behind him.
"Ah, let go, Zel! I want to get some soft serve! Saillune has the best soft serve and I haven't had it yet this time. Please! I'll treat!"
Zelgadiss ignored her entreaties. "Come on, Gourry."
"Um, alright."
Gourry fell into step with Arthur who was keeping his distance from the alternately screaming and whining Lina being dragged along by Zel. Harker suddenly appeared in their path, looking darkly at Lina.
"What do you want now, Harker?" Zel asked with an edge.
Harker spit to the side before putting his hand into his dirty patched vest. "Good thing I was here, boy."
Zelgadiss raised an eyebrow. "How so?"
"Ya got yaself a witch. And ole Harker knows how to deal with 'em."
"A witch?! Me?!"
"It all makes sense now," Gourry nodded.
"You shut up!" Lina roared at him.
"Nothing a good burning at stake won't cure," Harker spat again, pulling out a length of moldy rope. "Gonna rope ya in so ya can't fly off on ya broomstick."
"I'm not a witch!" Lina retorted. "What the hell makes you think I'm one!"
"Xelloss! Come back here!"
"What a violent dragon."
"What was that?!"
Xelloss ran by them.
"A Mazoku! The evil of evil creatures! Ole Harker's gonna slay ya!!"
Everyone breathed a deep sigh of relief when he, and his stench, left. Filia came running up, out of breath.
"Where...is that...Namagomi..."
"Currently occupied." Zel looked down the street where Xelloss had disappeared. "Isn't anyone taking this seriously?"
"Hard to take something seriously when we don't even know what we're going up against," Lina retorted. "What else can we do but wait for this pumpkin head scarecrow to show up?"
"Excuse me, is anyone home?"
Igor's knocks rang hollowly. He looked at his master and shrugged. But just when he was about to open the door, it opened by itself.
"Who is it?" asked a sweet young voice.
"I am Jack Hallow. I've come to seek the services of the witch of curses, Amarelza."
"Jack Hallow? As in that children's rhyme?"
"One and the same."
The voice giggled. "Please come in."
Jack Hallow and his incubus servant stepped into the small hovel. They both had to bend over to keep themselves from hitting their heads on the ceiling.
"Amarelza?"
"Grandma isn't here anymore, I'm afraid," giggled the voice. "She got burned at stake."
"That's dreadful news."
"Not really," said the voice cheerfully. "The people responsible are all cursed to start stripping their clothing whenever they enter a temple of Ceiphied."
"Now that is what I call a curse. Who was the one who did that?"
"My mother."
"And may I speak to her?"
"Ummmm...she's sort of busy."
"Busy? Too busy to come meet the great Jack Hallow?"
"Well, she's sort of lost."
"Lost where?"
"In the broom closet."
"...I see. And what about you?"
A young cute girl with curly blond hair and wearing a pink frilly dress stepped forward from the shadows. Jack and Igor couldn't help but sweatdrop at this little witch.
"And you are?"
"Kandy."
"How sickenly sweet. Now, little Kandy, aren't there any warlocks in the family?"
Kandy crossed her arms and thought, twisting her face chubby face into another cute expression. "Well, Daddy got melted by a bucket of soapy water with a dash of lemon. But I think Big Brother is - "
A small bat suddenly swooped into the room from the chimney. In its claws was a small message. Kandy took the message and fed the bat a berry. Opening it, she frowned adorably.
"Oh, never mind. Big Brother was just melted. So that only leaves me."
"Are you sure you're a witch?"
"Of course I am!" Kandy stomped her foot on the ground. "I am the granddaughter of Amarelza of Curses!"
"Then asking if you can cast curses would be pointless," Jack sighed. He came looking for a first class curse caster and was left with a six year old cherub who claimed to be a witch. But who would suspect her? "Alright, Kandy. I need you to do Uncle Jack a little favor."
"Okay. What is it?" Kandy smiled brightly.
"Could you turn that down?"
Kandy smiled less brightly.
"Thank you. I need you to find some people and then curse them. Can you do that?"
"Yes. If you tell me who they are."
"I can tell you who they would be around," Jack smiled evilly. "Are you familiar with a purple-haired man calling himself Xelloss?"
"Is this the right warehouse?"
"They all look the same to me."
"I wasn't asking you, Gourry. Filia?"
The dragon priestess opened her eyes from her brief divining. "Yes, there is unmistakably an aura of the supernatural here."
"Good. This had better be it. I need to get back home," Lina muttered. "Fireball!"
The warehouse door went up in smoke along with some of the crates inside.
"Lina-san! Was that necessary?"
"I needed to blow up something. I missed the FFF association protest." Lina marched inside the dark building. "Okay, whatever you are, come out! I don't have all day!"
"...all day...all day..." echoed her voice.
"Hey, that's cool!"
"...cool...cool...cool..." echoed Gourry's voice.
Lina rolled her eyes. "Well, where is it, Filia?"
"That open crate over there."
Filia pointed to a rectangular crate whose lid had been opened. All around it were other opened crates whose contents spilled forth, glittering, onto the warehouse floor.
"Treasure!" Lina pounced on the gold and jewels. "This must be someone's way of apologizing to me."
"Ano, Lina-san. The crate...?"
"Go look at it yourself, Filia. You're a priestess. You can probably handle whatever comes out." Lina dismissed, quickly digging through the treasure crates.
"It's just some dead guy," Gourry told them, looking at the mummy. "When did they put dead people in warehouse?"
"...liette..."
"Huh?" Gourry looked over at Filia and Lina but neither were paying attention to him. Perhaps it has been his imagination.
"Juliette..."
Gourry looked down into the crate. The mummy's eyes popped open and fixed on him. This was not good.
"Um, Lina? Filia?" Gourry called, backing away from the crate.
The mummy's cold flat eyes followed the swordsman as it bared its teeth. Not a very difficult thing to do since it didn't even have any lips anymore. Suddenly, it leaped for Gourry.
"Aaah!"
Lina and Filia snapped their heads around. And their jaws dropped.
The mummy had glomped Gourry and was currently nuzzling the swordsman.
"Get it off!!"
"What is that? Too well preserved to be a mummy," Filia wondered.
"Mummy?"
"This is your mom?!" Gourry asked aghast as he tried to keep the mummy from kissing him.
"Oh, my Juliette."
"Who the hell is Juliette?!"
"My love, don't you recognize me? I am your Romeo."
"You're a guy?!"
"What is going on?" Filia asked, eyebrow twitching.
"Damned if I know," Lina shrugged. "Hey, Gourry. Can you keep him busy for a bit longer?"
"Keep him busy? What do you mean keep him busy?!" Gourry finally pried the mummy off and threw him onto the ground. "Look, I don't know who you think I am but I am not this Juliette person! I'm a GUY! Got it?"
Romeo looked at Gourry. "I do believe you're right. You are a guy."
"See?" Gourry crossed his arms. "Now I - "
"But it doesn't matter to me because my love transcends mortal shells and ties us at the very soul!"
Gourry facefaulted. "You've got the wrong person!"
"But I understand that you may be hesitant and shy in that strange body. Fear not, my eternal love, for I, your great Romeo, hold the key to our love! This scroll will...will..." Romeo patted himself. "It isn't here! It must be with my treasure." The mummy dove into this treasure, the same that Lina was digging through. "Ah, here it is. With this scroll, I will return you to your former glory, oh my love."
"Lina-san, shouldn't you do something?"
"Don't worry. If the spell's purpose is to revert a person to their previous form, it won't work on Gourry because he doesn't have another form."
"Quack."
A white duck with some yellow feathers glared balefully at Lina.
"Oops. Wrong scroll," laughed the mummy. He jumped back into the treasure pile, tossing jewels and coins left and right, until he found the right scroll.
"Now this will return you to your true form, oh light of my life."
"Lina-san..."
"What are the chances of him actually having a change gender spell?"
Gourry shook his head. He wasn't a duck anymore. That was good news. The swordsman stood up, ready to gut that dead thing from throat to groin. But his balance was off. Gourry finally opened his eyes and looked down.
She shrieked.
Filia and Lina were again speechless. Gourry was now looking very much like his cross dressing self but wearing a low-cut, provocative dress that probably only Naga would ever wear. And he even had a bigger bust than Lina.
"Someone is making fun of me!" Lina screamed.
"What did you do to me?!" Gourry yelled, trying to punch the mummy but spun off balance because his center of gravity had changed. Romeo caught and gave his Juliette a tight hug.
"We are finally reunited!"
"Let go of me, you pervert!" Gourry jabbed his, I mean her elbow into Romeo's chest. "Change me back!"
"But my dear," Romeo wheezed, holding his chest. "I don't know the spell to change you back."
"WHAT?!"
"Lala-san!"
"Oh no, not you too!" Gourry groaned as the long absent Volun made his reappearance at a most inopportune time.
"What are you talking about? That's is my Juliette!"
"Lala-san, is that thing bothering you?"
"Lay a hand on my love will you? En garde!"
"Hah!"
Gourry decided, very wisely, to take this chance to RUN. If this was a nightmare, he hoped he would wake up very soon in a man's body.
"Lala-san!"
"Juliette!"
"Come back!!" called the two lovesick people, one alive and one dead, as they ran after their blond goddess.
"What just happened?" Filia asked.
"Forget it," Lina grumbled. "Even when he's a girl, he's got a better figure. That's it, I'm taking all of this treasure."
"Shouldn't we go after them?"
"What for? Gourry can probably escape them. And anyway, it isn't as if either of us know of a way to turn him back."
"True..."
Zelgadiss and Arthur staggered out of the garlic shop. Collapsing onto the street and gulping large breaths of fresh air, Zel crossed off the wagonload of garlic from the checklist. Harker walked calmly out and removed the clothespin from his nose.
"Yep, that'll get the vampires for sure."
"With that many, who wouldn't it get?" Zel muttered getting to his feet.
"Get away from me!" screamed a blond girl racing down the street, zipping by Zelgadiss, Arthur, and Harker.
Zelgadiss blinked and then shook his head. "I did not just see that."
"See what?" Arthur asked.
"See a female Gourry run by."
"Well, if you didn't see it, then I didn't see it either."
"Actually," Xelloss put in. "That was Gourry-san."
"How...never mind. I don't want to know."
"Mazoku!"
"Here we go again," Xelloss sighed as Harker began trying to stake him through the heart again. "That's only rumored to work on vampires you know."
"Let's go, Arthur," Zel signaled to his friend.
"Excuse me."
Zel and Arthur looked down. A angelic little girl with blond curls and pink ribbons smiled innocently up at them.
"Yes?"
"Were you with that purple-haired man?"
"I wish I weren't," Zel muttered.
"Oh, okay." The girl pulled a small book from her satchel. She thumbed through the pages. "This one should work."
"What should work?"
The girl closed the book and put it away. She pointed a pudgy finger at Zelgadiss. "Rick rack...um..."
"Black cat?" Arthur suggested.
"Uh yeah. Rick rack, black cat. By this spell, hell...er..."
The girl frantically looked around and spied a candy store.
"Candy makes you fat!"
Zelgadiss raised an eyebrow. What was this little girl doing?
"Inversed reversed, cursed be...what was the word? Ritten? Mitten?"
"Smitten? Though that doesn't really make sense either," Arthur admitted.
Zelgadiss's eyes narrowed. "What are you up to?"
The little girl backed away. "Umm...what were the words again?"
"Who sent you?" Zel demanded, grabbing the girl roughly by the front of her dress."
"Zelgadiss! She's just a child!"
"No, she isn't," Zel said coldly. "She's a witch."
Kandy gulped. "Rick rack, black cat. By this spell, hell candy makes you fat! Inversed reversed, cursed by smitten..." She saw a kitten crossing the street behind her victim. "Become a cute white kitten!"
Poof!
Kandy fell hard onto the ground. "Itaaaaaai."
"Mreow."
Arthur blinked, looking at the white kitten with blue eyes that he had caught in his hands. He looked around but there was no Zelgadiss anywhere.
"Zelgadiss?"
The kitten looked balefully at him.
"Ahh, how cute," Kandy gushed. "Can I keep him?"
"I don't think witches usually keep their cursed victims."
Kandy's face fell. "I guess you're alright. But I can't believe it. This wasn't supposed to happen at all."
Arthur already figured that part out. Even though he wasn't a spellcaster, that chant the little witch used was very patched together.
"Why don't you go home and study your curses so next Hallow's Eve you can cast one right?"
"Okay!" Kandy agreed, skipping off. "Oh. Um, could you not..."
"Tell anyone about this? Wouldn't dream of it."
"Alright. Thank you!"
"Bye!" Arthur waved, ignoring the tiny claws digging into his hand. "What are you so angry about?"
Like any other normal animal, Zel the cute white kitten couldn't verbally communicate. So it just glared at Arthur.
"I suppose you're not too crazy about your latest curse. But you should consider yourself lucky that you just ended up as a kitten. Imagine what would happen if she saw a pig or something."
The kitten shuddered but still glared at Arthur.
"You think she can lift the curse? She barely even cast it. No, I think it was best to send her on her way. Perhaps we can ask everyone else - "
"Mreow!"
"You don't me to ask them? You don't want me to say anything about this."
The kitten nodded.
"As your brother-in-arms, I can only obey your wishes," Arthur sighed, smoothing the fur on the kitten's back. There was a pet store just several doors down. "However, as we are in Saillune, you're going to need a collar and an owner."
If it could, the kitten would have made a face. Instead, he just rolled his blue eyes and swished his white tail irritably.
"Now, you behave. You don't want to be neutered do you?"
The kitten became even paler at the thought. And with that cheerful thought, Arthur took his friend into the pet shop with a nice little plan hatched in his mind.