Lina leaned back against her chair, patting her full belly contentedly. "Oh yeah, that was great." She looked down on Naga, who was passed out on the floor in a tangle of chairs. At the moment they were the only ones left in the food lounge. "See? I was right. A kitchen full of never ending piles of food... And alcohol. I am ALWAYS right! Ha ha ha ha!"
"Do you think Zel would have woken up yet?" Gourry asked. "It would probably be a good idea if we went to visit him."
"LINA!" Came a cry of the fore mentioned friend from the hall way, followed by a crash. Lina turned in her seat to look. "Damn it you twisted freak! Leave me alone!"
"But Zeeeeel...."
Lina's ears pricked at that voice. "Xellos?" They both looked expectantly at the door.
"Let go of my arm!"
"I just want to show you some thing that I found." There was a pause
"What is THAT!?" Zel's voice.
"I think it's used for...." Sounds of whispering.
"Yoooou... FRUITCAKE!!!!" Zel yelled. "FLARE ARROW!!!!!" There was an explosion in the hall way, then the sound of stone hitting floor. "Owwww!" Lights flickered, and water sprayed. Alarms began to go off, and there was the sound of running feet.
Xellos' laughter. "I told you not to cast this soon. Mmmm.... Tasty..." Lina and Gourry ran to the door and found Zel kneeling clutching at his head, while Xellos floated amongst a smouldering sphere that was cut from the ship. The spraying water avoided him, but decided that Lina, Gourry and Zel were great targets. Xellos peered strangely down at Zel, a hint of confusion in his eyes. But it was gone as soon as he noticed Lina.
"What are YOU doing here?" Lina demanded of Xellos while Gourry knelt beside Zel.
"Oh, I don't know - "
"Amelia." Zel ground out. "He has her... Somewhere." He then promptly passed out.
Lina and Gourry gave Xellos death stares, ignoring the arriving repair crew who were shouting things back and forth. "What. Have. You. Done. With. Her?!"
Xellos shrugged. "I have not done anything with her. Or TO her either. If stone boy here is too hot tempered to sit and listen for a few seconds, then it's no fault of mine! I'm not the one who left her behind on that planet." He opened his purple, slit eyes at Lina, giving her a meaningful look. "Am I?"
Lina cringed. "You mean she's still down there?! On her OWN?! WITH NO FOOD?!?!"
Xellos gave her a smug look. "She was last time I checked."
Suddenly a wicked glint shone in her eye. A smile appeared on Lina's lips. "You know, this could really work to my advantage. No more annoyingly long justice speeches! No more klutzy mess ups!" She looked at Gourry. "Well, sort of." She brightened. "No more super-bubbly-hypo-happy-freak-on-an-'I-love-Zel'-rant! Ha ha ha ha! This is GREAT news! Thank's Xellos! You're amazing!"
Xellos flinched away from her. "What?" His voice wavered.
Gourry gave her a dirty look. "Lina! What a thing to say."
"What? That Xellos is AMAZING! That he is so brilliant and handsome too!"
Xellos flinched away from her some more, taking a floating step back. "Lina... don't..."
Her eyes were big and sparkely as she moved closer to the floating man. "But Xellos, I must tell you how I feel about you. I know I had not realised it previously, but you actually have some qualities that a girl could like. Maybe even like a lot..."
Before It could get much more mushy, Xellos phased out with an audible "Gak!"
Lina looked down at her two male companions. Zel was struggling to regain consciousness. Gourry frowned at her. "Was all that really necessary?" He asked. "I mean, I know Amelia can be really... um... annoying sometimes, but is that any reason to leave her behind on a planet?"
"Hang on! I'm not the ONLY one who didn't notice she wasn't eating with us! Why do I have to be the one who get's the blame?!"
"Riiight. And another thing. Why'd you have to be so gushy over Xellos?"
Her face brightened into a smile. "Eh," She shrugged, and winked. "He's gone, isn't he?"
Zel moaned loudly, and struggled to sit upright. Blurring images of Gourry and Lina smiling down at him greeted his eyes. He only then seemed to notice that he was getting soaked. "Great." He murmured. "Now I'm all wet."
"Come on," Gourry started to heft him up. "Let's get out of this shower and see if they have a place that we can stay and get warm."
Lina grinned at him. "That's a great idea Gourry! WOW!" They supported Zel as he staggered down the corridor. Slowly he lifted his head. "Who are all those people?" He asked slowly, seeing the repair crew. "Are they shouting at us?"
Lina only just noticed that they were in fact being shouted at. "Well, exuuuuse me! " She shouted back. "But if you had to put up with Xellos' crap for half as long as we have, you would want to kill him too!"
A ship zoomed through space, closely followed by another, much larger and nasty looking ship. The first ship flew around madly trying to evade the lazer fire, but that did not work very well, as it soon fell into a tractor beam and ended up locked to the bigger one. Unbeknownst to the bigger ship's enhabitants, the smaller ship was sending off a faint distress signal that was picked up by two ships. One closer than the other.
Within the larger ship there was a scream followed by amused laughter, as the generic evil space pirates set about beating up some generic neutral people just for fun, and generally terrorise the weak and helpless. So much were the pirates enjoying the interrogations that they did not notice that a large cube shaped object had just entered the same space they were in, and was rapidly gaining ground. Only when the proximity alert and hailing systems went off did they break their revelry.
"Evil pirates of space!" An emotionally charged individual cried from the cube. "Too long have you cowered in your pursuits of darkness instead of walking tall in the light of purity. Just as a beautiful flower can not bloom without the sun, so has your hearts become cold and barren with evil. Stop your persecution of those innocent travellers now, of face the wrath of justice!"
One of the pirates (who foolishly did not recognise the shape of the ship, thus not cowering in fear) snorted, and responded with a mocking: "And who's going to stop us?"
Suddenly several figures materialised on the pirates bridge, all with wires and computer-type-bits sticking out of them all over. A tall male one stepped forward. "We are the Borg of justice. You are to be warned one mare time: Halt your evil deeds or face our wrath!!!"
Why am I here again? Why are we here again? Zel tried to remember, rubbing his temples gently, and looking up at the large table he, Lina, Gourry, the away team and the Captain who they had not yet met were seated at. Dianna sat opposite him, watching him with curiosity. Naga was not there. She had woken from her stupor some time previously and disappeared. No one really wondered about her safety. This was the star ship Enterprise after all, and there are never any bad people on board. A few possessed by strange beings composed only of energy with intentions that could cause a fair bit of damage to the world as we know it (or will know it) but no evil PEOPLE. Where ever Naga was she would be safe. WHO she was with may not be in quite the same shape again, however. But that's another story. (MWAaaa ha ha ha haaaaa....) Back to the story:
"It is unfortunate that your companion was left behind on that planet, but I'm afraid we currently can't go back and pick her up." Piccard was saying in his really cool accent.
"WHAAAAT??? WHY THE HELL NOT?! THIS IS A SPACE SHIP ISN'T IT?! " Zel grimaced at the level of Lina's voice. Oh yeah, we have to go back for... that girl... um...?
"Well, you see..." Captain Piccard tried to explain about the Borg and how dangerous they were. Lina just snorted.
"That's really pathetic. I'd just Dragu slave their butts and send them running."
"Um, Lina, maybe they don't know how to Dragu Slave like you do and that's the reason they are so afraid of those booger people." Gourry suggested.
"Of course not! Only powerful sorcerers know how to do that!" Coffee. NEEEEED COFFEE! COFFEEEEEEE! Can not think with out COFFEE!!!!!
"The Borg truly are dangerous beings." Data told her. "It would be safer for all involved if we waited until the Borg left that space before we went back to look for your companion."
Coffee. Not that nutty one I can get, or that Kenyan kind. Just good old caffeine-filled pure coffee with a tiny drop of water.
The Captain's com link beeped.
"Yes?" He said.
"Captain, we are receiving a distress signal. It sounds as though a small ship of generic good guys are being attacked by some generic evil space pirates. What do you advise?"
Lovely, thick coffee. Thick like honey or treacle, only coffee flavoured. MMmmm... Zel had to wipe the saliva from his mouth.
"Save them, of course!" Piccard was glad to get out of there
"NO!" Lina yelled back. "You are going to turn this ship around and save Amelia!"
"Lina, aren't pirates bandits? As in have treasure too?" Gourry asked scratching his head.
Little cash signs shone briefly in her eyes. "... Yes they are." She adjusted her vest, then smiled brightly. "I am sorry captain, go ahead and save the generic good guys from those generic evil space pirates."
Piccard narrowed his eyes.
The come link beeped again.
"Piccard here."
"Captain, if we turn back 360 degrees, then we will reach the distressed ship in under an hour."
Lina did her patented victory sign, and giggled cutely. Dianna leaned forward to get a better look at their stony friend. "Excuse me Lina, but is your friend feeling allright?"
LIna looked at Zel, and shrugged. "He's fine. Nothing a few cups of coffee wouldn't fix."
His head shot up at the mention of coffee. Eyes shining.
"No, I don't have any." She told him. Zel's forehead hit the table, his shoulders shaking as her tried to hold back either sobs or laughter.
"There there." Lina patted his shoulder.
"Coffeeeeeee...."