Slayers CLICHE

The worst Slayers fanfic ever written


"Hey!" Lina said. "I'm hungry! Let's go to the restaurant over there."

"Okay," Gourry agreed.

"I don't wanna eat!" Amelia complained.

"We're REALLY HUNGRY!" Zel said, out of character.

As soon as they walked in, a young man with glasses walked up. "Are you a sorceress?!" he asked.

"Yeah," Lina said. "Now I want my food!"

"But I need your help! My name is Chaz Griftan, and my village was taken over by someone!"

"Who?" Lina asked curiously.

"A priest! He says he's Rezo the wise man."

"We have to go stop him!" Lina said, running out the door, so out of character its not even funny.

"Isn't Rezo dead?" Amelia cried.

"It could be another copy!" Zel said.

"Ha-ha-ha! You're all right!" A man stepped up to them, dressed like a warrior.

"Who are you?"

"Bill. And these are my fellow warriors, Ralph, Dave, Harold, and Lester."

"I'll kill them myself." Lina chanted a spell and they all died, really violently.

"That was cool!" Zach, I mean Chaz, said.

"Thanks Chaz." Lina smiled.

"AHAHAHA!" Naga cried, running up. "So we've finally found each other again, Lina!"

"Who are you?" everyone but Lina asked.

"I am Naga the Serpent! And I have come to help you defeat Rezo!"

"You're too stupid to help anyone," Lina said.

"That's why I brought back up! Allow me to introduce, Captain Tylor, Ryoga Hibiki, Ryoko, Tifa, Aerith, Captain Janeway, Fox Mulder, and Curious George!"

"Wow, we won't have any trouble killing Rezo now!" Zel said happily.

"Let's stay here for the night," Chaz suggested.

"Okay!" Lina said, and they went up to their rooms and had really graphic sexual intercourse.

"Gourry, you know I've always loved you," Zel said, suddenly gay.

"I love you too!" Gourry said, and they made plans to get married.

The next day, Chaz said, "Let's go get Rezo!"

"Okay!" the rest of them said, and they went to Chaz's village.

"Ha-ha!" Rezo said from above. "You won't beat me! Look, I have my old allies Eris, Zangulus, and Vrumugun with me!"

"Oh no!" said Amelia.

"We've lost!" Zel said.

"No! We can do it if we stick together!" Lina said, and they began to fight.

Amelia killed Eris by stabbing her with a sword. Naga hacked Zangulus into tiny pieces and licked up the blood. Gourry killed Vrumugun with his Sword of Light. Everyone else fought against Rezo, all at the same time.

"You may have beaten my other men, but you won't beat me! I call on the power of Shabrigando."

"OH NO!" everyone shouted.

Shabranigdo was reborn, and he sent a ray of energy at Naga. It pierced her body, and she was dying, but then Chaz took her and gave him all his energy.

"I didn't know you were that powerful!" Lina said.

"I am!" Chaz shouted, and destroyed Shabrigando with his own hands.

"Nooooo!" Rezo cried.

"Now it ends," Chaz said.

"No! For now I call on all my comrades! Come forth!"

And Rezo was joined with the bodies of Eris, Zangulus, Vrumugun, Dilgear, Zolf, and Rodimus. "Hahaha, now I'm too powerful for even you, Chaz."

"No!" Chaz shouted.

"Whahahah!" laughed Rezo-Eris-Zangulus-Vrumugun-Dilgear-Zolf-Rodimus.

"We need more help!" Chaz said.

"We'll help you!" Said the Sailor Scouts, appearing.

All of them joined together and destroyed Rezo-Eris-Zangulus-Vrumugun-Dilgear-Zold-Rodimus.

"That was close!" Naga said. "Oh, and Chaz, I love you! Let's go have more really graphic sex."

"Okay!" Chaz said, and they left.

"And now is time for our wedding!" Zel and Gourry said, happily.

"We want to get married too!" said Lina and Captain Tylor, and Amelia and Tifa.

They all got married the next day.


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