The male cast members of the hit TV show Slayers were all stuffed inside the Green Room of the recording studio. Auditions were wrapping up in the room adjoined to this one, but none of the men were able to tell quite what was going on. As far as they knew, they would be assigned parts in the new crossover Slayers/Fushigi Yuugi fan-fic.
Gourry Gabriev languished on a couch that seated several of his costars. He was tired, being among the ones who'd arrived earliest.
"Gourry, do you mind not stretching out so much?" Zelgadis asked him politely.
"Oh? Sorry Zel!" he apologized. He looked around the room. There were various knots of conversations going on. Gathered around the water cooler were Maryuu-oh Gaav, Valgarv, and Rezo. Sitting on top of the water cooler was Hellmaster Fibrizo. Attention seemed to be centered on Valgarv, who now put his hand to the back of his head, chatting amiably, with the slightly embarrassed look of one who is praised. Gourry looked at the assembled four, curious. Hmmm, what was it about them..?
"Oh yeah! They all played bad guys!" Gourry pounded a triumphant fist into his palm.
This remark cut into their conversation and the four fell silent. They turned to look at the swordsman.
"What was that, Gourry-san?" Rezo asked, his eyes eternally blinded.
Zelgadis jumped in to demur for him, "It was nothing."
With annoyed looks, they returned to their discussion. "What was that all about?" ; "He's always been like that. The viewers seem to like it."
Zelgadis could feel his face burning as he dropped a tight grip on Gourry's shoulder. "What the hell were you thinking? Saying such an obvious thing."
"Well, it's true, isn't it?" Gourry was puzzled. What's wrong with saying something like that?
From across the room, Zangulus started to move, careful to step past Dilgear and Rodimus, who were locked in an arm-wrestling match on the coffee table.
"Really, Gourry," he chided. "You're forgetting that we've all been evil at one time or another."
"Huh?" Gourry scratched his head. "Even me?"
"Well, I guess we can't blame you for forgetting."
Zelgadis chimed in, "Yes, it was Fibrizo's fault."
For a while, there seemed little to say. Then Gourry volunteered with, "Hey, what are we here for again?"
Those who heard him facefaulted. Mainly, Zelgadis, Zangulus, and Dilgear. This led to Rodimus' victory, as he was apparently more focussed. ("Yossha!")
"DAMN!" exploded Dilgear. He picked himself up and pulled up a seat near the couch. "Heh, sorry 'bout that. But I couldn't help but overhear that this guy (pointing to Gourry) doesn't remember why we're here?"
Zelgadis regarded him a bit haughtily, "I suppose you're ready to make a comeback, Dilgear?"
"You bet! I am so ready to play Ashitare! He's so cool!" Dilgear's eyes began to sparkle eagerly.
The stage door opened, and glances were directed toward Vrumugun and Zolf, who passed through. Vrumugun walked/floated(?) toward the water cooler, while Zolf, upon spotting Zelgadis, meandered to sit next to him.
"What a rigorous reading!" he sighed. "I can't wait til they dismiss me."
Zelgadis smiled a little. "Not much confidence in yourself, Zolf."
"Well, it's not as if they need all of us, anyway." Zolf rolled his head to work the kinks out of his neck. "In fact, I hear Ms. Producer discussing a few little things..."
At this, all ears were pricked. The couch group and the water cooler group both leaned in to listen. Finally some news on the production status! Perhaps some roles were already announced?
Zolf continued nervously. "Well, it's not a fusion-fic. You know the type where casts are tranplanted? It's a genuine crossing-over. Now, you might do well not to rely on my word, but there's only one reader left... I'm guessing Ms. Producer's plans are definite now that she's listened to almost all of us."
"Wait a minute," Zelgadis said. "Who's left?"
Everyone's heads swiveled, checking to see who the missing one was.
"Was it by alphabetical order?"
"It should've finished with Zolf."
"How'd Vrumugun get behind Zelgadis, then?"
This time Rezo lent his voice. (Is there something extraordinary about the voices of those who can't see?) What he said carried over the cacophony. "I believe that Xelloss is the only one left."
For a second, the realization sunk in like jade-colored bricks in slimy water. And then came the interruption that rippled throughout the assembly. The stage room door burst open, and out stumbled Xelloss as if he came beckoned. He turned and slammed the door shut.
Well, it seemed to be the trickster priest, anyway. Same shoulder-length purple hair, same build. But why was his clothing different? The staff he carried had chimes instead of an inset jewel. And he wore plain country garb with a black patterned blanket slung around his chest...
"Xelloss?" someone asked softly.
He turned around with a very distressed look on his face, however much that was possible with a face like ^_^
"Eh!! That's Chichiri's costume!" everyone exclaimed.
"That's not it no da," he replied.
"Da?" Gourry asked.
Xelloss pointed at the door. "That producer is one weird chick no da. She's the one who forced this outfit on me no da. I can't get it off no da... And I can't stop saying 'no da' after everything I say no da!!"
Valgarv hissed under his breath. Fear seemed to strike him, too, seeing Xelloss like this. "I believe... that this place is NOT safe at all..."
"Why's that?" Gourry asked.
At that moment, the stage door began to pound, as if assaulted by a a battering ram.
"That's her no da!" Xelloss cried. He began to push through the crowd of his fellow cast members, heading for the exit. No one made any other move, except to let him pass. Zelgadis finally made the connection - why Xelloss feared for his life, and why Valgarv seemed a bit scared himself.
Suddenly, with a final assault, the stage door was blown away, erupting in dust and rubble. Just beyond, however, there was a visible glowing barrier. Something else was behind that barrier. Someone, rather.
A female voice called over, "Xelloss-sama? How mean of you! Putting up a barrier like that."
Another voice spoke, "Remember, Nangke, don't hurt Valgarv either, okay?"
"Gotcha."