Act One-Scene One: The kingdom of Zionia. King Zangulus's court. Enter King Zangulus and Queen Martina.
Zangulus: What is the matter, oh my fair Queen?
Martina: Oh its Nothing my handsome king! It's just that I have a rather odd feeling that something strange is about to occur...
(Enter Luna, Lina, and Zelgadis.)
Luna: How's it going your highness!
Zangulus: Just fine, Miss Luna. What warrants this unexpected visit?
Luna: I'm afraid it's my beloved little sister, Lina. She refuses to accept my decision that she marry this fine young man I choose for her!
(Luna gestures to Zelgadis whose face shows little intrest in the conversation.)
Zangulus: Lina, I wish to know why you disobey your sister's decree.
Lina: Well...You see your highness, I feel that now is a rather inopportune time to wed anyone. Besides I refuse to be told whom I have marry! Nothing personal Zel.
Martina: I don't see how you could refuse Lina...he's quite a catch!
(Martina starts cackling)
Zangulus: Martina!
Martina: ...OPPS! Sorry Sugar Cookie!
Zangulus: ...And what do you have to say about this predicament Zelgadis?
(Luna glares at Zelgadis.)
Zelgadis: Nothing your Highness.
Zangulus: It would seem that the only one here not satisfied with things is you, Lina.
Lina: There's no way I'm gonna marry any anybody...and there's nothing that's gonna change my mind!
Zangulus: Is that so? You are aware that Luna is your Guardian, and as such your are obligated to do as she says.
Lina: Yeah I know. So what?
Luna: So...you have to what I tell you to or else...
Lina: Or else what?
(Zangulus and Martina restrain the feuding sisters.)
Zangulus: Hear well my words, Lina Inverse! You will marry Zelgadis or be forced to serve as a priestess at the temple of Ciepheed. You will forever banned from Black magic and still remain a servant to your sister!
(Silence fills the hall.)
Lina: Well. We'll have to see about that now won't we?
(Lina storms out of the castle followed by Luna and Zelgadis.)
Martina: Honey, I'm not one to defend Lina, but...don't you think that was a bit harsh?
Zangulus: What would you have me do? Side with Lina? You and I both know Luna is not one to cross.
Act One-Scene Two: Red Wyvern Tavern. Enter Lina who promptly sits at a table and orders something to eat.
Lina: How dare they command me to marry someone without even my say in the matter! What are they trying to do? Ruin my life?!
(Lina tears into the meal. Enter Amelia)
Amelia: Hi Miss Lina! How are things going for you this afternoon?
Lina: Bad.
Amelia: BAD! Oh why do you say that, Miss Lina?
Lina: Haven't you heard? I'm "engaged" to Zel! It's all thanks to my sister...and the only way to get out of all this is to give up my magic and join the temple!
Amelia: ...I see.
(Enter Gourry.)
Gourry: Hi Lina! Hi Amelia! What's with all the long faces around Here? Hey Lina, are you going to finish that chicken?
Lina: Nah. I'm not really all that hungry today.
Gourry: You're not hungry? Something's gotta be up or you'd never say that!
Amelia: Miss Lina is getting married... to Mr. Zelgadis.
Gourry: Well Isn't that a good thing?
Lina: NO GOURRY ITS NOT! There has to be some way outta this without having to become a priestess.
(They sit quietly, desperate for a plan.)
Amelia: I got it Miss Lina! If You and Mr. Gourry elope you wouldn't have to marry Mr. Zelgadis because you'd already be married!
(Lina strikes Amelia with a fist to the head.)
Lina: How could you even suggest such a thing! As if I'd ever marry that blockhead!
Amelia: Yewouch! Miss Lina! I didn't mean to say you really should elope...just a fake one. Once you leave Zionia you're off the hook!
Lina: OH! That's actually not a bad idea Amelia! I could use a vacation from this place...not to mention Luna. Come on Gourry! Its time to run off and get hitched-HEE HEE!
Gourry: LINA WAAAAAIITTTT!
(Exit Lina and Gourry. Lina dragging him along by the collar.)
Act One-Scene Three: The Daleen Woods outside of Zionia. Enter Dilgear, Noonsa, and the Imps: Scratch, Sniff, Flop, and Shorty.
Dilgear: Is everyone here?
Scratch: The best I can tell we are all accounted for.
Dilgear: All right then. Why did you call us all here Noonsa?
(Noonsa hands each of his cohorts a leather bound script.)
Dilgear: What's this? ‘Bring Us Justice and Peace: The Death of the Abominable Fiend Lina Inverse.' A play? Why are you showing us this, fishman?
Noonsa: Duh...We've been booked to perform a play in Zionia for next week...and this what was requested.
Sniff: Finally some real work. Who gets the part of the Heroine?
Noonsa: Scratch does.
Scratch: NO! I wanted to be the Devil King Zangulus!
Flop: Why does he get to play the lead? I WANTED IT!
(A brief argument, then a scuffle breaks out among the Imps. Dilgear attempts to restore order.)
Dilgear: Settle down you little hairballs! By the way Noonsa, what part do I get?
Noonsa: The Dragon's back half and the Holy Warrior Lina.
Dilgear: ARRGGHHH! WHY ME? I'm not going play a girl...especially such a foul-mouthed and small breasted one!
(Another argument erupts.)
Noonsa: I'm sorry but we'll all have play the parts assigned: so let's all learn our lines, because we don't have much time.
End of Act One