Xelloss: Ne, Gourry! I'm bored! *suddenly flings himself into Gourry's arms*
Zel: *snide* No tricks to play for once?
X: *proceeds to ignore Zel, pulls at Gourry's armor straps so that they're face to face, he opens his eyes to great effect, a very hungry look*
Gourry: *intimidated* Eh, bored? What do you want me to do about, Xelloss?
X: You could - *gasps dramatically* - take me right here, right now! *pulls harder on said straps*
Gou: Take you - ???
X: I'm all yours!
Gou: *gulps hard and nervously* Uh, okay. But where?
X: *facefaults*
Zel: *puts down his coffee, sighin* Nope, no tricks except in the euphemistic sense ...
Xelloss: *reaching up to shake again* Gourry!!
Zel: *casually fireballs, but X avoids and Gourry unfortunately gets caught in the flames*
X: Waaah! I want a big blond seme!!
Zel: Oy, what's so special about taking a blond?
X: All the blonds I know are very powerful, very sexy people. So to speak. "People" is a term not well-suited to Lei Magnus-sama or LoN-sama ...
Zel: You know them? *amazed, because they are figures of legend, after all*
X: *winks* "Know," in the Biblical sense!
Zel: Hah? Is that anything like a Clair-Bible?
Gou: *recovering, still burnt* Hey, I know what that means ...
Zel: You do? The Biblical-whatsit, really?
X: Somehow I doubt that.
Gou: "Know," as in "have sex with."
X: *genuinely surprised* Well, I'll be damned.
Zel: *snide again* It won't be the first time.
X: But he has got it! Although, it's puzzling. The Bible doesn't exist in Ruby Eye-sama's world...
Zel: *quirks an eyebrow* So how do you know about it, Xelloss?
X: *ignoring him, wheedling* Ne, Gourry - !! *dusts him off, cuddles him again* Let's get to know each other!
Zel: Again with the Bible.
X: It's only fair, after all. We're both after the same girl.
Gou: SAME GIRL??
Zel: He means Lina, stupid.
X: And so it makes sense, doesn't it, that we battle to see who can best satisfy her?
Zel: By satisfying each other - ?
Gou: Lina - ??
Zel: This is truly twisted. *noting Gourry's expression* He looks like he's about to gag.
Gou: *sweating* Lina's too young! I won't allow it!
X: Oh, what's a little statuatory rape between true loves? *correcting himself* IF you're true loves, that is ...
Gou: Well, I gotta admit that Lina's old enough to get married ...
X: *smug* See?
Gou: But aren't you a bit old for her?
Zel: *chuckling* Vastly old. At least a thousand years - !! *chortles into his cup*
X: Please, leave me alone. In any case, right now it's Gourry that I want. Not Lina.
Zel: Xelloss, I have a question for you. Why are you acting like such a - *with his hand, a wandering gesture as if looking for a word ... *
X: *suggestively* Bite me.
Zel: I mean, what is it? Are you in heat or something?
X: *very coolly* You say that like you're NOT a closet hentai ...
Zel: *choking* Giku - !
X: ... which I KNOW you to be.
Zel: *blushing* Well, you're the one who likes it in the closet!!
Gou: *puzzled at the implications of this exchange* Eh?
X: I can embarrass you, too!
Zel: Just remember you're doing it first by going all flirty all of a sudden!
X: A little flirting doesn't mean anything.
Zel: But you don't have any shame!
X: *matter-of-factly* Of course not.
Zel: Gourry doesn't even like other men, haven't you seen episode #17 of the first season? "Question! Ano ko ni PROPOSE?" aka "Question! He's Proposing to That Girl?"?
X: You're not going to get the edge in this conversation just because you can break the Ibsen's Fourth Wall like that.
Gou: *wide-eyed* Oy, who said I don't like guys?
(Xelloss and Zelgadis pause together as if they feel like they misheard something ...)
{(Simulatenously) Zel: Say what? ; X: What did you say?}
Gou: I never said I don't like guys.