Vile: Welcome, one and all! Can you believe it!? A second episode! I'm shocked! I'm thrilled! I'm...
::Vile glances down at his pants, then yelps and quickly adjusts them::
Vile:... a bit excited.
Audience: Ewwww.
Vile: ANYWAY! ::twirls his microphone and winks through his helmet:: We've got a great episode lined up! I took extra precautions, however, to make sure that nothing happens this time to ruin the episode!
::Somewhere, far far away...::
::Roll struggles, bound and gagged, as she sits in a broom closet::
Roll: o.O {SON OF A -- ! I'll get you for this!}
::Back at the show::
Vile: Soooo! Who's my guest? PLEASE let it be X!
::Vile lunges to his desk and peers at the guest entrance::
Vile: X? X? X?
::Zero walks on stage, his cheek twitching::
Vile:... well, sh::t.
Zero: Don't cuss. There's kids present. ::sits down on the guest couch as he growls at Vile:: You pervert.
Vile: Better a pervert than a a reject from Transexual Transylvania.
Zero:... is that a crack about my hair!?
Vile: No, she-man. What ever gave you that idea?
Zero: JUST BECAUSE my armor has weird jewels where the female gender has breasts does NOT MAKE ME A -
Vile: Weirdo?
Zero: NO!
Vile: Admit it. You take estrogen shots.
Zero: WATCH IT, bucket face!
Vile: Watch what? Your man boobs?
Zero: Waste-face!
Vile: Princess Zero!
Zero: You're asking for it!
Vile: Whatcha gonna do!? Spank me!?
::The audiance watches, fascinated, as the two reploids growl ferally at eachother::
::Zero leans back and sneers, cockily.
Zero: You're just jealous that most people prefer pairing X with ME than YOU.
Vile: Oh please. Why would I be jealous of a DEAD MAN?
Zero: YOU'RE dead too!
Vile:... but at least I don't scream "WHAT AM I FIGHTING FOR", and then turn around and keep on going like nothing happened!
Zero:... hey....
Vile: It's like Rose from Titanic! ::bats his eyes and clasps his hands together:: ::mimicing Rose:: I'll NEVER let you go... ::makes a dropping gesture:: WHOOPS!
Zero:... that is NOT what happened!
Vile: Is too!
Zero: NOT!
Vile: TOO!
Zero: NOT!!!
Vile: TOOOOOOO!!!
Zero: CHILD!!!
Vile: I know YOU are but what am I!
Zero: AT LEAST I'M GETTIN' SOME!
Vile: Your hand doesn't count!
Zero: YOU SON OF A -- !
::Zero suddenly lunges at Vile, his hands wrapping around the Maverick's throat::
::A bright flash illuminates the room and a reploid female tiger appears::
NT: HEY!
Vile:... my god! It's an Author-insert character!
NT: Damn right it is! Stop fighting and ask him some questions, dammit! This isn't Jerry Springer!
Zero:...
Vile:...
::Zero sits down and grumbles while Vile rubs his throat and hisses::
Vile: Fine... ::looks at his cards:: ... Why are you a bastard, Zero?
Zero:... HEY...
NT: VILE!!!
Vile:... oh FINE... ::looks at the cards again and sighs:: ::forces a smile:: How does it feel to be one of the most popular characters out there?
Zero: DAMN GOOD.
Vile: Better than your happy time with yourself?
NT: VILE.
Vile:... Yes, yes, sorry. ::looks at the cards:: Is it true that your creator is Wily?
Zero:... well, let me SEE. There was a funky german freak in my dreams in X4... as well as the mangas... PLUS Forte mentioned a 'ponty tailed robot' in the end of that arcade game. What do YOU think?
Vile:... I personally think you were created by either Dr. Frankenfurter or Dr. Kevorkian.
Zero: YOU -- !
::Zero lunges at Vile and proceeds to bang his head against the floor::
NT:... bleeeh... ::rubs her tembles::
Zero: DIE! DIE! DIE!
Vile: ACK! ACK! ACK!
Audience: JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!
NT:... That went well. ::turns to face the audience and grins:: Anyway... um. ... Okay! I guess that ends today's show. We'll tune in next time with... the guest of your choice! That's right, folks! Vote for the next guest to appear on the show! Will it be a Maverick? A Robot Master? A Hunter? WHO? YOU decide! And then Vile will interview them for you!
Zero: AUGH! HE BIT MY EAR!! HOW THE HELL CAN HE BITE MY EAR WITH THAT HELMET ON HIS FACE?!
Vile: Just call me Tyson! ::CHOMP::
Zero: WAUGH!
NT:... hopefully it ends better than THIS. So... um... vote! YAY!