(Fade in on Dynast in a Santa outfit, standing in the midst of a flurry of snow, and Mellyroon and Raudy in little Santa's Elf suits)
Dynast: Ho ho ho! Welcome to a very special Slayers Christmas, for 1998.
Mellyroon: Why are you Santa?
Dynast: Because I live at the North Pole.
Raudy: But no one even knows what you look like!
Dynast: ...shut up.
Mellyroon: And why do I have to be dressed like this?! (irritably bats at the bell on the tip of her hat that's hanging in her face)
Dynast: Because you're an elf! Santa has elves!
Raudy: I'm not an elf!!!
Dynast: Deal with it.
Raudy: And what the hell's that thing in the corner?
Mellyroon: That's it! L-sama!
Lord of Nightmares: (appearing, in a low-cut Santa-type blouse and a short Santa skirt) ...What is it now?
Dynast: Whoah.
Raudy: (gets a bloody nose, and is promptly whacked over the head)
Mellyroon: ...hentai.
Lord of Nightmares: (blinks and looks down) ...nani?! What the hell is this?! I'm getting the author in here! (stalks off)
Raudy: (rubbing head) Itaii... Mellyroon...
Mellyroon: ...echii.
(Lord of Nightmares stalks back on stage, dragging a put-out Zach, still clutching hold of a Tech Romancer arcade console)
Zach: Don'thurtdon'thurtdon'thurt....
Lord of Nightmares: What the hell is this?! (gestures to her outfit)
Zach: Be kind! I'm but an adolescent male!
Mellyroon: And what is that thing in the corner?
Zach: ...huh? Oh, that's a GeoCities logo.
Raudy: ...koraiii...
Mellyroon: It's irritating!
Dynast: It won't go away!
Lord of Nightmares: BUKA!!!!
(Lei Magnus enters, stage left)
Lei: Hai, L-sama? (fighting with anime-esque force of will not to get a bloody nose)
Lord of Nightmares: We're gonna kill this guy.
Zach: ...ack! No, hey, this's a Christmas special!
Lord of Nightmares: ..ah, fine. Just make the logo go away.
Zach: I can't! It's the evil power of GeoCities... Along with those pop-up ads.
Raudy: Whatever, can't we just sing Christmas carols or something?
Lei: ....I think I should go.
Lord of Nightmares: Nani? Why?
Lei: ...I just do think I fit in.
Zach: Why? Hey, are you Jewish or something?
Lei: Oy vey!!! How did ya know?
Zach: (facefaults) Nani?!
Raudy: Okay, that's it. This is a little too messed up for me.
Mellyroon: Yeah. Let's get outta these damn outifts.
Raudy: (bloody nose, another whack) ITAI! (collapses)
Mellyroon: (dragging Raudy's comatose body off) Raudy no baka!
(Exit Mellyroon and Raudy, stage right)
Lei: No, I'm not Jewish. Was just joke.
Lord of Nightmares: .......Buka, seriously...
Lei: I know...
Dynast: Anyway, my fellow Mazoku Lords should be around any time now.
Zach: Ooh, what do you have planned for dinner?
Dynast: You don't wanna know.
Zach: ......Can I go now?
Lord of Nightmares: No. Listen to music or something.
(Zach grumbles and snaps on some headphones. Zellas-Metallium, Deep Sea Dolphin, Phibrizo, and Garv appear, followed, naturally, by Xelloss)
Xelloss: And lo, who should appear, but a jolly young priest with... hair like... ano...
Zellas-Metallium: Don't try so hard, dear.
Xelloss: Gomen.
Dynast: Welcome, guys.
Deep Sea Dolphin: I hate you all.
Phibrizo: Mmn. Why does Xelloss get to attend, and not our guys?
Garv: Yeah!
Zellas-Metallium: Your guys are dead.
Phibrizo and Garv: ...oh yeah.
Dynast: Mine aren't.
Zellas-Metallium: Yes, but Xelloss is cuter than they are.
(Enter Sherra, stage left)
Sherra: I'd take that back if I were you!
Xelloss: Oya oya. Down, girl.
Dynast: (satisfied, as Xelloss and Sherra dissipate into a fast-paced Mazoku battle) Ahhh, now this is a true Mazoku Christmas.
Zach: (singing) One song... before the sun sets...
(Enter Lina, Gourry, Zelgadiss, Amelia, Shilfiel, Naga, and Phil, stage... ah, we'll say, right)
Lina: DAMNIT. Why wasn't I written into this thing?!
Gourry: ...ano, what's that thing in the corner?
Zelgadiss: Che. Idiotic.
Amelia: Ooh, I love Christmas! Happy holidays, everyone!
Naga: Ohhh-ho-ho-ho!
Shilfiel: H..hai! I, I brought some fruitcakes...
Phil: BWAHAHAHA! THIS IS THE TIME OF YEAR REAL MEN LOVE!
Zel: (sweatdrops) Down, Phil-san, down.
Lei: Oy vey, what's all this schlamuckin' hechanisty?
Lord of Nightmares: (slow blink, peers at Lei)
Lei: Eto.. I mean, what the hell is with these people?
Amelia: Come on, time to exchange gifts!!!
Lina: Yeah! Gifts! And I better not get any more of those gag bras. (glowers at her sidekick)
Gourry: What... what is that thing! (cowering from the logo)
Amelia: (sweatdrops) ...Anyway, who was my secret Santa?
Dynast: This is a Mazoku Christmas party. We don't do gifts.
Zelgadiss: This is moronic.
Deep Sea Dolphin: I hate you all.
Phil: Oh, come now! Let's get the spirit, ne?
Phibrizo: Yum, spirit...
Zellas-Metallium: (pounds Phil) Never mention spirits in front of the little bastard!
Phibrizo: Hey!
Garv: (peering at Shilfiel's fruitcakes) Ano, mind if I...?
Shilfiel: (wide-eyed) Ah... ah... n-no... go ahead.
Garv: Much obliged. (morphs into a dragon and downs the whole lot of 'em)
Naga: (blinking) ...Impressive! But see if you can stand up to MY dragons!
Lina: FIREBALL!!!!
Crispy Naga: ...itaii...
(Nevertheless, a number of golems and dragons slip in, all with reindeer antlers or Santa hats)
Filia: (from atop the Elder Dragon) Halloooo!
Valgarv: (next to her) Did we miss anything?
Lina: Oh, what the hell?! Where did they come from?!
Xelloss: I invited them.
Zellas-Metallium: You what?
Xelloss: ...well... I figured we should put old grudges aside... ne?
Jirasu and Grabos: (lying prone atop one of the dragons, both rather green) ..boosss... urgh... (simultaneous blink) ...what's that in the corner?
Zach: (singing, oblivious) Do - you - know - the - way - to - San-ta - Fei?
Zelgadiss: Moronic.
Arumeis: (appearing out of nowhere, with a jaunty Keroppi style Santa cap on his head) Ho-ho-ho!
Zach: (blinking out of his RENT-induced reverie) ...nani?
Lina: Arumeis?!
Arumeis: That's right! And I brought some friends to help us ring in the holidays!
(Enter Shaburigando, Dark Star, Deep Fog, Chaotic Blue, Ceiphied, Volfied, Milgasia, and Aqua)
Lina: ...that's it, I'm leavin'.
Luna: (popping up, in her path) I think not.
Lina: WHAAAAAAA!!!!!!!
Shaburigando: Come now, let's sing some carols!
Dark Star: Errrauuuuuuuughrrrrrrgh!!!!
Amelia: Haiii! Come on, Lina-san, what do you want for Christmas?
Lina: (blinks twice and flops to the side, unconcious)
(Pause, as Luna drags Lina's comatose body off-stage)
Gourry: ...Well, I want to leave.
Zelgadiss: I second the motion.
Zach: I want a menage a trois with Tira Masu and Chocolate!
(Another pause)
Zelgadiss: Yep, time to leave. (does so)
Gourry: ...Matte! (flees, making sure to keep far away from the freaky logo)
Shilfiel: Ah, ah... Gourry-sa-mmaaaaa! (gives chase)
Naga: (wincing) Does she know how annoying all that "Gourry-sama"-ing is?
Xelloss: As annoying as your laugh?
Naga: Nani?!
Amelia: Ah, ah, hold on, you two...
Dynast: No, no... they're finally getting into the spirit.
Deep Sea Dolphin: I hate you all.
Dynast: Yeah, like that!
Arumeis: Come, let's sing some carols.
Zach: Hey, yeah, I'm for that!
Xelloss: (sighing) Well, why not?
Jirasu and Grabos: We can take the Fa-la-la's!
Zach: O-kay then, hit it!
Dark Star: Reeeaaaaarrrrgh! (pulls out a guitar and starts jamming)
(Reenter all the characters who've left already, as well as every bit character to ever appear in the damn anime, and all those who haven't... and the scenes fades out, to the sound of their surprisingly harmonious voices)
The End... thank God...