Zelos: 'Lina Red Ridding Hood sat at the table of the little inn and stuffed her face along with the Gourry the Hunter, as Zelgadis the wolf-chimera sat under the table, looking about ready to blow the whole inn up.'
Zelgadis: 'WHY AM I ON THE FLOOR?!'
Lina: 'Look at the sign on the door. "No pets at the table".
Zelgadis cussed.
Zelos: 'THAT wasn't in the script.....'
Gourry: 'Say, Lina Red Ridding Hood, where are you going?'
Lina: 'I WAS going to see my sister, but I think I'll help Zelgadis here first.'
Gourry: 'Oh. Say, Zelgarbis, are you a sorcerer too?'
Zelgadis: 'That's Zelgadis, and yes I am. I just can't get this @#!* suite off.'
Gourry: 'I heard there was some witch who lived around here. Maybe SHE could help ...'
Lina: 'Gourry, that's great! Now... who's paying the bill?'
Zelos: 'And so the three travelers set out to find Martina the Witch, AFTER fighting about who would pay the enormous bill.'
Zelgadis: 'What's to fight about? Make HIM pay!' He pointed out the window where Zelos stood. 'He's the one who started all this!'
Zelos: 'Hehehe. That's not in the script.'
Lina: 'Why you - '
Zelos: 'Not too far off, young Cinder-Felia was running through the woods, only wearing one glass shoe and her rags.'
Felia: 'Rags?! And only ONE shoe?! Where'd the other one go?!?!'
Zelos: 'Valgarv has it, idiot. And the rags are for censor purposes only ...' He coughed. 'It seemed Prince Valgarv had anticipated trouble and had spread tar over the steps after everyone had arrived. Even now the Prince was trying to pry the dainty glass shoe off the steps without breaking it.'
Valgarv: 'Who's #@!*$ idea was it to put TAR here, anyway?!'
Mozoku servant: 'Uhhh.... You, milord.' Valgarv glanced up and toasted the servant to a crisp with a fireball.
Valgarv: 'Anyone ELSE want to comment?'
Silence.
Zelos: 'As Prince Valgarv struggled to get the shoe out from the tar, his brother was walking around the base of the huge tower, looking for a way in. He wasn't particurlary smart, and liked dramatics and swordplay rather than study or politics.'
Sangulus: 'As the greatest swordsman that ever lived, why shouldn't I? Say, what am I looking for, anyway?'
Zelos: 'A way in.'
Sangulus: 'Why?'
Zelos: 'You heard your greatest rival was up there....'
Sangulus: 'Who would that be?'
Zelos: He looks annoyed and grabs Sangulus by his ankle, hanging him upside down. 'Look stupid, didn't you read the script? The famous Hunter, Gourry.'
Sangulus: 'Why would I care about a Hunter?'
Zelos: Drops him on his head. 'Uhhh look, they say he's a better swordsman than you.'
Sangulus: 'What?! Why I'll tear him limb from limb!' Zelos grinned, for he knew that Gourry was NOT up in the tower, but he did know that nothing quite like someone being better than him got Sangulus's attention. He penned something in on his script before continuing.
Zelos: 'High above, Amelia-punzel saw the Prince and started waving. But she was so high up that he couldn't hear her. Finding no way inside, Prince Sangulus left, vowing to return soon, with his brother who could blow the whole tower up if need be.'
Amelia: 'Hey! My Prince! No fair!!!'
Martina: 'Oh good god ...'
Zelos: 'There lived a blind sorcerer not far from Martina the Witch's home. He was very powerful, but he wanted to be able to see. Since he was blind, he wasn't sure how to go about this until he heard of a legend that there was a magical harp that could cure anything being held by a Giant who lived far up in the clouds.'
Rezo: 'A harp?'
Zelos: 'Just play along.'
Rezo: '..............'
Zelos: 'Rezo the Blind sent his servants out to steal herbs from Martina the Witch's garden so he could try as many spells as it took to find a way up there.'
Goblin Servant: 'Uhh... master, why don't you just....'
Rezo: 'Why don't I just what?'
Goblin Servant: 'Uhh....' It shook in it's boots.
Rezo: 'Get on with it!'
Goblin Servant: It swallowed once, then spoke. 'Why don't you just fly up ... You know the spe-'
The Goblin Servant froze as an acorn pierced it's shoulder, then screamed as it imploded. Everyone looked up at Zelos, sitting up in a tree. He smiles and waved.
Zelos: 'Not in the script!' He sang.
They all thought he was deranged.
Rezo: 'Never mind. Just get me those herbs.'
Zelos: 'Rezo got all the herbs he needed, but one of the Goblins also brought back some beans. Rezo hated beans, so he threw them out his window after frying the Goblin.'
Rezo: 'But if the herbs are magical then wouldn't the beans be - '
Zelos: 'Would you stop asking questions?'
Rezo: 'But - '
Zelos jumped down from the tree, shoved the blind sorcerer down into his chair and sat in his lap.
Zelos: 'Stop arguing with me, cutie. Just do what the script says and you'll end up happy. Promise.'
Rezo looked VERY uncomfortable, but nodded. He nearly fainted when Zelos gave him a kiss on the cheek before vanishing to continue the story.
Zelos: Grinning. 'That night Lina Red Ridding Hood, Gourry the Hunter, and Zelgadis the wolf-chimera settled down under the shelter of a large tower. Up in the tower, Amelia-punzel was yet again lecturing Martina the Witch who sat, nodding off to sleep. In the palace, Prince Valgarv was arguing with his brother about what they would do the next day. Prince Valgarv wanted to find the girl who had left the glass shoe, which he had finally gotten off the steps, while Prince (Guy with the hat) wanted to go back to the tower and find out what was really up there. They finally agreed to do both. First find the girl with the shoe and then take her with them when they went to the tower.
Rezo the Blind sorcerer tried to sleep as well, angry that he hadn't been able to find his way up into the clouds and the fact that Zelos had kissed him left him with nightmares all night. Mean while, Brumagen, Cinder-Felia's Farie-god sorcerer was trying to make the girl go to sleep without throwing the other shoe away.'
Lina: 'Man, remind me never to sleep outside again... I dreamed that I was in some kind of horrid Farie ta-'
Zelgadis: 'Keep that thought. Where are we, anyway?'
Lina: 'I don't know... Weren't we following Gourry?' Both looked over at the still snoring Hunter, who was hugging his sword to him protectively.
Zelgadis: 'Why would we do something stupid like that?'
Lina: 'Cause HE told us we had to....' She pointed up at Zelos who was leaning back in midair, grinning at them. He winked at Zelgadis who ignored him and then pulled out his script.
Zelos: 'Right, where were we? Ah, here. Lina Red Ridding Hood and Zelgadis the wolf-chimera questioned Gourry the Hunter about the mysterious witch.'
Lina: 'How do we do that?! He's ASLEEP!'
Zelgadis: 'Just wake him up....'
Lina: 'Oh, OKAY! Fire...'
Zelgadis: 'Hehe.'
Lina: 'BALL!'
Gourry: 'EEEEEYAAAAOOOOWWWW!'
Zelos: 'After Zelgadis the wolf-chimera had put out the fire in the woods, the burnt Hunter explained how Martina the Witch would grant a person wishes if they could do her a favor. It turned out that Gourry the Hunter didn't know what the favor would be, so both Lina Red Ridding Hood and Zelgadis the wolf-chimera were none too pleased about the idea.'
Lina: 'Why don't we know what the 'favor' is?!'
Zelos: 'It's a-
All: 'SECRET!' Groan.
Zelgadis: 'Fruitcake....'
Zelos: 'Rezo the Blind sorcerer woke to find that the beans he had thrown out the window had been magic beans. They had grown over night and were reaching high up into the clouds. After realizing what this ment, Rezo got ready to climb up the beanstalk.'
Rezo: 'I can't climb that thing! I'm BLIND!'
Zelos: Sideling up to Rezo. 'Oh, you'll manage just fine, smart boy.'
Rezo: 'Uhh......'
Zelos: 'If it's so hard, I could always help you...'
Rezo: Already starting to climb. 'Nope, I've got it. See you. Bye.'
Zelos: Still pouting. 'Anyway... As Rezo the Blind sorcerer climbed up the huge beanstalk Prince Valgarv and his brother were riding around looking for the maiden who had been crazy enough to wear a glass shoe to a ball. They searched all over the kingdom, but skipped over Cinder-Felia's house. Her evil step family locked her up in her tower room when the Princes did arrive. Cinder-Felia tried to get out, but the door had been locked from the outside.'
Felia: 'Awe man.... Can't I just smash it down with my mace?'
Zelos: 'You don't have it with you.' He glared at her, and pointed at the script. She grumbled and read it, then smiled.
Felia: 'Oh, okay!'
Zelos: 'Seeing no way to get to her Prince, Cinder-Felia decided to reveal her true form. She changed into her Ryuzoku form and burst from the tower.'
Felia: 'ALRIGHT!'
Zelos: 'Oh, don't be too excited just yet, worm girl.'
Felia: 'WHAT WAS THAT?!'
Zelos: He calmly deflected her fire blast and leafed through the script. 'The two Princes were shocked to see the huge Ryuzoku, and her evil step family all died of heart attacks, because weak hearts ran in that side of the family. Prince Valgarv decided to protect his brother from the golden beast and also changed into a Ryuzoku, much to his brother and Cinder-Felia's surprise.'
Sangulus: 'Whoa! I'm related to a RYUZOKU?!'
Zelos: 'Just go with it.'
Valgarv: 'So I just transformed right then and there?'
Zelos: 'Who cares? Everyone else was dead anyway. Oh, except you, Sangulus.'
Sangulus: 'Thanks ...'
Zelos: 'When Cinder-Felia saw her Prince transform, she was so happy that she couldn't hold her form and changed back into Cinder-Felia. When Prince Valgarv saw her, he realized she was the beautiful maiden who had worn the glass shoe. He changed back as well and held up the shoe.'
Valgarv: 'Lady, I believe this is yours.'
Felia: Damn straight! What was the deal with the tar anyway?!'
Sangulus: 'Sheesh! Try to be polite. This IS the PRINCE you know...'
Felia: 'Oh yeah ... Oh, you found me!' She threw herself at Valgarv, who lost his grip on the glass shoe and dropped it, shattering it.
Valgarv: '$@^!* Now how can we tell it was really you?!'
Zelos: 'Just as Cinder-Felia was going to give up hope of ever getting her Prince, her Farie-god sorcerer showed up, looking disgusted.'
Valgarv: 'Uhh ... Farie?'
Brumagen: 'It's just a title ... Ignore it.' Cough. 'Oh Cinder-Felia, did you break one of those shoes?! Great ... Do you know how much super-glue this is going to take?! Oh, to hell with it. Here, take this pair and this time be more careful!'
Zelos: 'With that, her Farie-god sorcerer changed her back into her beautiful gown, with new glass shoes and then vanishes, taking the broken shards of the old shoe with him to get a refund. Valgarv was overjoyed that he had finally found the girl who had escaped him.'
Sangulus: 'Yeah. Now will you help me get into that tower??'
Zelos: 'But neither heard Prince Sangulus, for they were looking deep into each other's eyes, lost in each other..'
Felia: 'Hang on there! Is this turning into a LOVE SCENE?!'
Valgarv: '..................'
Zelos: 'Hehehe ...' Wicked smile.
Felia: 'That's it, I'm outta here.' She turned away from Valgarv's hurt look and found herself face to face with Zelos.
Zelos: 'I don't think so. Get back there, now.'
Felia: 'Uhh ... I'll just ... go back over here ...'
Zelos: 'That's better. Okay, Prince Valgarv took his beloved into his arms and gently touched her face, convincing himself she was really there. Cinder-Felia was lost in his tender eyes, overwhelmed by the kindness and love she saw. Just as they were about to kiss ... Prince Sangulus stepped up, looking annoyed and impatient.'
Sangulus: 'Can we go now?'
Zelos: 'Prince Valgarv lifted Cinder-Felia up on to this horse then vaulted up to sit behind her, his arms around her. She turned and pulled on the reins of Prince Sangulus's horse. Prince Sangulus was thrown over his saddle, the living crap beaten out of him. They rode off in search of the tower.'
Sangulus: Twitch. Twitch.