Zelos: Reading. 'Once upon a time, in a far away land, a young sorceress named Lina Red Ridding Hood was trudging through the Forrest. She was on her way to see her big sister, Luna. She didn't want to go, but her mother kicked her out, so she had to.'
Lina: 'Oh, why do I have to go?! Why can't SHE take Luna these #@*$ bills?!'
Zelos: 'Cause the script says YOU were going. Get moving, shrimp!'
Lina: 'SHRIMP?! And who are you, anyway?!? Where'd these scripts come from?!'
Zelos: cough 'THAT's a secret! As I was saying... Lina was on her way to see her sister...'
Lina stared glumly at the enormous bills in her hand and stuffed them into her pocket. Suddenly a figure stepped out of the bushes and motioned for her to stop. She did. The oddest looking thing stood glaring at her. She THOUGHT it was a wolf for a moment, then realized that it was really a really strange guy with blue skin in a wolf suite.
Lina: 'Hey, what are you doing wearing that ridiculous outfit? And what's with the skin?!'
Zelgadis: 'Watch it, small fry. I'm Zelgadis, the wolf-chimera.'
Lina: 'Watch who you're calling 'small fry', freak face. And what's a wolf-chimera?!'
Zelgadis: 'Oh, shut up. I got stuck in this stupid outfit when I was escaping from an evil sorcerer. He changed me into this.. this... creature. He made me part human, golem, and demon.'
Lina: 'Cool! Dose that mean that only the famous 'Sword of Light' can hurt you?'
Zelgadis looked at the red hood wearing girl strangely and sighed, exasperated. He motioned her to walk on and fell in beside her. Zelos trailed along, smiling and waving as Zelgadis spared him a glare too.
Zelos: 'And so the wolf-chimera explained to Lina Red Ridding Hood that he was bound to stay in the itchy wolf suite until he found someone that could break the spell keeping the zipper stuck.'
Lina: 'Uhh ... I'm a sorceress ...'
Zelgadis: 'I thought so. That's why I stopped you. So, can you free me then?!'
Lina: 'I can try ... Hold still.'
Zelos: 'Even as Lina Red Ridding Hood was starting her 'Flow Break' spell, a Hunter was passing by. He caught sight of the wolf-chimera and the young girl and charged in, his long blond hair flying.'
Zelgadis: 'Oh, very artistic with the hair ...'
Zelos: 'Thank you!'
Zelgadis: 'Fruitcake...'
Gourry: 'Don't worry, I'll save you!'
Zelgadis ducked several swipes of the large sword and kicked the Hunter hard in the stomach. Lina crouched by the gasping figure and glared up at Zelos, who was sitting comfortably in a tree.
Lina: 'This is stupid ... Hey, you didn't have to kick him so hard, Zelgadis.'
The wolf-chimera shrugged and scratched his shoulder. Lina pushed the Hunter up into a sitting position and poked him.
Zelgadis: 'Why don't you just leave him?'
Lina: 'Are you kidding? He might have money on him!'
Zelgadis: 'I should have guessed ...'
Gourry: 'Say, what's going on? Since when could wolves talk?'
Lina: A large teardrop appeared on the back of her hood. 'Wolves can't talk ...'
Gourry: 'But he does!'
Lina: 'That's Zelgadis. He's not really a wolf. Come on, I'll explain later.'
Zelos: 'And so the handsome, brave, and brainless
Hunter joined the group as they made their way deeper into the Forrest.'
Gourry: 'Who's he?' He pointed up at Zelos.
Lina: 'You don't want to know. Just walk.'
Zelos: 'Not far away, a young girl sat staring up at a huge oak tree in the middle of the Forrest. She was a pretty little Ryuzoku named Cinder-Felia, because her wicked step family made her sleep in the cinders.'
Felia: 'They made me WHAT?!'
Zelos: 'Just wait a moment, dummy.' He hopped up into the tree branches, avoiding Flea's huge mace. 'Cinder-Felia wanted nothing more than to go to the Ball being held in honor of the handsome Prince Valgarv, but her evil step family wouldn't let her, and had left her at home all by herself.'
Felia: 'I don't know why I'm doing this ... Oh well ...' Strikes a dramatic pose, trying to hide her tail. 'Oh, how I wish I could go to the Ball!'
Zelos snickered at her and kicked something out of the tree.
Zelos: 'Her Farie-god ... sorcerer heard poor Cinder-Felia's plea and appeared before the Ryuzoku.'
Brumagan: 'What the- Oh.... I forgot..' He pulled out a script from under his robes and started to read. 'Oh, poor little Cinder-Felia. I will help you.'
Felia: 'Who the heck are you?!' She pulled out her mace from under her skirt and flattened the sorcerer, who got back up a moment later, rubbing his head and looking annoyed.
Brumagan: I'm you're Farie-god sorcerer. WAIT a sec... FARIE?!'
Zelos: 'It's just a term.... Ignore it.'
Brumagan glared up at the cheerful narrator and then back at the script.
Brumagan: 'Fruitcake...' he muttered, then turned back to Felia. 'I can get you to the Ball if you want, Cinder-Felia, but you have to follow some quick rules.'
Felia: 'Sure, why not. Just get me to the #*@% party.'
Brumagan: 'Okay, #1- You have to be home by midnight.'
Felia: 'Sheesh! You've GOT to be kidding me!'
Brumagan: 'Hey, it's in the contract! No spells past midnight. Wanna end up sitting at the party butt naked?'
Felia: 'Oh, fine.' She looked disgruntle.
Zelos: 'And so Cinder-Felia agreed to not change into her Ryuzoku form at the party, to be home by midnight, and to be careful of her shoes, which were made of glass.'
Brumagan&Felia: 'GLASS?! What kind of a nut are you?!'
Zelos: 'Hehehehehe.' He grinned happily, shaking his finger at the pair.
Felia: 'You know, I hate you.'
Brumagan: 'Fruitcake...'
Zelos: 'Near the palace of Prince Valgarv and his brother,Prince Sangulus there lived an ugly witch.'
Martina: 'UGLY?!'
Zelos: 'Deal with it.' He tossed her a fake witch nose.
Martina: 'Why am I the ugly one?!'
Zelos: 'That's a secret.'
Martina: 'WHAT?!'
Zelos: 'AS I was saying... Martina the Witch lived in a beautiful home that had a beautiful garden. Many years ago she caught a Baker stealing her lettuce, so she made him give her his tiny baby girl so she could raise it as her own.'
Martina: 'Why would I want a baby??'
Zelos: 'Look, would you just wait till I'm DONE here?! Thank you. Martina the Witch wanted to keep little Amelia-punzel safe, so she locked her up in a huge tower with only one door. Martina the Witch soon found out that her little daughter talked too much, and gave long drawn-out speeches on justice, so she got rid of the door too.'
Martina: 'Then how am I supposed to get to her?!'
Zelos: 'You used your magic, stupid.'
Martina: 'Oh yeah ... Say, you're kinda cute ...'
Zelos: 'Uhh ... Anyway, young Amelia-punzel wanted to get out and see the world, but Martina the Witch didn't want to let her go. NOT because she wanted to keep the girl around, but she didn't think the rest of humanity deserved it.'
Amelia: 'Oh, whoa is me. Why won't Mother let me go and see the world? Is there no justice? Fairness demands that she give me a chance to find a prince worthy of me!'
Martina: 'Not a chance, Amelia-punzle. What prince in his right mind would want to listen to YOU all day. Give it up and be quiet.'
Amelia: 'There's no justice in that!'
Zelos: 'And so, Martina the Witch sat there, day in and day out, listening to Amelia-punzel's speeches on justice and fairness.'
Martina: 'Why me?'
Zelos: 'It's in the script.'
Martina: '$@!*$ the script! Who wrote this thing?!'
Zelos: 'That's a secret.'
Amelia: 'That's not FAIR!'