Me: My I'm so tired. Must've been the Karaoke yesterday. (Xellos crawls out of his trashcan. He makes eye contact and hurries over.)
Xellos: Goood morning. (She stares at him in shock.)
Me: So you did spend the night in the garbage can after downing a whole bottle of tequilla. (I am seriously not encouraging drinking. Drinking is bad, it can make you lose a kidney or even a liver.)
Xellos: (blinking innocently): I did not spend the night in a garbage can. I crawled in there at midnight! (This display of a drunkard is in a comical light, however in real life drunkards are quite scary and dangerous. If you see one run away, run away immediately. And if you are a drunkard you probably know that it isn't funny being stepped on after passing out on the floor while completely intoxicated with alcohol in a pickled brain state. And to end this without looking like some WB afterschool very special episode of whatever, What're you looking at?)
Me: Sometimes I just don't understand you. You should've drank soda instead, like little ol' me.
Xellos: Well we had a blast though didn't we? Who'd a thunk that fellow Bob could sing? (Bob is that poor nameless extra who had to suffer being dragged about by Naga as Peter.)
Me: Yes that was a surprise. It was just as surprising as Gourry singing that song 'Living la Vida Loca' Ricky Martin. ick. Boy he must've drank alot and amazingly he knew all the words... (If you are infatuated with Ricky Martin I am sorry but I don't like him.)
Xellos: Well it wasn't that hard. It was kinda funny when Ameria sang 'Bitch' though wasn't it?
Me: It was mildy entertaining, but it was more disturbing to say the least.
Xellos: At least we got to sing that duet. I got you babe...
Me: Speak nothing of it. At least I got to sing Give A Reason before Lina. That made her mad. (snickers.)
Xellos: Well that was just plain corny. We should start soon.
Me: Why do you say that?
Xellos: Because I'm begining to wonder if these conversations are actually longer than each segment we do.
Me: Good point. However this chapter may seem kinda lemony if you know what I mean, so proceed with caution. Action!
Xellos: Tee hee! ^_^
Me: Fruitcake. ¬.¬
"Juilet has been informed of Romeo's bad deed of murdering Tybalt. As luck would have it Romeo has not been put to death, however he is now exhiled from Sailoon. Thus he is sent to Atlas City instead, on his own free will of course." (Geez, that's supposed to be good news?!?) The happy-go-lucky director snaps her fingers and the lights go on to show Juliet sitting on her bed. "Juliet anxiously awaits for Romeo to come to her so they can celebrate.... their wedding vows, yes... well anyway the Nurse promised Romeo that a ladder would be propped against Juliet's balcony so he can go there safely. Juliet also doesn't know if she should cry for Tybalt, her murdered cousin, or Romeo, her newly banished hubby. And so..." Lina throws a shoe at the director.
"That's a healthy narrative there!" She growls. (She's still mad about Get A Reason. Who'da thunk it?) The director gets hit and she's down. Gourry, even though told to be inconspicuous walks right on the scene and drags the director out. (A first! Yet a blunder though... Ah well.) Juliet turns to the balcony. "Think true love acted simple modesty. Come night; come Romeo, come thou day in night." That was the cue, however, outside Romeo stands.
"The ladder's missing!" Zelgadis whispered to the crew. The crew shook their heads as if to say, 'I can't hear you'. Just then Ameria leaped onto the scene.
"I'll help you Mr. Zelgadis. To help others is like watering the helpful garden of my soul." Ameria gave a giddy victory sign. Zelgadis got an idea.
"Ameria, you have a nice large head. Almost like a stepping stone..." Zel smiled. Ameria didn't know if it was a comment or a compliment, but when she saw Zelgadis smile she nearly melted.
"Well Mr. Zelgadis... um... you have a nice head too." Ameria looked down at the ground. (Tis a dirty joke. What's sad is that I'm almost explaining this joke.) Lina's ears picked this last sentence up. She started to walk over to the balcony, her dress rustling as she went so she missed the next sentences being said.
"Ameria I'm going to step on your head to climb the balcony. So get down on your knees." Zelgadis looked up at the balcony."I'd better hurry too." (Lina missed hearing this part.)
"What did you say Mr. Zelgadis?" Ameria couldn't hear. Zelgadis was whispering too soft.
"I said, 'Get down on your knees'." Lina reached the balcony in time to hear this as she looked down she saw Ameria get down on her knees as Zelgadis approached her closer. He was about to get the proper footing by raising his leg when Lina yelled at him.
"Zel! You idiot! I hate you! I can't believe that you'd... you'd... Ugh!I hate you." She closed her eyes to block out the tears." I can't believe that I... I..." She ran away from the balcony. Zel looked up at the balcony in shock. He then replayed the situation in his mind from her perspective. (If he got the gag it proves that he's got a dirty mind.)
"Oh my god! RayWing!" (Why didn't he do this before?) He hurried after her, but Lina wasn't there. He jumped back down on the ground and began to run around the entire set looking for Lina. Where is she! His mind screamed. Around this time the director came to. Xellos showed her what was going on.
"Kripes! I missed something that comical?" She snapped her fingers and turns to Gourry, "I guess I owe you a pepsi." She turns back to Xellos, "We have to explain this to Lina or all hell would break loose."
"I think all hell has already broken loose." Xellos muttered as he pointed to Lina's trailer. Lina ran in there and slammed the door shut. Zel ran to Lina's door and knocked.
"Lina?" Zel said softly.
"GO AWAY ZEL!" Lina screamed as she laid down on the little bed inside her trailer. I thought I could trust you Zel. Lina sobbed quietly.
"Lina, it's not what you think."Zel's voice was calm, but anyone could clearly see there was a tinge of panic in there. "Please let me in. I want to talk to you. Please, give me only five minutes."
"I only want to make sweet sweet love to you." Xellos grinning at his joke from his lookout place.
"That made no sense," The director eyed him." That was, therefore pointless to say at a situation such as this."
"Aww... but I wanted so much to say it."
"What are you, Oliver Twist? Good gravy!" She glanced at the trailer that seemed to capture all of their attention. "This is where decisive action takes place."
"How about we make a huge wooden Trojan horse?" Xellos asked.
"Will you stop with that kind of sexual innuedo?This is serious man!If the two leads don't get along this defeats the whole purpose of me writing them a fanfic where they get cozy. Don't you get it?!"
"Why don't you pair me up with Lina? I'm sure we'll have a grand ol' time." Xellos smiled.
"Or even me." Gourry waved from the behind.
"Or even us." Ameria and Shifiel spoke shyly from behind.
"Eeww. I don't even want to think about that!" (>.<) the director screeched. "Pay attention."
She jumped from their lookout and walked directly to Lina's trailer. Zel looked at her stunned. "Lina, it's me open the door now!" There was a 5 minute pause. "Alright, fine! Be that way. I'll just unlock it." She pulled out her skeleton key.
"Why do you have a skeleton key?" Zel asked her.
"Why else? So I have stuff to sell to the tabloids after raiding your trailers. Where did you think I got that nifty purple lava lamp?" (Xellos: So that's where that went!) She unlocked the door. "And it saves the day in a situation like this." She opened the door. "Now come here." Zel silently followed. The director locked the door behind them. "Lina? It's me. I've come to talk to you."
Lina was on her bed still crying. Zel looked at her spellbound. Why is she crying? he thought. His heart ached as Lina slowly looked up. She made direct eye contact with Zel without even trying. Her eyes were puffy and her red ruby pupils were filled with hurt.
"Get out." she said to Zel. The director frowned.
"Now look I want to talk to you for a sec and you will listen." the director started to say.
"I'm quiting this show. So Ameria and Zel can have their rightful roles. Who was I trying to kid, *****?" Lina cried on her pillow a little more. "I'll just have to go after Gourry, but he's such a brainless idiot." The director slapped Lina on her cheek. (Lina would kill me for that.)
"Will you listen to me? I'm trying to tell you that what you saw in progress was not what you think it is. Ameria was trying to give Zel a boost to your balcony. Now I'll let Zel talk to you." The director turned on a tape recorder in her pocket. Lina's eyes went wide with this new information.
"Lina... I... I..." Zel just didn't know what he should say. He closed his eyes. "I don't like Ameria. Not at all, and if you quit... Lina, how do you think I'll feel? Lina, I..." Before he could finish Lina embraced him.
"Zel, I love you." Lina dug her head into Zel's chest and just closed her eyes. Her eyes began to fill with tears of joy. His stone skin was hard and was almost uncomfortable.
"Lina, I love you too." (Hoo boy a mushy corn fest.) He returned her embrace. The director smiled.
"My work here is done." She walked out the trailer and decided to lock the door after her in case the couple didn't want any...coughinterruptionscough.
Lina and Zel's embrace grew tighter and tighter. Lina felt herself in pain, she ignored it. Zel kissed her. Their embrace eased up as Lina kissed Zel back. (Oh goodness... this seems to be getting perverse... oh my!) Zel's immense lust for Lina over the years eventually got to him. I can have her. I can have her. She loves me back. He thought. He began to undo Lina's dress.
Lina let this happen. She returned by undoing Zel's shirt. Since they were dressed to go into a quick love scene their costumes were easy to come off. They were soon very naked. Lina and Zel hugged each other tightly again. Zel rubbed his cheek against Lina's cheek. This wasn't very good, for Zel's cheek had many sharp barnacles on there. It cut Lina and she began to bleed. Zelgadis became alarmed and quickly broke free from the embrace and got dressed.
"What's wrong?" Lina asked, her cheek bleeding.
"Lina, we can't do this. I'm..." His blue eyes were of sorrow. "I'm sorry but we just can't." He put his hand on the handle of the trailer door when the windows of the trailer nearly broke with weird music. "What the hell?"
"XELLOS!WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" Shouted the angry director.
"It's mood music." Xellos grinned.
"It's porn music! They're trying to keep a low profile and you're not helping!" She hit Xellos on the head.
"Well you taped their conversation!" Xellos shouted in protest.
"Well how else am I gonna get the production fees? Didn't you know our producers are the national enquirer?"
"Why them?" Xellos asked. "They suck."
"Ah, well I just won't sell it to them. I'll get a new producer!" (^_^) The happy-go-lucky director laughed.
"What is wrong with you two?" Lina and Zel, both fully dressed, shouted at them.
"Oh how was it?" Asked Xellos. He noticed the cut on Lina's cheek and frowned."I see" he said his head shook as if to say 'too bad'.
"Golly this is going way offtrack from Shakespeare." The director frowned yet grinned again."Maybe this is more of a fan service." Zel and Lina glared at her. "Eheh... eheheheheh... Run!" ^_^; She and Xellos took off running as a heavily angered, sex-deprived chimera and just as equal sorceress followed. Ameria and Gourry stared at the renagading party. They shrugged their shoulders and took off after everyone else. However with all this excitment about, the camera crew's very own Philly (He's the large man whom Xellos had the pleasure of cleaning up after.) set his ferrets loose and all hell did break loose as ferrets were clawing everything, everywhere (a ferret clawing Ameria... hehehe). The happy-go-lucky director's crew had a jolly laugh and taped the whole chase, deciding to show it at the premire cast party. And the moral of this chapter? When a situation like this arises, dock Philly's pay.
Ah, there goes another chapter. I have no idea where the ferrets came from. Aye, the wonders never cease to amaze. Anyway, the next chapter is Terse Romeo & Time. Hope you read it. ^_^