The Dragon Fang bandits were on Code Red. Code Red Red. Code Red Red Red Red. The Enemy of all who Live had been sighted in a nearby village and without a doubt, the Bandit Killer would learn where they were. Defcon 5 was initiated.
"The Dra-mata is a monster. It must be stopped," demanded the second in command.
"That thing is a thing of scientific value. We must study how it could be so destructive," argued the resident mage.
"I fear for all of humanity," mourned one of the bandits.
"Cut the gag routine," ordered the Boss. "We've got three defensive lines up plus with the reinforcements from my brothers-"
"BOSS!!" shrieked a half-burnt bandit as he half-burst, half-flew through the door. He scrambled over to the Bandit Boss and grabbed his leg. "It was terrible. Terrible. And it's coming."
"You mean it's broken through the first wall?" came the terrified shouts.
The messenger shook his head in fear. "No, it's - "
"FIRE..."
"WHAT THE HELL?!?!" cried the Bandit Boss.
"BAALLLL!!!"
And the Dragon Fang Bandit's War room was engulfed in an inferno.
"The evil bandits fall before her magical might," said the figure that appeared amidst the flames. "Just like many others before them. They beg on their knees, offering a share of the treasure, leadership of the band, anything to spare their own pitiful lives. But she doesn't yield."
As the flames died down, the speaker becomes clearer. It is a young sorceress dressed in mauve tunic and pants with white gloves and boots. Her black cape flutters in the heat waves created by her fiery entrance, the gems on the black shoulder guards sparkling in the fire light. Even her eyes were like rubies and only a black headband held her flowing red hair. To the surviving bandits, she appeared as a demon.
"Because evil people have no rights!" she crowed as she skipped lightly onto the remains of the table and bent over to look at the second in command eye to eye. "So tell me where's your treasure."
"Oh the youth these day," moaned the badly burnt resident mage. "Interrupting a war room meeting. What have they come to these days?"
"Flare Arrow!" was the only response the mage got for his mumbling.
"You were mentioning the location of your treasure I believe?" the sorceress smiled sweetly when suddenly the table underneath her rose up. "What?"
Losing her balance she fell backwards but curled into a roll to land back on her feet, ready for any threat. And the sorceress looked up, and up.
The leader of the Dragon Fang Bandits, commonly known as Boss, was tall enough to hit the ceiling and he had muscles as big as watermelons. Which reminded her that she was feeling hungry.
"So, the stories were true," growled the bear-like Boss. The sorceress fluffed her hair and struck a pose. "My reputation proceeds me."
"The Bandit Killer..."
"...is the beautiful genius sorceress Lina Inverse!" Lina preened.
"...is a flat-chested kid."
"Shut up!" Lina screamed as she leaped up into the air and delivered her patented "Inverse Screw Kick" into the Boss's face. "You're so rude! Calling me a flat-chested kid! I am NOT flat-chested and I am NOT a kid!"
The Boss fell to the ground and Lina stepped off of his face. She grabbed a somewhat conscious bandit.
"Tell me where the treasure is!"
"It's...it's in..." the bandit stuttered.
"What is that? Speak up?" Lina shouted, all the while shaking the man like crazy.
"Don't tell that brat anything!"
Lina barely leapt out of the way as a huge broadaxe caved in the wall where her head had been. The bandit whom she had been shaking took one look at how close the sharp edge of the axe was to his head and fainted dead away. Lina and the Boss gave the bandit disgusted looks.
"What can I say?" the Boss shrugged, easily pulling out the axe. "It's so hard to find good help these days."
Lina nodded in agreement. "Which is why I work alone."
With a roar, Boss lunged at Lina, swinging the axe in a wide arc that just clipped Lina's arm.
"Well, we bandits can't afford that. There'd be too much of us on the job market then," Boss continued as if he and Lina were discussing economics over tea.
Lina looked at the shallow cut on her arm. "Not bad. You cut me. Now it's my turn. Balus Rod!"
A whip of light snaked away from Lina's hand. This was a Black Offensive magic spell. The whip would be under Lina's complete control but it lacked in range. No problem in this case since with this big guy, Lina needed to take him down hard and fast. He could outlast in her physical combat and she couldn't dodge that big axe of his forever.
"Call me Queenie!" Lina cackled as she mercilessly whipped the Boss into submission and beyond.
"Ara?" Lina poked the Boss with her toe half an hour later. He was out like a rock. "Maybe I overdid it a bit... Nah."
Looking around, Lina found that there were still some bandits left. If they had any brains at all they would have fled while she was having fun with the Boss. But then, if they did have brains they certainly wouldn't be working as bandits. She took her pick of the bunch.
"Okay you. Take me to your treasure."
Lina added a prepped and ready fireball to her demand and the bandit quickly complied. Opening a fake bookcase revealed a room stocked full of treasure. It wasn't as if Lina didn't already know where the treasure was, after all why would dumb bandits need a bookshelf full of books when none of them could read, but she didn't want to go through the trouble of disarming any traps herself.
Lina did a thorough inventory of the Dragon Fang Bandit's stock with the remaining surviving bandits all tied up and crying. Not bad, not bad. She was expecting a larger haul, based on what the people in town had said. Well, people are prone to exaggeration after all.
"Well, I've taken enough to cover my expenses," Lina said dusting herself off as she stood up.
The bandits all gave her disbelieving looks.
"What? I need to live too you know. Oh, here come the locals right on time."
Lina felt it was a very satisfying day. Not only had she collected the bounty on the Dragon Fang Bandits but she also got some of their treasure. The remaining bandits had yelled the usual obscenities, tried to turn the locals against her by saying she had made off with a quarter of their treasure. Lina had loudly protested that claim. Now if they had said half...
Lina hummed happily to herself as walked down the sun-dappled forest trail. The village elder had said there was another town at the end of this forest that was also suffering from bandit problems.
"Lucky!" Lina grinned. She would be out of the forest just before sundown so she'll be sleeping in a real bed tonight. As nice as it was out of doors under the starry sky, a nice soft bed with fluffy blankets always hit the spot after a hard day's working of subduing bandits. So it was these happy thoughts occupying her head when Lina made her way out of the forest (just at sundown as she had predicted), when she came to the crossroads.
And who should be there but another band of bandits.
"Well, well. What have we here?" leered their boss. He had a striking facial resemblance to the Boss but nowhere near the build in muscle or height.
Lina placed a hand on one hip. "Hmmm. Is this always how you work or am I just special?"
"Huh. Don't fool with me girl. Unlike my older brother I won't underestimate you."
"So the Boss was your older brother? You have my condolences. After all we can't choose our relatives," Lina smirked.
"Shut up!" Boss #2 yelled, at the same time punching out the man next to him. "You may have been able to take him down by surprise but we're prepared. And no matter how good of a magic user you are you can't beat all of us."
"All of you?" Lina yawned looking over the thirty or so bandits at the crossroads. "I've dealt with bigger things than this."
"Yes," Boss #2 grinned. "All of us."
He lifted up a lighted torch, Lina had no idea where he produced that from, and waved it in a circle. It was some kind of signal and Lina soon found out exactly what kind of symbol it was. All around, waves upon waves of torches lit up across the green open fields.
"Hey now, isn't this a bit much?" Lina smiled nervously. It was practically an army.
"Not so confident now are we? Little girl."
Lina gritted her teeth. "Little...girl...?"
"Get her!" Boss #2 ordered and the bandit horde began to move in.
Lina swallowed her desire to just fireball Boss #2 here and now. Survival came first. Bandits were used to either solitary or small group maneuvers. This whole army thing was beyond their ken. She could use that to her advantage. They were all crowding over each other to get to her. A very simple and perfect solution came to mind and Lina readied the spell.
"Levi - "
"Hold it right there!"
Lina's spell faltered and all the bandits halted. Actually Boss #2 had to turn around because the voice had come directly behind him. And he promptly received a punch in the nose.
"You should all turn around and go home to your mommies."
Angry murmuring were the only response. Only a little bit of the sun's light was still visible, enough for Lina to see that the stranger was tall, had long blond hair, handsome, and a fighter.
"'ho e 'ell r 'ou?" garbled Boss #2 with his nose broken.
"I don't need to give a name to trash like you."
"'et 'im!" screamed Boss #2 and the bandits surged onto the stranger.
Lina had in the meantime levitated herself above the fray and was just watching. Once she was sure that the stranger could handle himself, she settled down to think about the situation. This was just like in those fairy tales she used to have read to her before bed. Whenever a damsel was in distress, a strong and handsome fighter will appear from nowhere to save her. Of course such romantic notions were usually dashed onto rocks and broken into a million pieces when reality stuck its ugly nose in.
Still, Lina thought to herself, it couldn't hurt to act the part. So she took a deep breath and let loose a high pitched scream that could possible shatter glass but was definitely shattering her vocal cords. Lina was used to yelling, not shrieking. Well, no time like the present to get into practice.
So if anyone came upon a certain crossroad just after sundown, they would have seen a strange sight. There would be one man single-handedly defeating an army of bandits while above him, floating in the air was a girl screaming like she was in some sort of danger.
The world is large place where many mysterious things happen.
Lina wondered how anyone could keep up high pitched shrieks for more than a couple of minutes. She was getting hoarse. Her stomach was growling like a bear. She wanted to go to sleep. So she did the first thing that came to mind. Putting her fingers in her mouth, she gave a shrill whistle.
Everyone, well everyone that was still standing which was the stranger and maybe half of the bandit army, stopped what they were doing and looked up. Lina gave the timeout signal.
"You know guys it's getting late. I'm really hungry and I want to sleep. Can't we finish this in the morning?"
There were murmurs of consent.
"'at 'o you 'ean 'inish in 'e 'orning?" yelled Boss #2.
"And get that nose fixed," Lina smirked.
Several bandits pulled their boss away as he yelled barely intelligibly obscenities at Lina who really couldn't understand all of them with his bad pronunciation. Plus her attention was focused on her stomach which was complaining loudly. She lowered herself to the ground next to the stranger and was about to pat him soundly on the back for a job well done but then remembered she was supposed to be playing the part of a damsel in distress.
"I'm so glad you showed up when you did. I didn't know what to do when all of those mean bandits suddenly appeared. Thank you very much for your help." Which I really didn't need but I was raised to be polite. "Well, I've got to go now. Later."
Lina began to walk off but the stranger grabbed her arm.
"Wha-what?" Lina stammered as the stranger looked at her under the full moonlight. He looked at her from one side and then the other. She wondered what the hell he was doing.
"But you're just a kid."
The stone letters of "kid" fell on Lina's head.
"I thought it might have been some beautiful princess with all the fuss the bandits were making. Wonder why they were attacking a flat-chested girl?"
Even more stone letters fell on Lina's head.
Why does he talk like I'm not even here standing next to him?!? Lina fumed.
A pair of heavy hands fell on her shoulders and Lina looked up into the stranger's face.
"You shouldn't be wandering alone at night like this. I'll take you to the next town and get you a place to sleep."
Well, Lina thought, this might not be too bad. Free bed for a night.
"And something to eat. You look like a stick."
Lina was torn between the elation of getting free room and board for a night and beating the crap out of the guy for his remarks about her figure. So she was on the small side for someone of her apparent age. Why can't people just lay off on that!
"Hey! Come on, little girl," the stranger hollered from a bit farther down the road. "It's very easy to get lost at night so stay close to me."
"My name is Lina," Lina gritted as she ran to catch up to her "savior". She kept telling herself to remember the free room and meal the entire way to town.
Lina woke up with the sun the next day. It was a habit picked up from traveling on the road since traveling during daylight was always best. And as much as she would like to have enjoyed staying in the nice soft bed, she wanted an early start to get away from "Mr. Bodyguard".
Last night during dinner, when he had learned she was traveling alone to Atlas City, he had made up his mind to become her bodyguard. Like she needed one. And he wouldn't stop calling her "little girl" either! No matter how many times she told him her name!! Their dinner ended with his comment about her stomach being bigger than her chest and she had broken her chair over his head and left him to pay.
Anyway, Lina figured she could get the jump on those bandits from last night and collect the reward money all for herself. Didn't matter if they decided not to show up to continue last night's fight. She'd find them. And their treasure.
"And all before breakfast too," Lina grinned. She wasn't usually a morning person but the thought of all that treasure and money before breakfast would put anyone in the right spirits. Passing by the Innkeeper, Lina waved good bye and was out the door as he started to say something. Not that Lina was interested.
"Hey little girl!"
Lina tripped on a nonexistent rock and fell on her face.
"Hey now, are you all right? The pack must be too heavy for you. Let me carry it."
Lina's pack was taken from her shoulder.
"Come on now, it's a good day and we can get in plenty of travel time. I know there is this bakery that serves great pastries and it's on the way out of town so... um, hey are you listening?"
Lina kept her eyes close, trying to deny reality.
"Come on, little girl. The sooner we get to Atlas City the better. Your family must be worried about you," Mr. Bodyguard said.
Lina opened her eyes and glared at him. "I already told you last night. I'm just going to Atlas City for fun. I like traveling alone. And my name is LINA! Not little girl. L-I-N-A! Get it?"
He looked at her and smiled. "And my name is Gourry. Gourry Gabriev. I'm a mercenary. Nice to meet you little girl."
Lina punched the wall next to her.
A little bit later outside of the town, Lina was scarfing down bags upon bags of pastries. Gourry had been right. These were good.
Lina's sixth sense kicked in. "Gou - "
"You can all come out now!" Gourry called putting his hand on his long sword. "We have a long day ahead of us so we might as well finish this now."
All around the bandits from last night appeared. Well, Lina amended, the bandits that were still alive from last night. And from the looks of it, they didn't have much sleep either.
"This time we'll fix you good!" Boss #2 yelled, with a large bandage over his nose. "I don't know who you are but you're going down with that girl!"
Gourry smiled. "Let's see you try. Here, hold this for me little girl." Gourry dumped both packs into Lina's arms.
"Eh?" was all Lina could say around the pastry in her mouth and the two heavy travel packs dumped suddenly in her arms.
An reenactment of last night began. Except this time, Lina couldn't cast Levitation, not with her hands and mouth full. With a gulp, her mouth was free and just in time. One of the bandits had circled around Gourry and was aiming straight for her.
No time for something fancy. Lina grimaced, already chanting a simple spell.
"Look out!"
Lina ducked as Gourry's sword went over her head and into the bandit. And then he went back to the fray.
Another bandit tried his luck. Lina had one hand free this time having shifted her bag back onto her shoulder.
"Be careful!"
And again, Gourry came by with this miraculous save and ran back to the main knot of bandits.
This is pushing the "a rescuer from nowhere" concept a bit too far. Lina thought, and apologized to her heart for all the shocks she was putting it through. And after the third time it happened, Lina just heaved Gourry's pack onto her back, levitated above the fight, and enjoyed the rest of the pastries, including Gourry's share. She finished them before Gourry was done but caught sight of Boss #2 trying to sneak away.
"Gourry!" Lina called as she cast Ray Wing. "I'm going after the Boss #2! I'll leave the rest to you!"
"Huh? Hey! Little girl be careful!" Gourry called out, parrying a front swing from one bandit and then reversing his blade to catch the bandit who had snuck up behind him. "I'm coming as soon as I get by the - huh?"
Actually, Gourry had defeated the second half of the bandit army by now.
"Oh. Well, wait for me!" Gourry shouted running after the shrinking flying figure.
When Gourry finally did catch up, Lina had Boss #2 tied up and gagged.
"Well, then. Time to collect the reward on these guys," Lina grinned, giving her victory sign.
"Thank you very much," Lina smiled with the reward money in her hands. She was doubly happy inside because she had snagged another half of bandit booty before she met up with Gourry again. Lina figured that even as dumb as he was, he'd still want a share and Lina wasn't feeling like giving him one. After all, she hadn't asked for him to make himself her bodyguard.
As she put away the money, she wondered about the little bit of information she had gotten about the bandits she had just caught. Boss #2 wasn't just the Boss's younger brother but it seemed that the Dragon Fang Bandit Brothers group was a family run business. There were in total four brothers, each with their own specialty. The first had been very strong. The second had a huge army. But there wasn't much information on the last two. Oh well, no use worrying about what hasn't happened yet.
Lina decided she had better get started. And of course, while Gourry was busy grabbing more food for breakfast since she had eaten all of his, this was a perfect time for her to sneak off. Like she WANTED to travel with a yogurt-brained guy. She didn't care how handsome or how good with a sword he was.
Lina had just reached the edge of town when the dreaded call came.
"Yo! Little girl!"
Lina turned around slowly, all the while praying that it was just a mistake. It wasn't him. He should have been on the other side of town at the tavern she had told him about.
"I'm glad I found you. When you didn't show up at the tavern I was afraid you had gotten lost," Gourry said amiably, falling into step with Lina.
No, I wasn't lost but I wished you would GET lost. Lina mentally groaned.
"It's a good thing we tried to get an early start. Otherwise those bandits would have attacked some other traveler."
Lina tripped on nothing and fell down. Then she jumped up screaming. "Those bandits were waiting for us!"
"Oh really? How come?" Gourry asked.
Lina just trudged along, will-o-whips and sweatdrops forming around her head. "To continue what started last night."
"What happened last night?"
Lina beaned Gourry with a rock. "You came out of nowhere and attacked an army of bandits that were going to attack me!!"
"Last night...last night... actually, the only thing I remember from yesterday was taking a nap in the open fields near the crossroads on the other side of the town we were in. And then I had this strange dream that I was fighting a bunch of guys like I used to during the wars. So you mean it wasn't a dream then?"
Lina stopped. And then kicked Gourry to the next bend of the road. "Don't tell me you were sleep-walking during that fight last night!"
"So we have an agreement? For your services, we'll give you the item you want."
In some dark place where shady transactions are always undertaken, two men sat across from each other. One bore a striking resemblance to Boss and Boss #2, though second man couldn't know that since he's never met them. The second man was a mage with blue-green hair and a moustache wearing a high collar black cape.
"Of course. Once I deal with this upstart sorceress, you will have nothing to worry about." Boss #3 smiled. "Well good then Zolf. We already have spies keeping track of her location. This time the Dragon Fang Bandit Brothers will be known as the ones who defeated the Enemy of All who Live!"
And he did the evil villain laugh as Zolf quietly sipped his wine glass. Zefilia wine too.
"I'm hungry." Lina said for what could have been the twentieth time that day except that Gourry had never been counting.
"Stop complaining. You need to take it like a man."
"I'm not a man," Lina grumbled.
Gourry didn't have anything to say to that right then and there. It had been two days since they left town and they had spent the last night out of doors in the forest they were passing through. They ate a bear Gourry had killed while he was looking for firewood for dinner and then Lina had caught fish for breakfast. But Gourry brought up the fact that Lina has used worms for bait while she was eating the gut of the fish and that ended Lina's breakfast.
Sometimes when a person is hungry, his sense are dulled. Lina's senses were in perfect order however and her sixth sense picked up a group of people hiding among the trees just ahead. Gourry put his hand to his sword.
"Hold it right there!" called a handsome mage with blue-green hair and moustache leaping down from a tree branch. If he was expecting some sort of reaction, it would have been surprise at his sudden appearance. But Gourry and Lina had already been looking in that direction expecting trouble.
"Wow! What a handsome guy!" Lina exclaimed, which wasn't the kind of reaction that Zolf was expecting. "And in the middle of the forest."
"Little girl..." Gourry started, looking seriously at Lina.
"Hm?"
"Do you have some kind of older men fetish or something?" Gourry asked with a completely straight face.
"Shut up!"
"Hey!" Zolf called again as Lina and Gourry ignored him. "I've come for you!"
Lina and Gourry stopped arguing. Lina looked at Gourry. "You must be popular among the guys."
Zolf grew red. "Not him, I've come to defeat you girl!"
Lina went to cute mode. "Who? Who is that? I'm sorry, you've mistaken me for someone else. My name is Sophia."
"I don't know or care what your name is. I'm just holding up my end of the deal."
Lina sighed. Well, at least it wasn't one of those "I'll defeat you and become the most powerful magic user in the world" sort of things. She continued the cute act just in case. "Someone hired you to kidnap me? Who would do something like that?"
Zolf smiled. So this girl really was just some two-bit spellcaster. "No need to worry about that. It isn't like you'd be able to get back at the Dragon Fang Bandit Brothers once I'm through with you."
Them again. This mage must have been hired by either the third or fourth brother then.
"The Dragon who?" Gourry asked, question marks flying around his head.
Lina fiercely beat down the desire to punt Gourry to the moon. At least this time his denseness could be put to some good use. "He's right. I've never heard of who you're talking about. And since you don't even know the name of this girl you're looking for, how do you even know it's me?"
"Umm..." Zolf fumbled.
"Because we told him."
Lina looked narrowly at the group of bandits coming from behind the trees behind Zolf. The leader, who looked just like his two older brothers, pointed a sword at Lina.
"I'll avenge my brothers and take back the treasures you stole from them."
"Hey, little girl, you stole their treasure?" Gourry asked.
"It's alright if it's from bad guys," Lina defended. "I'll explain it later."
"My brothers gave me a complete description," Boss #3 continued and patted Zolf on the shoulder. "And this guy is going to be the one to take you down Bandit Killer."
"Bandit Killer?" Gourry repeated.
"That's right," Zolf added. "The Bandit Killer is a stick-like, flat-chested wanna-be sorceress with the manners of a troll and voice like a banshee - "
"MEGA BRANDO!!!" Lina yelled, causing the entire ground underneath the band of bandits and Zolf to erupt into the air. It also took a good part of the forest with it. "And for what you said, FLARE ARROW!!" Lina fired a barrage of red fire arrows into Zolf's flying figure.
Gourry just watched blankly as the bandits, Zolf's burnt body, trees, dirt, and rocks came falling back down again. Lina held out her hands and caught several bags on their way down. She weighed them in her hands and grinned.
Yep, there were money, gems, and some other treasure. Must have been the payment for that mage's services. Well, then she'll just keep it.
"Come on Gourry." Lina said running down the forest trail. "If we hurry we can get to a town by nightfall!"
Gourry, being the loyal follower that he is, did as she said.
And Lina was right about there being a town at the end of the forest. That night, the two stuffed themselves bursting and stripped the inn's larder bare.
"Hey, little girl," Gourry asked, taking a breather.
"What?" Lina said around a leg of lamb. She had given up on trying to get him to call her by her name.
"Did you really steal treasure from those bandits?"
"I told you already that it's all right because I took it from bad people."
There was relative silence as the two dug into the fourth round of servings.
"Hey, little girl."
"What?"
"Why did that guy call you Bandit Killer?"
"Because I kill bandits."
"Oh."
Insert various noises made when two people are eating messily and heavily and include the occasional fight for a piece of pie or meat.
"Hey, little girl."
"What?"
"I was thinking. You know that stuff you did in the forest? Are you some kind of mage?" Lina choked on the mouthful of noodles in her mouth as she crashed through the table. Gourry managed to grab several plates of food before they fell. Lina jumped back to her feet, noodles swallowed.
"What do you mean 'Are you some kind of mage'? Why else would I be dressed like this?!?" Lina screamed, gesturing to her clothes, ignoring the fact that there was also some noodles hanging from her shoulder guards from the table crash.
"Well, you shouldn't judge someone only on their appearance," Gourry smiled. Lina couldn't fault that logic though hearing it come from his mouth was enough to give her goosebumps. "So what did you take me for?"
"Hmmm."
"Oh never mind," Lina sighed, feeling another migraine come on. "I'm going to my room." She went upstairs to rest, leaving Gourry with several piles of dishes halfway up to the ceiling and the bill.
"Hey little girl."
Lina hit her head against the wall before turning around to face Gourry. It was the next day and she was still with the dumber than a rock Gourry. "What?"
"If you're a mage then you can cast Fireball right? You look like you're dressed like a black magic user."
"Ahhhh. I'm surprised you actually know that," Lina said tiredly, trudging alongside Gourry as they passed through the town's busy midway.
"Well, there were some mages in the mercenary ranks too. So can you cast a Fireball?"
Well actually, Fireball is a shaman fire spell. Lina was very, very frazzled. Gourry's questions were as mind-numbing as they were dumb. Unfortunately, he was the type to keep to his word which meant she couldn't lose him until they reached Atlas City which was still six days away. Lina wasn't sure she'd be alive by then.
"Hey, looks like more of your friends from the forest," Gourry commented as he came to a halt.
Lina didn't even bother looking up. She already knew what Boss #4 looked like.
"We're here to get revenge.."
"Whatever," Lina grumbled, pulling back an arm to hurl a fireball.
"... is what I should say."
"Eh?" Lina's fireball dissipated.
"I'm not stupid like my older brothers. I know there is no way me or my band can beat you."
"Oh, well that's nice. See you later." Lina turned around to leave.
"So I made sure I had something that you definitely can't beat."
Lina stopped mid-step and cast a bored look over her shoulder. "Really."
"Try this, Bandit Killer," Boss #4 smirked before he blew on a short whistle.
It was answered by a deep rumbling roar. People in the midway screamed and ran as a huge blue dragon reared above the town.
"Wha-what? A blue - " Lina stammered.
"Lizard."
The bandits and Lina facefaulted at Gourry's observation.
"No! That's not it!" Lina cried, jumping up to slap Gourry several times before slamming him to a desk and chair that appeared out of nowhere. She slipped on a pair of glasses, pulled down a screen, and began to teach.
"When people say dragon, they usually mean a very large, scaled and winged creature with a tail and a pair of arms and legs. Some creatures that have a similar description but only a pair of legs and no arms are actually wyverns. Now for the typical concept of dragon, there are two basic kinds. The Ryuzoku and the monster dragons. The monster dragons are the dumb, animal-level intellect ones like the one over there."
Professor Lina pointed at the blue dragon tearing up the other side of town.
"They were created by the Mazoku in an attempt to mimic the effect that Chaos Dragon Gaav had of increasing the power of the Demon King of the North. When the creatures came out too dumb, they threw them into the wild and nature took its course. Now the Ryuzoku are to Ceiphied as the Mazoku are to Ruby Eye. The ryuzoku are all gold dragons and they live in little enclaves devoted to one of the four dragon gods created by Ceiphied. Now then, are there anymore questions?" The bandits and Gourry shook their heads.
"Please, please, are you Lina Inverse?" asked a short elderly man who suddenly appeared at Lina's elbow.
"Raise your hand before speaking!" Professor Lina yelled, whacking the man on the head with her pointer.
The old man raised his hand.
"You may speak."
"Please, are you Lina Inverse?"
"Yes."
"The Bandit Killer?"
"Yes."
"The Dra-mata?"
"Huh?" both Gourry and Lina asked.
"Well, it means someone even a dragon won't cross..."
"WHY YOU LITTLE - "
Lina's tirade was cut short as she leaped out of the way of a stream of fire that burst through the midway. She locked eyes with the blue dragons slitted eyes. They seemed to stare at each other for eternity. And then the dragon turned around and began destroying more of the town.
"Hmmm, the name certainly seems to fit," Gourry said.
"Shut up!" Lina screamed, kicking Gourry into a wall.
"Please, please you have to do something about the dragon," the old man begged.
"It isn't my problem," Lina shrugged. "Go ask the bandits...oh."
The last group of the Dragon Fang Bandit Brothers were now a bunch of well-done prone bodies.
"Oh please, oh please," begged the old man. "I'm the village elder. I'll make it worth your while."
"Really?" Lina asked, a wicked gleam in her eye. "Hmmm, since you really do seem to be in trouble, I guess I'll cut you a break and just charge you 50 gold pieces."
"Fi-fifty?!" sputtered the elder.
"Of course if you're too stingy to pay, well, I don't think there will be much left of the place whenever the dragon decides to leave..." Lina trailed off.
"Tw-twenty."
"Fifty."
"Twenty...five."
"You know, it could just decide to create a lair here."
"Thirty!"
"Come on Gourry. If we hurry we can make it to the next town before nightfall."
"Thirty-five!"
"Sold! Thank you very much! Nice doing business with you," Lina grinned widely, closing the transaction with a solid handshake that nearly took off the elder's arm.
"How can you be mercenary at a time like this?" Gourry bemoaned as Lina grabbed his arm.
"Ray Wing!"
Lina pulled Gourry with her as she flew above the town to get a better look at the dragon. First thing Gourry saw was that the ground was becoming very, very far away.
"Aaah!"
Gourry grabbed on tightly to Lina's arm, nearly upsetting her concentration and ruining the spell she was preparing.
"You idiot! Stay still!"
"The town!" Gourry yelled. "It's half destroyed!"
"Yes, thank you for yet another example of your wonderful grasp of the obvious," Lina replied sarcastically. "Perhaps you noticed the big blue dragon that's also down there."
"Dragon?"
If Lina had been on the ground, she would have facefaulted. Instead she settled for just giving Gourry a solid whack on the head.
"Yes! D-R-A-G-O-N, DRAGON, that is tearing up the town!"
"Well, just leave the dragon to me," Gourry said self-confidently, pulling out his sword and striking a pose. Which would have been fine except that he used both hands for that flashy sequence and was now no longer holding on to Lina's arm. He was halfway down to the ground before he realized that.
"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!"
Lina pressed her temples hard, warding away the headache. "That idiot."
She landed on one of the still standing rooftops. "Alright then dragon. You're going to get me thirty-five gold pieces."
Lina began to chant, gathering the magical energy into her hands.
"Darkness beyond twilight, crimson beyond blood that flows, buried in the flows of time, in thy great name I pledge myself to darkness! Those who oppose us shall be destroyed by the power you and I possess."
Lina smiled.
"DRAGU SLABU!!"
Pulsing red energy that had gathered in Lina's hands burst out in a beam of destruction, enveloping the dragon in its searing energy and exploding. It also took out the surrounding area which pretty much was the rest of the town that hadn't been destroyed yet.
"Victory!" Lina grinned doing her V-for-victory sign as she landed on the rubble of the town. "And once again the great beautiful genius sorceress Lina Inverse triumphs over evil. The villagers are only too grateful to give her gold as a sign of their gratitude."
"What do you mean gratitude?" yelled the blackened Elder.
The rubble next to Lina shifted and revealed Gourry's boot. It was shaking like no tomorrow and Lina could make out some muffled curses. After a few contortions and more swearing, Gourry pulled himself out.
"What the hell do you think you were doing?" he yelled.
Lina shrugged. "You're the one who let go of me."
"Listen when I'm talking to you!!" screamed the Elder pulling out his hair.
"Oh hey, there you are. Where's my gold old man?"
"Where's our TOWN?!?"
Lina looked around. They were standing on the edge of a large and deep crater. The rim of the crater was littered with rubble from the broken buildings.
"Well, you have to expect this sort of thing when dealing with dragons. You just can't throw a fireball at them and expect them to roll over and die." Lina lectured. "A deal is a deal. I carried out my part - "
"You destroyed the town!"
"As I recall, there was nothing in our deal about the town."
"Wha-what?!" the Elder stammered.
"You just wanted to me, in your own words, to 'do something about the dragon'. And I did do something. The dragon is now gone due to the most powerful black magic in the world, Dragu Slabu."
"That was the Dragu Slabu?!?" gasped both Gourry and the Elder. They huddled.
"How can that little girl cast a spell that powerful?" Gourry whispered.
"Well, maybe she isn't so little. I've heard that really powerful magic users can slow down their aging. She could be 300 years old," whispered back the Elder.
"EH!! Really? 300 years old??" Gourry, in his surprise, cried aloud.
"Don't you know it's rude to talk about a girl's age!!" Lina screamed, whacking Gourry in the back of the head.
"I don't care if you're 13, 30, or 300, you destroyed our town!" cried the Elder. Blackened and angry town people rose up behind him like daisies on a warm spring day. Except these daisies had thorns.
"Hey, well then, Gourry," Lina laughed nervously. "Since you didn't get a chance to take care of the dragon..."
She slapped Gourry HARD on the back and into the villagers.
"I have heard that another town is beleaguered by evil bandits and it is my duty to punish these villains. I therefore charge you Gourry Gabriev to aid these villagers rebuild their town and help them in any way because I am on a selfless quest, I must sadly take my leave. Good luck to you all."
Lina gave this speech as she was flying away, leaving Gourry to deal with the angry villagers.