'Amelia Wil Tesla Seiryuun/Metallium.' She read the inscription again, running her fingers over the bubbly inked letters. Her mother's name. The 'S eiryuun' was scratched out, then the 'Metallium', then both were rewritten together, as though the writer couldn't decide which name was her own. Razilee frowned at this. She knew her parents hadn't been married, but surely her mother would have wanted her father's name. Wouldn't she? Razilee herself had taken that name, marking herself as the daughter of Xelloss Metallium and the servant of Zelas Metallium.
She began to turn the page, then stopped short. Should she be reading something this private? Ah, what the hell, she thought. Mommy's not here to be embarrassed about any secrets. The girl also felt an intense longing to know more about her mother, what with Zelas not telling her anything. Razilee didn't really remember either of her parents. This was the key to her heritage!
But still...something nagged at her, something way in the back of her mind. A strange sense of dread and warning, almost as though she might regret the knowledge she could glean from this diary.
No matter. Curiosity got the better of her, and she settled into one of the cleaner corners of the library to read. Turning to the first page, she took a deep breath, smiled, and began.
XVIIId05.1
Dear Diary,
I finally mastered riding Nightdale today! He let me ride him all around the courtyard this morning without complaint. He didn't even throw me off! Master Bourd was very proud of me. He says soon I'll be ready to enter competition. I haven't told Daddy the good news yet; he's been in meetings all day. Something about bandit troubles on the northern border. I hope he gets them figured out soon. I miss having him around. He's been so busy lately that he hasn't come to tuck me into bed for a whole week.
Razilee smiled as she read, feeling a warmth grow within her chest. Her mother must have been just a child when she wrote that. Fifteen, perhaps? Sixteen? She sounded so innocent.
I read a wonderful story this afternoon, called Knight. It's about a human girl who finds her true love in a vale of fairies, and must fight against the prejudices of the fairy people. The ending was so happy. I wish something like that would happen to me. My own knight in shining armor. Perhaps Zelgadis-san would...
No. I don't think he'd do that. He's much too shy. I've been trying for so long to get him to notice me, and nothing has happened. He's gone off on another search for his cure and left me here all alone.
Well, not quite alone. Xelloss-san came to visit me again today. We had tea in the garden under the big oak tree. He's good company, though I'm still not sure why he keeps dropping by. You'd think a Higher Mazoku would have more important things to do than visit some human girl.
It's getting late, and I ought to be going to bed now. Tomorrow I have to get up early for another diplomatic study session. I'm not looking forward to it.
Yours truly,
Amelia
She frowned. Her mother had a crush on Zelgadis? Razilee barely remembered the rock-skinned chimera, having only met him once. She recalled not liking him, and that he'd insulted her father repeatedly. But this entry must have begun the visits from her father, and perhaps the start of her parents' relationship. Putting aside all negative thoughts, Razilee turned the page and continued to read.
Dust. And dirt, turning to mud. Daertal rolled decisively on the ground, trying to get rid of Razilee's scent from his body. The mud helped to cover the scent, but it didn't do much for his personal hygiene. Instead of looking like a drowned rat, he looked like a dirty drowned rat. Phlegh.
Snorting the dust from his nose, he rose up on his legs and shook the mud from his fur, splattering the trees around him. He sniffed the air experimentally. Good. He smelled like his usual self, though his appearance left much to desire. Oh well. Better thann the other wolves finding out exactly what he'd been up to.
Brother?
Daertal snapped his head around. Standing behind him was one of his older brothers, Pring, a chocolate-furred brute of a wolf. I didn't hear you come up.
The brown wolf trotted closer, tongue lolling out of his mouth. What have you been doing? You look...uh...
I've just been playing.
Oh. Well, Mother wants you back at the den. She's a penchant to talk to you.
Daertal's ears pricked up slightly. What does she want?
Pring turned away and trotted back off into the woods, tail swishing behind him. Dunno. But she wants you to hurry up.
Why was his mother still ordering him around? He was a grown wolf, for Juuou-sama's sake. He didn't even stay in the same den as her anymore! But he couldn't disobey her. Shaking the remains of the mud from his fur, he trotted off after his brother, dread forming in the pit of his stomach. Somehow he knew his mother was going to tell him something he did not want to hear.
The den was as warm and cozy as it always had been, but his mother's presence chilled the air. Daertal.
Mother. Her cold black eyes gauged him gradually, in obvious disappointment. The young wolf felt a surge of anger at her glance. You sent for me?
Authority. She had that look on her face, the one she always wore when she was about to give him an order. Damn. You must find a mate.
No.
His mother stared at him in silent surprise, quiet for several moments. I see. So it's true.
Daertal rubbed his nose against his leg, suppressing a sneeze. What is?
That you've already taken a mate.
Nonsense.
Is it? She paced along the ground, looking very much like a predator on the prowl. What of the time you spend so far from the den? What of your estrangements from our pack? What of the times you've come here with a strange scent on your fur? The older wolf stopped in front of him. You do have a mate.
No, I don't.
Why do you continue to lie? she asked. Is it another male?
Daertal nearly fell over. No!
Is she deformed? Or ugly?
She's not ugly! he burst out.
Oh? So there is a mate? Her son didn't answer, only turned away and shuffled his paws. Let me meet her.
His fur bristled. I can't. I won't.
Why? There's no reason for you to hide her from us. Did you not just say that she's a beautiful wolf?
She's...not a wolf.
...and then he just up and left! I don't know what to do! My heart was pounding so loudly that I'm certain he heard it. I'm so confused. Do I have feelings for him? That can't be possible; I love Zelgadis-san! But whenever I'm around Xelloss-san, my heart starts beating really fast and my stomach is full of butterfies. Not to mention that strange feeling between... Anyway, I don't like it. I'm supposed to love Zelgadis-san! He's so cool and chivalrous and kind. Not like Xelloss-san.
Last night, I dreamed about him. I'm embarrassed to say this, but it went further than any dream I've ever had about Zelgadis-san. I'm scared, Diary. I've never felt this way before. When he kissed me today, all I wanted to do was let him take me right there on the balcony. These feelings are dangerous. They have to stop. I have to tell Xelloss-san that...that...I don't love him. I'll tell him that I love Zelgadis-san. Maybe that will stop him from visiting. Maybe that will stop these feelings. But...
No. I'm a Seiryuun princess. I can't have feelings for a Mazoku. It's not right. I'll tell him. Tomorrow.
Razilee's lips turned down into a frown again. She hadn't known that her mother was once a confused adolescent, uncertain about her feelings and her place in life. Now she knew where she got that trait from. Or did all adolescents feel that way? She skimmed down the page to the next diary entry.
XVIIId31.4
Dear Diary,
I wish I were dead The worst thing that could ever happen to anyone has happened to me. I've lost my whole life and everything I've ever cared about. Everything. I feel so dirty. I don't even want to write down why, but...but I have to tell someone. I'll burst if I don't.
Three days ago, Xelloss-san came in the middle of the night and...
The page ended there. Razilee turned it to read on and stopped short, staring in shock at the words written there. "Oh, L-sama!"