"Cheep! Cheep! Cheep!"
"Cheep! Cheep! Cheep!"
"Cheep! Cheep! Cheep!"
A hand emerged from underneath the blankets, groping across the nightstand for that blasted new-fangled water clock with an alarm. Usually, the owner of the hand didn't need to be woken up but last night had been a late night. Finally finding the clock, the fingers poked and prodded it until the annoying bird chirps turned off. Then the hand crept back to where it was warm.
The alarm clock wasn't happy about that.
"SQUAWK! SQUAWK! SQUAWK! SQUAWK! SQUAWK! SQUAWK! SQUAWK! SQUA - "
"Fireball!"
Lina snuggled deeper into her sheets, dreaming of a week long All-You-Can-Eat buffet and her sister meekly serving her. Yeah, dreams are nice aren't they?
There was no school that day so Lina could sleep in. There was however the Swords and Sorcery school festival which was what Lina had stayed up late the night before preparing. Everyone was supposed to dress up as adventurers if they were part of the school sponsoring the fair.
One such student was leaning against the pillar of the gate to the school grounds. Unlike most students, he was dressed practically in pants and tunic, his real sword secured on his sword belt. The cape signified his skill in magic and everyone supposed that the hood and mask were just for mystique. That was at least the rumor that the ZFC was spreading.
Zelgadiss tapped his foot impatiently. He wouldn't even be here normally, he hated being among throngs of people. But because of a certain person who will remain nameless, he had to show up at this school festival. So where was she?
Something black, yellow, and mauve zoomed by, not at the speed of sound but at a highly dangerous speed for anyone who was only of flesh and blood. Zelgadiss just stood there as the blur came to a screeching halt in mid-air and drifted back.
"Zel?"
"I should have figured you'd be late," Zelgadiss coolly looked at her eye to eye because she was hovering above the ground. "And over-dressed as well."
"Over-dressed?! Excuse me, this is what I always wear when I was on the road!" Lina gestured angrily at her clothes. If you're wondering, she was wearing a sleeveless yellow shirt with mauve jeans with a black cape and shoulder guards that showed considerable wear and tear. "I dare you to tell me where I'm overdressed!"
"All of those magic amulets are overdoing things. This is only a school festival."
"I suppose you're just ecstatic about it," Lina snorted, looking under Zel's hood. "All covered up like that. If you're trying to make yourself inconspicuous, you're doing a terrible job."
"And you would be the expert on subtleness?" Zelgadiss caught the glint of something. He grabbed her by the arm and dragged her into the school grounds. "Let's go."
"Hey!"
On the wall behind where Lina had been standing, something splattered and dripped liquid down the wall. If you followed the straight path it could have taken, you would arrive at some bushes in which were hidden a pair of twins. If twins could be born two generations apart.
"Not a bad shot, Grandpa," Kitzero complimented, wearing safari khaki hunting clothes. "Especially for a blind guy."
"Did I get her?"
"Nope, Zel pulled her out of the way. I do believe he noticed us."
"There goes one bullet of Love Potion Beta 2.0," sighed Rezo. "But thankfully..."
"We still have 200 bullets more!" laughed both semi-mad chemists.
"To the hunt, Grandpa?"
"To the hunt! But perhaps you should do the rest of the shooting. Don't want to hit the wrong people."
"Oh no, we'd never want that."
"Are you done yet?" Zelgadiss asked with barely concealed annoyance. Lina shook her head, only because she was too busy trying to hold and consume the cotton candy, soft serve ice cream, and whatever else could give you cavities. "What a pig."
"!!" was all Lina could do until she swallowed. "What do you mean pig?!"
"Take a look in a mirror," Zelgadiss replied calmly walking away.
"Why don't you take a look in a mirror?" Lina snapped, trying to keep up his faster pace and longer steps.
"Because it would probably crack."
"You are really hung up on your appearance."
"Let's just get through this stupid tournament," Zelgadiss muttered, noting the two creatures who were outside of the natural habitat, namely the chemistry lab. Those two weren't about to give up were they? Stupid stubborn Graywords personality trait.
"Just so long as we win it." Lina pretended she didn't notice all of the ZFC skulking around giving her death glares. Not to mention all of them were dressed like her. If any of them thought they could replace her so easily, she was going to teach them a fiery lesson.
Kitzero loaded a special love potion shower bullet into the rifle.
ZFC Member #176, #29, #213, and #2 prepared their spells to blast that red-haired witch who had charmed their beloved Zelgadiss-sama. After she was gone, then they would fight it out to see who got to be Zelgadiss-sama's luck-favored partner.
Two people prepared for an onslaught.
Two groups prepared to do the onslaught.
There was a cute white kitten just sitting around being cute for not reason whatsoever. In fact, this has nothing to do with the story at all. At least, not with this story. You see -
"Down!" Zel yelled just as Lina yelled "Scatter!"
They looked at each other. "What?"
Kitzero fired his rifle.
The four ZFC members unleashed their spell, bringing a Brass Demon onto school grounds. That is, by the way, sufficient cause for a suspension. Luckily, these four do have some sense in their Zel-crazy minds because during this festival, people are likely to think the Brass Demon is fake.
Zelgadiss, having the faster reaction time of the two, grabbed Lina and jumped. You know, one of those amazingly high jumps that let you land on rooftops and such. During their airtime, they watched the bullet that had been aimed for Lina instead strike the Brass Demon. Amazingly, the Brass Demon wasn't killed but it was infused with a dosage of the Beta 2.0 version love potion. And the first person it saw was...
"Who cast an unauthorized spell?" Amelia demanded, pulling in extra time as festival security before the tournament began.
The Brass Demon looked lovingly at the first year student wearing a cream adventuring clothes set complete with blue magic talismans engraved with the Saillune hexagram. Amelia wasn't as receptive to the attention.
"Are you a real Brass Demon?"
Being unable to speak, it nodded.
"Who summoned you?"
The Brass Demon readily pointed out ZFC members #176, #29, #213, and #2 who were quietly trying to leave the scene of the crime. Normally, it wouldn't be this helpful but love, natural or induced, does strange things to one's mind.
"You four are hereby under arrest for unauthorized spellcasting, unauthorized summoning of a Brass Demon, and for resisting arrest!" Amelia yelled after the four disappearing girls. She turned to the Brass Demon which had many pink puffy hearts floating around it. "You don't have a permit to be on school grounds. Leave immediately!"
The Brass Demon gave her puppy dog eyes, or its best imitation of puppy dog eyes which still in the end looked very odd. The little pink hearts it kept sending kept bouncing off of Amelia so she didn't realize its artificially induced feelings for her.
"...at least we know it works," Kitzero scratched his head sheepishly.
"Did you get Zel's girlfriend? Or even Zel for that matter."
"Nope, I hit a Brass Demon."
"And the Brass Demon is now in love with the first creature it saw?"
"Quite."
"Interesting. We must observe this for further documentation."
"But this isn't a controlled environment," Kitzero pointed out. "Too many variables. Let's get Zel's love life going and then experiment with lovesick Brass Demons."
"Where is my great-grandson? I don't hear him backtalking anyone."
"Put me down already!" Lina hissed, hoping the hair falling over her face would hide her embarrassment. She never needed anyone's help. "What do I look like? A sack of potatoes?"
"No."
Lina waited for his oh-so-witty retort and she wasn't disappointed. Angry yes, disappointed no.
"A sack of potatoes has more curves than you."
"Jerk!" Reflexively, Lina tried to punch him but only succeeded on bruising her knuckles against his stone skin. "Itaaai."
"Your own fault," Zelgadiss smirked as he finally landed. With not so much as a second's thought, he dropped the ungrateful girl.
"No, don't!" Lina yelled.
"Hey, you sa-EEEDDDDDDDDDD!!"
The 'ground' beneath them ripped and the two fell below onto the stage in the middle of the performance of the great battle between Migel and Abran, respective champions of good and evil. In fact, they dropped right in between the two stars of the show, Filia and Xelloss.
"I've heard of people desperate for any kind of role but I think this takes the cake," Xelloss murmured but was still heard by the entire audience.
"XELLOSS-SAMA!!" cheered a section of the audience waving a 'We Love Xelloss' banner.
"Don't tell me there's a Xelloss Fan Club (XFC) too," Lina groaned.
"Frightening isn't it?" Zelgadiss shrugged.
"Will you two exit stage left right now so we can get on with this play?" Filia growled civilly if that was even possible.
"Oh let them stay," Xelloss cajoled. "It's only the fight scene, Filia-san. They can be extras."
"ZELGADISS-SAMA!!" swooned the ZFC who were climbing over the already present audience in order to see their idol on stage.
"And if we send Zel-kun off stage now, we'll have a riot on our hands."
"Fine." Filia pulled out her mace.
Xelloss sweatdropped. "Ano, Filia-san. Migel used a sword."
"I didn't know swords were long, brown, and had a red gem in one end," retorted the school nurse, pointing at Xelloss's staff.
"And Migel wasn't elven..."
"I'm a Gold Dragon! And if we're picky about casting, Abran didn't have purple hair!"
Insults began to fly between the two staff members and the audience, except for XFC, were enjoying themselves immensely. The XFC were half shouting down Filia and half shouting down ZFC to prove who was more enthusiastic about their idol. Add in the fact that at least 20% of the members were in both clubs and you had a general chaotic mess brewing in the audience floor.
"Was this supposed to happen?" Lina asked.
Zelgadiss only shook his head.
"I've got her right in my sights," Kitzero confirmed, marking Lina in the crosshairs of the targeting lenses. "Zelgadiss, my nephew, consider yourself a lucky man."
He fired. The bullet had a clear path to Lina and she was currently looking at Zelgadiss. Nothing could go wrong.
Therefore, something had to.
"HOHOHOHO! You can not escape the vengeance of Zoamelguster!" Martina leaped down from the catwalks onto the stage floor before Lina. "And now I will-Ow!"
Kitzero shook his head. "Perhaps we should put it in her food."
"What was that?" Martina snapped, looking to see who had dared to strike the Princess of Zoana from behind. She was allowed to do it, just not anyone else. And her eyes fell on...Xelloss. Enter big pulsing heart eyes.
"All of you students get off the stage right now!" Filia ordered. "And as for you, Nama - "
"Xelloss-sama!" Martina clung to the teacher's arm, much to the dismay of the XFC and the ZFC and Filia.
"She's not even a member of our club!" roared XFC.
"Miss President! How could you have turned away from Zelgadiss-sama!" wailed ZFC.
"You two-faced, two-timing, womanizing, - " Filia growled as flames erupted around her.
"A-Ano, Filia-san. I assure you I have not been encouraging her."
"That doesn't look like it to me!!" roared the Gold Dragon as she stalked up to the teacher.
Then all hell broke loose. As Filia was lunging for Xelloss, the XFC came to the defense of the idol. Then the ZFC tried to take back their president and undue the brainwashing but remembered Zelgadiss was on stage with Lina and decided then and there to put Lina out of the picture. For some reason, school rivalries also broke out and there was Eastern going against Western going against Southern going against Northern.
And where were the two whose presence partially instigated this giant cross-school fight? They were sitting in a tree that was a safe distance away.
"These festivals are more fun than I thought," Lina grinned, swinging her legs.
"I don't think this is what usually happens," Zelgadiss corrected. "That stage can't possibly hold all of those people."
"With the patchwork job we did on it last night?" Lina snorted. "Not a chance in hell."
And because Lina Inverse said it, so it came to pass. The makeshift stage collapsed in a big cloud of dust and exploding firecrackers that were supposed to be released later.
"Are you sure you aren't some bad luck charm?"
"Shut up."
"Your attention please. Your attention please." Amelia's voice ran out loud and clear over the school grounds. "Will all contestants for the Swords and Sorcery tournament please assemble at the central magic field."
"That's us."
"Well, let's go!"