More Than a Pawn


"New assignment, Lina." Fate Vortex handed the tall, buxom red-head a file folder.

"Thanks, Alex." Lina took the folder and proceeded to her office down the long corridor. Along the hallway, open doors to other offices revealed other Fates at work. Many of them either reading similar file folders, checking records on their computers, or on the phone to verify orders from the High Council.

"No. I need that hailstorm at noon today, and not a moment later."

"Yes, I need to ask the High Council if it's absolutely important that that girl trip and skin her knee today. I mean, she's so little, and it's her first bike ride."

"I understand traumatizing people is part of the job sometimes, but - "

Lina unlocked the door to her office and sat down among the mess of ancient books, scattered computer disks, and crystalline information receptacles (CIRs, as they were called in a possible future). For a sorceress who grew up in the times of the Druids, she sure had many advanced resources. But one could suppose that was no less strange than how incredibly powerful she had become in her mortal lifetime.

It wasn't supposed to be possible. But it happened. She was rivaling the gods of her time, at the age of 13. Then, the Fate had approached her.

"What I'm offering you is the chance to decide people's destinies, gain unlimited power, and near-omniscience. You're so close to those things already, which is why I've been ordered to make you this offer." Fate Vortex had said all those centuries ago. "You can transcend the timestream."

"But what's the catch?" little Lina crossed her arms.

The Fate looked far off.

"You need to give up your life now. And any life you have in the future will be restricted. Once you are a Fate, you can't go back to being a Pawn. And you must never become more than remotely involved with Pawns, normal people."

Lina came back to reality and sat down in her office. Opening the folder, it read:

"Watch him. Await further orders."

Lina picked up the photo that accompanied the folder. The boy had to be 13, like she was once. He had concealing purple hair and ice blue eyes. In the photo, he practiced furiously with his sword.


The same young man continued slicing away at imaginary opponents in the shady woods.

"Zelgadis!" A woman called from a cabin near the woods. "Come inside for breakfast!"

"Just a little longer, Mother!" Zelgadis continued hacking away.

His mother turned back inside the house, shaking her head.


Finally, an hour later, Zel sat down to breakfast, trying not to look tired.

"It's cold, Zelgadis." His mother sat by a washbucket, finishing drying her dishes, before folding Zel's cleaned laundry.

"I'm sorry."

"sigh Zelgadis, this happens every morning. It's very important for you to eat breakfast. Maybe you should eat before you get up to practice."

"But I start practice long before breakfast is ever ready."

"Maybe you should make your own breakfast."

Zel shut up and ate. He would have to watch that. His mother did everything for him. He needed to be more selfless for her. He should have thought of the solution beforehand so she wouldn't have had to point it out.

"When is Father coming home?"

"I'm not sure." His mother paused in folding his clothes. "But the way the prince is keeping him on this last job, I think he may want to keep your father as an official at court."

Zel's father was a mercenary. Just a few jobs here and there. Then he would come back home after each job. But he came back less and less often lately, Lina noted, as she watched from the window, cloaked by an invisibility spell. She had been watching Zelgadis Greywiers for a year now, and still no orders from the High Council. She figured that the High Council wanted her to have a personal, first-hand grasp of Zel's life first, before they would have her take action.

"Just leave your dishes on the table for me." Zel's mom said as he finished breakfast.

Zel reluctantly did as she said, and tried his hardest to smile his appreciation. "Thanks."

"Oh, it's no problem." His mother smiled at him, before continuing to fold his clothing.

Zel pushed in his chair, took his sword, and headed for the door.

"Mother? Is it alright if I go to town?"

"Why?" Worry was instantly stricken in her eyes.

"I heard there was a new shipment of books coming into town today."

His mother smiled. "You're just like your father... Alright. Just buy the book and be back quickly."

"Actually, I was planning to be out a while."

"Zelgadis." His mother took in a deep breath. "What were you planning to do that would take so long?"

"Nothing. I just wanted to look around town, then practice before I got back."

His mother stared at him for a while, her face straining. "Make sure you be back before it gets dark. And here." She took a clean handkerchief from her apron and folded it around some cheese and bread from the cubbard.

"Mother, you don't have to do that."

"Yes I do." Her eyes glittered as she handed him the package.

"Thanks. I'll see you later."

"I love you. Be careful." His mother called after him.

Lina followed after Zel. She decided she had mixed feelings about Zel's mom. She was so nice and always dependable - but jeeze! The guilt trip she could lay on! Lina peeked into Zel's stray thoughts as she walked down the road to town.

She mended my sheath... He eyed the leather covering over his sword, hanging form his belt. That must have been what she stayed up last night for. ,

It was just that kind of thing. Lina recalled yesterday when Zel had mentioned to his mother in passing that he had accidentally torn his sheath. His mother meticulously fixed it even after a long day of chores that went into the night.


Zel gave the bookkeeper several coins for his purchase.

"Philosophy and alchemy?" The bookkeeper eyed Zel curiously. "Y'know. You're just like you dad. Look like him too. Yup. He used to come to my store, buy a stack of books that went up to you chin, and have them all read by the next day."

Zel looked at the man strangely. He can't be serious!... But then again, it is my father. I wouldn't be surprised if it was true...

"Yessir, read all those books and still have time to go to the tavern and break up any fight his friends got into. Why I remember when this big fella came into town one day. We all thought he was some kind of bandit or murderer, but turned out he was just a professional swordfighter. And you're dad, well, he beat him quick. I saw it with my own eyes. You're pretty good with the sword too, aren't you?"

Zel blushed.

"Ohhh! Yes!" the bookkeeper's wife squealed, coming from the back room. "Don't be modest! We've all seen you win against most of the boys in town! And to defend the little ones from bullies, no less! Why I remember when you were 5 and your mother would take you with her to the market. You were such a curious little thing! Always wanted to know everything and learn everything! And you always did! We could all tell from the start that you had natural talent! 'Just like your father', we would all say!"

"Uhhh, yeah. Thanks. Well, I better get started on these books." Zel backed out the door.

"Thanks! Come again!"


Zel continued to the fountain in the middle of town, as Lina followed invisibly beside him.

I shouldn't have just run out like that on them... But I guess it was better than staying to listen to more. I'm just so tired of pleasing them all! - I have to watch that.

He had a seat on the side of the fountain and began to read. Lina read over his shoulder.

"Hey!" Lina yelped. He was turning the pages too fast. She took a seat beside him and concentrated on reading faster than his speed.

When Zel finished, he put down the book and started on the next one. Lina eyed him with a smile.

"The boy is pretty good. I bet he could handle even the Fate's library." Lina peered into his thoughts again.

Why do I even study this stuff? It was interesting at first, but now I'm even studying - what is this again? Zel turned over the book. "Theories of Destiny"? He sighed, realizing what he just thought. Great. Now I'm getting lazy. Zel opened the book again.

Lina stared at him. She could sense depression seeping from his aura. Disappointment. What was he so disappointed in? Himself? Of course. She had watched him for the past year. She knew. Everyone expected so much from him and all of them, especially his mother, were so kind to him. Every mistake in action, character, or thought that he made sent him a tsunami of guilt. Like any fault of his was equal to letting them down. But it was more like the guilt came first, then he would make up a reason to feel it. He was hating himself when there was really nothing there to hate. So he imagined it. Stop being such a fool, Zel. Lina implored, shaking her head sadly. Everyone in town accepted him, but this fictitious high standard he built for himself, like a payback he owned everyone for loving him... Lina squeezed a hand on his shoulder and wished he could feel it.

Zel absently brushed whatever he felt off his shoulder and continued reading.

Lina's face soured. No one could live up to those standards... How come he can't get that! Lina crossed her arms as she sat, and looked to the sky with a grimace on her face. Huh?! She turned to see Zel gone. She hurried after his aura residue, finally coming to the woods again.


Zel hacked at trees furiously.

Lina sat on a fallen oak and watched.

Zel stopped and stared at the old tree he hadn't even cut in half yet.

"...'pretty good'...pant huff...'don't be modest', huh? About what!?!" Zel hacked at the tree again so quickly, Lina almost jumped. "I can't even - !" Zel pulled his sword from the still stable tree, stabbed his sword into the ground, and kneeled beside it, resting his forehead against the hilt.

Lina watched him oddly as he closed his straining eyes.

"...I can't even...I can't even - !" Zel got up abruptly and went back inside the house.

"Hello, Zelga - " His mother's smile froze, then faded, as Zel went straight for his room and shut the door.

Inside, he studied his books again, to Lina's amazement. He went through them and re-read them over and over, memorizing, practicing, and flinging away the books he had finished with. Zel sat down on the floor and steadied himself.

"Zelgadis?" His mother's voice interrupted from the other side of the door.

"What." He said curtly.

"..."

He felt only a tinge of guilt. It burned in his gut and he asked for more.

"I was just wondering if you were ohkay." She implored.

He just imagined how worried and scared she was feeling. But that wasn't necessary; it was all in her voice. He could just see the same on her face, despite the opaque door.

"I'm just fine, Mother! I'm just very busy studying!"

Slowly, feet scuffled away from his door.

Zel took a deep breath. That hurt. But he did it on purpose. Why?

Is he trying to make her hate him? Lina asked herself. She had seen this before in the past year. Even the children in town who looked up to Zel so much, he would be befriending and protecting them one minute, then be trying to hurt them the next. Of course, they didn't realize what was going on. Why he tried to hurt their feelings without them wanting to hate him and break away from him fully. Then afterwards, Lina would hear the same thoughts from Zel that she was hearing now.

Why in the world did I just do that!? Zel put his head in his hands. All the more reason I don't deserve anything she gives me. Anything anyone gives me... Zel turned his eyes away from the mirror-like surface of his sword. Lina had noticed this in him too. He avoided anything which made him face his reflection. She watched him shut his eyes.

I just need more practice. Zel layed down, sprawled out on the floor of his room. I need to improve! He would make it up to her later, Lina heard Zel promise himself. He would be a better person for the people he loved, or at least please them. The swordplay would make them proud, especially his father. But what really made it important was that having the ability was something Zel himself wanted. To have something good about himself that he could personally be proud of, regardless of the opinions and reactions of the people in his life. Zel picked up another book.

Lina sat herself closer to Zel, knowing he'd be true to his word. She smiled, watching him.


"Lina." Vortex came up to her fellow Fate as they passed in the corridors of the Fates' association. "So how is Zel?"

"He's getting more obsessed." Lina sighed. "He's always practicing or studying. Like it's a substitute for his personality's shortcomings." Lina frowned sadly for him.

"You don't sound so critical... I'd think when this assignment started a year and a half ago, you would have written this guy off as being just plain stupid. Always trying to punish himself."

"Yeah, well..." Lina crossed her arms and looked off, trying to seem unconcerned with fools and Pawns as usual. "He's got his reasons. OK. They're not excuses, but reasons."

"Sure. But anyway, take a look at this." Vortex handed Lina a file folder. "An update on your assignment."

Lina flipped through the file. Thankfully, all that reading with Zel had made her a faster reader. She shut the folder.

"I can't do this!"

"Yeah, I know, Lina. But it's orders." Vortex eyed Lina critically. "You're not supposed to care about the Pawns this much, Lina."

Lina just gaped at Vortex and shook her head. You're heartless!

Vortex seemed a little hurt by the remark she heard drift from Lina's mind.

"C'mon, Lina. I got to show you something. It might help you out in this assignment."

Lina didn't move to follow Vortex to her office.

Vortex turned back and added, "It might help you out in this...situation."

Slowly, Lina rocked and shifted her feet to follow the veteran Fate.


Vortex lead Lina to her office. Lina helped herself to a seat in front of the desk Vortex sat herself behind.

"You don't want anything bad to happen to this kid?"

Lina's eyes went strained and she looked away. "Of course not." She said quietly. Vortex studied Lina for quite some time. Lina shot back a glance. Yeah! I like him! Oh-kay! Lina huffed and looked away. Vortex chuckled a bit, adding to Lina's irritation. "Let me tell you a secret." Vortex took a quick look around for eavsdroppers, then set up a psychic barricade around herself and Lina. Do you see this ring?

Yes. Lina looked at Vortex oddly as she displayed the ring of polished redwood, with veins of jade.

The one who gave it to me knew I wouldn't like a traditional wedding band style. Not even of gold and diamonds.

Lina's eyes widened as she realized that Vortex wore her only ring on her left hand's ring finger. You - You - !

Mm-hm. Vortex nodded her head, smiling.

But you're destined to never even become involved with anyone!

But it happened.

How did you keep it from the High Council?

They're near-omnicient, not fully omnicient. My point is, Lina, that it's possible. And Vortex left Lina to chew the fat.


"Fate Inverse." The voice of the High Council's chairman boomed. "You've disobeyed orders, commited crimes against Destiny. Do you have anything to say in your defense?"

"Only that I had every right to! How can you make me put the idea in Rezo's head to use his own Grandson as one of his own minions to experiment on!? Then what was the point of making me watch Zel!?"

"Zelgadis Greywiers is his proper name. Is this why you've disobeyed? Hm?"

Lina didn't bother to answer them.

"So now you are becoming involved with Pawns as well!?"

"I never contacted him! He's never even seen me!"

"But you are having a sort of emotional bias. It is still unacceptable. I doubt that this did not factor into your disobedience in your assignment."

Lina kept her eyes averted. Then she suddenly shot them at the High Council. "In the end, it didn't matter that I tried to keep Zel from that spot in the woods for Rezo to find him that day, did it? You just sent a more house-broken lackey to finish the job!"

"Silence!" The chairman pounded the gavel. "You have still committed a crime, Fate Inverse, punishible by banishment to the Death Void. This council sentences you to 500 years!"

Lina just blew them a rasberry.


500 years. 500 Earth years of darkness and nothing. No powers. Only hallucinations and voices in your head to accompany you. And sleep was never a refuge, because in this place, it was denied. Even Fates lost their minds in such a place.

A light?! Lina blinked her eyes, trying to convince herself that she was in face blinking. 500 years of darkness and she could no longer tell when her eyes were open or closed. But now, they were definitely open. The light was too bright for a hallucination, some fragmented corner of her mind reasoned. Then the rest of her psyche brought in other lights for her to see. A fractured mind bringing in its own reality to contradict the now visible truth which proved it false.


Vortex hauled Lina's ½ aware body to the office which she and her friend Fate Trava had kept up for her.

"Will she be alright, Vortex?" Trava asked as Vortex placed a wet towel on the forehead of the girl lying on the cot.

Lina's powers had been restored to her now that she was released from the Death Void, but with her mind fractured, she could only hold onto a small portion of the powers she had when she first went in. Which explained why Lina was no longer the illusion/mask of a tall, buxom red-head they had seen go down the corridors 500 years ago, but was now the teenaged petite she had originally been when she first joined the Fates.

"In a couple thousand years...her mind will be completely sane again." Vortex spoke from experience.

Trava looked on sadly. "Such a waste of a great sorceress."

"You know..." Vortex looked determined on something. "Her mind would be just fine if it never remembered going through the Death Void."

"Heh. While you're at it, why don't you make her forget she was ever a Fate!"

Vortex stared at Trava.

"I was joking."

"I'm not." Vortex turned back to swath Lina's forehead. "I don't think she wanted to be a Fate anymore. And the only reason the High Council never lets people have their lives back after becoming Fates is to keep the Association of us a secret. We take her memories while she's vulnerable like this, and it's guarenteed that she'll never ever remember the Fates."

"And she gets to live again...But we don't?"

Vortex shook her head. "Now's not the time to be thinking about ourselves and what we want. This is not the time of our opportunity." Vortex wrung out the old towel. "Hell! We could even set her up with an ancestor of hers for a new life!"

"You mean Luna Inverse?"

Vortex winked. "The timing is perfect."

Trava raised an eyebrow. "Isn't it always? I mean, Fate's corridors being outside of time and all."


"Why don't you come to Sailoon?"

"No, Amelia. I'd have better chances finding a cure outside of the penninsula."

Lina saw Amelia hand Zelgadis one of her bracelets. She turned back to Gourry before he noticed. "Gourry, why don't you meet me in Sairaag. There's something I have to do alone first."

"Well..." Gourry eyed Lina, worried for a moment. "I'd feel a lot better if I went with you. You need a protector."

WHAP!

"...Al-right...maybe I'll go ahead..." A pounded Gourry stumbled towards the road.

Lina turned in the opposite direction, towards the horizon she had seen Zel go over, out of the corner of her eye.

"Lina."

She turned back to see Gourry looking at her very seriously, no longer crumpled.

"Whatever you need to do... Be careful."

Lina smiled and nodded. She waved one last time to Gourry, then chased after Zel. Gourry watched as long as he could, before heading down the opposite road towards Sylphiel.


"Are you trying to leave without saying goodbye again?" Lina tapped her foot, while her hands rested at her hips.

Zel stopped but didn't turn around. "I would have thought you were used to it by now."

"No!" Lina marched up to him. "It just pisses me off even more each time!"

Zel turned away before she could remove his hood and mask. "Lina! Just don't!"

"Ze - " She began softly. "Hey! I'm still talking to you!" She caught up to him as he tried to walk away. She just kept walking by his side for a while, before she could think of anything to say. "Y'know that hood and mask really don't look good. I know you think you look terrible, but that mask actually makes you look worse."

He glanced at her strangely for a moment. Then stared straight ahead. "It's just like the inside. I deserve it." He said quietly.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Zel, you said 'just like the inside'."

"..."

"Zel." She let her eyes burn holes into him, until he had to shut his own eyes to block it out.

"Stop it."

"Stop what? Thinking that you're worth something?! Well, if you think you can change my mind Zelgadis Greywiers..."

"Heh." He actually smiled. "That would be quite a feat indeed."

"Hey!"

Zel repressed his laugh down to a smile.

Lina decided not to come down hard on him. "You know, I don't know why I keep putting up with you." Lina crossed her arms sarcastically.

"Well, maybe it's fate."

The two disappeared together beyond a far horizon.


Fate Vortex closed the file folder on Lina Inverse.

"It's funny." Fate Trava idily took the file folder and eyed it as she sat across from Vortex's desk. "Even us Fates can be Pawns."

"I don't know, Trava. Is that really such a bad thing?"


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